DTZ's old collection sale

Discussion in 'Items For Sale or Trade' started by Dark_T_Zeratul, Jun 1, 2015.

  1. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    (So sorry to interrupt such a festive occasion, but I am under strict instructions to arrest you. For murder.)
    (Murder?)

    Stop. Wait. What?
    Well I didn't kill Adelbert D'Ysquith
    Though that certainly was my intent
    Rather hard to digest that I could be arrested
    For something that I'd only meant
    And it couldn't be poor Cousin Asquith
    For he graciously died on his own
    Was that hole in the ice just a bit too precise?
    Was my presence in Chizzlemere known?

    (Murder, did you say?)
    (I'm afraid so, Your Lordship.)

    Stop. Wait. When?
    I should doubt I was seen at the harbor
    Lady Hyacinth fell in so fast
    As for Salome's end all suspicion would send
    Them at once to that backstabbing cast
    Did the bee stings reveal my deception?
    Was I seen at the weight lifting hall?
    How rude to intrude on this lovely reception
    For I am the earl, after all!
    Yes I am the earl, after all!
    Though it's come, I concede, at a cost
    But where was my blunder?
    My weakness, I wonder?
    Is all of it now to be lost?
    Is all of it now to be lost?

    (Murdering... whom?)
    (Lord Adelbert D'Ysquith, Eighth Earl of Highurst!)

    Stop. Wait. Who?
    For the murder of Adelbert D'Ysquith?
    Were there ever a farce this is it
    I am almost amused I should stand here accused
    Of a murder I didn't commit!

    (But surely, the Earl died of a heart attack.)
    (Nnnnno, Your Lordship, it WAS foul play.)

    Of course, I should like to inquire
    By what method he happened to die
    But more to the point what events now conspire
    To lead them to think it was I?
    I've dispatched half a dozen
    Each one a cousin
    All of them quite by design
    It is not a defense
    It just makes no sense!
    This murder was not one of mine!
     
  2. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    That horrible woman
    That contemptible girl
    (Countess Navarro?)
    Oh, make no mistake
    She's a venomous snake
    And she poisoned the earl!
    And Mister Navarros
    Was a pawn in her plan
    I have come here to save him
    He's an innocent man
    (Do you know what you're saying, Mrs. Holland?)
    He's an innocent man

    That horrible woman (Mrs. Holland?)
    Do not utter her name!
    You must tell the court
    How she poisoned the port
    And diverted the blame!
    Go and bring her to justice
    Just as fast as you can
    As I've told you, my husband
    Is an innocent man


    She seemed tense and alert
    From hors d'oeuvres to dessert
    Yet she flirted and batted her eyes at the men!
    Then she rose from her seat
    Then she reached for a sweet
    Every gesture was planned!
    Then
    Thinking no one would see
    No one saw her but me
    In a blink
    She put drops in his drink
    That's a quote
    From a letter she wrote
    In her very own hand!
    In her very own hand!

    That horrible woman!
    That miserable minx!
    That libidinous jinx!
    Every word is a lie!
    She's unspeakably sly!
    And I hear that she drinks!
    Surely Mister Navarro
    And so Monty, of course
    Was a pawn in her plan!
    He would not hurt a fly!
    He could not harm a flea!
    You cannot let him die!
    You must set the man free!
    For Montague D'Ysquith Navarro
    Is an innocent man!


    It was done out of greed!
    It was done out of spite!
    She wanted the title!
    She wanted revenge!
    And my husband, she knew
    And she didn't care who
    Would be hanged for the crime! (Dear lady!)
    She
    As I'm sure you can see
    She's a merciless
    Ravenous
    Man-eating
    Monstrous
    Assassin!
    A beast!
    Monty must be released!
    And there isn't much time!
    And there isn't much time!

    That horrible woman!
    That sinister wench!
    Pray you, do what is just!
    Stop the jury, you must
    Get a stay from the bench!
    In the name of King Edward
    We must do all we can!

    As the ending was changed
    When the nightengale sang

    Fate must be rearranged
    We must not let him hang!
    For Montague D'Ysquith Navarro
    Is an innocent man!
    He's an innocent man!
    He's an innocent man!
     
  3. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    (Monty!)

    Look at Phoebe! Noble and pious; my esteem for her only grows
    But when I am with Phoebe, I am on fire thinking of

    (Monty!)

    Sibella! Full of desire, passion and dare I say it? Love!
    But when I'm with Sibella, whom do I admire?

    (Monty, darling!)

    Phoebe, perfect and lovely, who couldn't love her?

    (Oh, Monty!)

    Round and round and round and round and round it goes!

    Monty Navarro!
    How have you come so very far?
    Monty Navarro!
    Too far to comprehend!
    Monty Navarro!
    Do we know who you really are?
    What will your future portend?
    Monty Navarro! Monty Navarro!
    Monty D'Ysquith Navarro!

    I am the Ninth Earl of Highhurst!
    And this is not

    (The thought occurs... If I didn't poison the Earl, who did?)

    (Prussic acid, in just the right amount, works almost instantly. Of course, if Monty had been found guilty, I had every intention of coming forward to confess my crime. Long live the Earl!)

    I'm still the Ninth Earl of Highhurst!
    And this is not the

    (I am standin' 'ere with poison in me pocket!)

    This is not the end!
     
  4. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    Since I'm getting the voyager-class Combiner Wars Groove, I've added legends-class Groove and Rook to my list.
     
  5. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    Sold Combiner Wars Rook and Universe Galvatron.
     
  6. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    There was this king sitting in his garden all alane
    When his brother, in his ear, poured a wee bit of henbane
    He stole his brother's crown, and his money, and his widow
    But the dead king walked and got his son and said, "Hey listen, kiddo!"

    "I've been killed, and it's your duty then to take revenge on Claudius
    Kill him quick and clean, show the nation what a fraud he is!"
    The boy said, "Right, I'll do it, but I'll have to play it crafty
    So no one will suspect me, I'll kid on that I'm a dafty!"

    So to all except Horatio, 'cause he counts him as a friend
    Hamlet (that's the boy) puts on he's round the bend
    But because he wasn't ready for obligatory killing
    He tried to make the king think he was tuppence off the shilling

    Got a rise out of Polonius, treats poor Ophelia vile
    Told Rosencrantz and Gildenstern, "Denmark's a bloody jail!"
    Then a troupe of traveling actors, like Seven Eighty-Four
    Arrived to do a special one-night gig in Elsinore

    Hamlet, Hamlet, loves his mommy!
    Hamlet, Hamlet, acting barmy!
    Hamlet, Hamlet, hesitating
    Wonders if the ghost's a fake, and that is why he's waiting

    So Hamlet wrote a scene for the players to enact
    While Horatio and he watched to see if Claudius cracked
    The play was called "The Mousetrap" (not the one that's running now)
    And sure enough, the king walked out before the final bow!

    Now Hamlet's got the proof that Claudius gave his dad the dose
    The only problem being now? Claudius knows he knows
    So while Hamlet tells his mother her new husband's not a fit one
    Uncle Claud puts out a contract, with the English king as hitman!

    And when Hamlet killed Polonius, the concealed corpus delicti
    Was the king's excuse to send him for an English hempen necktie
    With Rosencrantz and Gildenstern to make sure he got there
    But Hamlet jumped the boat, and put the finger on that pair!

    Meanwhile Laertes heard his dad had been stabbed through the arras
    He came running back to Elsinore, toot sweet hotfoot from Paris
    And Ophelia, with her dad killed by the man she wished to marry
    After saying it with flowers, she committed harikari!

    Hamlet, Hamlet, nae messin'!
    Hamlet, Hamlet, learned his lesson!
    Hamlet, Hamlet, Yorick's crust
    Convinced him that men good or bad at last must come to dust!

    Then Laertes lost his cool and was demanding retribution
    The king said, "Keep your head, I'll provide you a solution."
    So he arranged a sword fight for the interested parties
    With a blunted sword for Hamlet, and a sharpened sword for Laertes

    To make things double sure, the old belt-and-braces line
    He fixed a poisoned sword tip, and a poisoned cup of wine
    The poisoned sword got Hamlet, but Laertes went and muffed it
    'Cause he got stabbed himself, and he confessed before he snuffed it!

    Then Hamlet's mommy drank the wine, and as her face turned blue
    Hamlet said, "I think the king's a baddy, through and through."
    "Incestuous, murderous, damned Dane!" he said, to be precise
    Made up for hesitating once by killing Claudius twice!

    For he stabbed him with the sword and forced the wine between his lips
    He cried, "The rest is silence!" and cashed in all his chips
    They fired a volley over him that shook the topmost rafters
    And Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happily ever after

    Hamlet, Hamlet, oh so gory!
    Hamlet, Hamlet, end of story!
    Hamlet, Hamlet, I'm away!
    And if you think this is boring, you should read the bloody play!
     
  7. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    Yo, yo, yo! Check it out!

    Prince John and the Sheriff, they were running the show
    Raisin' the taxes, 'cause they needed the dough!
    A reign of terror took over the land
    They were shakin' down the people just to beat the band!

    I said hey! (Hey!)
    I said hey! (Hey!)
    I said hey-nonny-nonny and a ho-ho-ho!

    The people were unhappy, morale was low
    They had no place to turn to, there was nowhere to go!
    They needed a hero, but no one could be found
    'Cause Robin Hood was out of town!

    I said hey! (Hey!)
    I said hey! (Hey!)
    I said hey-nonny-nonny and a ho-ho-ho!

    He was put into the slammer by his Arab foe
    And in a little while he would be no mo'!

    I said hey! (Hey!)
    I said hey! (Hey!)
    I said hey-nonny-nonny
    Hey-nonny-nonny
    Hey-nonny-nonny and a here we go!

    Check it out!
     
  8. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    We're men
    We're men in tights
    We roam around the forest looking for fights
    We're men
    We're men in tights
    We rob from the rich, and give to the poor, that's right!
    We may look like sissies
    But watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
    We're men
    We're men in tights
    Always on guard defending the peoples' rights!

    We're men (Manly men!)
    We're men in tights (YES!)
    We roam around the forest looking or fights
    We're men
    We're men in tights
    We rob from the rich, and give to the poor, that's right!
    We may look like pansies
    But watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
    We're men
    We're men in tights (Tight tights!)
    Always on guard defending the peoples' rights!
    When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!
    We're butch!
     
  9. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    So that's our story
    And it worked out good
    King Richard's on his throne
    And Robin's back in the hood
    So let's bid our friends a food adieu
    And hope we meet again in Robin Hood 2

    I said hey! (Hey!)
    I said hey! (Hey!)
    I said hey-nonny-nonny
    Hey-nonny-nonny
    Hey-nonny-nonny and a here we go!
     
  10. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    The world is changing... I hear it in the trees... I feel it in the water... I smell it in the air. *frrt* Oops!

    It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the elves: immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. By the by, I'm one of them, you know. One of the wisest, fairest, most intelligent of all beings. In fact, I am the queen of the wisest, the fairest, the most intelligent... Anywho.

    Seven were given to the dwarf lords. They are little, swarthy people. Unlike the elves, the wisest, fairest, the most intelligent, of which I am the queen... But I digress.

    Nine rings were given to the race of men, who above all else desire power. Unlike the elves, the wisest, the fairest, the... You know the drill.

    Now, within these rings was the power to rule each race. But they were all of them deceived. For in the depths of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the evil Sauron had forged one more ring. A master ring of great power: one ring to rule them all!

    But after a great battle, the ring was lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. Myth became a book, the book became a movie, and tonight the movie becomes a musical!
     
  11. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    Happy birthday, Bilbo!
    Today you're one-hundred and eleven!
    (Get outta here!)
    Happy birthday, Bilbo!
    Though you only look like you're forty-seven!

    We'll eat, and drink, and smoke our fill!
    We'll stay all night, 'cause Bilbo's footin' the bill! (Woo!)
    Happy birthday, Bilbo!
    You went there and back again!
    (Guilty!)
    Happy birthday, Bilbo!
    Say goodbye to one-hundred and ten!

    (That's my friend the wizard, Gandalf the Grey!)
    (And I give to you, my friend, the gift of dance!)

    Bilbo! (What?)
    Bilbo! (What?)
    Bilbo! (WHAT?)
    Bilbo! (WHAT?)
    Bilbo! (WHAT!?)
    Bilbo! (Whaaaaat?)
    Bilbo!

    Happy birthday, Bilbo!
    It's your special day!
    Happy birthday, Bilbo!
    Don't you never ever ever ever
    Ever ever never ever
    Ever go away!

    Shire!
     
  12. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    (Had there been writing revealed by the flame, that would have been bad. Really bad. End of TIME bad--)
    (Wait, there's writing!)
    (Oh, crap.)
    (It's some form of Elvish. I can't read it.)
    (There are few who can. It is the language of Mordor. It says...)

    One ring
    One ring to rule them all
    One ring
    One ring to find them
    One ring
    One ring to bring them all
    And in the darkness bind them

    One ring
    It's heard its master's call
    One ring
    Severed from his hand
    One ring
    Could make the darkness fall
    All at his command

    In the land of Mordor, shadows lie
    Where strong and brave have fought and died
    It's the big black hill
    With the big red eye
    And flying lizards in the sky
    It's where Sauron leads his foul crusade
    To retrieve this evil he had made
    Just one thing can save your Shire
    This ring must go back to Mount Doom
    And be consumed by fire!


    (It says all that on that one little--)
    (IT'S A MAGICAL RING!)
    (Okay...)
    (This is the One Ring, forged by Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom! In Mordor...)
    (But I thought Sauron was killed.)
    (Oh, yes. He was killed. If by "killed" you mean turned into a giant flaming evil red eyeball, sure, you betcha! He was "killed!" Sauron is rebuilding his armies. His power grows. His life force is connected to this. He needs but this one ring to cover all the lands in darkness!)

    One ring!
    One ring to rule them all
    One ring!
    One ring to find them
    One ring!
    One ring to bring them all
    And in the darkness bind them
    One ring
    One ring
    One ring
    One ring
    Just one ring!
     
  13. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    How far are we going?
    How long will we be gone?
    I'm not really sure.

    Should I bring my skillets?
    Should I bring my PJs?
    Bring just what you need.

    What do we have to do?
    Yeah, what's expected of us?
    Gandalf will tell us.

    Wait.
    One, two, three, four...
    Is this enough weed?


    The road may be long
    Days may be hard
    The sky may be cold and gray
    As long as you're here
    Right by my side
    Home's never too far away


    If we're gone a long time
    I'll miss Gammer's nummies
    If we're gone a long time
    I'll miss drinks at the pub
    If we're gone a long time
    I'll miss cards at Bag End
    Hey Sam, I bet you'll miss Rosie!
    Eh, not so much

    The road may be long
    Days may be hard
    The sky may be cold and gray
    As long as you're here
    Right by my side
    Home's never too far away


    (But I've heard that the Prancing Pony has over thirty-one flavors of pudding!)
    (Who knows what we'll see!?)
    (YEAH!)

    Maybe I'll see a silver elf
    Or an oliphaunt, that's what I'd like to see!

    Bilbo told me stories of trolls and orcs
    Fire-breathing dragons and sorcery!

    And if they attack, I've got your back
    I'll prove I'm a man and that I'm strong and brave!

    Maybe I'll find new things to smoke
    And get myself invited to a dwarven rave!


    The road may be long (Road may be long!)
    Days may be hard (Days may be hard!)
    The sky may be cold and gray
    As long as you're here
    (Long as you're here!)
    Right by my side (Right by my side!)
    Home's never too far away
    YEAH!


    As long as you're here...
    Right by my side...
    Home's... never too far... away...
     
  14. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    Something smells like a rotten orc!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    Don't eat the meat, 'cause it ain't pork!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    If you do it'll make you hork!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    It's best we just pop another cork!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!

    Outside that door I'd cut your throat
    And laugh as you were dying (You would, too!)
    But once in here you're my true friend
    As long as you are buying!


    I never found someone that I couldn't trust!

    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    I never met a man who didn't like to cuss!
    Here at the Prancing (Damn!) Pony!
    I just saw a lady with a lovely bust!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    She's nice and clean, if you don't mind crust!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!

    I must go, but I'll make a toast (Hear, hear!)
    To your healthy, happy life
    And while you stay here in this pub
    I'll go meet up with your wife!


    You'll always find you've got a friend!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    You'll always find an ear to bend!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    I think I'm gonna cut the wind!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    Now your britches need a little mend!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!

    I've never seen a man in here
    Who wasn't noble and kind
    And I can say that in all truth
    Because I'm totally blind!


    We have our fun and that's no crime!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    We're always losing track of time!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    ........
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
    Sing a little song and make a little rhyme!
    Here at the Prancing Pony!

    If you want to disappear
    Come on in and have no fear
    Dwarf, elf, Mithrandir
    Everyone is welcome here!
    The specialty's baloney
    We don't allow no phony
    You'll never feel aloney
    Here at the Prancing Pony!
     
  15. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    (We can no longer wait for Gandalf. They are coming.)
    (Who are they?)
    (I'm glad you asked, Pippin. They are known by many names...)

    The Nazgul!
    Black Riders!
    Ringwraiths!
    The same thing!


    (That's a great song, Mr. Strider, but they seem to be getting a lot closer!)
    (You're right. I'll sing on the way!)

    The Nazgul!
    Black Riders!
    Ringwraiths!
    The same thing...


    Untitled.jpg

    ...And that's the story of the Nazgul!

    (MAN that was a freaking long song!)
     
  16. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    Now when I wake up in the Shire
    'Fore I take off my attire
    I go to see just what there is to eat
    (Mmm, mm!)
    And my Gammer's standing there
    And I stammer and I stare
    When I see that she's prepared my favorite meat!
    Now when the meating course is done
    Then the feasting has begun
    And like a little piggy I will squeal
    It's a chewy comic chomp
    It's a gastrinomic romp
    And these are just hors d'oeuvres before the meal!

    We are thankful for this bounty
    All of our family, food, and friends
    For these blessings, oh how we sing
    It's a hobbit thing


    (Okay, I understand.)
    (Oh no you don't. Have a seat.)
    (Okay.)
    (Listen up.)

    Next is tea and breakfast time
    And then will be, I hear the chime
    That tells me that we've hit big morning snack
    (DING!)
    Oh I can't wait, elevensies
    It takes me straight to heavensies
    Lunch is next; ooh we're right on track!


    We are thankful for this bounty
    All of our family, food, and friends
    For these blessings, oh how we sing
    It's a hobbit thing


    (Okay, I get it.)
    (Uh-uh!)
    (Alright...)
    (AHEM!)

    After lunch we don't delay
    It's afterbrunch and crudité
    And then we tap a second keg of mead
    (Woo!)
    Supper treats and evening crunchies
    Dinner sweets and midnight munchies
    Now it's time to smoke some hobbit weed


    We are thankful for this bounty
    All of our family, food, and friends
    Laughter and sharing
    Good times aplenty
    We hope meal time never ends!


    Bring on the pudding (Tiny tomatoes!)
    Candied nuts (Clams on the half shell!)
    Cookies and ice cream
    (And pipe weed, too!)
    For all these blessings
    Oh, how we sing

    It's a hobbit
    It's a hobbit
    It's a hobbit thing
    SHIRE!
     
  17. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    We don't need tomorrow
    'Cause we got today
    And what's today but yesterday's tomorrow?
    I never knew my heart could pump like this
    I can taste forever in your kiss
    Living on time not ours to borrow

    One moment with you
    It feels like a whole lotta moments
    But we can make forever start tonight
    This romance with you
    It feels like a whole lotta romance
    We can make forever start tonight


    (Let's sing in Elvish now.)

    Thrinsala hon si'calo maan

    Rathcala scandala fator
    Skintala sonto calo manor finnal
    Ralakishi lalafala ula ungaska
    Sin'cala mon si'calo nan
    Ruth'cala ski'lala
    SHAKA KHAN!

    One moment with you
    It feels like a whole lotta moments

    We can make forever start tonight
    This romance with you
    It feels like a whole lotta romance
    (Take it!)
    We can make forever start tonight

    One moment with you
    It feels like a whole lotta oh yeah
    We can make forever start tonight
    This romance with you
    It feels like a whole lotta oh wow
    We can make forever start
    We can make forever start to
    We can make forever start
    Tonight

    Let's make tomorrow
    Tonight
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2016
  18. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    (Well then, we shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!)
    (HOORAY!)

    Now there're nine of us
    And we've got a plan
    It's time to get to it
    We know what we know
    And where to go
    Together we'll get through it


    We're off to Mordor, Let's go pack
    I'll be sure to pack a snack
    What if there's an orc attack?
    Or those scary freaks all dressed in black?

    They are the Nazgul! (Yes we know that)
    Black Riders! (You already told us)
    Ringwraiths! (There's need to cover)
    The same thing! (The same information again and again and...)

    One ring

    One ring that we should use
    One ring
    And then we could not lose
    One ring
    For now I'll toe the line
    But soon it will be mine!

    One moment with you
    It feels like a whole lotta moments
    But I guess forever won't start tonight
    Sweet Arwen, no!

    One moment with you
    One moment with you (Ow!)
    It feels like too many moments (Too many moments)
    I bet I could take you in a fight!

    Back in the Shire, they won't believe

    They'll say it's a lot for me
    We'll have lots of stories to tell

    Back at the Prancing Pony
    We are thankful for each other

    No matter what tomorrow brings

    We are the nine!
    Together we stand!
    Lift up your hearts and sing!
    I grant you my life!
    My sword!

    My axe!
    And my bow!
    Whatever tomorrow may bring!
    The Fellowship of the Ring!
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2016
  19. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    (Ladies and gentlemen, from deep beneath the Mines of Moria, I give you... The Balrog!)
    (Thank you, thank you very much.)

    What is this ruckus that dares disturb my sleep?

    (Hey, thanks for checking out this sales thread. Buy something; I need to hire more goblins.)

    Silence is all I ask!
    Not a noise, not a sound, not a peep!
    One time I heard the dwarves...

    (Hey Alan, do you remember that one time? Ooh, let's all hear it for Alan on the keyboard, and Chris on the drums. Go ahead, give them a hand, I'll wait.)
    (...We had more band members, but I got hungry.)

    One time I heard the dwarves
    Because they simply dug... too... deep!
    And as they soon found out
    The price of that
    Is steep!

    I am the Balrog
    Oh I see you know my name
    I am older than time
    I am shadow, I am flame
    I've been pulled from my slumber
    Now someone's gonna take the blame
    I don't know who you are
    But you'll be sorry that you came

    I've been so sleep-deprived
    In case you didn't catch the theme
    There's too much noise in here
    It's really gonna make me scream
    I finally nodded off
    That's when I heard your little team
    And I was in the middle of the most delightful little dream!

    (There I was, skipping through Mirkwood Forest with my good friend Tom Bombadil. But that got boring, so... snip, snip, snip! Next thing I know I'm running on a carpet of woodland animals. You know, giraffes. Sloths. Children. I tripped and flew into the sky, where I ate cotton candy clouds and gummy drop bumblebees! And you know, you were there. And you were there. And you...)
    (Who the hell are you? Why don't you quit raging on a forum about a franchise you clearly hate and get a job. Sheesh.)
    (It was the best dream I ever had. And then you woke me up.)
    (NOT! GOOD!)

    I am the Balrog
    Oh I see you know my name!
    I am older than time!
    I am shadow! I am flame!
    I've been pulled from my slumber
    Now someone's gonna take that blame!
    I don't know who you are
    But you'll be sorry that you came!
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2016
  20. Dark_T_Zeratul

    Dark_T_Zeratul Well-Known Member

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    I always thought
    Since I was up to there
    That a highfalutin elf wouldn't catch me if I fell
    'Cause I always thought
    They were all about their hair
    Their beady little eyes
    And their heightened sense of smell
    They're fancy and prancy
    Always talking to the tree
    So full of themselves
    If you need a job done
    Whatever you do
    Please don't go to the elves
    But this one here
    Has changed my mind
    And now I'm caught
    I guess we're not as different as I thought


    I always thought that
    The dwarves were just stupid
    No sense of beauty
    Just hair and dirt and farts
    And I heard
    They eat their children
    And pick their dirty dwarf teeth
    With the dwarf children's dirty dwarf bones
    But we're both here
    Risking our lives
    That can't be all for naught
    I guess we're not as different as I thought


    So your men look like women!
    So your women look like men!
    But now your race
    Has got a face
    And the healing can begin
    Looking in your eyes
    I can't remember why we fought
    I guess we're not as different as I thought
    As I thought
    As we thought
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2016

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