This is a true story. I'm driving home from stopping at Chick-Fil-A because, Gosh darn it, I wanted me a sammich. A spicy chicken sammich, if you want details. After waiting for the 13 year old pimply-faced clerk to finish typing my debit card in by hand (uhhh...?) I drove away, my frustration at my impatience subsiding as I reached in the bag and had myself a delicious waffle fry. I said to myself, literally: "Haha, waffle fries, bitches" and drove away. As I am heading down the large hill that leads in to my neighborhood, occassionally reaching in to eat a waffle fry while I smoke my Marlboro Skyline cigarette with the other hand, an old white pick-up truck on the other side of the road picks up speed, crosses all the way in to my lane (like, head-on) and goes off in to the ditch to my immediate right, gets back on the road and into his lane, and goes on his merry way. What. The. Erector!? Since I'm practically stopped in my lane, I glance to his lane after he's gone all assburger crazy on me and notice why he decided to play Chuck Norris with his truck. A doe, a deer, a female deer, is all chillin' in the road, eyeing me down (probably for my waffle fries!). He looks at me, in to my soul really, then hops back in to the grass. I proceed to speed up to the speed limit, take another drag of my Marlboro Skyline cigarette, and eat another waffle fry. After the adrenaline wore off and my body unlocked itself, the only response I could come up with? "Waffle fries, bitches." So, in retrospect, I guess the deer almost got me killed today. That, or the dumbass who decided to speed up and swerve instead of, you know, stopping. Or maybe, just maybe, he didn't see the deer at all ... but saw me eating a waffle fry and was like "OMG GOTTA GET ME SOME WAFFLE FRIES" and lost control, determined to either take a short-cut (through houses) to Chick-Fil-A, or to take me out entirely and eat MY Chick-Fil-A waffle fries. That guy. That deer. Those delicious waffle fries. Waffle fries, bitches.