I had my "you might be a redneck if....." moment

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Sludge, Jul 15, 2007.

  1. Sludge

    Sludge Formerly NC Bulkhead

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    I almost became a Darwin award nominee

    I'll start this by saying, although I live in the South, I'm not orignally from here. So I don't consider myself a redneck. But maybe they're rubbing off on me.

    I was mowing the lawn today, and saw the biggest fire ant hill of my life in my back yard. I have allergic reactions to bug bites, so they had to go. I got the bright idea of burning them.

    Let me preface this by saying, I know it's not a good idea. I've seen the videos where people blow themselves up doing it. But I figured I'm smarter than them, I'll just use a small amount of gas.

    So I poured gas all over the ant hill and made a line of gas about 4 feet away. Here's the funny part. I lit the end of the gas trail which shot up a huge flame. That caused me to jump back and drop the gas can on the fire. When I grabbed it to pick it up, the spout was burning. So I'm sitting there picturing this gas can exploding like a bomb in my hand. I threw the can down the hill in my yard (waiting for it to explode). Luckily the toss and roll put out the flame.

    Now that that fiasco was avoided, I noticed my yard was burning like a California wildfire. There was black smoke going into the sky from my backyard. I grabbed the hose and sprayed out all the flames.

    I REALLY hope my neighbors weren't watching! Unfortunately my wife saw it. She was not happy. :throw  :rip 

    So take it from me. Gas on ant hills really isn't a good idea!
    :lolol 
     
  2. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot Arise Rodimus Prime

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    That was really really really really REALLY stupid! I can't emphasize enough how stupid that was.
     
  3. Sludge

    Sludge Formerly NC Bulkhead

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    Yeah, I know. My wife has reminded me all day.
     
  4. ILoveDinobot

    ILoveDinobot Arise Rodimus Prime

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    I don't know her, but I like her already :lol 

    And I just wanted to add, a can of ant spray would have done the trick I think.
     
  5. Eric

    Eric Per sempre marciamo.

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    Wow, that was pretty stupid. :lol 
     
  6. Gears

    Gears buh-buh-body ya Veteran

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    Even a redneck wouldn't try something that dumb.
     
  7. TrickyDisco

    TrickyDisco <b><font color=blue>Voted TFW2005's Sexiest Female

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    Wow...you almost became a Darwin award candidate right there :lol 

    Did it at least get rid of the ants?
     
  8. Star Sabre James

    Star Sabre James <b>The JUICE</b> TFW2005 Supporter

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    Yeah it was stupid, but it also sounds like fun.:lolol 
     
  9. onesock

    onesock Banned

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    Dude. I live in the south. Trust me when I say this...

    REDNECKS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU.
     
  10. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    I burn ant hills with gas all the time and never had a problem.
     
  11. Atomsplitter

    Atomsplitter Needs a new title.

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    You probably never throw the gas into the fire, or throw the gas after that while it's on fire, though.

    And this thread deserves a facepalm.
     
  12. Sludge

    Sludge Formerly NC Bulkhead

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    The only reason I has a problem is the fact that I dropped the gas can. When I picked it up it was pouring fire. Otherwise it would have been fine. But, I still won't try it again.
     
  13. Boggs6ft7

    Boggs6ft7 TFW2005 Supporter

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    kerosene is the way to go, it still burns, but not nearly as explosive as gas
     
  14. RandomFerret

    RandomFerret Fuzzy Forever

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    Ironically, the gasoline on its own would have been enough to poison the ants. There was no need to light it.
     
  15. Wreckgar

    Wreckgar Anthony Stark Veteran

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    Best part of this was that you picked up the gas can instead of immediately finding the hose. Truely amazing.
     
  16. IACON

    IACON "That's Vector Sigma?" TFW2005 Supporter

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    You used Gas to burn Ant hills ?
    Why ?

    Don't you know that M-80's & Cherry bombs take care of that ?
     
  17. Sludge

    Sludge Formerly NC Bulkhead

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    Yeah, probably not the best idea. But I wouldn't have been able to get to the hose in time. The whole gas can would have went off by the time I got back. Luckily picking it up and throwing it down the hill put the flame out.
     
  18. Sludge

    Sludge Formerly NC Bulkhead

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    That's pretty funny. I'm gonna change the thread title.
     
  19. ABH1979

    ABH1979 Blue Boba Moderator TFW2005 Supporter

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    IronhideTFX would be proud.
     
  20. Katamari Prime

    Katamari Prime Hassan Chop! TFW2005 Supporter

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    You could have just used the hose and drown the little bastards.

    Fiiiyu, bow bow chicka wawawa, Fiiiyu.
     

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