(So sorry to interrupt such a festive occasion, but I am under strict instructions to arrest you. For murder.) (Murder?) Stop. Wait. What? Well I didn't kill Adelbert D'Ysquith Though that certainly was my intent Rather hard to digest that I could be arrested For something that I'd only meant And it couldn't be poor Cousin Asquith For he graciously died on his own Was that hole in the ice just a bit too precise? Was my presence in Chizzlemere known? (Murder, did you say?) (I'm afraid so, Your Lordship.) Stop. Wait. When? I should doubt I was seen at the harbor Lady Hyacinth fell in so fast As for Salome's end all suspicion would send Them at once to that backstabbing cast Did the bee stings reveal my deception? Was I seen at the weight lifting hall? How rude to intrude on this lovely reception For I am the earl, after all! Yes I am the earl, after all! Though it's come, I concede, at a cost But where was my blunder? My weakness, I wonder? Is all of it now to be lost? Is all of it now to be lost? (Murdering... whom?) (Lord Adelbert D'Ysquith, Eighth Earl of Highurst!) Stop. Wait. Who? For the murder of Adelbert D'Ysquith? Were there ever a farce this is it I am almost amused I should stand here accused Of a murder I didn't commit! (But surely, the Earl died of a heart attack.) (Nnnnno, Your Lordship, it WAS foul play.) Of course, I should like to inquire By what method he happened to die But more to the point what events now conspire To lead them to think it was I? I've dispatched half a dozen Each one a cousin All of them quite by design It is not a defense It just makes no sense! This murder was not one of mine!