Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Foster, Jun 4, 2007.
There ya go, Zeta. Go nuts.
This one time, at OTFCC 2003...
Time for the full story I hinted at from Sami's thread...
A co-worker was really into this girl at his gym, he finally lands a date with her, but, a friend of hers was coming in from out of town for that weekend, so if he still wanted the date, he needed to find someone for her friend... enter the sucker... me.
I agree after a TON of begging and promises. So, we meet up that friday at the diner, we sit down and I finally get to meet Vanessa, my co-worker's date, and Debra?, my date. I call her Debra? because EVERYTHING sounded like a question coming out of her mouth.
Anyway, we start talking having some fun, knowing each other, and then Vanessa leaves the table for the bathroom leaving me, my coworker, and Debra?. So, Debra asks about my background. I tell her I'm German mainly and that I was raised Jewish. This prompted the question, "But, weren't all the Jews killed in World War One?"
"No, that was WW2, and they weren't all killed... just, a lot of them."
But, no, she was insistant that it was world war one... by this time, my coworker is turning purple from holding in his laughter. I was hoping for his head to explode.
Finally, Vanessa returns to the table and Debra? is just SO excited. "'Nessa! Guess what! Dan's Jewish! Isn't that so cool?" (yes folks, my name is Dan.)
And so, Vanessa looks at me like I just stabbed a baby and goes. "Oh, so you're a Jew?" Now, this is where it all gets a LITTLE blurry as I sorta lost track of all the anti-semetic slurs this girl started vomitting out... plus I couldn't stop laughing at her.
Here comes the BEST part.
Vanessa's little rant was cut surprisingly short by the sudden introduction of a flying handbag from behind. Little did anyone know, but sitting DIRECTLY behind the girls was this adorable elderly couple straight from... you guessed it! Isreal! This little old lady whapped Vanessa with a full bodied swing of this MASSIVE hand bag followed by "What the hell did you say? WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"
At this point, Debra? starts crying because she thought the lady was yelling at her, Vanessa is screaming at the old lady, the old man is holding his face in his hands, and I turn to my coworker and say "You know what time it is?" I don't wait for a reply. "It's time to get the fuck out of here and get a drink."
So, we slip out of there and get in my car. We drive up the street to the bar and grab a few beers then drive back about 45 minutes later. We look into the window and THEY ARE STILL AT IT. This is where I look at my coworker again and say "They're all yours, bud. I'll see you Monday."
End of story, right?
Sunday I get a call from my coworker... guess who he had sex with! Debra?! Why? She felt bad that Vanessa insulted HIM! She totally forgot that I was the one being insulted and HE got sex out of it.
I gave him a dead arm on monday and told him if he ever did that to me again, I'd throw him in a woodchipper cock first.
You should have called her and set her straight. Chances are she would have put out for you too.
I once met this girl for dinner and she proceeded to spend the entire dinner trying to convert me to Jehovah's Witness. Longest night of my life.
So Zeta, why were you pissed at him? Because he got to bang the anti-Semetic tramp instead of you?
This whole thread is LOL so far, seriously. Man I've had some crappy gfs and a few bad dates but nothing this bad. By the way Zeta, how did this Debra chick look? Tell me she was smoking hot, she'd have to be consider as dumb as you described her right?
No, his buddy banged the stupid one, not the anti-semite. Not that the two terms are mutually exclusive.
Weren't they both anti-Semites?
No, the other one was just stupid and thought the Jews were all killed in WW1. She actually thought it was "cool" that he was jewish.
Reading FTW, foster
man, its crap like this that makes me glad I'm married.
But my question is, was Debra? hot? It seems only fair that a girl that dumb be incredibly hot.
Maybe she thought he was some kind of Jewish Duncan Macleod, the last of his kind. And that she had just stumbled on an opportunity to take the last one out.
Zeta, was she clutching her steak knife in a way that made you at all nervous?
"There can be only one"
I have yet to hear this story, and I was there.
Actually the only time I ever actually met you.
My crazy date, I got crapped on by a pigeon on a first date and the girl I was with is now my wife. Moral: Whoever said a bird crapping on you was good luck was full of it.
Dumb chicks rule.
My nutcase feminist nympho ex story is locked somewhere in the bowels of the Fuzzy.
So I metup with this girl at the club one night. My friend and I pretended to be the boyfriends of her and her friend to stave off this greasy Italian guy. So, one thing leads to another, and she winds up inviting me over for the night.
The next day, we start texting back and forth, and she says I should take her out to dinner to make up for the fact that she drove me home (I had been riding with a buddy that night, I'm not that lame of a guy). So I agree, sort of, and we wind up going to dinner the next night.
Well, she starts off by saying she wants to leave town. So I'm thinking, okay, Ft. Collins. So we go up there, I take her out to this nice Mongolian grill, and drop $50 on dinner and drinks. But all she can talk about is her stupid ex-boyfriend, and even when I try to "get to know her" she's just all tired and irritated, even though I told her we could do the date another night.
I couldn't get her out of there quick enough.
She's my roommate now.
Separate names with a comma.