Help from the Dads (and others)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by aledromo, Jun 23, 2010.

  1. aledromo

    aledromo Decepticon at the Gate

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    Serious topic, folks.

    My wife, whom I love very much and who is probably the only person in the world to have ever made me a priority, just told me that she's pregnant.

    No, I'm not happy. Yes, in a way I agreed to this. Because I knew it's what she wanted, and I realized that it was probably the right thing to do for our relationship in the long term. I guess I thought that if I did the right thing the universe would say "it's great that you made that sacrifice, so in exchange for doing the right thing you get to be sterile!"

    Anyway, I really don't want to talk to any of my friends about this and I'm not even sure what I'm looking for here. I just needed to say something to someone. I guess it would be nice if someone, especially someone that never dreamed of having kids but did, told me that life goes on. Thanks.
     
  2. Deceptikitty

    Deceptikitty all about the hasubandos

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    How long have you been married? Why don't you want this - not feeling ready (financially, age-wise, etc.)? Unfortunately this is the point of no return if she wants this.. but I'm sure if you love her you'll grow to love parenthood. Hopefully.
     
  3. aledromo

    aledromo Decepticon at the Gate

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    Married 2 years, dating 6. I'm 33, so I know that there wasn't much more time to wait before things started getting hairy biologically. I don't want it because I've just never wanted kids. Never saw the point. Never liked having to devote so much of your time and energy and money to someone that for years can't and then usually doesn't appreciate it. I always thought that one day it'd click and I'd want them but it never did.

    But I knew getting into marriage that she wanted kids. We talked it over and she gave me many opportunities to back out. But I just didn't. Don't know why. Terrible thoughts are going through my head right now, and I feel bad about this.
     
  4. 03Mach1

    03Mach1 Reason Has No Voice

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    Unfortunately, you've done the crime and now you have to step up and do the time. I personally, have no desire to have kids. Neither does my wife. We make each other happy without the validation of children. I feel for you. Good luck.
     
  5. moreprimeland

    moreprimeland Optimus told me to do it! Moderator TFW2005 Supporter

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    Speaking as someone who used to say that (never wanting kids) just DON'T!!! You would regret it later..yep, they're a lot of time and energy and of course $$$, but soooo worth it...Rejoice in the new life you've created...I believe when you hold your newborn for the first time, you'll be going, "What the hell was I thinking not wanting him or her????!!!

    ( I was going to say Man Up!!, but I know you're being serious here, so I will too!)
     
  6. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    Did you and your wife discuss the possibility of have kids in the future? How is she feeling?

    All I can tell you is probably what you don't want to hear... You need to step up, for the kid who will be counting on you. I'm sorry and I hope that you can find a way to make it work.
     
  7. aledromo

    aledromo Decepticon at the Gate

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    Yeah, I'll do what I gotta do. And I guess I'll look forward to 20 years from now when it leaves for college or to join the circus or something. Whatever, I've had a good run. Better than going to jail for a crime I didn't commit or getting AIDS or something, right?
     
  8. moreprimeland

    moreprimeland Optimus told me to do it! Moderator TFW2005 Supporter

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    Dude, it's NOT a death sentence, cheer UP!!!! :D 
     
  9. thenatureboywoo

    thenatureboywoo Veteran

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    Kids are better than toys. They laugh when you fart, and you'll laugh when they fart. I don't know where the problem is here.
     
  10. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    That's the spirit!
     
  11. aledromo

    aledromo Decepticon at the Gate

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    Strong rally, Prime and Natch. Strong!
     
  12. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    If it's fear, or if you're afraid ....then don't worry about a thing, all that will disappear as soon as you see it with your own eyes.

    Yeah you'll lose a little in the process , but you'll gain so much more.
     
  13. seeker311

    seeker311 The Collector

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    I wanted a child but never expected everything that has come with it; that being said, it has been worth it 110%

    Never have I gone out of my way for another human being and enjoyed doing it
     
  14. ArmadaJetfire

    ArmadaJetfire <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and

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    All those doubts, fears, angers, all of it will disappear the first second that the doctor hands you the baby and he or she opens thier eyes and looks at you. It just all goes away. Trust me. It all works out.
     
  15. Star Sabre James

    Star Sabre James <b>The JUICE</b> TFW2005 Supporter

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    If you didn't want kids you should have gotten snipped.

    I'm single, and don't have kids, but I have a niece and nephew, who really add a lot of value to my life. Kids are a lot of work, at times, but worth it.
     
  16. Los

    Los Now you see me...

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    Sorry bro I hate to be blunt but let me tell you something that you will learn very quickly (even before the child is born), having kids with someone to save/keep the relationship is NEVER the answer. You know why? Because you are no longer the priority for her, the child will be. Forget what happens in 9 months, you have no idea how much your life is going to change in the next 9 days!

    Don't worry, life will always go on. I wish you the best and hope that you and your wife have a healthy baby.
     
  17. MetroBub

    MetroBub 49ers Fan

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    I was shocked beyond belief when my daughters mother told me. But dude once you see your child born......... It will change you.

    Esp. once it starts to call you daddy....
     
  18. Mr. Sparklebot

    Mr. Sparklebot 'Til All Are Juan

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    Truer words have never been spoken...

    Not that I have a kid or anything, not for a long while. But best of luck to you and the family. I'm sure once you actually start taking care of the child, you'll experience something far different than what you expected.
     
  19. grimlock1972

    grimlock1972 "No Mas" My Wallet

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    Looks at this this in 9 months you will have a young child you can raise to be a transformer fan and in 18 years if its a girl you will have an excuse to wave a shotgun at teen age boys.

    Seriously though I am not a father but i have helped raise many of my nieces and nephews and had a sorta step daughter for a couple of years , and having a child in your life is a wonderful thing.
     
  20. kraven

    kraven Decepticon

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    Life goes on, man. Trust me. My daughter just turned 2 on Monday and I still spend way too much time on this site, I still collect and play with toys, I still stay up at night and play video games, I still smo... uh, anyway, you'll be fine! :thumb 

    If my 2 cents didn't help, just read thenatureboys post again!
     

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