Chojin Acceleration: Nights

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by Dremare, Mar 30, 2008.

  1. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Being totally new to this, this shall be somewhat the starter to my comic series, "Chojin Acceleration: Dreams". (Note that this is only serious & not really funny)

    Right now it's just the bios, but I shall go to the story afterwards.


    Dremare
    Gender: Male
    Colors: Mostly silver on black with a silver torso
    Weapons: Twilight Spear, DenHikari Ken, Twilight Chains
    Personality: Hard to tell, as he as multiple ones, with forms to match
    Toy: Custom Bionicle
    Bio:The hero of the story, he has no connection to the Owner's user name on TFW2005. He can control twilight, & is ten times as powerful as a normal Bionicle, but because of the limiter shield placed on the entire house, is as strong as Omega Supreme. He was multiple personalities, with the common ones being the true, care-free, friendly personality & the one mostly seen, & a even more serious, dark, cold, & uncaring personality behind that. He truly wants to protect everyone, & will, no matter what the cost.
    Motto: "Don't think what could happen, but what will happen."

    Howling
    Gender: Female
    Colors: Green, black, white, & a flesh color
    Weapons: Tonfas, cannon
    Personality: A hot tempered personality but kind & caring
    Toy: Busou Shinki
    Bio: The heroine of the story, she has a crush on Dremare. She often assists him protecting the house from his half-brother Dramage & Blood. Her hot temper tends to get her into hostage situations but Dremare is always there to save her.
    Motto: "Help others no matter what."

    Dramage
    Gender: Male
    Colors: Nearly all black with silver & red
    Weapons: Shadow Slicer, Hand-Held Gatling Cannon
    Personality: Crazy, but sane & evil
    Toy: Custom Bionicle
    Bio: The crazy brother of Dremare, he is the main antagonist with Blood. He plans to take over the room & nothing else, but Dremare is there to stop him. He considers Blood his underling & has a small army of Bionicle parts.
    Motto: "Cause pain & misery everywhere!"


    More to come, as I am tired of typing.
     
  2. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Now more!!!


    Blood
    Gender: I would check, but he/she/it'll kill me
    Colors: Red, black, silver, & gray
    Weapons: Claws, Power Blade
    Personality: Insane, evil, & homicidal
    Toy: Custom Bionicle
    Bio: A blood-thirsty Bionicle, Blood wants nothing more. He/she/it kills for the fun of it, & laughs at his/her/something's dead opponent.
    Motto: "Kill! Maim! Burn!"

    Grand Convoy
    Gender: Male
    Colors: Red, black, blue, white, orange, yellow, & a whole handful of colors
    Weapons: His Super Modes configurations
    Personality: Funny but serious
    Toy: Transformers: Energon
    Bio: The funny guy of the three, he justs wants to see the toys living peacefully united together again. He is saddened to see the deaths of his comrades & friends, but he wants to move on & forget the war & make a memorial to his comrades & friends.
    Motto: "Remember those who have fallen."
    More to come, as I am tired.



    Edit: Man, did I notice a lot of mistakes. Took care of it though.
     
  3. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Okay, here is my first chapter:

    Chapter 1: War Zone
    It was two years ago when it happened. No one expected it, not even Vector Prime. It was a gigantic slaughter of the collection. A war started from this slaughter between all of the toys in the Owner's collection. Power Rangers, Gundams, Bionicles, Transformers, everything in his room were at war.

    The one who caused the slaughter is unknown. The Bionicles claimed it was Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons, who did it. The Decepticons said it was Akatsuki, the leader of the Gundams who did it. The Gundams said it was Optimus Prime. The Autobots thought it was Branka, the leader of the Bionicles. & Branka said it was all of the Power Rangers. Nevertheless, the toys could never agree on who it was, & the war started. The Autobots, Power Rangers & Decepticons joined to battle the other factions, while the Gundams, & Bionicles joined to battle the others. Nevertheless, meaningless blood has been shed & countless corpses have been tossed into the Garage, the final resting place of every toy. However, a new alliance between four toys will decide what the fate of the room will be, & what will happen.


    Okay this isn't really a chapter but its a summary of what happened before the true story.
     
  4. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Are there any readers who see this?! Man, I had hoped for more viewers, but oh well.

    Chapter 2: Runner
    It was quiet in the halls, until a silver blur came racing down the halls, to be only followed by a giant warplane.
    "Come on, Dremare-kun! He's gaining on us!!"a female voice said, & the blur went faster.
    "I would, but this thing isn't build to go supersonic speeds!!" a male voice said, when the warplane fired at them.
    "Cease & no harm will go to you!!" the warplane said, attacking them more. Just then, a helicopter attacked the warplane, & it sped towards the blur.
    "Hey, Howling! Dremare! Sorry that I couldn't make it, but I had a few things to do at the same time!"a voice said from the helicopter. The blur turned a head around.
    "No problem! But the only problem that we could have is that Megatron would catch up!" Dremare said, going a bit faster. Just then, they pasted a shiny black hole.
    "Hey! A Twilight Portal!" Dremare said, turning to it.
    "What's a Twilight Portal?" Howling asked.
    "A Twilight Portal is a portal that allows you to go anywhere if you a twilight user. Otherwise, if you're not, it'll send you somewhere else," Dremare said, heading towards it.
    "Gee, sounds like a plot hole," said Howling.
    "Exactly!" Dremare said, going in it.

    Later...
    As the blur slowed down, Dremare & Howling stepped off with the helicopter attaching to a robot, becoming a arm.
    "What took ya so long?" the robot said, jokingly.
    "Not funny, Grand. We could have been killed!" Dremare said, hitting Grand in the gut.
    "Ow!! Easy there, fella. You do remember that you're as strong as Omega Supreme?" Grand said, rubbing his gut.
    "Yea, but only with my strength reduced by 4 times! Stupid Blood & Dramage..." Dremare said, crossing his arms.
    "Now, now. Is there any reason for this violence?" a voice said from behind. Dremare turned around.
    "Grand's making jokes about me & Howling being nearly killed by Megatron!!"
    Dremare said, pointing at the Autobot.
    "Oh, come on!!! You know I was joking, right?!" Grand said, preparing to punch Dremare.
    "Grand-kun, Dremare-kun, stop fighting! Now is not the time!" Howling said, walking out. Dremare, Grand, & the mysterious voice, followed Howling to the next room.

    END OF CHAPTER 2

    Okay, we have just introduced Dremare, Howling, & Grand. But who is this mysterious person? Find out in the next Chapter, which will be posted tomorrow.
     
  5. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Okay, I am really alone now... I wish that somebody would see this thread... Otherwise it's a dead thread.

    Chapter 3
    As they walked down the room/hall, they entered a great big room. There, 4 celestial beings where in front of them.
    "Welcome, Dremare-tachi. Am I sure that your mission was successful?" the first one said.
    "Yea, we did run into Megatron, though," Dremare said, with muttering between the 4 figures.
    "This war as gone long enough. What did you managed to get?" a second voice said.
    "Well, we've got part of the plans of the Transformers-Power Ranger alliance, until Megatron saw us. We have the entire plans of the Bionicle-Gundam alliance, though," Howling said, sternly.
    "Hmmm... That sounds promising... What about the death count?" a third voice asked.
    "The Power Rangers are declining rapidly, so much that only the Tyranno Zord is the only one left," Dremare said, sighing.
    "While the Bionicles are pushing the Transformers back with the help of the Gundams," Howling said, not showing signs of sadness.
    "Good. It is only a matter of time before they stop fighting," the fourth one said.
    "Well, I believe if we just fight the factions head on we could stop this war faster!" Grand said, stepping up.
    "Quiet, Grand. Now is not the time to act hot-headed again," the mysterious voice said behind them.
    "Eh, what do you know, you're just happy playing 'Guardian of the Room'!! While our friends are out there that are being killed as we speak?!" Grand said angrily at the mysterious voice.
    "Enough! Dremare-tachi, that is enough information about the war, you are dismissed, except for you, Fire-san," said the first voice. Dremare, Howling, & Grand all left, until the mysterious voice was the only one left.
    "What has happened to Blood, as we haven't heard any reports about him since a week ago," the first voice said, signaling the guardian to head out of the shadows. As the guardian came out, he answered to them "Blood is been out of action since a week ago, & no one knows where."
    "This is very bad," said the second voice.
    "Yes, No good can come out of this for us," the third one agreed.
    "Yes, I believe it is time for you to take action, Fire Convoy," the fourth one said.
    "Okay, I will. I promise you," the guardian said, walking out.

    Okay, we just revealed who is the mysterious voice, & its' Fire Convoy! Wait till the next chapter for tomorrow!!
     
  6. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    ..... I don't know even why I should bother doing this....
     
  7. Deviant Anomaly

    Deviant Anomaly Obsotted Fangirl

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    First of all, don't give up just because your story hasn't received any comments. It takes time to find an audience and you can't force the issue. Writing shouldn't be about seeking the approval of others anyways. It should be about personal enjoyment foremost.

    Although I've been writing fanfic for years, I'm certainly no expert on the subject. I think you have an interest idea and the character bios suggest a good grasp on your characters. However your structural skills could use a little refining. Most readers find lots of dialog boring. So I would try to strike a balance by including more descriptive narrative. Create an image for readers about what is happening rather than rely on characters speaking about it. Also watch out for repetitive word use. A good resource if you get stuck is http://thesaurus.reference.com/.

    Since you are new at this, best recommendation I can give is to take a look at other stories here. Pay attention to the different styles and structures so you get the hang of basic writing techniques. Then apply that knowledge to help yourself improve. Gradually you'll find a style all your own that people will enjoy. :) 
     
  8. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Thanks, DA. I know I shouldn't really give up on this, because I really want people to see my ideas. Oh yea, my stuff also says thanks.

    Chapter 4
    Dremare walked towards his Twilight-Speeder & climbed on it. But before he had a chance to go, Fire Convoy stopped him.
    "Dremare, I need a word with you," he called out to him. Dremare, with a grunt, stepped off.
    "Yea? What is it?" he said, walking towards Fire Convoy. If you had been there you could have said that Fire Convoy had the advantage at a fight with Dremare because of his height, but Dremare is stronger then 10 normal Bionicles in the Owner's room.
    "Have you seen Blood anywhere in the house?" Fire Convoy asked. Dremare, at the mention of Blood's name, looked down, & for 2 minutes was completely silent.
    ".....No. No one has seen Blood in days, not even Dramage, & they're working together," Dremare said, & before Fire Convoy said anything else, Dremare hopped on his Twilight-Speeder & left in a hurry, leaving Fire Convoy in the dust, confused.

    Not very long, isn't it? Oh well, next one will be longer.
     
  9. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    This thread is officially closed as of now, as I am suffering from writer's block.... I'm pathetic.......
     
  10. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Hey everyone, it's kind of been a while... But until I get a camera card for my photocomic I'm resuming writing my fanfic... The next chapter will come in a bit...

    P.S. I have edited Dramage's bio to say that he's Dremare's full blood brother.

    P.S.S. I have again edited Dramage's bio to say he uses a Hand-Held Gatling Cannon instead of a Shoulder-Mounted Gatling Cannon.
     
  11. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Chapter 5: Emergency!!

    Chapter 5: Emergency!!
    As Dremare rushed through the house, releasing his stress & fears as he zoomed out of Transformer-Power Ranger territory & Bionicle-Gundam territoy, with each side firing at him in vain. He smirked, & kept on flying. He sighed, thinking back on the talk he had with Fire Convoy, & was about to turn around back to the Base to apologize to Fire-sama for leaving him like that, until he crashed into a lean, tall, & demonic looking Bionicle. The Bionicle stood there, with a twisted smile behind his mask. Dremare scrambled away, looking for any way out. The Bionicle walked towards him, smiling like a maniac.
    "Hi, Dremare. Are you prepared to battle?" he said, pulling out a broadsword from a sheath. As he walked over to Dremare, Dremare touched a shadow & from it, a long double-bladed spear. The Bionicle swung his broadsword towards Dremare, but Dremare blocked the attack.
    "Blood!!! Can't say I'm surprised that you're here today after all those weeks, but where's Dramage? You're usually by his side!!" Dremare said, blocking all of Blood's continuous swings. Dremare then thrust his spear through Blood's swings, landing a hit on Blood's chest. As Blood staggered back, Dremare stood up slowly. Blood ran towards Dremare like an angry Irishman, but was sent flying backwards when he hit the blade of Dremare's spear & received a blast of twilight. Dremare ran towards his Twilight Speeder & raced towards the Room, the safest place for criminals, thieves, & warlords to live without being bothered in the War to help any side, & is neutral grounds, where the Base is located.
    He was near the Room until another Bionicle figure blocked his way. He looked back, & saw Blood catching up to him.
    "Do, a guy, a favor! Go, on the slowest, that thing, has!!" Blood said, huffing as he climbed the last stair step. Dremare turned towards the other figure.
    "Hmph. Should have guessed that you weren't fair from Blood, Dramage," Dremare said in a angry tone. Dramage laughed, & as quick as a mantis, Dremare was shot off his Twilight Speeder by Dramage's Gatling Cannon. As Dremare got up, Dramage jumped on his back.
    "Guess you forget about me, didn't ya!" Dramage said, with a insane laugh. He punched Dremare face repeatedly, until Dremare forced him off using with his twilight powers. Dremare struggled up, until Blood threw a sword at Dremare's head, forcing Dremare to duck. Blood laughed, & toppled over when he did it, falling down the stairs. Dremare got up, & Dramage fired another round at him.
    "You have been a thorn in my side for two years, Dremare!! I will get rid of you this time for sure!!" Dramage said in a aggravated tone. Dremare got up, ran towards his Twilight Speeder, & used his communicator on it to contact Howling, Grand, & Fire-sama.
    "Hello!! Is someone there?!? I need help!! Dramage is attacking me, & Blood's on his way!!! Need backup!!!" was all he could say before Dramage fired his Gatling Cannon at the Twilight Speeder, destroying the front of it. Dremare ducked once more as Dramage fired at him. He grabbed another shadow, & this time a gun was formed from the shadow. He fired at Dramage's face, & he used this time to run into the Room. Dramage followed in suit, destroying & killing anything in his way. Dremare ran into the Base, & as Dramage flew faster, the doors closed before him.
     
  12. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Okay, this story hasn't really gone anywhere, but instead of typing more of this story, I'll restart the story and add more characters to this story. And the title is now Chojin Nights.
     
  13. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    Okay, so here are the new bios of the main characters and the new characters I've added. They are all split into groups, and each group will start with the most important character and ending with the least important.

    The Twilight-Meisters:

    Dremare
    Position: Leader
    Colors: Black with silver armor and a silver torso
    Weapon: Twilight Spear, DenHikari Ken
    Mask (Bionicle exclusive): Kanohi Genkai, Mask of Phantom
    Bio: The leader of a misfit band of heroes called the Twilight-Meisters, he leads this group of unlikely people to face the Devolos (lead by Dramage) and the Drac Alliance. He gains add from the Autobots and their Elite Guard along with the Bionicle Forces. He wears the Kanohi Genkai, Mask of Phantoms, which allows him to use the spirits of the dead, also known as the Phantoms of the Passed. He shares an awkward relationship with Howling.

    Howling
    Position: Strategist
    Colors: Green, black, white and a flesh-color
    Weapons: Tonfas, Cannon
    MMS Type (Busou Shinki exclusive): Dog
    Bio: The only Busou Shinki currently in the Owners care, she is also one of the levelheaded toys in the entire collection. She is the strategist of the team, giving the instructions and with Dremare following the instructions she makes. She shares an awkward relationship with Dremare.

    Grand Convoy
    Position: Field Agent
    Colors: Red, white, blue, black, orange, and yellow
    Weapons: Ion Gun, Heli-Shield (Grand Prix 1 and ), Fire Fist (Grand Prix 1 only), Fire Extinguisher (Grand Prix 2 and 3), Drill Foot (Grand Prix 1 and 2), and Drill Arm (Grand Prix 3 and 4)
    Super Forms: Grand Prix 1 (right arm: Fire 1; left arm: Gryo 2; right leg: Sub 4; left leg: Drill 3)
    Grand Prix 2 (right arm: Sub 4; left arm: Fire 1; right leg: Drill 3; left leg: Gyro 2)
    Grand Prix 3 (right arm: Drill 3; left arm: Sub 4; right leg: Gyro 2; left leg: Fire 1)
    Grand Prix 4 (right arm: Gyro 2; left arm: Drill 3; right leg: Fire 1; left leg: Sub 4)
    Bio: The most powerful field agent that doesn't use a element like most of the field agents. He was once part of the Autobot Elite Guard until he was kicked out because of unruly conduct. He joined the Twilight-Meisters to regain his lost honor and to be with Howling. He has shown jealously to Dremare for his close relationship with Howling. He still has the powers of an Elite Guard member and can still access Omega Supreme's Connection Gears.

    Hataran
    Position: Field Agent and Recon
    Colors: Black, silver, gray, gold, green, and blue
    Weapons: Heavy Air Sword, Air Knife
    Mask (Bionicle exclusive): Kanohi Karus, Mask of Disguise
    Bio: The recon member of the team, he has a cool and strict personality. He can control shadow, air and to a very small extent light, being able to condense light into a small bullet and control it until it disappears in approximately 10 minutes. He uses the Kanohi Karus, Mask of Disguise, being able to disguise himself as anyone and anthing, which is perfect for his position as recon.

    Airron
    Position: Field Agent and Medical Agent
    Colors: Green, silver, white and yellow
    Weapons: Giant Air Scythe
    Mask (Bionicle exclusive): Kanohi Gangu, Mask of Protection
    Bio: The 2nd medical agent of the group, he is a great master of air. He is well known for being the one of the most cheerful beings in the Room. He assists Hahli in the medical field. His mask is the Kanohi Gangu, Mask of Protection, which can block any kind of attack, including surprise attacks and ambushes, things the Kanohi Hau can't do, and can also create a aura that heals part of the wounds others have suffered, but not completely.

    Hahli
    Position: Medical Agent
    Colors: Blue, green and silver
    Weapons: Tri-Talons, Cordak Blaster
    Mask (Bionicle exclusive): Kanohi Faxon, Mask of Kindred
    Bio: The 1st medical agent of the team, Hahli is the least dependable of the team as she can control any water in the Room, nor is her Mask helps her at all (her mask allows her to copy Rahi (Bionicle Animals) which the Owner has none at all). She stays at base with Howling to ensure the others that Howling is safe.

    More to come after this.
     
  14. Dremare

    Dremare Had an Epiphany

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    GOD!!! I was typing the story but my laptop overheated!!! BAH!!!!!
     

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