Getting Away?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Metal Chaos, Jan 13, 2009.

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  1. Metal Chaos

    Metal Chaos The Spark of Chaos

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    Has anyone here ever had to get away from their family and make a fresh start on a clean slate? Has anyone here ever had a family that was so bad they did everything they could to keep you down? Has anyone here ever been used by their estranged parents as weapon in their post divorce battles? Has anyone here ever broke off all ties to their family in an attempt to have your own life?


    My mom would never let me have a job at a regular place unless it benefited her tremendously, as it did when I was working for DirecTV - got free sat tv with every channel in up to 4 rooms, 75% medical and dental coverage and $7 an hour. I tried for my first job at pizza hut during high school when I was 15 and the interview went great, it was only for washing dishes but a job nonetheless, I was denied the job because being a minor meant I needed a parent's permission and she said "no".

    After high school I applied at places like walmart, mcdonalds, burger king, Ken's BBQ, Little Caesar's, Domino's, Wendy's Dollar Tree and she always threw a fit when I did this and she always screamed at me that the church camp next street over was hiring people to clean their bathrooms. I'd rather work 2 jobs at fast food than I would to have worked over at that church camp where everyone their was stuck up and snooty, it's true they were all rich and stuck up, it was a church place for rich people. The main reason she wanted me to work there was cuz a woman she didn't like owned the place and I guess me working there would prove something. So every time a place would call about my application she'd tell them "you have the wrong number".
    :( 

    Then she only wanted me to work certain places where she found out she could benefit from it.

    Little Caesar's = free pizza
    Wendy's = Free Food at the end of the last shift, friend Evan worked there and said he got all the free food he wanted.
    DirecTV - free satellite in up to 4 rooms.
    Church Camp place - overheard her say with me working there i'd learn how to clean and i'd clean her house for her for practice every day i was off work.

    When I finally got a job at DirecTV she started charging me $800 rent a month, plus my own groceries, car insurance and cell phone bill. After that I was left broke after each pay check, she didn't want me to move out which she had found out I was planning on doing soon.

    My dad didn't do anything around the house, he left parenting to my mom. By the time I was working they had already split up a month prior and he'd moved into an apartment in the next city over.

    My mom never let me leave the house since the time I was 9, was allowed to go to school and forced to go to church which I didn't like cuz our youth group consisted of 2 groups. Rich Kids and Poor Kids and this is honestly how it went:

    Week 1: spend 3 days washing cars to raise money for a youth group ski trip, all the kids were there. The rich kids, who's parents run a lot of the church and youth activities tell us "we'll call you all when the trip is ready".

    Week 2: only the poor kids are there and we wonder where the rich kids are.

    Week 3: the rich kids are all there and they talking about how cool the ski trip was.

    Week 4: repeat with a different trip and more car washing to send the rich kids off somewhere else.

    This right here made me lose my faith in the man upstairs.

    It bothers me to think back on all the time when we had youth group discussions on why some people don't come to church and the number one answer was "they don't feel accepted" and the youth pastor tells us that's false because everyone is accepted at church. blows my mind to how arrogant and blind these people are.

    Now my mom acts like I'm suffering in life because i dont say "praise god" for every little thing i do or accomplish. the truck cranks up "praise jesus" i get a green light "praise jesus" it just grinds my gears when people think like that.

    Another thing is that she never tried to get me to be faithful, she tried to force me to believe like that was going to be life changing and make me treat her better, it wont because she doesnt deserve to be treated better.

    She's always been a terrible mom, me and my older brother have both confronted her about her favoring our younger brother, he lies, steals, drinks, speeds and does drugs and has been fired from every job he has ever had and she praises him in every way. By the way we all know he does drugs, they have found crack pipes, rolling papers, baggies of weed and burnt spoons in his room before, several times in fact.

    Growing up he never did anything around the house and literally cried about having to do chores, he even cried at the age of 17 because he was told to wash the dirty dishes that he had shoved under his bed for over a year and my mom made me do them for him because he cried.


    Yet my mom constantly praised him like he was jesus and only says good things about him to everyone else.


    My dad just never cared about the family, unless you count getting beat on a daily basis a sign of affection. While that was going on my mom was turning the TV or Radio up so the neighbors wouldn't hear what was going on because she knew if my dad got arrested she wouldn't be driving her new cars any more. She'd even go so far as to yell "shut up or the neighbors will hear and then you wont have anything" while he was pounding us.

    My mom is one of those people who cares about what everyone in the public thinks about her so she acts like she's a good mother and that our family was perfect and then my dad went bad all of sudden so she threw him out. What's sad is she'd always talk to her sisters about finding herself a new, rich husband so she could retire early. she said she doesn't want a man who works for a living but a man who is wealthy already.

    My older brother I love a lot, he's more like a dad to me than our real dad, but he only calls to complain how everyone's against him and that gets old really fast.

    After my mom kicked me out for calling the cops on my brother for attacking me, he has done this several times before. He'll punch me then run and hide behind my mom and she'd threaten if i hit him back she'd have me arrested. So i let them both see that he isn't above the law, that Sheriff looked my brother in the eyes and said "boy you know by law i have to arrest you right?" and my brother almost broke down and cried right there. After that he told my brother to leave and then he left, my mom looked at me and said "you get out of my house" and I did. I lived in seedy hotels for a while then moved in with my dad, after i moved in with him my mom went to the bank where me and her had a joint account for eBay sells, but was my account to begin with and my main account with my paychecks and savings in it, she closed it out and took all my money saying I owed her for mental anguish caused by calling the cops on my brother.

    My dad is bad with money period, he spent over $100,000 on hookers in the past few years and then he sold his retirement and got over 100k for it, he gave me and my brothers each some, $2,500 and a new PC for me, and 5k for each of my brothers. He only gave us the money so the woman he was with would think he was loaded, he even lied and told her he was a millionaire. I spent most of mine on rent cuz after i moved in he figured he'd quit his job and let me work to support both of us while he made weekly trips to jacksonville to see that same woman but i couldnt find a job so he went back to his job he had before.

    The woman he was trying to get to marry him after the divorce ended up with most of his retirement money and both his cars, so he started driving mine without my permission so my mom not wanting to have her name on a car he was driving signed it over to him 100%. He started working for a friend at his car dealership and made good money but always lied about not having any, this morning he got on a bus to idaho and left me here with a sheet of paper saying "you have until the 9th to pay up the rent or eviction procedures will start" and it's now the 13th so I have to find somewhere to live and fast.

    I have no decent family I can live with, my dads on the run pretty much, my mom's insane, my younger brother mooches off his friends and room mates yet talks down to me about not having a job and my older brother lives too far away and already has room mate. Jobs are getting scarce and I have some physical ailments that make me unqualified for the army, dont suggest it again, so im pretty much up the creek without a paddle and by my lonesome.


    I'm wanting to just get away from my family and break off all contact with them. My dream is to move out to California and live out there, find a job, meet a nice girl, learn to surf and make some good friends. I don't wanna be rich, just happy and free. right now family is making that impossible.


    Has anyone here ever broke off contact with family before?
     
  2. GW_Freak

    GW_Freak Banned

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    My parents threw me out when I was 17 and I never went back. I've been homeless, desperate and even in jail but I never went back. I live over 2200 miles from my family home and never do I even consider going back.
     
  3. Metal Chaos

    Metal Chaos The Spark of Chaos

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    Aaaaand I just got evicted. Manager told me to pack up and get out.
     
  4. GW_Freak

    GW_Freak Banned

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    He can tell you but you don't have to leave. YOu have so many days after he FILES with the court for it. Either 30 or 60 days.
     
  5. rattrap007

    rattrap007 Insert witty comment here TFW2005 Supporter

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    Yup they have to give you a few weeks notice before they can evict. (See People's Court and Judge Judy can teach you stuff)
     
  6. GavynN.X.

    GavynN.X. I want AM thundercracker

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    Having read through that, I hope you can fulfil your dream in the near future. Life is difficult and sometimes we just have to take control and push ourselves in a new direction.

    America is a free country after all, is it not?

    I'm sort of teh opposite. My education cost my parents the family home, I'm trying to make a new life in America, but my job is not paying me as much as I think I'm worth (paying fresh grads same as a person with 3 yr experience and degree from "top" school), and I'm looking to find a Green Card sponsor, as well as save enough for downpayment on a condo or even townhouse.
     
  7. Metal Chaos

    Metal Chaos The Spark of Chaos

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    they can kick me out instantly my name wasnt on the lease
     
  8. GW_Freak

    GW_Freak Banned

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    In some states that's the official state affectionate action...

    What's changed since this thread?


    What happened to the Canada Pipedream? Did you change to California now?! Trust me, if you are poor or starting out California is LAST place you wanna go.


    You weren't evicted, you were removed for being an illegal occupant. Most leasing companies and property management companies frown upon couch surfing longterm and subletting. Just hope you don't get whomever you were staying with evicted too...
     
  9. Metal Chaos

    Metal Chaos The Spark of Chaos

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    canada is too far away and too much red tape to become a citizen. im a find a place to stay, if i can, then save up for cali
     
  10. GW_Freak

    GW_Freak Banned

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    Ask Bestbuy for a Fridge box...
     
  11. Metal Chaos

    Metal Chaos The Spark of Chaos

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    can you never post again, you're the least helpful person in existence. thank you
     
  12. GW_Freak

    GW_Freak Banned

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    Seattle forbid I don't sugar coat things and actually give you practical advice.

    I didn't suggest you join the army...
     
  13. Hobbes-timus Prime

    Hobbes-timus Prime Well-Known Member

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  14. Creaky

    Creaky King of Puppies

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    Having read your post, I think I can sympathise. My parents are... difficult. (Although for different reasons.) If you're seriously wanting to go, my advice would be to make a plan before you do anything. You've got the internet, the most powerful tool in the history of the world, at your disposal. Research, take time, endure. Then, in the end, if it's too much - go. I would have years ago but for that my parents treat me weird because they care about me, and I don't want to cause more hurt.

    If you understand and know what you're heading into, then you should be okay, whatever you do with your life.

    :) 
     
  15. GW_Freak

    GW_Freak Banned

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    Don't most hostel's require you to show proof that you are a traveller and most require you to be from so many hundreds of miles away?! Also, they cost money and are notoriously bad places to have personal belongings laying about.

    And of course:

    [​IMG]
     
  16. Obvious Prime

    Obvious Prime Purple Repaint

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    I disagree. GW_Freak helped me save 25% on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
     
  17. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Your continued failure to take personal responsibility for the situation you're in, either through a refusal or inability to do so, mean that things are simply going to get worse until you take it upon yourself to change your environment.

    Stop looking for external solutions to your trainwreck of a life, and start making internal adjustments. Your family, if you're being completely honest, is obviously no help, but you can move on without completely severing ties with them--but stop allowing them to dictate to you, which means you have to stop depending on them to provide shelter, money, etc.

    Get a job, and SAVE EVERY DIME YOU CAN. That means no luxuries whatsoever to include PC and internet except at public libraries. Use that money to build a nest egg and relocate to...I guess California to learn how to surf, which, by the way, is a ridiculous and immature plan, but if that's what you want, more power to you.

    If you have no debt, which you haven't mentioned, you're not doing as bad as you could be. But you are TWENTY TWO years old. Stop complaining and start doing what you know good and damn well you need to do to change your life.
     
  18. Omnius

    Omnius Well-Known Member

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    Yeah but have you seen the rent on those things??
     
  19. Dirge121

    Dirge121 Eat the chikums

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    I'll admit right now that I just skimmed the first post. With that in mind.

    Have you debated joining up with, or at the very least looking into the army?

    I mean, it sounds like you dont have anything tying you down, so why not go for that fresh start? You arent realistically going to have your dream land in your lap.
    Hell, do a couple tours of duty, and you'll have set yourself up with a decent fund. You'll have somewhere to live.

    At the very least, its better than nothing, right?
     
  20. GW_Freak

    GW_Freak Banned

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    Bloody brilliant and sound advice.
     
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