So I went paintballing last Saturday for my bachelor party. Good times. We went out to a lake island that my buddy does maintenance work on to do it. Now you see, I was warned that there was poison ivy all over the island, especially down by the lake shore. We played "hunt the bachelor", so I had a the bright idea that I would hide down on the beach so nobody could get behind me. I was a little drunk and forgetful. What did I do? I HID IN A BIG PATCH OF POISON IVY ON MY STOMACH. I had long sleeves on, but they got hiked up to my elbows while I was crawling around. I didn't think anything of it at the time, and I didn't notice anything until the next night before I went to bed when it started to itch a little. Flash forward to today. I haven't been able to go to work for the past two days because my arms and elbows are covered in gravy-dripping living nightmare. My left arm has swelled to twice it's normal size, and my right elbow won't bend. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the constant oozing. I wake up and I have to PEEL myself off the sheets. I've been trying every medicine I can think of to make it better, the only thing that seems to help is allergy medication. Got any good home remedies I can try on my itchy, oozing flesh?