If you're off to Congo, keep one eye on your privates

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Erector, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. Erector

    Erector I ruined the Hall of Fame

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  2. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Holy shit, I'm going there in November.

    Or rather, I was planning on it. I MAY HAVE TO RECONSIDER.
     
  3. RandomFerret

    RandomFerret Fuzzy Forever

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    It's fun to point and laugh and say "Ha, those silly Congolese, look what they're doing now!"

    Thirty men are dead.
     
  4. Omega Charge

    Omega Charge Prepare for trouble...

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    Hehe, go home and try it...

    Black Magic is real.
     
  5. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Me, I'm headed there on a medical aid mission.

    But in the meantime, what else are we supposed to do about it? Yeah, it's a shame people are dying, and I don't think anybody's celebrating that fact. But the story is a little ridiculous and funny independent of the unfortunate loss of life.

    Oh, and in the interest of full disclosure, not only do I regularly laugh about sick and dying people, once I played a trick on somebody with a man's severed arm. And I don't feel bad about any of it.
     
  6. Erector

    Erector I ruined the Hall of Fame

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    I would play tricks on people with body parts but sadly I lack the necessary access to said pieces :( 
     
  7. Vector Sigma

    Vector Sigma <b><i><font color=FFFF00>Crazy Colon Burner!!!!</b Veteran

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    I admit, given the context of the piece, i LOLed. And I didn;t see anywhere about people dieing from it...
     
  8. RandomFerret

    RandomFerret Fuzzy Forever

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    Fifteen suspected wizards have been lynched, it doesn't say how many have died.

    The last time this happened (there has been more than one penis-stealing wizard scare in Congo), the death toll was two dozen.
     
  9. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    You're telling me that despite the (again, unfortunate) loss of life you can actually type this sentence with a completely straight face and not find it even a little funny?
     
  10. Vector Sigma

    Vector Sigma <b><i><font color=FFFF00>Crazy Colon Burner!!!!</b Veteran

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    Ok, I missed that bit, fair enough...
     
  11. Liege Prime

    Liege Prime Well-Known Member

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    I met a few girls that had similar penis shrinking effects on my penis.
     
  12. Lance Halberd

    Lance Halberd oh hai

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    This story, I must know it.
     
  13. RabidYak

    RabidYak Go Ninja Go Ninja Go

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    On the bright side, being known for penis stealing wizards is a step up from 10 years of being the African capital of warfare and tribal violence.
     
  14. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Ah, it's really not as good as it sounds.

    We had this captain in a unit attached to us overseas that was OBSESSED with ground-guiding, which is where you have to have a man using hand-signals to direct you when you back up. Apparently, he'd fallen asleep in the shade of a Humvee once when he was younger and it had driven above him (literally, it didn't actually run over him him) because they didn't use a ground guide.

    But he NEVER would. And it pissed me off. So I took some Afghani's arm out of the biohazard bag (it had come off it some explosion, I don't remember the details 'cause they all kinda blur together) and wedged it under his back right tire late at night. So when he left the TOC and backed up his Humvee to go back to the tents, he ran over a *bump.* He got out to check it and saw, well, a human arm in a soldier's uniform (I'd cut off a sleeve from one of mine for it to wear).

    Obviously, he freaked out. I mean, freaked out. I'm not sure if he was more freaked before he realized it was a trick or after. But he lost it.

    So did he start using a ground guide? Fuck no.

    But it was hilarious. Or at least, it was when I was on a crazy hair trigger all the time for a six month period. Now I look back and question my actions. A little. Not that much. Well, really not at all.

    The captain could run, though. Like two miles in under 11 minutes. That's the only other thing I remember about him.
     
  15. Lance Halberd

    Lance Halberd oh hai

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    :lolol 

    Priceless.

    Remind me to never get on your bad side, especially when you have access to body parts.
     
  16. alecgates15

    alecgates15 DK is Triple Hitler

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    That's what she said! LOL, I'm so immature
     
  17. shortround

    shortround Banned

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    0.0 im not going nere congo
     
  18. Moonscream

    Moonscream YES, We EXIST!

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    So...do you think the police have been collecting photographic evidence? :lol 

    --Moony
     
  19. Gen. Magnus

    Gen. Magnus Everything is Awesome

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    Ah, but are you going near the Congo? That, I believe, is the issue.
     
  20. Lock Cade

    Lock Cade Tarn Fangirl TFW2005 Supporter

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    :wtf: 
     

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