Eat THAT Boll.

Discussion in 'Video Games and Technology' started by Ra88, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. Ra88

    Ra88 Dutchman!

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    Please play this while reading the article. :D  http://youtube.com/watch?v=YwEMxYggoKQ

    http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=40961
     
  2. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP Dry built

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    Ouch. You think maybe three big-budget flops in a row are trying to tell him something?
     
  3. Ra88

    Ra88 Dutchman!

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    "No, because each of my movies are masterpieces of cinema, and those idiots online have NEVER seen any of my films, can't appreciate good movies and have no idea how much money I make off them."

    And yes, he seriously said that once in a rant (though a bit longer).
     
  4. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    I like to picture him in the dark, watching his movies over and over again while he nurses cheap German beers and sobs quietly.

    Then he hallucinates that an assistant enters the room to tell him that the set is ready for him.
     
  5. Big_Daddy

    Big_Daddy The. Balls. Will. Touch.<br><b><font color=blue>Bi

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    I own one of his movies on DVD. I tried throwing it away, but the next day it stood in the movie shelf again. Then I broke it into a thousand pieces and threw it out the window, but when I got back into the livingroom, the movie was whole again, playing in my DVD player. Then I tried boiling the disc in hot water, but it jumped out, bitchslapped me, and shorted out my computer. I put it in an envelope and sent it to Australia, only to find it in my shelf again when I got back from the post office. What should I do?
     
  6. DaggersRage

    DaggersRage Autistic bastard.

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    Bigpete, I'm no expert on this matter, but it looks like you have an evil force at work here, but dont misunderstand that the DVD case is the source of the evil. The evil is only using the DVD as it's avatar. The DVD is more of a symbol, a representation of evil you have in there.

    You'll have to find this evil and destroy it, despite popular belief, modern firearms work fine. I would check behind the TV. If you need to the TV to be safe, you can send it to me and I'll uhm... "check it out".
     
  7. flywheels

    flywheels Decepticon Assault Team Veteran

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    I made the mistake of seeing BloodRayne in the theatre...what was I thinking? Knowing Meat Loaf had a roll in the movie should've warned me the film would most likely suck hard.
     
  8. domientius

    domientius Well-Known Member

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    Only difference between Boll and Bay is 1 successful film. Reading quotes, you'd think they're the same guy. They also have a habit of sacrificing plot for explosions.

    Postal is reportedly bombing too... wonder if MAYBE it was a stupid idea to open it first in countries in which playing or owning copies of the Postal games is ILLEGAL?
     
  9. shibamura_prime

    shibamura_prime Jumpin' Jellyfish! Super Mod

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    NICE.

    Germany rocks again.
     
  10. CripNite

    CripNite That Whack Canuck Dude

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    Quoted for mis-truth.
     
  11. Ra88

    Ra88 Dutchman!

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    Bay is f***ing Hancock compared to Boll.
     
  12. Smasher

    Smasher HUNKY BEATS

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    Bay has only had one successful film? :crazy: 
    And yeah, I hate explosions in action movies.

    I think Uwe Boll is a complete oddity.
    He makes movies based on video games but he seems to have almost no knowledge of the source material.

    It's also curious how it seems as if he is trying to make his movies so awful they are unwatchable. I tried to watch Bloodrayne on Cinemax and couldn't last for more than 20 minutes.

    I didn't even realize Alone in the Dark was his movie until now.
    I watched about a half hour of it and turned it off.

    Seriously, it is like he sits in the editing chair and picks the worst takes of each scene.

    I can't believe Jason Stratham and John Rhys-Davies attached themselves to an Uwe Boll film. His films make Batman and Robin look like Citizen Kane.
     
  13. Vangelus

    Vangelus Long Live the New Flesh Moderator Content Contributor

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    His movies are waaaaay easier to watch if you turn his Uwe Boll Commentary on.

    Seriously.

    They become awesome comedies. :D 
     
  14. Bendimus Prime

    Bendimus Prime Rolls for initiative TFW2005 Supporter

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    No kidding. Even if you didn't like Transformers or Armageddon, how can people forget The Rock?
















    Or Poland? They're always forgetting Poland.


    EDIT:
    Actually, Meatloaf is the only reason I sat through that DVD.

    *Get's really sweaty and puts on period clothing*
    And I would do anything for love,
    I'd run right into hell and back,
    I would do anything for love,
    I'll never lie to you and that's a fact.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2008
  15. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Wow, THIS ISN'T TRUE!
     
  16. Vangelus

    Vangelus Long Live the New Flesh Moderator Content Contributor

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    The Bloodrayne commentary is superb because Boll is really excited about having actual actors there with him, and he's the only person in the room that's not blatantly drunk or high.
     
  17. Cruellock

    Cruellock Disney Villain

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    The Bloodrayne game was garbage to begin with. You can't exactly judge the movie since the source was pure trash.
     
  18. Vangelus

    Vangelus Long Live the New Flesh Moderator Content Contributor

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    Other Boll Commentary Gold:

    House of the Dead - The producers he's sitting with keep feeding him lines to get him to say really funny things.

    Alone in the Dark - Boll is all alone, and constantly mentioning that the noises you are hearing are his dogs as he took them for a walk before coming to the studio. A personal chuckle from this is that the moment I turned it on due to being bored by the actual film, Boll was declaring how House of the Dead wasn't his fault. :lol 
     
  19. drippy

    drippy is a freethinker.

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    Is the commentary on BloodRayne the one that he actually walks out of before the movie is over? Apparently it's the finale, the part of the movie where a director would typically have a lot to say, and he just leaves.
     
  20. Deefuzz

    Deefuzz Beard On! Beardmaster! Veteran

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    :lolol 
     

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