I review every Transformers G1 episode ever..

Discussion in 'Transformers General Discussion' started by Vector Squidma, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. Lunar Archivist

    Lunar Archivist Well-Known Member

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    And Westerners wonder while people from the Middle East don't like them. :p 

    Incidentally, the racism you mentioned also drove Casey Kasem to quit the show.
     
  2. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Surprise Party

    Plot Summary: We begin on Cybertron, where the Autobots throw a surprise party for Daniel. The Decepticons decide to just be dicks today and crash the party. The Decepticons attack the shuttle bay and destroy several shuttles before retreating. Turns out the whole thing was actually an attempt to futz with the upcoming galactic peace conference taking place on Cybertron.

    With the Decepticons repulsed, Daniel and Wheelie decide they should throw a surprise party for Ultra Magnus, but do not know his birthday. Wheelie tries to just ask him, but Daniel prevents him, saying that if they ask him he'll begin to suspect what their up to. So they head to the Cybertronian hall of records to try and find his real birthday. But as it turns out that information is not in the hall, but located in the old Autobot storage asteroid. They ask the custodian droid for the coordinates, and the droid (who is probably just trying to get the annoying kids out of his hair) gives them the coordinates, saying that they would need a ship anyway. Wheelie then takes Daniel to the shuttle bay where they STEAL A GARBAGE SCOW. Turns out Cyclonus is watching though...why he was watching a bunch of garbage scows I have no idea...

    Wheelie and Daniel fly through a meteor shower and just so happen to crash land on the very asteroid they were looking for.

    Okay, lemme pause the review again. At this point it might be a good idea to bring up the Law of Mediocrity. The Law of Mediocrity can pretty much be summed up as "if you think your planet is any way special, it's really not". This has to do with the fact that space is HUUUUUUUGE. I mean HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!!!!. For example the distance from the Earth to the Sun is around 92,955,807 miles just on its own. Now, that distance is one AU or astronomical unit. Now the distance from the sun to the Oort cloud, which is considered to be the outermost reaches of our solar system is FIFTY THOUSAND AU, or 4,647,790,350,000 miles! Now that's just our solar system. The distance from there to the next object of any sort of consequence, the star Alpha Centauri is 25,689,613,100,000 miles, which is over four times as far. Where I'm getting with all this is because the distances in space are so damn enormous, the probability of anything encountering anything else by accident is nearly impossible.

    So anyways, enough science, let's get back to the review.

    Upon landing on the asteroid Daniel and Wheelie are attacked by weird eel things. They flee from the eels and happen to blunder into the entrance to the hall of records. They walk inside to find even more weird crap waiting for them, as they are attacked by malfunctioning security robots. They run from the robots and run into the eels again, and are hunted down again by the robots! They are saved from eely robotic doom by Cyclonus, who blows away the robots and takes them prisoner. Cyclonus sets the asteroid on a collision course with Cybertron and sends an ultimatum to the Autobots. They can either destroy the asteroid and kill Daniel, or let it impact Cybertron and kill all the peace conference delegates.

    Ultra Magnus rides the Abberation to the asteroid, its flaming hooves of onyx cracking the ether. They storm the records hall and make short work of the sweeps and Ultra Magnus and Cyclonus begin reenacting rock-em-sock-em robots in one of the most poorly choreographed fights in the series. Wheelie uses the distraction as a means to activate the Self Destruct function on the asteroid, and the Abberation swallows the Autobots and Daniel into it's infernal maw and blasts back to Cybertron propelled from fuels distilled from the blood of dead virgins.

    Back on Cybertron Ultra Magnus asks Daniel why he went to all this trouble in the first place, and he says he only wanted to find out when his birthday was. Ultra Magnus says even he doesn't know, so they decide to throw a birthday party for him right there!


    Comments:

    -Taking over a hydroelectric dam? That I can let slide. Ruining a kid's birthday party? That's just being a DICK.

    -Why does an advanced alien ROBOT race store all its records in BOOKS? Where did they get trees to make paper from?

    -Commiting theft just to learn someone's birthday? Seems a little drastic to me. How about they just ASK ULTRA MAGNUS!?!?

    -Why does everything in this series have a self destruct button. Come to think of it, does anything in real life have a self destruct button? Do like, aircraft carriers have self destruct buttons?

    Score: Well I was going to give this episode a really low score for the utterly stupid things Daniel did, until I realized that kids do things that make sense only to them all the time. I mean hell, I once flushed a Star Wars micro machine A-Wing down the toilet, decided I wanted it back, and decided the only logical solution was to stick the hose of our vacuum cleaner in the toilet. Still, nothing particularly exciting happened in this episode, but nothing was really wrong with it either. 6/10.
     
  3. Tigertrack

    Tigertrack Back In The Game!

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    Sigh, another space filling episode.
     
  4. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Madman's Paradise

    Plot Summary: We begin on Cybertron, where (in a shocking bit of continuity) the intergalactic peace conference is being held. Daniel is, of course, bored (personally I would be enthralled by all the aliens walking around, but hey, he's seen a bunch already). He wanders outside and Grimlock follows him, as they wander off into an old alleyway. While walking around Daniel kicks a stray gear, which bounces off and hits a hidden switch, revealing a large hatch leading underground. Grimlock in his clumsiness, accidentally pushes Daniel down and then follows himself. They slide down into an odd room where the walls are covered by hieroglyphs. Grimlock idly touches up against a panel on the wall depicting a bizarre medieval scene and a large portal opens up in the center of the room, which the two fall through.

    They land in...um...generic 1980's cartoon fantasy land... Where they are being watched by a mysterious figure in a red cloak through a mystical portal. Back on Cybertron Carly begins to wonder where the hell her son went off to. An alien ambassador comes over and says she saw him walking off with Grimlock. Rodimus Prime sends Ultra Magnus and Blaster to go look for them.

    Back in...wherever the hell they are, Grimlock and Daniel are attacked by weird...tree...centaur...boar...things...(don't ask). The thingamajiggers hit Grimlock with some kind of...banana lightsaber which...causes his leg to freeze? The man in red though is watching all this through his mystic portal thingy and is impressed with Grimlock's power, and sends a bolt of energy to fend off the thingamajiggers. He goes out to meet the two and welcomes them to Menonia, and offers them an invitation from the red wizard. He brings them back to the castle and tells his tale. Apparently his kingdom was once ruled by the "golden one", but he disappeared only for the Red Wizard to take up his mantle. However a band of rebellious...rebels tried to remove him from power. He therefore asks for Grimlock's help to defend his kingdom from the rebels. Daniel however thought the story was pretty boring and fell asleep. The Red Wizard offers to escort him to some place he will be more comfortable and takes him away...to the dungeon...

    Back on Cybertron Steeljaw has tracked down Grimlock and Daniel's scent, and leads the Autobots to the same room Daniel and Grimlock found themselves in. Rewind discovers that the room was actually a disposal place for Quintesson prisoners, where they would be banished to other dimensions. He concludes the two were sent to Menonia, where Mara-Al-Utha was banished for practicing sorcery. Perceptor activates the portal and stays behind as the others head through. Back in Menonia Daniel awakens to find an old man chained to the wall of the dungeon. He frees him, and the man explains that he was the other pupil of the Golden One, and The Red Wizard imprisoned him and usurped his kingdom. The rebels meanwhile have chosen this very moment to attack, and the two use the chaos to escape from prison. Grimlock, still stupid as a rock, keeps fighting on the side of the Red Wizard. The two head for the cave where the Golden one was imprisoned, only to find the other Autobots there as well.

    Ramhorn charges the rock sealing the cave and smashes it, freeing the Golden One, who heads back to the castle along with the Autobots. The arrival of the Golden One causes the Red Wizard to go all One Winged Angel on us and reveal himself as the Quintesson Mara-Al-Utha! The Golden One says he knows a counter-spell that will nullify Mara's power, but is not loud enough for it to be heard. Blaster transforms to tape deck mode and the Golden One uses his built in microphone to recite the spell and banish Mara-Al-Utha to...somewhere else...

    The Autobots all head back to Cybertron and have a big laugh at the state of Daniel's Tux.

    Comments:

    -I wonder if the alien ambassador's changing skin color was intentional or an animation error. I wish I could change my skin color. I would be all like, hiding the the corner of our dorm rooms common area, and my wussy fashion major roomate would come home, and I would be all like, the same color and texture as the wall, and he would like go to get some leftover kimchi or whatever the hell he eats out of the fridge, and I would jump out and be all like "BLAAAAAARGH!!!" and he would curl up in a ball and be like "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!".

    -That weird Bat-Pterodactyl thing needs to shut the hell up.

    -"Nobody panic, everyone stay calm until we know what's going on. Then we'll panic." I LOVE THAT LINE.

    Score: Um...wow...I have no idea where to begin with this one. I mean, the plot and everything else on their own were fine, its just that out of all the episodes thus far, this one had the LEAST to do with Transformers out of any of them. I feel like I wandered into some other random 80's cartoon. So...based on concept and execution alone I would give it a 6/10, but based on how it fits into the overall framework of the series I would give it a 3/10. Yeah, lets just go with 3/10.
     
  5. Tuxedo Mark

    Tuxedo Mark Well-Known Member

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    I like this one. It's one of the few Carly appearances in Season 3 and basically her one shining episode this season.
     
  6. Pravus Prime

    Pravus Prime Sorcerer

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    One of the lines that still makes me laugh comes from that one, when Daniel asks where they are after they arrive in Menoria, Grimlock responds, "Not Cybertron. California maybe?"
     
  7. Obsidian X

    Obsidian X Dork of the moon

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    I really like Madmans Paradise and because of that I loved the waitermode stuff that MP Grimlock came with.
    Yeah, the panic line is pretty cool.
    One of the few episodes that doesn't have any decepticons in it at all.
     
  8. Vector Squidma

    Vector Squidma Smalltime Casual

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    Nightmare Planet:

    Plot Summary: We begin inside Daniel's mind, where he is having nightmares of a giant Galvatron. He wakes up to find Rodimus Prime watching him. Turns out the Witwickys were worried about their son and asked Rodimus to come over and keep an eye on him. Rodimus comforts Daniel by telling him to imagine a giant version of him if the giant Galvatron ever comes back. Daniel falls back asleep.

    Meanwhile, in...uh...somewhere else...the Autobots are driving through a thick fog when they are attacked by the Predacons. Their battle is interrupted though when they are both attacked by witches, werewolves, and other generic Halloween monsters. Turns out the Quintessons are using Daniel to create monsters from his dreams to fight the Autobots and Decepticons.

    Springer and Razorclaw are kidnapped by a dragon and taken to a castle where they run into a princess (why do medieval settings keep working their way into this show?). The princess claims that there is a magic lance hidden within the castle that can kill the dragon, and that her father will reward her with gold if they succeed. Springer offers to help regardless of the reward, but Razorclaw just wants the gold.

    Meanwhile, Rodimus and the others are being harassed by a giant Witch, when he happens across a convenient bucket of water. Wondering where the Deus ex Machina came from but not at all ungrateful about it, he tosses the bucket of water onto the witch, melting her. A giant snake monsters pops out of the ground soon after, but they are saved by a familiar looking man in a biplane. The Quintessons realize that Daniel is subconsciously aiding the Autobots, and increase the power of their device to curtail his assistance. They all soon find their way into a carnival where they are attacked by the mirrors. A giant Galvatron appears but is fended off by a giant Rodimus Prime. Rodimus finally catches on and realizes they are within Daniel's dream.

    Meanwhile Springer and Razorclaw fight and slay the dragon, which explodes (man, WTF is going on here?), causing the castle to vanish and a yellow brick road to appear. Daniel is still resisting the Quintesson's influence so they set the machine on it's highest setting, causing the world to go from "Generic 80's dream sequence" to "full blown Yellow Submarine class mindfuck". Then some post-modern meta...uh...look, I dunno, Daniel uses his latent psionic powers to blow up the Quintesson's heads or something.

    Daniel then wakes up! Rodimus tells him he wont have any more dreams about a giant Galvatron or snake monsters, but Daniel asks how he knew about the snakes...

    Comments:

    -Wait, was Rodimus Prime watching Daniel sleep? Um...okay...

    -Jump to 4:35 in this clip. DOES THAT SOUND LIKE AN INTIMIDATING DRAGON NOISE TO YOU?

    -Daniel's dreams seem rather...mundane to me. I mean just to give you an example, once I dreamed I was in EB games and found a vacuum that removed glitches from your games. Then me and my two roommates exited the store to find ourselves in an old abandoned warehouse, and we began superjumping off all the walls. Eventually we emerged from the warehouse and I saw a cityscape with what looked like the eye of Sauron off in the distance. I looked around the corner only to see a 50 foot high horse made of multicolored fire coming towards us. We all ran down the stairs in front of the warehouse, but met some other kids running up the stairs who warned us about a giant shark. At that moment said giant shark burst through the wall next to us and ate us and I woke up.

    I mean everyone has dreams that weird right?

    ...right?

    -Having watched a little farther into the episode...maybe his dreams are just as weird as mine.

    Score: I think it goes without saying, but this episode was WEIRD. I mean this series has had weird episodes before, but this one approaches "end of Metal Gear Solid 2" levels of mind screwiness (still not as weird as either ending of Evangelion though). Was Daniel projecting his dreams into the real world? Were all the Autobots sucked into his dream? Was everyone dreaming? Was the entire episode just a dream? I mean I have to give this episode credit for trying something completely weird, but I think they went a little too far. 4/10.
     
  9. Tigertrack

    Tigertrack Back In The Game!

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    Did this come out at the same time as NightMare on Elm Street? Cause it had that flare to it and I think some of the writers must've gotten the idea off that movie.
    At least that's how I felt about it when watching it.
     
  10. UltraMagnus3786

    UltraMagnus3786 That's what it is

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    haha glad you picked up on rodimus prime's creepiness while watching daniel sleep.
     
  11. Lunar Archivist

    Lunar Archivist Well-Known Member

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    There are much creepier things Rodimus Prime could be watching Daniel do in bed. *coughs* :redface2: 

    Did you notice all the Transformer-sized doors in the Witwicky's house?
     
  12. Tuxedo Mark

    Tuxedo Mark Well-Known Member

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    Boo for Carly getting no lines.

    Who voiced the princess? She LOOKS a lot like Carly.
     
  13. Insane Galvatron

    Insane Galvatron is not insane. Really!

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    Considering the history Spike had with the TFs, it makes sense his house would accommodate.

    If the screen name I picked had been taken, I would be "Giant Galvatron" instead.
     
  14. Tuxedo Mark

    Tuxedo Mark Well-Known Member

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    Also, since Spike is Earth's ambassador to Cybertron, that's probably where they live.
     
  15. Pembroke

    Pembroke Good Skyfire. Good boy!

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    Oh, I'm not arguing that they replaced Blitzwing with Octane, I'm well aware of that. I'm just pointing out that they did actually explain why Octane was also a traitor, which you said there was no explaination for it.
     
  16. Insane Galvatron

    Insane Galvatron is not insane. Really!

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    It seemed to be implied he wa already a Decepticon castaway before those events though. That is what was never explained. Those were just further traitorous acts.
     
  17. Pravus Prime

    Pravus Prime Sorcerer

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    Well, he was asked to keep an eye on his friend Daniel. The creepy factor for me is pretty low. For all we know he had just dropped by, head Daniel moving about in his nightmare, or was actually doing important Prime stuff and just set it down/stopped processing it to comfort Daniel.

    Unlike the 200X He-man series which had an episode where Adam had a dream, awoke and the Sorceress contacted him and told him that his dreams may be an important key... which means she doesn't just watch him while he sleeps, but watches a teenage boys dreams.
     
  18. Pembroke

    Pembroke Good Skyfire. Good boy!

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    Hrmm... maybe... I didn't feel like that was implied as much as Octane just taking advantage of the situation, but that could just be me. Oh well.
     
  19. Pembroke

    Pembroke Good Skyfire. Good boy!

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    My notes on a few things.

    Ghost In The Machine:

    I always felt the "Decepticon intruder is in my brain! Decepticon intruder removes my eyes!" line to be a tad creepy.

    I love the exchange between Screamer and Galvs when Screamer takes over Trypticon. "I'M ALREADY SORRY!!!"

    Madman's Paradise:

    I always refer to this episode as "Grimlock and Daniel's Adventures In The Lord Of The Rings".
     
  20. X-Brawn

    X-Brawn Well-Known Member

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    You all should know this already, but it was THIS episode that caused Casey Kasem (Cliffjumper/Bluestreak/Teletraan-1/Dr. Arkeville) to walk off the show (Kasem is an Arab himself). This is why Cliffjumper doesn't show up anywhere, even though he survived The Movie and why Teletraan-1 was destroyed.

    I remember the first time I watched this ep in the early 2000s (and I do mean first, I don't remember this ep as a kid...) and watching it not too long after 9/11 happened, this whole ep struck me as incredibly messed up. Mind you, Carbombya was all one giant dig at Quadaffi (long story short, the Saddam Hussein/Osama bin Laden of the 80s, back when Saddam was still our friend (look it up) and bin Laden was still in college or something...)

    Still, WHY WAS THIS IN A KID'S SHOW? Seriously, I didn't know who Quaddaffi was until a few years ago. When I was a kid watching this, if I did, I wouldn't have gotten any of the references at all. And as much as I wish Kasem would be willing to come back to the franchise, I support his decision.

    It wasn't even hillarious racism (like the Jonny Quest ep where Race calls people heathen monkeys or the banned Looney Tunes eps where it's so offensive, it's not even offensive anymore), it was just stupid. It's kind of like looking back at Rocky IV. Ivan Drago was awesome, but did they have to kill Apollo Creed to show that "Communism was bad"?

    Although, if you want to enjoy this ep a little more, put the The Clash's "Rock the Casbah" on loop while you watch it.
     

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