Financial question for the married people

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by MegaMoonMan, Nov 17, 2008.

  1. MegaMoonMan

    MegaMoonMan www.megamoonman.com TFW2005 Supporter

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    For those members that are married - how many of you have exclusively joint accounts with your spouse?

    My wife keeps telling me we need a joint account, and I don't disagree with that in the least - but she says every penny we make should go into it. I have no problem with putting a large percentage of our income into one, but that's not good enough for her.

    I feel like I should mention that I make more than her, and my credit is far better than hers (we just bought a house on my credit alone). She acts like we don't have enough to pay the bills and she's hurting for cash - but the bills always get paid and I never deny her anything she needs that she needs help with paying for.

    She keeps saying we are married now, so everything we have is OURS - including the income. When she says that, it sounds more to me like she may as well be saying "Everything you have is mine, and everything I have is mine". It also feels like she's only doing it to keep tabs on MY spending, and reserve the right to bitch about anything I spend money on.

    Am I wrong to want even a small amount of financial privacy in the marriage?
     
  2. jourdo

    jourdo TFW2005 Supporter

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    We've had a joint account since we married. It is just easier for us to have all the cash in one place, and all the bills coming out of one place. This works for us, but I can understand the desire to have your own account as well.
     
  3. Omegatron

    Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

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    There was very little discussion for us- we didn't have that much saved up when we got married, anyway. One joint account has worked fine. Why do you want to have the separate account?
     
  4. ANDROID PRIME

    ANDROID PRIME Well-Known Member

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    Im not married yet but its comming soon. we have two sperate acounts and just divide the bills between us. but we each take a chuck of our income a week and put it aside for big purchases like vactions and our upcomming wedding.
     
  5. Darkravager

    Darkravager Zombie Hunter

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    My wife and I have separate accounts that are linked. For instance, when I get onto our online banking site, I can look at her account and she can look at mine, and we can move money between the two. I guess you could say we kinda took the middle ground.
     
  6. funkatron101

    funkatron101 TFW2005 Supporter

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    If you want to control her spending than join accounts. Otherwise it is way better to keep them separate.

    As long as everything is getting paid, and you guys are working towards the same goal, than there is no point to combining them.
     
  7. MegaMoonMan

    MegaMoonMan www.megamoonman.com TFW2005 Supporter

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    Just a little privacy is all. Not for anything bad or illicit - just a little room to breath and not get asked 100 questions and criticized about, which is EXACTLY what would happen if we did it all jointly.

    A small amount of privacy is important to me in all things - and she doesn't like, understand, or accept that.
     
  8. Elvin Pena

    Elvin Pena <b><font color=red>CyberCon is #1!</font></b> Veteran

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    Same here. Neither one of us is possessive and we allow each other the occasional "treat", so it's no big deal.
     
  9. Hobbes-timus Prime

    Hobbes-timus Prime Well-Known Member

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    My wife and I only have the one joint account. We don't talk about how much money "I" have or "she" has. There's only how much money "we" have.

    Can "we" afford to go out to eat, can "we" afford this Transformer, can "we" afford a new car, how is "our" credit, etc.

    Seems to work out just fine.
     
  10. Paladine

    Paladine Well-Known Member

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    I have a similar situation. It's been working well so far.
     
  11. MegaPrime33

    MegaPrime33 Follow me @NerdActivist TFW2005 Supporter

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    My wife and I have a joint savings acct, and we opened an acct for my daughter, to which we both have access to. We both have separate checking. It's good and it's bad, its good for as you say privacy, but its bad as in I have to transfer money every time she needs it.
     
  12. funkatron101

    funkatron101 TFW2005 Supporter

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    Wel, you don't want to be fighting about who spent what when. Or if one person isn't pulling their own weight.

    The only reason why I have a joint account with my wife is because she asked me to keep track of her spending. It was just easier for me to combine them for that. But if she hadn't asked me, I would have kept them separate.

    However one thing you should keep in mind is that perhaps the financial split isn't as even as you think it is. She makes less, but she could also be the one buying more household items, groceries, etc. It's easy to forget that, and when it is a few items here and there it doesn't seem like a big deal. But come the end of the month you may find that she has taken twice as many trips to the grocery store. With her income, that might make things tight.

    Perhaps it is best to have one joint checking account and two separate savings accounts?
     
  13. Trailbreaker77

    Trailbreaker77 Veteran TFW2005 Supporter

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    Married & a joint account here just make life easier on me. Yes I have been making most if not all the income, but recently due to the economic issues she has gotten a temp. job. She is not a big spender it is mostly me but if she wants something she just gets it. Everyone situation is different if it works for you then stick with it. "If it's not broke don't fix it" best advice I can give.
     
  14. Foster

    Foster Super Mod

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    [​IMG]
     
  15. funkatron101

    funkatron101 TFW2005 Supporter

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    George is about to lay down the law!
     
  16. slugslinger2004

    slugslinger2004 TFW2005 Supporter

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    My fiance keeps saying we should do the same when we get married. I kinda think we should put a large portion in a joint account and we each keep some aside for our separate spending money (ie going to lunch or whatever.) I can see the pros and cons from both ends but I'm still not sure.
     
  17. godsenddeath

    godsenddeath . TFW2005 Supporter

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    Nope. If this is robot related, it seems a little late for her to start raising objections *after* the two of you got married.
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2008
  18. joshua

    joshua Well-Known Member

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    i try to keep cash on me for toy purchases.
     
  19. sharke

    sharke canadian piece of sh*t

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    joint all the way....then again my wife is actually pretty laid back and I'm free to spend on what I need/want w/ little hassle. though I do see the privacy issue, it's just a hell of a lot easier for me.
     
  20. Gort

    Gort Klaatu barada nikto TFW2005 Supporter

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    We have never had anything but a joint account. Frankly, separate accounts and fighting over who makes what seems like a recipe for disaster. It seems like a refusal to commit fully to the the relationship. Money, debt and possessions in a marriage belong to both parties regardless of who "created" them.

    That said, it is not wrong to have some money to spend on themselves once financial obligations are met. It should all be part of an agreed upon budget. Not having a budget is also a recipe for disaster or at least debt.

    Those are just my opinions - no offense to anyone who has different arrangements that work out just fine for them.
     

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