How to write a review for the movie.

Discussion in 'Transformers Movie Discussion' started by llamatron, Jul 2, 2007.

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  1. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    So, you're an awesome movie critic and you want to write a review for the Transformers movie? Here's how you do it.

    1) Spend the first half of your review talking about how much you hate Michael Bay. This is the most important part of the review. Remember Pearl Harbor? That film was *terrible.* In fact, it was so bad that you're going to have to spend 50% of this review looking at Pearl Harbor again. Hey, remember Team America: World Police? They had that song about Pearl Harbor? Kids love that shit. People will think you're hilarious.

    2) Hold on, hold on, hold on. Aren't Transformers those toys from the 80's? This... this is a film about toys! And don't you also remember reading about how they all turn into GM cars? Well I think we know where the next 30% of our review is going - let the world know how lame product placement is.

    3) Ah crap, almost out of space. Use the remaining paragraph to comment on... uh, how loud the film was? What else can we talk about... oh, it's pretty long I guess. Complain about that.

    4) WHATEVER YOU DO - don't actually review the film. OK?

    Follow this easy plan and you'll end up with a perfect Transformers movie review.
     
  2. KA

    KA PENIS GOES WHERE?!!

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    hey, you forgot the bit where youre actually required to watch the movie 1st before reviewing it since thats like, optional.
     
  3. transmetal2dinobot

    transmetal2dinobot Sub-Commander

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    so true
     
  4. Lateralus

    Lateralus Well-Known Member

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    Use the first half to compare the movie to sex.
     
  5. RHansen

    RHansen Sir. Ranbotnic Veteran

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    why make this thread? seriously
     
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