Empathy.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by TheDemonDzko, Aug 5, 2010.

  1. TheDemonDzko

    TheDemonDzko °-{[●□●]}-° {Beep. Boop.)

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    So, empathy.
    Yeah so, sometimes when i'm just chilling about my house and then i'll just feel this wave of dread, and in that moment, I know that somebody has been hurt, or of something of the same magnitude.
    So my questions are; Who has it on these boards? Do you believe in it? What should you do in case of this feeling?

    - DZKO

    (Please no shining jokes guys.)
     
  2. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

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    Booze yourself until you fall asleep.
     
  3. Tyrannosaur

    Tyrannosaur 100% Sarcastic Saurian

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    Sometimes I get something similar. Best thing to do is to get it off your mind. Listen to music, watch a favorite movie. I usually sketch dinosaurs and various other science-fiction-related things or read a book. Or play Spore and expand my imagination :D  Will Wright, you're a frigging genius.

    If you get it frequently I suggest going to a doctor to look into it. Might have to take medication but it's not so bad at all. I take medication for my ADD and anxiety, I don't deal well under stress at school but damn it helps me alot. Seriously nearly all my grades shot up about 20 points and rarely do I get all A's on my report card :lol 
     
  4. Evil Dead

    Evil Dead Well-Known Member

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    I'm pretty empathic, but it's mostly only when other people around. If by chance I am by myself, I often opt for distractions. Movies and music and books work wonders. Puzzles and games are pretty good, too--anything that gets your mind to go someplace else; to concentrate on something other than this overwhelming wave of emotion.

    When it happens out in public, I usually try and focus on something else. I'll go to a happy place, if you will, where I'm able to fall out of reality and into my own mind. I'll be aware of where I'm at and the outside world, mind you--but at the same time it's almost as if I'm someplace safe. Sort of like taking your own personal space, and placing bricks all around it, where nothing else can get in. Sometimes this trick works and sometimes it doesn't. I wish there was some kind of 100% failsafe that worked all the time, though.

    At any rate, best of luck with such problems--I hope you find something that works for you and helps more often than not.
     
  5. Quantum_Penguin

    Quantum_Penguin Be seeing you...

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    I agree with what everyone else has said. See your GP, tell them about what you experience, and ask for suggestions about local psychiatrists or therapists you can try seeing. If it's a physiological thing, your GP might run tests or know something you can try to make it go away. If that takes care of it, great, but if not, go on your insurance provider's site and do a search for psychiatrists and therapists. Look them up to see what others say about them and make an appointment if one looks good.

    I'd also like to add that, going by my own experience with OCD, I've learned that anxiety like that is usually a false alarm. Of course, I have a lot more false alarms than most people.

    That doesn't mean, however, that the feeling is always baseless. Your unconscious mind may have picked up that something is amiss about your environment and it's worth it to be on guard when it happens. That response exists to keep you safe from threats. Basically, do what animals do in the wild and go quiet, listen and look for anything unusual, and if nothing presents itself, dismiss the feeling and carry on.

    The human brain is an extremely complex and sensitive organ that's chugging away at data even when you're distracted, so it shouldn't be surprising that it shows a kind of "prescience" when something's up.

    Of course, what most would call prescience or empathy, I'd call mindfulness. Meditation can foster mindfulness because it teaches you how to quiet your own mind and resist impulses, so that when you feel anxiety, or anger, or some other strong emotion, you can maintain composure and remain in control of your behavior. So you might try meditating after you feel the anxiety.

    Please be careful though, there's a lot of woo woos who teach meditation as just sitting cross-legged and chanting a mantra. There's a lot more to it than that. If it's advertised as "easy", run away, because quieting the mind is one of the hardest things to do and thinking it's easy is the sign of someone who hasn't put in the effort. And if they try to sell you crystals and magnets to help calm you, run away doubly fast. Even if such things worked, they would act as crutches getting in the way of you learning how to control your own mind.

    So, treat yourself right and be safe :thumb 
     
  6. Zerus

    Zerus Banned

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    I drown my empathy with alcohol.
    along with bouts of sadness.
     
  7. Dran0n

    Dran0n Junk male

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    1) I don't think I've ever felt this ... so no.

    2) Isn't just some anxiety thing? So I guess I believe in it (your feeling and empathy, these aren't fake).

    3) BOOZE.
     
  8. jorod74

    jorod74 Psycholagnist (Ret.)

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    considering that billions of people exist, the odds of more than one person suffers at least once in their life is pretty damn good, i don't think you have true empathy.

    it's like walking in the rain and telling us you have a wet feeling.

    true empathy is being tuned in to someone's emotional stresses.

    heck, i could tell you i feel aroused because someone is getting lucky right now.

    the point being is what you are feeling, it isn't a precise thing.

    My dad was in a Kitchen on Post at Ft. Rucker when he told his C-O that he knew his brother was gone.
    twenty minutes later, the guys in dress uniforms appeared to tell him that his brother was indeed killed.

    that, that is empathy.

    i just can't subscribe to the idea of having generalized feelings of pain or gloominess as being empathy.



     
  9. Dark_Convoy

    Dark_Convoy Old Bastard Veteran

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    Sounds more like you have a mood disorder. See a therapist.
     
  10. Bumblethumper

    Bumblethumper old misery guts

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    I think there may be some misconception here about what empathy is.

    It's not some mysterious psychic ability, just the understanding to see people's problems from their point of view. To feel for your fellow human.
     
  11. Moriarty

    Moriarty = ♀

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    It sounds like a severe anxiety disorder that manifests itself in worrying about others. As people have said, please see your GP and ask if there's anything that can be done. You don't have to go as far as seeing a psychiatrist, but a therapist is a good way to go - being taught CBT really helped my anxiety disorder. :]

    But, to answer your question - I couldn't sleep one night because I was terrified that my grandfather was going to die. He only had one lung thanks to childhood TB and he had caught an extremely bad cold whilst paying his respects to the fallen soldiers coming through our town (I live in Wootton Bassett). The next day we got a call saying he had died in his sleep at the same time that my worry had reached its peak. I'm more inclined to say that it was just common sense - he was an old man who was ill - but a small part of me was very calm because I "knew" it was going to happen. I miss him.
     
  12. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    Things that make you go hmmmmmm
     
  13. Leadfoot

    Leadfoot The Strongest.

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    Sometimes I'll feel a great disturbance in the force and not know what caused it, later to find out something effed up happened. However, something effed up is happening all the time, so it's just an anxiety disorder.
     
  14. Ziero

    Ziero TFW2005 Supporter

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    It's actually kinda both. But what the OP is feeling seems to be more anxiety then empathy over a certain specific instance.
     
  15. TheDemonDzko

    TheDemonDzko °-{[●□●]}-° {Beep. Boop.)

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    Well when I posted it, I was just feeling this random wave of dread, because to me empathy means feeling a strong emotion that somebody else is feeling. So when I posted, I was having this feeling, and it turns out one of my friends miscarried when I posted... but... yeah. I could just be crazy.
     
  16. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    Sounds like dehydration.
     
  17. Coeloptera

    Coeloptera Big, bad beetle-bot

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    Sometimes?

    "The total amount of suffering per year in the natural world is beyond all decent contemplation. During the minute it takes me to compose this sentence, thousands of animals are being eaten alive; others are running for their lives, whimpering with fear; others are being slowly devoured from within by rasping parasites; thousands of all kinds are dying of starvation, thirst and disease."

    -- Richard Dawkins, River Out of Eden

    If anyone could actually empathically experience the suffering of others they would never stop screaming.

    So this might be some sort of anxiety disorder. As stated by others, make an appointment.

    - Coeloptera
     
  18. Evil Dead

    Evil Dead Well-Known Member

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    I have anxiety (and depression) and empathy, and while the they can feed off of each other, for the most part they're seperate things for me.

    For instance, I go about trying to be a nice person, because I figure there's no point in being a jerk-face, really. But there's also a selfish motivation in the sense that I can't stand to hurt others, because it's very much like hurting myself. And so even when I'm around someone who deserves telling off, I'll let most things slide and most things slide, until I can't let them slide anymore. And then, I'm afraid to say, I become some kind of monster.

    I'm not a vindictive monster, by any means--or a dramatic or unrealistic one--just someone who slices at people with words in such a deep way, that it leaves them with their innard bits all over the floor. And I can't stand doing, this and I really hate doing this, and it's something I try and avoid like the plague.

    And the reason being is, I know what it's like to be scared and sad and lost and broken--and I hate that I can make others feel the same, regardless of how many warnings issued, or how much they just keep pushing and pushing and pushing. And so by hurting someone else, I end up hurting myself, because I get that wave of emotion x2. And then it leads to depression and anxiety, because I start to second-guess myself and wonder if I made an unfair judgement with an even more unfair response.

    And then I'll wonder if I've done this before. And then I'll be afraid that maybe I have. And then I'll get to the point where I don't want to be around anyone or anything, because I'm such a horrible person, who doesn't do anything but hurt others. And it's usually only a matter of time (sometimes a couple of days, sometimes a week, sometimes a month or a bit longer) before I realize such thinking is off and not quite right, and that perhaps I should try and tip-toe back into the lines of communication once more.

    And it's some kind of horrible cycle that's easy to fall into and more than a little difficult to get out of. And of course there's more to it than that, as empathy has several different interpretations based on various definitions and personal experiences and such. But the way I take it, it not only implies that you can feel what someone else is feeling, but also that you're exceptionally sensitive when it comes to relating to others.

    And with the anxiety bit, it comes from this overwhelming feeling of not wanting to interact with people out of the fear of hurting them in some kind of detrimental way. And so in my case, empathy and anxiety are different--but they definately do work together and go together and lead to all kinds of negative thoughts. Not always, mind you--but when things get out of control, that's how they tend to go. And so I think that maybe empathy is one of those things where it's a different experience for everyone.

    And I'm going to stop prattling now. :: scurries off ::
     
  19. Dropshot

    Dropshot Transform your destiny

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    Absoulely this, why on earth people comment on it as it's some sort of mind reading ability? Grab a damn dictionary and look it up.

    Empathy, which literally translates as in feeling, is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

    It's just being capable of slip onto someone else's shoes to understand how they feel and think.

    Being sensitive to other emotions and needs, not being a psychic
     
  20. Dropshot

    Dropshot Transform your destiny

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    Wrong, it is just being able to comprehend other people feelings and thoughts.
     

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