Fan Fiction idea - Requesting Feedback

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by SaberPrime, Apr 17, 2010.

  1. SaberPrime

    SaberPrime Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2010
    Posts:
    4,582
    Trophy Points:
    167
    Likes:
    +23
    This is just an idea I've been toying with. I created the characters and I have a general idea of what the story line will be like but I think I need some feed back from other fans.

    Please note that this is all placed in a new TF Universe. The characters are very VERY loosely based on characters from exsisting universes.

    Basic plot: Takes place on Cybertron. There is no war on Cybertron at the start of the series and the only Decepticons are just a few small gang type groups rather than a vast army. Autobots are civilians and a group called the "Primes" who are called as such because of the title they all share, play the role of police officers.

    There is a "Book of Primus" which is missing text and very few people seriously believe in it but it is the basis of laws and ideas the Primes uphold rather than a ligitimate religion. All of the Primes get their titles from the Primes described in the book of Primus. Decepticons also take on faulse identites from the Book of Primus, useing the names of Unicron's followers described in the book. The war will eventually start because of the Book of Primus. More on this later

    Aside from showing the start of the war I also wanted something to show Megatron's rise to power rather than instantly starting him as the main villain. As such his name is Megatron Prime and will only take his rightfull place as leader of the Decepticons some time after the war starts. The other leaders to come before him will be described later.

    Optimus Prime, rather than being the leader of all Autobots is basically the head leader of the Primes. He will eventually be the leader durring the war as well. Sense they use names of other characters from the book of Primus Optimus Prime is actully not his actual name, it's just a job title. Off duity characters would still refer to him as Orian Pax. Some characters will never be identified as anything other than their "work name" as they are the few who actully believe that Primus and Unicron are real.

    So already I think it's a preddy complex and interesting story line. This is only the basic idea of it but you can kinda pick up where all the plot twists are going to come in. And now here's a basic cast list. (keep in mind as everyone takes their names from seperate characters in the Book of Primus you're going to see names repeated.) These are the main characters not includeing civilians who could be any other transformers not yet listed.

    The original Primes created by Primus:

    Optimus Prime: Leader of the Primes, the first Matrix barrier before the Matrix itself was lost in the original war between Primus and Unicron.

    Omega Prime: Second in command. Omega Prime almost got the Matrix before Optimus however Omega Prime was long believed to turn traitor though he never did. Him and Optimus never really saw eye to eye but they did agree one thing, Unicron must be stopped, no matter the cost.

    Rodimus Prime: The book of Primus describes Rodimus as the last and youngest of Primus' creations. He was the second Matrix Barrier after the death of Optimus Prime and the war ended a mear 17 years after he became leader however he was also responsible for the loss of the Matrix.

    Vector Prime: The book of Primus is unclear about how old Vector Prime really is. Because of this some people think he's some kind of time Traveler. Others believe he just doesn't age. The truth is that he was a time traveler but the missing pages of the book leave out details that describe how he was killed and his power was stolen by a traitor.

    Primal Prime: Primal Prime was described as an accidential creation of the Matrix rather than of Primus himself. Some time after the original war ended an alien life form crashed on Cybertron. Rodimus Prime tried to use the Matrix to figure out how to communicate with the alien and ended up fuseing the power of the Matrix with the alien. The alien being Organic took on the same form that all Transformers shared at that time and turned out to be friendly.

    Primus: This robot God constantly at war with his brother Unicron realized that they were too equilly matched. It was Primus who came up with the idea to create other life, to see who's creations were stronger and Unicron agreed on one condition. However the book of Primus lost the text to exsplain what that condition was. As it turns out though Primus had to provide the battle ground and he became the planet Cybertron. Primus wasn't going to remain defenseless though and Unicron also had to form himself into a Planet.

    Sentinal Prime: An even bigger jerk than Omega Prime but without the desire to hold the Matrix. Like Omega Prime, Sentinal was believed to turn traitor but he never had.

    Longarm Prime: Longarm Prime was created by Primus as a Watcher whos job it was to report on potential traitors who would join the Decepticons.

    The original Decepticons created by Unicron.

    Cyclonus: Cyclonus is the first leader of the original Decepticons but not a very good leader.

    Scourge: Cyclonus' only supporter for leadership as other Decepticons fight over who would be more qualified than Cyclonus.

    Soundwave: This original Soundwave creation by Unicron puts a new meaning to the phraise "my ears are burning" as he was capable of produceing sound which could actully make you feel as if your ears were on fire.

    Unicron: This Robot Demon is brother and tormentor to Primus. When Primus thought of the idea to create other life to fight their war for them Unicron laughed, agreed, and made Primus form into their battle ground. Other missing text fails to show that Primus also made Unicron agree to form a planet as well however Primus had to maintain a consist orbit around a sun in order to provide homes for the new life forms. He had forgot to make sure Unicron was restricted to a maintained orbit as well. Unicron agreed to form into a planet, created his people, placed them on Cybertron then flew off into space only saying that "I'll be back to see how the war is progressing."

    Tarantulas: When Unicron left the first time he had eaten a few organic planets before returning to see how the war was going. After 5 years he returned and created some new troops out of the material he had gathered from other planets. As metal blended with organic tissue Tarantulas was born as the first Spawn of Unicron.

    Tripredacus: Thinking it was just a mistake Unicron tried again creating yet another Spawn, Tripredacus. After the birth of these creatures Unicron never made another technorganic again and stayed clear of contact with Organic Planets.

    The original Traitors, creations of Primus and Unicron who fell off the path that was set for them.

    Megatron Prime/Galvatron: The book of Primus with it's missing pages describe Megatron Prime and Galvatron as two different Transformers however the actual story behind them is that Megatron Prime, unlike Omega Prime was actully willing to do anything for power. As such durring one of Unicron's visits he placed Megatron in command of his people renameing him Galvatron.

    Sideways/Nemesis Prime: Originally called Sideways and Created by Unicron, this Decepticon turned coward refused to fight in the war. The Decepticons used him in battle anyway, as a shield. Sideways had an amazing ability to pull himself back togeather after even the most brutal attacks but he was afraid of the pain caused by the attacks that would kill any other bot. He went to the Primes for protection but they had a hard time believing that his story was true. Primus himself over ruled Optimus Prime's choice to ban him and welcomed him into the group as a Prime. As a comprimise to this choice Optimus dubed him to be Nemesis Prime, Nemesis so that all would remember that he was a Decepticon and Herold of Unicron.

    Fallen Prime: Originally created by Primus, Fallen Prime not only wanted power but had the means to get it as well. Omega, Sentinel, Megatron, and Fallen were all offered positions of power by Unicron. Omega and Sentinel of course refused but Megatron and Fallen accpted. The Decepticons were allready unhappy with their current leader and the would of never accepted an Autobot into their ranks let alone as their leader. Megatron got the job as he was willing to change his identity while the Fallen became a loner and fought for Unicron on his own, stealing the powers of his brothers. As the last survivor of the wars it's unclear if he gained Vector Prime's time travel, Nemesis Prime's regeneration, or both but it's the only exsplinations for how the original Fallen eventually becomes leader of the present day Decepticons. The Fallen holds the only undamaged copy of the Book of Primus as his proof that he is the original Fallen and not just someone useing the name.

    Present day Autobot Primes.

    Orian Pax/Optimus Prime: The main hero of the story. He starts off as a modest but high ranking officer. Running gag being that he constantly has to remind other characters that Optimus Prime is only a job title and not his real name. When it comes down to buisness though, Optimus Prime is the same character we all know and love.

    Ultra Magnus/Omega Prime: Ultra Magnus much like Orian Pax does not like to be called by his job title but for a much different reason. Unlike the original Omega Prime described in the book of Primus who hated Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus and Orian Pax are best friends. He was granted the title only as a second in command status, not based on personality.

    Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime: This young cadet would start off the series as a civilian character who Optimus Prime is trying to recruit. He's a rather young, hot headed, and somewhat misguided young Autobot who Optimus thinks has potential to do good if trained how. He is eventually forced to go threw boot camp just before the war starts and lucky him, is granted the title of Rodimus Prime just before being thrown into war.

    Alpha Trion/Vector Prime: Alpha Trion was the Prime who trained Orian Pax and Omega Prime. He retired after graduating Optimus Prime from the accadimy and lives as a civilian untill he's called out of retirement when the war starts.

    Primal Prime: At some point in the series a ship lands on Cybertron with 5 passengers on board. A pilot and 4 Prisoners. The Pilot identifies himself as Primal Prime and claims he was sent by Sentinel Prime to capture these criminals on another planet. Medbots have examined him and determined that some of his ciruits have been damaged durring his time on the organic planet as well as his 4 prisoners. It seems in order to survive there they had to scan organic alt modes but non of them can remember what their real names are and Sentinel Prime claims to have no knowlage of ever sending anyone out on a mission like that. Primal Prime is the only known Maximal.

    Minor Magnus/Sentinel Prime: As the name would sugest, Minor is Ultra Magnus' little brother. Ultra Magnus was part of the last class trained by Vector Prime. Minor Magnus ended up being trained by his own brother. In accordance with his own name and the sheer shock that his brother not only joined but passed accadimy training he gave his brother the name omen to to his own, that being Sentinel Prime. Primal Prime claims to know Sentinel Prime from the accadimy and was sent on his missing shortly after graduation. They were apperently friends durring that time but Sentinel claims to have no memory of it. In reality though Sentinel does remember he lost a friend over an organic planet and left him for dead not wanting to believe that his once good friend is now a technorganic gorilla, he's chosen to act like it never happened.

    Present day Decepticons and Predacons.

    Starscream/Cyclonus: The leader of a gang known as the Decepticons. They pose no real threat, they're just petty criminals but hey Starscream is leader for once. They use aliases from the book of Primus partly to hide their true identies when they talk over open communication lines, and partly to make fun of the Primes. In this case however rather than being given names by higher ranking officers, they just choose their own names. Starscream choose the only leader of the original Decepticons that was actully created by Unicron.

    Bombshell/Scourge: Bombshell choose the name Scourge when he followed Starscream but he's not really as loyal as the original Scourge. He never bothers to change his name but Bombshell will bindly follow whoever shouts "I am leader now." He's just an idiot. His lack of individual thought is made up for in power. Bombshell has a laser mounted on his head, and cannons loaded with nuclear weapons for arms. Who needs hands when you can blow stuff up. Though it would help if he had the inteligence to use this power on his own.

    Soundwave: One of few Decepticons that actully believes in the Book of Primus. Starscream thinks he's crazy but keeps him around for amusment. The Fallen however knows the potential power of a good sound attack and teaches him to use it. As it turns out though Soundwave is an old friend of Megatron who went crazy and thought he was the original Soundwave.

    Tarantulas: One of the 4 Prisoners Primal Prime brought back with him. Tarantulas is the leader of the Predacons. He actully suffered the least amout of damage out of the 5 of them as his IQ is still fairly high but it's possible he has the highest IQ of the 5 to begin with because even he can't remember his original name. Because of his inteligence and because Cybertronians don't understand Organics, he's considered to be a higher threat than Starscream however they're about equil. Starscream has power but no brains to use it, Tarantual has brains but no power to back it up.

    Ramhorn: Ramhorn forms the arms of Tripredacus. He's strong for a half organic but non too bright.

    Seaclamp: Seaclamp forms the legs of Tripredacus. Back on the organic planet they got their alt modes from which was mostly covered in water Seaclamp was the most powerful in the group but back on Cybertron, there aren't many places a Predacon can be usefull when his alt mode is a lobster. His laws are amazingly powefull for someone who is half organic but that's all he has left of his power. Alot of his schemes include wanting to flood Cybertron in oil, gas, or other mechanical liquids.

    Cicadacon: Cicadacon forms the upper torso of Tripredacus. Despite the name, he's actully more like Waspinator is in BW not just in slap stick like I described Sideways but allso in his speach patterns an inability to pronounce his own name properly. (Wazpinator rather than Waspinator.) This is partly to poke fun at my own exspence as I have no idea how Cicadacon is pronounce so the character would end up saying Kick-ad-A-con.

    Tripredacus: The combined form of the 3 Predacons. It's not clear where the 3 individuals got their names from as the original Tripredacus was not a gestalt but this one is. The combined Tripredacus has a hard time seperating into his 3 componants after combining because of the fact he thinks he's the original Tripredacus and doesn't know he's a Gestalt. As a Gestalt his only transformation is back to his 3 componats as he can only exsist as a robot. This means he seperates by trying to transform into a techno-organic tank which was the alt mode of the original Tripredacus.

    Present day traitors and spys.

    Megatron Prime/Galvatron: Megatron Prime graduated in the same class as Optimus and Omega however unlike them he celibrated his graduation by burning all the records of who he was before he became a Prime. It was long known he would do this as he said he would on his first day in training. As such he was named Megatron Prime. They knew little about who the original Megatron actully was. Durring the second season of the series Fallen and Megatron would have a Palpatine Anikin type relationship going untill Megatron leaned the truth about the original Megatron. Following in his foot steps he dawns the Decepticon crown originaly worn by Starscream and changes his name to Galvatron. (The crown is to give him a Galvatron homeage without actully upgradeing him in any way.) Galvatron then kills the Fallen to take his rightful place as leader.

    Shockwave/Longarm Prime: While the original Longarm Prime was created to report on traitors Longarm Prime was placed into the ranks of the Primes to report on their plans. Shockwave is a creation of Soundwave who under Galvatron's orders was sent to join the Autobots. They suspected nothing and eventually, and ironicaly, granted him the title of Longarm Prime.

    Sideways/Nemesis Prime: Sideways was originally a gangster with a tough biker additude who worked for Starscream. He suffered from dillusions that he was the real Sideways and that the description of him in the book of Primus was all lies. So he fights to protect the name of a coward. When Fallen takes over he lies for a while letting Sideways believe he is the real deal and the book lies. After Sideways reads the Fallen's copy however he finds out it's all true and then changes his character to be more like the original except when he runs to the Autobots he introduces himself as Nemesis Prime thinking he's allready been given that name and they make him go threw training, TWICE, passing both times before they allow him to officially use the title of Nemesis Prime.

    Questions, comments, anyone like the concept?
     
  2. cybertron2006

    cybertron2006 Fly By Clockwork Pictures

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2006
    Posts:
    1,382
    Trophy Points:
    161
    Likes:
    +0
    Dayum.
     
  3. SaberPrime

    SaberPrime Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2010
    Posts:
    4,582
    Trophy Points:
    167
    Likes:
    +23
    I've got pictures of the characters I described earlier and I was going to post them in the fan art section but I'm getting an error saying there's no files attached. :p 

    For some reason I can upload the pictures here but not in the Fan Art section. So I'm going to upload them in 3 parts.

    Part 1: Gods

    Part 2: Fallen Clones

    Part 3: Main cast

    Primus is obviously a repaint of Cybertron Primus based on the coloring of War Within Primus

    Unicron is recolored based on the coloring of BW Neo Unicron.
     
  4. SaberPrime

    SaberPrime Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2010
    Posts:
    4,582
    Trophy Points:
    167
    Likes:
    +23
    So here's the story behind the Fallen Clones...

    When I first thought of this idea I wasn't even going to have Primus and Unicron. The book of Primus was just going to be fictional. This was before I saw ROTF and realized that the Fallen is a Prime so I had to add him to my story.

    Originally I would of never designed what the original characters would of looked like because they were never supose to exsist but after some changes, because in the movie the 7 Primes all look like the Fallen with some slightly different molding. I desided to do the same thing but give them all the same mold and different coloring. So each of the Fallen Clones has a different paint job bases on the character they are ment to represent. The Fallen himself as he has no other name sakes I just repainted how I think he should look. Fallen was allready an awsome character and I think I made him more awsome.

    Of course I hate the movie design and went with his War Within design. Can anyone guess who they're suppose to be just by the color scemes?

    I have no idea why they don't glow at the same time. They're all timed the same.
     
  5. SaberPrime

    SaberPrime Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2010
    Posts:
    4,582
    Trophy Points:
    167
    Likes:
    +23
    Now these guys are some major remolds. They all used the Masterpiece Optimus Prime design as the base but most of them are now unrecognizable.

    Orian Pax/Optimus Prime: I actully own the Masterpiece Prime and was fooling around with the vehicle mode to see how I could get him to transform differently for a cybertronian vehicle. What I came up with inspired this design. His arms become cannons hence the reason why his lower arms are rounded. I replaced his wheels with tank treds. And the coloring of his *cough*crotch*cough* area is actully the coloring of his *cough*butt*cough* I should get that cough checked. The grill I remolded to look like the back part of the actual grill on the toy and the rest was just me trying to get as creative as possible.

    Ultra Magnus/Omega Prime: Obviously is loosely based on the R.I.D. Omega Prime though this version is a single character not a combined form with Optimus. The transformation is exactly the same as the Masterpiece Prime toy.

    Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime: This is my own design for a Rodimus Prime. I allways kinda wandered why a car like that needs wheels so I designed this guy as a hovor car. His chest folds up to form the hood of the car and hide his head. The arms fold in to take the space where his chest was. Fists retract into his wrists. The pipes on his arms would meet with the ones on his legs and push the legs in so they connect. Lower legs open up to fold the feet away and move the spoiler to the back of the car.

    Alpha Trion/Vector Prime: I worked hard as heck to make this look like Vector Prime and I don't even know how he transforms so I did not take many creative libertys with this redesign.

    Primal Prime: Simplest Transformation EVER! Push the legs in to hide the blue upper legs. Open wrists to flip his fists. (simular to TM Primal) And the hardest part about it is the head. Open up the pannel on his back. Pull up his chest plate to pull out his beast head. Pull out the front chest pannel. Fold away the back pannel. Fold the robot head and shoulder cannon assembly back. Then you can put his beast head in place.

    Minor Magnus/Sentinel Prime: With the acception of turning his legs around so his treds are the right side he transforms the same as Optimus Prime's original toy. His front shouvel hides the slots where his arms fold in. Loosely based on Animated Sentinel Prime. Even though I gave him a more triditional head remolding him from Alternater Smokescrean's head, he still managed to have a large chin.

    Megatron Prime/Galvatron: Galvatron's crown is based on Starscream's from the original movie. Just colored it black so it'd look better on Megatron's head and give him more of a Galvatron look than the original gold color. I didn't want him to be an actual upgrade just a name change when he switches sides so I based the mold on a cross between Animated and Energon Megatron. He would have the Animated cockpit and the canon would still be able to cover his head. His arms would transform the same way as Animated and legs the same as Energon.

    Shockwave/Longarm Prime: Though his robot mode is based on G1 Shockwave the vehicle mode is a Cybertronian crane vehicle. Rather than a wrecking ball which no crane ever seems to have, I imagine that a Cybertronian version would just have some some sort of laser weapon. As such the transformation involves turning his legs sidewise so they meet in the back and pushing them in to hide the white upper legs. The feet would just fold forward into a nose cone. (It's my cybertronian vehicle so don't post about how cranes don't have nose cones. :p ) The chest plate and head would fold up and sence he has no face his head could easily look like a thruster. The arms would then be able to fold forward to fill the space where the chest plate was. The fist would fold away turning that arm into a sort of cockpit even though cockpits really don't make sense on Cybertron. The other arm would of course be the crane arm.

    Starscream/Cyclonus: The crown gives him a little bit more of a Cyclonus look. The mold is based on the Delux Jetstorm. It's not one of my favorites, I basically just made all the yellow bits of Jetstorm red and gave him a different head and hands. I kinda feel like he should have more red, he kinda looks more like Thundercracker than Starscream.

    Bombshell/Scourge: Loosly based on BM Obsidian. Transformation is the same except for a slight difference in the head. Still goes to the same spot in vehicle mode but stays right side up so that the weapon on his helmet is exsposed in vehicle mode but not his entire head. Just like the toy he has no hands, just missle lanchers where his hands should be. The color scheme is a mix of G1 Bombshell and show accurate Obsidian. His head I think kinda looks like fallen but he has G1 Bombshell's face and Scourge's helmet.

    Soundwave: Like Vector prime I have no idea how he transforms so I took very little creative liberty when basing him on Cybertron Soundwave.

    Tarantulas: Chest plate folds up to hide his head. Arms fold in and legs fold up. Mainly based on TM Tarantulas.

    Ramhorn: Wanting to make him more like the original Ramhorn i changed his beast mode to a rhino. His best head is actully faceing backwards in robot mode, you can see his ears sticking up on the robot head. His head would simply fold up to hide the robot face, fist and feet would fold away and his rhino feet, like his head are allready faceing in the oppisite direction. The robot chest is the rhino's back. The coloring and head design are loosely based on the show version of the character rather than the toy.

    Seaclamp: His beast face is actully on the top of his helmet. His head can be pushed down just far enough to hide the robot face and also acts to unlock his beast legs folded up on his torso. Robot legs connect and push in to hide the grey upper legs and feet remain out to act as a fin. He is a lobster after all. Like Ramhorn his coloring and head design were loosely based on the show design rather than the toy.

    Cicadacon: Transformation is the same as Tarantulas. Like the other two the head design and coloring are loosely based on the show rather than the toy.

    Tripredacus: Ramhorn splits in half. His arms and legs fold into the chest. The fists flip out once the legs are folded up. Cicadacon's chest is actully made up of his beast head and Tripredacus' head, fold both up to get them out of the way. Then you transform him as normal except now you're going to fold his beast legs into his arms and twist the lower arms around then fold the beast head back down on top. While Seaclamp is in beast mode you can fold his arms into the legs position and twist his chest around. There will be a small rotating join far enough back to allow the rest of his body to attach onto Cicadacon's back.

    Sideways/Nemesis Prime: Based on a combination of Armada Sideways and BM Thrust. Transformation is the same as Delux Trust except that the head can retract into his body like Armada Sideways.

    BTW the coloring of the Fallen clones though based on these guys are not exact because I'm color blind and could not duplicate the glow effect properly by just coping the colors from these so I had to guess what they would look like.
     

Share This Page