Have you ever hurt someone?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by terry981, Jun 17, 2011.

  1. terry981

    terry981 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Posts:
    896
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +0
    Realized your mistake and asked for forgiveness but the person didn't want to forgive you? Is it even worth asking for forgiveness if it happened 2+ years ago or should you let it slide? I brought this up because I did hurt a few people in my life and I contacted a few people. One person forgave me while the other sounded bitter (like pointing fingers at me) but still told me good luck. I just wonder if this happen to anyone else?
     
  2. Razerwire

    Razerwire 99 Problems... Super Mod

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2004
    Posts:
    49,748
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    342
    Likes:
    +39
    I think it's always worth asking regardless of the passage of time. That way you've tried to make amends and lifts some of the burden off your shoulders.

    You can't control whether those you've hurt will forgive you but at least you made an effort to right a wrong and that goes a long way.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2011
  3. Matty

    Matty @StayingInTheBox Moderator News Staff

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2009
    Posts:
    14,567
    News Credits:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    222
    Likes:
    +46
    We're human, we've all been hurt and have done the hurting. You've done your part by trying to fix those mistakes.
     
  4. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2008
    Posts:
    8,557
    Trophy Points:
    191
    Likes:
    +0
    Agreed. I know I've done my share of hurting, and gotten hurt, too.
     
  5. 46+2

    46+2 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Posts:
    5,604
    Trophy Points:
    176
    Likes:
    +0
    Depends on how bad the damage was. Some I've gone back to and others were past the point of an apology.
     
  6. terry981

    terry981 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Posts:
    896
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +0
    Wow, that bad on the latter part? Was it a bad break-up?
     
  7. jazzmasta32

    jazzmasta32 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2007
    Posts:
    1,382
    Trophy Points:
    126
    Likes:
    +0
    No. If someone's hurt by me they're likely taking me way too seriously.
     
  8. The Dark Seeker

    The Dark Seeker TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Posts:
    19,122
    News Credits:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    292
    Likes:
    +89
    I think everyone has done this to a degree. However, the only person never to forgive me for what I "supposedly" did still hasn't. And honestly, I don't care to know if he has. Not to get into too much specifics, but the guy brought it onto himself. Caused the situation himself, but always points the finger at other people, never accepting any responsibility for his own words or actions. Its not just me who would say he was conceited, arrogant, and prideful. Everyone who knew him would agree. Practically no ounce of humility in him at all.

    I've asked for forgiveness even though everyone tells me I shouldn't have. This guy used to be someone I considered a best friend. In hindsight, I guess he really wasn't. Oh well. Life goes on.
     
  9. terry981

    terry981 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Posts:
    896
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +0
    I got mad at the (finger pointer friend) because he gossiped behind my back. And then I hastily quit my job without telling him but my boss knew why I quit (and of course my boss would lecture him). I didn't talk to him for years I decided that I did get pissed off for a small reason and I was immature then. He was saying it was my fault for not telling him if his gossip pissed me off (okay, it is my fault). I got a little shocked when he said he admitted he gossiped to my friend (the other one that forgave me), but because "she deserved to know." Um what? Since when did you become her guardian angel? He went off tangent saying that I jump to conclusions when he was making a false claim about how I liked the friend so I shouldn't had introduced him to her. Um what again? Btw who is making jumpy conclusions now? Sadly people who don't forgive will try to add on things to make you look bad.

    He was really mad and immature so I just ate the words and told him that I would better myself as he told me, probably the only thing of the whole argument I agreed with him. But its good to let some people win because, like a lot of you said, the burden is lifted. Not really my prob anymore.
     
  10. The Dark Seeker

    The Dark Seeker TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Posts:
    19,122
    News Credits:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    292
    Likes:
    +89
    Sounds like drama. Not sure why you had to apologize for drama you didn't start. Eh....like you said. Its over now.
     
  11. terry981

    terry981 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Posts:
    896
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +0
    I'm Christian so it is God's rule to forgive and I did harbor animosity in the beginning.
     
  12. The Dark Seeker

    The Dark Seeker TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Posts:
    19,122
    News Credits:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    292
    Likes:
    +89
    I can understand that. I guess I sorta did the same with that guy I posted about. *shrugs*
     
  13. tikgnat

    tikgnat Baweepgranaweepninnybong. TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2002
    Posts:
    23,703
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    422
    Location:
    Beneath the Loft, London, UK
    Likes:
    +1,626
    Ebay:
    Twitter:
    Oh I thought this was a thread on causing 'physical' harm.

    I'll tell my story anyway. ;) 

    It was a few years ago, I was training, and the class was doing bag work. The way the class was there were about 10 punchbags hanging, and every few minutes we would all switch around bags and 'assist bag hold' partners.

    One on rotation I got partnered with a girl (a normal girl, not particularly slight or anything), who was braced against the bag, except we were told to do like 100 roundhouse kicks or whatever. After the first kick, I drew it back halfway and did another kick straight away, with the intention of going full tilt for as much as I could to eat up the 100 as quick as possible.

    Problem was she didn't brace against the second kick after the first, my second kick impacted the bag which slammed into her, concussing her so she had to drop out of the class that day.

    I felt so guilty back then. But emotionally? Nah, I'm a nice guy. Wouldn't hurt a fly.
     
  14. Superquad7

    Superquad7 We're only human. Super Mod

    Joined:
    May 19, 2003
    Posts:
    47,598
    News Credits:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    342
    Likes:
    +24
    Sometimes, it can be best to just let things rest; other times, it's best to address the issue. I think it's key to pick those wisely. My dad once told me, "the more you stir crap is the most it stinks".

    :thumb 

    I also understand that I am a human that is flawed, and I am in need of forgiveness. If I am unable to forgive others, then I have no business asking forgiveness for the junk that I do. Additionally, treating others as I want to be treated doesn't guarantee that I get that in return, but the return isn't my motiviation - my motivation is the hope that I am treated fairly and kindly as well as being obedient to what has been commanded of me.

    I have had said to me verbatim that "I will harbor a grudge against you", to which I replied, "well, that's on you, and I've done everything I know to repair damage I may have caused". I accept that I can only do so much. Typically, people don't value my feelings and such, and I've been the one to try to smooth things over to repair any damage. My goal is restoration -to have things reset as much as possible.

    I've only been on the receiving end of this issue with my friends a few times, and one notable time a friend really did everything he could to make things right with me. The issue really wasn't big, but it was clear that he was completely in the wrong and there was a loss of money/assets on my end (long story short is that he agreed to buy something from me and never paid me). I'll never forget everything he did to make things right and how much that meant to me. Quite frankly, it's been one of my best experiences with friends because he communicated to me that our friendship was worth a lot (much more than what he originally agreed to purchase from me).
     
  15. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Posts:
    12,544
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    201
    Likes:
    +3
    I've hurt my fair share of people, both physically and emotionally. The only instances in which I've bothered rectifying the damage I inflicted are those where the people I hurt were those I care or cared about. I'm happy to relate that such instances have long since been satisfactorily ironed out, never to be repeated, and are far, far outnumbered by the times I hurt someone who thoroughly deserved the pain.
     
  16. Macross7

    Macross7 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2006
    Posts:
    7,356
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    242
    Likes:
    +80
    Ebay:
    One time in high school gym class, we were playing soccer. I went to kick the ball but missed & kicked a guy right in the shins. He dropped right there holding his shin.
     
  17. Murasame

    Murasame CHIMICHANGAS

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Posts:
    15,467
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    312
    Location:
    The Lost Light
    Likes:
    +291
    I have hurt many people. But when it was not intended, I sometimes asked for forgiveness and mostly got it. But sometimes it was intended to hurt someone and then it was alright the way it is. Sometimes people deserve it. But I never hurt anyone physically. At least I did not hit someone hard or fought someone hard.
     
  18. bumblebot98

    bumblebot98 Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2009
    Posts:
    4,694
    News Credits:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +4
    As a young toddler I've physically hurt my sisters, like pulling their hair, but emotionally, not really I guess.
     
  19. kaos

    kaos the original thirteen

    Joined:
    May 3, 2005
    Posts:
    3,468
    Trophy Points:
    186
    Likes:
    +0
    its not ur job to be forgiven..but it is ur job to ask for or seek redemption..as long as u made or tried to make amends the burden lies on the others hand..u done ur part if the other party doesnt or wont forgive you its all on him/her/it..the question you should ask yourself is have you forgiven ur self...if u have then move on..if u havent then u wont get over it untill you find peace within..
     
  20. terry981

    terry981 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Posts:
    896
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +0
    True. frankly like Dark seeker I don't give a rats butt about whether he forgives me or not. He was very cocky and had every intention to win the argument type attitude. If he wants to talk someday, I am welcoming and I ain't going to play hard to get. Its all up to God from this point. I did my part I agree.

    I never hurt someone physically unless if it was self-defense.
     

Share This Page