Found this TF Christmas related poem on E-bay

Discussion in 'Transformers General Discussion' started by Junior, Dec 19, 2007.

  1. Junior

    Junior Wise Beyond My Years TFW2005 Supporter

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    I found a poem on e-bay that was pretty funny but needed a few changes, IMO. I made my changes and posted it here for others to enjoy. If you can do better, make some changes and share it with your friends.



    T’was the Night before Christmas (Transformers)

    'Twas the month before Christmas, when all through the land
    Parents were frantic, hunting their kid’s demands;
    Some moms were smart and had not a care,
    Shopping early and knowing- the top toys would be there;

    Others lay awake, stressing in their beds,
    While visions of Optimus Prime danced in their heads;
    The one gift requested on Santa’s lap,
    Caused frenzied searching and no time to nap,
    Midnight trips to Walmart while shopping carts clatter,
    Hours of Internet searching seemed not to matter.


    Pay double on Ebay, money gone in a flash,
    Or line up outside a store and make a mad dash.

    The quest for the perfect type Prime
    Gave the luster of craziness to a mom’s once sane mind,
    When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
    But one version of the toy her son held so dear,
    With a shaking hand and a VISA, so lively and quick,
    She grabbed the Optimus Prime for a price that made her quite sick .

    More rapid than eagles other Primes they came,
    And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
    "Now, CyperStompin’! now, Voyager! now, Classic Edition!
    On, Leader Class! on Fast Action! on, Voice Changer mission!
    Into the cart! Into the mall!
    All my cash away! cash away! cash away all!"


    As reality set in and Christmas grew near,
    Mom realized what was spent makes husbands drink lots of beer,
    So she took out the toys to narrow to a few,
    With a closet full of Optimus Primes, and some other toys too.

    And then, in a moment, she saw the whole stash
    And realized what she did in her mad, mad shopping dash.
    But she knew that in stores there were no more,
    Sold out everywhere before your butt reached the door.


    Hoping to help some other parent give their son a thrill,
    She put a Prime on Ebay to cover her Discover card bill;
    A bundle of toys she still had to wrap,
    And all she really wanted was a long silent nap.

    Her eyes – oh the dark circles! her face how weary!
    Her cheeks were so pale, her makeup so smeary!
    Her back, sore from dishes, laundry, and every chore
    And her head ached from thinking about baking one cookie more;
    The contents of baby’s breakfast she held on her shirt,
    And the stench from the diapers, the worst on the Earth;
    She had a tired face and a post-baby belly,
    That shook, when she yelled, like a bowlful of jelly.

    She was stressed out and tired, concerned about her health
    Years of kids and housekeeping; nearly ruined this MILF.
    With swipes of her credit card and pains in her head,
    she quickly realized there’d be some bills to dread;

    She spoke not a word, her husband still at work,
    Quickly listing the extra toys on Ebay; pushing “enter” with a jerk,
    And laying her finger upon that mouse,
    she found another desperate mom not far from her house.

    She sprang to the Post Office, and Priority shipped,
    And went back to her mini-van feeling totally whipped.

    But I heard her exclaim, as she drove out of sight,

    "Is Christmas over yet? I need a drink tonight."
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2007
  2. Grimlocka go-go

    Grimlocka go-go Back from the Dead TFW2005 Supporter

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    Ebay:
    lol now that's funny
     
  3. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP Dry built

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    That was frikkin' fantastic. Do you have the link to the ebay auction?
     
  4. Johnator

    Johnator 'Til All Are Gone!

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    Good stuff.
     
  5. Phorpus

    Phorpus RHco.

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    This is begging to be animated or made into a storybook.
     
  6. Junior

    Junior Wise Beyond My Years TFW2005 Supporter

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