There is a clearing in the coastal forest of British Columbia, thirty miles north-northwest of Prince Rupert. No birds will cross this clearing, no animals will enter it, no grass will grow there. The floor of the clearing is bare rock, as not even dirt will remain there long. Those who have attempted to enter the clearing report a feeling of intense nausea and hopelessness, that quickly passes as they re-enter the forest. In the center of the clearing, a polished wooden post is hammered into a crude hole in the ground. The post measures approximately five feet above groundlevel, with a diameter of 5 inches and a circumference of 14. Halfway up the post are three small glyphs of a style unknown to western scientists or to the natives that have lived in the area for thousands of years. It will take no other markings, paint or varnishes. It is thought by some that these glyphs bear a relation to three of those on the Phaistos Disc, although infinitely more elaborate. Only two men are known to have been able to approach the post and touch it, but neither survived more than six months afterwards.
Today, I was taking a leak and found my underpants were on inside out. As I took them off to turn them the right way round, a three-way gateway to the true Earth fell out. I held it up to the bathroom mirror at precisely 13:53 and whispered the names of the victims of the Second Defenestration of Prague. Immediately a loud booming voice, the size of a hushed whisper, told me things which I understood to be in a language not of my understanding. After I pulled my pants back up and zipped my fly, I wrote down the words of non-understanding backwards on a napkin which was not previously in my pocket, and to my benign surprise, the words read something completely unintelligible. As I made my way back to the desk, the three-way gate to the True Earth explodingly collapsed in on itself, thus releasing an inky blackness of invisible white light, like likes of which have never been heard before. I then took the napkin from my pocket, blew my nose on it, and learned the secrets of the ancients, which had, until this time been previously lost. Sharing this information, or even thinking about it, will result in devastating and irreversible damage to the fragile bifurcation of the parallax realities.
If you like Ted the Caver, check out The Descent, which is otherwise unrelated to with the movie, but is still about oogy things deep underground.
there's something higher than a house and higher than a tree. It's underneath the water, underneath the sea..Whatever can that be ? its a song we use to sing in 4th grade..
So all of the great conspiracies and secrets to the universe that will totally blow your mind...................... and the majority of them are on angelfire...............it all makes sense!
In San Dimas , California......... There is a Circle K. Strange things are afoot at that Circle K..........
In every city, there is a place where the local homeless gather in great numbers. If you look for him, you will find an old man with a long gray beard and torn denim jacket. He will not speak to you unless you bring an offering of sage, saffron or cigarettes. You must sit with him every night while he screams disjointed rants against doctors and the government. After one week, he will share with you his secrets. You must tell these secrets to no one, for that was his mistake.
"All mirrors are actually windows to another world. This world cannot be reached, and shouldn't be reached, as all our mirror-selves are extremely malicious." Than why is he so damn sexy?
If you are watching television, and Rock of Love comes on, turn the TV off immediately. If you watch the skanky whores on TV for long enough, the image will suddenly freeze. All sound in the room will cease; even the images of the skanky whores on the TV itself will disappear. If this happens you must not look away from the screen. You will probably not notice at the time, before you lose your gaze on the TV, your body will freeze as well and your penis will enlage. Time around and with you have paused completely. The whores will slowly come to life out of the television, creeping slowly in seemingly random directions. Not whores as you know them, but organizing themselves into a group of super even skankier whores again in front of you. As the image of the skanky whores returns to normal, and the picture of the TV comes back, you will regain control of your body. You must never watch that television again. It will only play images of the skanky whores, even when unplugged. If you watch the skanky whores any longer, these same events will reoccur, but with disastrous results. What exactly happens is unknown, as it is obvious that anyone that has been unfortunate enough to experience this has disappeared. It is rumored that if one continues to watch the images of the skanky whores again, or during their experience, looks away, the skanky whores will slowly start to move again, but you will not. Your eyes will then be permanently fixated on the screen as you watch the skanky whores come back to life, and what seems to be your station's signal return to I Love the 70s or Celebrity Fit Club. You learn soon this is not the case, as all sound is still absent, and the picture on the TV shows a familiar surrounding: the room in which you sit. The only thing you see next is movement on the TV, as you see yourself from behind, and subsequently, the cause of your disappearance, Brett Michaels killing you for taking all his skanky whores.
