How Chick-Fil-A's Waffle Fries Almost Killed Me

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kickback, Mar 30, 2011.

  1. Kickback

    Kickback Proud father Administrator Super Mod News Staff

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    This is a true story.

    I'm driving home from stopping at Chick-Fil-A because, Gosh darn it, I wanted me a sammich. A spicy chicken sammich, if you want details. After waiting for the 13 year old pimply-faced clerk to finish typing my debit card in by hand (uhhh...?) I drove away, my frustration at my impatience subsiding as I reached in the bag and had myself a delicious waffle fry.

    I said to myself, literally: "Haha, waffle fries, bitches" and drove away.

    As I am heading down the large hill that leads in to my neighborhood, occassionally reaching in to eat a waffle fry while I smoke my Marlboro Skyline cigarette with the other hand, an old white pick-up truck on the other side of the road picks up speed, crosses all the way in to my lane (like, head-on) and goes off in to the ditch to my immediate right, gets back on the road and into his lane, and goes on his merry way.

    What. The. Erector!?

    Since I'm practically stopped in my lane, I glance to his lane after he's gone all assburger crazy on me and notice why he decided to play Chuck Norris with his truck.

    A doe, a deer, a female deer, is all chillin' in the road, eyeing me down (probably for my waffle fries!). He looks at me, in to my soul really, then hops back in to the grass. I proceed to speed up to the speed limit, take another drag of my Marlboro Skyline cigarette, and eat another waffle fry.

    After the adrenaline wore off and my body unlocked itself, the only response I could come up with?

    "Waffle fries, bitches."

    So, in retrospect, I guess the deer almost got me killed today. That, or the dumbass who decided to speed up and swerve instead of, you know, stopping. Or maybe, just maybe, he didn't see the deer at all ... but saw me eating a waffle fry and was like "OMG GOTTA GET ME SOME WAFFLE FRIES" and lost control, determined to either take a short-cut (through houses) to Chick-Fil-A, or to take me out entirely and eat MY Chick-Fil-A waffle fries.

    That guy. That deer. Those delicious waffle fries.

    Waffle fries, bitches.
     
  2. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

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    And here I was thinking this was going to be like that Canadian workplace safety ad where the lady gets deep-fried the week before her wedding.
     
  3. Kickback

    Kickback Proud father Administrator Super Mod News Staff

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    What?!

    Someone actually married a woman who worked at a place that uses a deep fat fryer?

    That is news.
     
  4. FatalT 71

    FatalT 71 Mr. JazzHunter

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    There's just something poetic to that.
     
  5. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

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  6. Dran0n

    Dran0n Junk male

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    Kickback don't take shit from no one.

    Those are your fucking waffle fries, and nobody is gonna jack the waffle-shaped potato slab.

    Waffle fries, bitches.
     
  7. a person

    a person Is not amused.

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    I've never heard of waffle fries until now.
     
  8. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

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    They are also known as lattice fries.
     
  9. Plastic Man

    Plastic Man The Man in Black

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    I love waffle fries. :) 

    Edit: Bitches
     
  10. firehawc_69

    firehawc_69 cloppers = ignore list

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    I too had Chick-Fil-A for lunch today.

    Waffle fries, bitches - indeed. Waffle fries, bitches...indeed.
     
  11. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

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    Throw some cheese and salsa and/or chili and jalapenos and stuff on it and make Irish Nachos.
     
  12. fabexmax

    fabexmax Well-Known Member

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    LOL. I deem Waffle Fries Bitches! as new TFW slang for something AWESOME!
     
  13. KnightHawkke

    KnightHawkke Flynn Lives TFW2005 Supporter

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    Mr Hero's Waffle Fries > All Others!
     
  14. firehawc_69

    firehawc_69 cloppers = ignore list

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    The last time someone tried to compare like items, they tried to tell me that Five Guys burgers were better than In-N-Out burgers. Then I tried a Five Guys burger.

    They were wrong.
     
  15. Matrixbeast

    Matrixbeast Here comes a thought

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    I was hoping to read a story about how they changed something and the waffle fries made you pass out due to deliciousness...

    Oh well.
     
  16. Noise Maker

    Noise Maker Well-Known Member

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    Someone needs to take a biology class, methinks. :D 
     
  17. Radioactive Ravage

    Radioactive Ravage Ancient

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    Smoking is a bad habit.
     
  18. MegaMoonMan

    MegaMoonMan OFFICIAL MMM REP

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    In before somebody misses the point and complains about the smoking...DAMMIT.
     
  19. Radioactive Ravage

    Radioactive Ravage Ancient

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    Oh, no. I think the waffle fries negate the effects of cigarettes, actually.
     
  20. Omegatron

    Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

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    Why you have to go and do that? The nearest Mr. Hero is a 17 hour drive away, and now I'm craving a Romanburger. And their waffle fries aren't as good as Chik-fil-A, but they do serve them with cheese sauce, which makes up for it.
     

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