So the wife and I bought a house last fall. Nice neighborhood, cool neighbors - except for one. A few houses down lives a guy who I think most people would refer to as "batshit crazy". A few fun facts about him: 1. He's bi and lets everyone know it, but he's been enjoying the men as of late. Also lets you know THAT. 2. He looks like a little Grizzly Adams with a baseball cap. 3. He thinks he's an energy vampire - but the kind that only works over the internet. He sucks people's energy OVER THE INTERNET. 4. He walks up and down the street all day and strikes up a conversation with anyone that happens to cross his path. Strange, awkward conversations and questions about who they are, where they live, how their socks are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, etc. 5. He's apparently drinking vodka during his walks, regardless of the time of day. 6. Everything he tells you is apparently a secret, regardless of how meaningless it is. For instance, a few weeks ago I was chipping ice off the sidewalk and he came wandering by. He came up to me and we had one of those awkward conversations, during which he told me in a whisper "It's going to warm up this week". Weeks before THAT, he let me in on the big secret of which day they come pick up the garbage. I didn't know it was a secret until then. 7. He keeps telling my wife she looks like Mary Magdalene. He also mentions how bi he is. If she has a friend with her, he makes SURE to mention how bi he is but how he's been thinking about having a three-way with two women lately. 8. We made the mistake of letting the guy into our house during a party awhile back - he kept going on and on about how wonderful and beautiful the bedroom door looked (the bedroom door is just like the other doors in the house, but it's missing a decorative panel on the bottom that left a big square of black glue. It's ugly as sin). He used the word "Seussian". Just the other day, he came up to me and asked if I would come over and fix his computer (the same one he talks about watching loads of gay porn on all the time and apparently gets all vampire-y on). He said something along the lines that if I did, he would repay me with "services rendered" with a creepy grin. Needless to say, DO NOT WANT. Hence my problem - he's a fairly nice guy and has a pleasant demeanor (when he's not freaking you out), but there's no way in hell I'm going over to his house for anything, and frankly wish he would bugger off completely. How can I avoid him or tell him to bugger off without making him even more insane?