I am not myself right now (rant)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dark_Convoy, May 24, 2006.

  1. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    I generally don't like to rant much these days, but I am finding that over the last few days, I am totally not feeling like my self (or at least the self I have been for the last couple of years).

    I'm sure it's all work and fatigue related, but it's really started to affect me in the head, and I need an outlet, I need to rant, my wife has a bad habit of not "getting it" when it comes to this type of thing, and while I don't fault her for it, it just makes it that much harder when I get this way.

    For the last 10 days, I have not had a day off of work, and for the last 6 it has been 12 hour shifts. I have been working these crazy 6 pm to 6 am shifts off and on for the last few months with only a week of working "normal" hours in between.

    The money has been great, my last check was for over 3 grand, but damn, all this doing nothing but working and sleeping is really starting to get inside my head and I feel like I am going crazy.

    I came into work today and find out that we might have to work over the weekend, and that the work that was supposed to get done this week will be pushed back to next week because this facility is taking up slack for another facility that is "behind".

    The problem here is I am supposed to be on vacation next week and have been planning it since the beginning of this year, and I and one other person are the only ones in town with the technical prowess to keep this particular machinery running (hince the long shifts). They were supposed to be done this week which wold have made my vacation a non-issue, but now it's not looking that way.

    Back to my rant - I AM FUCKING LOSING IT It's taking every ounce of control I have right now not to snap on someone, every time someone even looks at me I feel like telling them to fuck off, and I'm not like this - I'm really not.

    I already snapped at my wife today, I got home from work this morning at about 7 am, went to sleep, woke up at 3:30, and immediately went about mowing my lawn, I came in when I was done and plopped down on the couch to rest a moment before I went to work and she started bitching at me for knocking her drink over (which she left on the arm of the couch) and I SNAPPED - then afterwards immediately had to start getting ready for work because I have to be here at 6 pm.

    I feel like shit now, I said a lot of shit to her I shouldn't have, and it was really just a small thing, but EVERYTHING is getting to me right now, EVERY LITTLE GOD DAMN THING.

    I'm sitting in my office right now trying to calm down, it feels like my heart is going to jump out of my fucking chest, I walked into a big fucking mess at work and this is the first chance I have had to take a little break.

    ...I don't know, I'm not looking for sympathy or anything like that, I'm just truly going nuts and I have to rant about it somewhere, I have to get it out.

    ...shit someone is walking up to my office... gotta go :banghead: 
     
  2. Raz

    Raz Flamethrower TFW2005 Supporter

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  3. Soundblaster1

    Soundblaster1 The Heisenberg of Toys

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    Geez. first off, call your wife and try to explain what is going on with you. If she doesnt get it, simplify it a LOT. even if that means telling her your life sucks right now and you have been having some bad days.(or something to that extent)
     
  4. Soundblaster1

    Soundblaster1 The Heisenberg of Toys

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  5. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    I just got off the phone with my wife and tried to explain to her what is going on with me and I got this huge speech about how this is my job and I am being a baby and need to deal with it.

    after which I told her, "It's probably not a good idea to continue this conversation, because I don't want to say anything I will regret later."

    I can't believe the way she acts sometimes.
     
  6. Edge

    Edge weapon of destruction

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    I find punching a punching bag helps reduce stress and if that doesnt work if you got some time simply jam on your gutair or something. If you got an intrest you havent picked up in a few weeks nows a good time I find it helps get my mind off things.

    I hope that helps
     
  7. Liokaiser

    Liokaiser Super Mod

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    You need to get away(vacation) with the family stat. This I demand!!!!!
     
  8. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    That's the problem, I usually Lift weights 3x a week, and play my guitar almost every day, I have not had time to do so - all I do is work and sleep.

    I know I'm just freaking right now, but DAMN... just damn.
     
  9. Raz

    Raz Flamethrower TFW2005 Supporter

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    Don't risk ruining anything in your personal life from job related stress. If work is taking it's toll on you at home, it's time to find another line of work. Irregardless of what you make, or do. Imo. At the end of the day everything in your life will suffer from your work related stress... It seems it has already begun with your wife.
    [/irrelevantpostbutitried]
     
  10. Predaking

    Predaking Well-Known Member

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    I feel for you man... I'd go crazy too if I had to work nonstop for weeks like that. Maybe you can use one of the sick days to take a day off and relax a bit. Too much work and stress are not good for your health and your family.
     
  11. Nerd Bomber

    Nerd Bomber Consulting your needs

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    Just wait until they move your office down to the basement.
     
  12. Raz

    Raz Flamethrower TFW2005 Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
  13. Streck

    Streck <B><FONT COLOR="#FF0000">QED</B></FONT> Veteran

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    Hey D_C, are there any hobos in the area? Preferably ones that won't put up too much of a struggle?

    Just saying.
     
  14. RHansen

    RHansen Sir. Ranbotnic Veteran

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    *gives D_C a hug*


    comon' everyone, group hug
     
  15. Sonscreen

    Sonscreen Casual TF collector<br><b><font color=#FF0000>aksm TFW2005 Supporter

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    Cranking one out usually helps.
     
  16. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    :lol  it's funny you mentioned that, I don't want to brag, but my wife and I usually still go at it like we're 19 (the main reason I have 4 kids!) AND I HAVE EVEN BEEN TOO TIRED TO EVEN HAVE SEX!!!! -You KNOW there is something wrong when this happens!
     
  17. tikgnat

    tikgnat Baweepgranaweepninnybong. TFW2005 Supporter

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    I think thats part of the problem right there, I'm a pretty strung out guy myself, when I train regularly no problem. Everytime there's a break in exercise, I get ratty. Weird, but there's some connection.

    The thing to remember here, its just a job. Do it to the best of your ability, do all you can in the time allowed, but when your holiday comes, bloody well take it.

    If the company does not understand what stress you are under, and the need for the holiday, then you can bet they'll do this to you again and again, which will lead to an early death. Seriously, if they continue to dick you about, start looking for another job on the sly.
     
  18. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    Need some 'Shalom in the home'?

    Ok everyone out of the livingroom, daddy's gonna crank up his guitar for a bit.

    *starts singin some GNR " I used to love her....."
     
  19. Ktulu

    Ktulu Whoosh TFW2005 Supporter

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    You definitely need to find some form of relieving stress, or how to find the time to do the things you normally do to achieve that. I myself have been having problems with lots of built up anger and distress etc, but I know if you can just find some release things will see easier to manage. There must be some way to evaluate your time and fit things in better without putting so much pressure on you. There always is some way, you just have to figure it out I guess.
     
  20. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    Thanks for the kind words guys, I'm feeling much better today, I actually managed to find the time to "get some" right after my wife came home from dropping the kids off at school - I have to say it did me a WORLD of good :D .
     

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