i need the advice of TFWers, Sad story inside

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by autobotblaster, Nov 17, 2009.

  1. autobotblaster

    autobotblaster Y U NO!?!?!

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    Hey guys, i don't know were else to turn to ask for advice. i would ask my family but the relationship im in has made me the Black sheep of the family(kinda romeo and juliet like). heres the scoop:


    My girlfriend found out she has ADD and now has to take a pill for it(not sure if its ridilen or not, couldnt understand cause when she told me she was crying on the phone when she said it ). the pill has a side effect of making you depressed, wich she is being affected by. Because of this she is VERY depressed and thinks she is stupid . i dont know what to do except to tell she's not(cause she isnt) and be there as much as i can, but its still not helping. I've never had to deal with this before so im stuck.I love her and want to help her, but i cant really figure out what to do rite now so i figured id ask for advice on what i should do to help ( her guardian is making her take the pill so she can focus better, shes not 18 yet so she cant do anything)


    thanks in advance, TFW2005 4 lyfe
     
  2. Darkwing48

    Darkwing48 Heroic Decepticon

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    Ass someone who dated an ADD girl. I'll say just stand by her side, constantly tell her that she's beautiful and intelligent. Give her lots of hugs and attention. Do things with her to make her feel special and distract her of her problems.

    If you can handle that for possibly the rest of your relationship, you'll do fine. It's not that hard and I loved giving my ex my attention.
     
  3. autobotblaster

    autobotblaster Y U NO!?!?!

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    thank you for the advice. i truley want to be with her forever and want to show her that.
     
  4. RHansen

    RHansen Sir. Ranbotnic Veteran

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    I'm sorry but thats the worst advice I could have imagined in a thread about ADD

    You don't try and DISTRACT someone from their problems, especially when its Attention Deficit Disorder. If anything, confront the problems and find a solution that works for her, her family and yourself. You don't solve anything by "sweeping it under the rug".

    Not to say that making sure you compliment them and such is a bad thing to do, but you have to mean it, which I'm sure you do in this case.

    Do some research on it, and talk with her about it, HELP her accept the diagnosis and learn to live with it, not to live trying to ignore it. THATS support, helping them ignore a problem is selfish on your part if you were to go that route.
     
  5. newguy

    newguy i

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    You need to find a better pill. What's worse; your GF being distracted, or wanting to commit suicide?
     
  6. Tyrant

    Tyrant Zombie

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    ^This.

    My husband has severe ADD, but he's honed skills over the years to help him cope and function fairly normally without having to use any medication. If the medication is causing your girlfriend to be depressed, there are some non-medication options she can look into once she's 18. It takes a long time to develop non-medicine shortcuts (they're different for each person), but it can be done. She may only need medicine while she's in school, not in her normal life. Also, not all ADD medicines cause depression. She needs to talk to her doctor ASAP if she gets worse or if what she's taking isn't working out for her.

    As her significant other, if you're in it for the long haul with her, understand that the best thing you can give her is PATIENCE. She will be frustrated enough on her own for the things she'll go through because of ADD and she will need your understanding.
     
  7. Darkwing48

    Darkwing48 Heroic Decepticon

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    It's a case by case issue. ADD is a condition that varies on people. There's is no sweeping under the rug. She may have esteem issues or those pills are causing an imbalance in her. My ex have been on different meds depending on doctor recommendation and each carries a side effect. Depression can be one of them. She may not be depressed for having ADD. Remember he did say he's in a Romeo/Juilet relationship, so she could be hyperfocused (a symptom of ADD) on that. It's not like a noticeable and preventable disease And of course he have to mean every compliment. If she's anything like my ex, in which I have deal with for nearly 5 years, this is a possible solution to his problems, but there's never an solve all solution.

    ADD is always with a person and they find out the older they get. I've read a few texts on ADD and I believe I have it, and so I believe my brother have it, because I see some of the "symptoms" in my mom.

    I just gave him my advice. Clearly, he'll discover the best way to help his girlfriend deal with it.
     
  8. SpencimusPrime

    SpencimusPrime _

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    And this is a common side effect? curious. I take some medicine to help with my chronic anxiety disorder and it just regulates saratonin in the brain to the right levels. I'd assume this regulates the disorder kind of like that. Odd. Hope this works out.
     
  9. Haloid1177

    Haloid1177 Hey, That's Pretty Good TFW2005 Supporter

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    I would say go to a doctor and talk about alternative medication. They are a lot of different medicines out there for ADD, and not all of them make you depressed. It makes no since to treat her with something if it causes another problem that is just as severe. Even with all the comforting and love you can give her, if the medicine is causing it, and it is a known side-effect, chances are it isn't going to get better. The more she takes the medicine, the deeper the depression is going to go.

    I might sound a little edgy, but as long as she is on that certain medication, there really isn't away around the problem. Constant depression, in my opinion, is a lot worse than the medicine helping with her ADD. But in the end, it is a matter of what the gurdian is going to do. It don't matter if you or her find a different method if the gurdian isn't going to allow the change.
     
  10. thenatureboywoo

    thenatureboywoo Veteran

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    You can offer all the advice you want, but in the end, her legal guardian has the last say so til she turns eighteen.
     
  11. autobotblaster

    autobotblaster Y U NO!?!?!

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    Thank you so much for your advice guys/girls. I plan to take some of the advice you have given, like the comforting and patience and dealing with this and all others. She has a follow up appointment in a few days with the doctor to see how the medacine is working. i just hope the doctor will see how its NOT working in the long run of things. she turns 18 in 5 months so atleast then she can totaly stop if she decides to.
     
  12. seeker311

    seeker311 The Collector

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    "guardian"? as in foster care? Most teens can refuse such medication without any legal consequences; in fact most psychotropic medication isnt even approved by the FDA for minors so if she refuses it, its fine. If its making things worse, therapy and working on coping skills would be best.
     
  13. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

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    Unfortunately, most pharmacological ADD medication has a chance of inducing depression in those who take it. I'd suggest alternative therapy, but I have yet to see a truly effective example of this.
     
  14. grimlock1972

    grimlock1972 "No Mas" My Wallet

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    this is the best advice you could get on the situation. make sure she knows the way you feel about her won't change one bit just because she is on the medication
     
  15. Ace Convoy

    Ace Convoy Well-Known Member

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    I don't see why she need medication...I have ADHD and I don't take meds I'm fine.


    if she's gone this far without medication then I'm pretty sure she'll be fine
     
  16. 245am

    245am opener

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    I also have ADHD and agree with those who posted saying you should learn as much as possible and be supportive without just ignoring the problem. I'll just add a couple of things as my 2 cents...

    Find out what TYPE of ADHD she has- "primarily inattentive," "primarily hyperactive," or "combined." That will tell you a lot about what symptoms to expect and what's going on in her head.

    Also, I've studied ADHD for years (currently working on my PhD in psychology) and never heard convincing evidence that ADHD medication CAUSES depression. An individual may have both already, or the effects of one can cause the onset of or amplify the effects of other, but none of the medication I've studied have depression as a side effect of the medication... In fact, some doctors prescribe SSRI or SNRI medications that are usually for depression as treatments for ADHD because they increase Seratonin (a mood regulating chemical) which can help control depression for that condition and impulsively for "primarily hyperactive" and "combined" types of ADHD.

    All that means is taking her off the meds won't solve anything by itself... I would suggest perhaps the depression is coming not from the medication, but either a separate neurochemical issue or what sounds like complicated and frustrating life events. In that case, the depression needs to be treated head on, or other interventions can be made for helping her manage her life, her responses to stressers and the factors that can cause/amplify depression.

    Last thing- I'm talking a lot about medication becuase it sounds like an issue of concern, but NO doctor worth anything would prescribe medication alone. ADHD like other neurochemical disorders is usually treated through a combination of medication and behavioral therapy. In short, there are things you can do outside of the prescription to help her focus, maintain focus, avoid distractions, stay organized, etc. Doing so may help her be successful in things that cause failure, which may also help alleviate the depression.

    I know that's a lot, but this is my area of specialty... feel free to PM me if you have other questions.
     
  17. Toxicon

    Toxicon Banned

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    [​IMG]

    It's not gonna get better than that, man.
     
  18. Tyrannosaur

    Tyrannosaur 100% Sarcastic Saurian

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    I'm not sure if I have ADD or ADHD or whatever. My therapist never got back to me on that.
     
  19. cheetorBWORG

    cheetorBWORG Cheetor Fan

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    I'd suggest asking her to do some calming activities, such as meditation and maybe yoga/taichi... I mean, it's a way of calming the system, I think.
     
  20. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

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    But what about the withdrawal periods from coming off, say, Ritalin dosage? Not everyone who undergoes those tearful, emotional episodes has had a prior history of depression...
     

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