HotSlag Report: Transformers Highly Offended by the Robot Dance

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by Giga Leo, Mar 9, 2011.

  1. Giga Leo

    Giga Leo I know and you know...

    Aug 9, 2002
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    This is a special report brought to you by HotSlag, Your up to the minute (completely biased and inaccurate) source for Transformers and Fandom News!

    Transformers consider the robot dance a visual slur
    -by Tigerburn

    The next time you find yourself being served on the dance floor of your favorite club, it might enter your head to bust out the classic, jaunty looking number called the robot. These days however, it may be in your best interests to keep those moves in your back pocket. Transformers around the world are speaking out with a united voice against the use of the robot, a dance many consider to be a visual racial slur against them.

    "It's offensive!" declared a grouchy Gears, "Do I mock you openly? What are we, back in the 80s?" It's to be noted that Gears also took the time to express his disapproval of the video game franchise 'Gears of War', citing a consultation fee that was never paid.

    "It's like humans dressing up in blackface, that sh** ain't funny!" said a disgruntled blue and yellow cassette bot. "Yeah I may shoot Autobots in the face, but that dance, that ain't cool."
    His red and black companion also chose to chime in.
    "Yeah, it's just degrading! How about I hop on one foot, pat my mouth and yell aboo-boo-boo! See, offensive! I don't know who came up with that dance, but I'd like to piledrive his face in."

    We caught up with Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, who seemed a bit touchy when we broached the subject of the taboo dance. "Just stop doing it, it's a vulgar, mocking series of movements that remind us of our slave dance on Quintessa."

    “Boop-beep bleep’n sqk blurp-splu-brk-tch-bop!” -Bumblebee
    -Bumblebee heeds Ratchet’s plea for restraint despite being openly mocked by the human child Raf.

    "I used to do it." recounted Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, "As a young up and comer in the gladiator battles, you insulted and mocked the hell out of your opponent both before and after the match. But I was young, and by Unicron I was stupid."
    Despite a millennia-long war, both Megatron and Optimus Prime agreed eons ago that the robot dance was something that would not be tolerated on or off the battlefield. Use of its jerky motions would result in immediate suspension from the ranks and possible removal of one's personality component. Though not confirmed, many Decepticons have implied that the Combaticons' constant use of the dance both in public and private heavily contributed to the decision to remove their components and let them sit in the Detention Center where they could 'think about what they did'.

    So the next time someone asks you to do the robot, please for the love of the galactic peace, don't.[​IMG]

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