Chinese Democracy Finished? Dr. Pepper Line Forms to the Right

Deefuzz · Apr 11, 2008

After more than a decade of false promises and speculation, Axl Rose and his Guns N’ Roses bandmates have finally delivered their long-fabled album Chinese Democracy to Geffen Records. The record’s final price tag is estimated to be a cool $13 million.

Many music industry observers thought today’s announcement would never come. The band began working on Chinese Democracy 14 years ago as the follow-up to 1993’s The Spaghetti Incident, but money, copyright issues and turmoil between the band members plagued the project from the very beginning. GNR announced the album’s completion and release dates several times, most recently in March of 2007, but the album never materialized.

Then came an announcement from GNR cheerleader-come-lately Dr Pepper. In “an unprecedented show of solidarity with Axl,” company executives announced in March that every man, woman and child in America would receive a free can of Dr. Pepper if Chinese Democracy was released before year’s end. The only people excluded from the promise of a bubbly beverage were estranged GNR guitarists Slash and Buckethead.

Was Dr Pepper’s announcement the kick-in-the-ass that Axl needed to finish the album? After all, who doesn’t love an ice-cold fizzy beverage, especially when it's free? But what if there are more powerful forces at work here? What if...

...Axl was not waiting for Dr Pepper to jump on board the Chinese Democracy train. What if, perhaps, he was waiting for none other than the International Olympic Committee to approve China’s bid to host the world’s foremost athletic competition?

*cue spooky music*

It all started in 1993 when Chinese officials made their first bid to host the Olympic Games, the 2000 summer games, in the capital city of Beijing. As the IOC vote to determine the location of the 2000 games drew near, China’s only clear competition came from Australia, whose officials were championing Sydney for hosting duties. When the results of the IOC vote were announced, the Chinese were heartbroken to discover that the kangaroo-lovers from Down Under had been awarded the 2000 games by a paltry two-vote margin.

Axl heard the tale of Beijing’s failed Olympic bid, and felt an immediate solidarity with the Chinese. Devastated by the mediocre sales and scathing reviews of The Spaghetti Incident that same year, the GNR frontman understood what it felt like when the whole world craps on one’s dreams. An anonymous official in the Chinese government confirmed that Axl called Chinese President Jiang Zemin the very next day to express his sympathy, and make a vow that Guns N’ Roses would not release another album until China was awarded the Olympic Games.

Axl’s GNR bandmates were unaware of the promise for several years, until Slash overheard a telephone conversation between Axl and Zemin in 1996. An ardent supporter of the Dalai Lama’s crusade for Tibetan independence, Slash confronted Axl and announced he was quitting the band after several hours of bitter arguing. Guitarist Buckethead was also oblivious to Axl’s ties with China when he joined the band in 2000. It was only after he ran into Slash at a Hard Rock Café opening in 2004 that he learned of the frontman’s pact with China. Buckethead, however, was not particularly political; his departure from the band later that year, due to his erratic behavior and unreliability, was merely coincidental.

Axl waited patiently over the next eight years as China prepared to throw its hat into the Olympic ring again. In 2001, Chinese officials again proposed Beijing as a host city, this time for the 2008 summer Olympics. When the results of the OIC vote were announced that July, Chinese officials rejoiced: in a landslide victory, Beijing had crushed its nearest competitor Toronto by 22 votes. Chinese Democracy finally had a release date of August 2008, to coincide with the Beijing Olympics.

Mark our words: The GNR gang will make a show of haggling over money and rights to the new album for the next couple of months, but Axl has known the release date all along. The free Dr Pepper is just icing on the cake. Axl was so excited about the record’s release that he wrote on GunsNRoses.com that he would even share his can with Buckethead.

But then again, what do we know?
Click to expand...

Source: http://www.pastemagazine.com/action...elivers_democracy_to_geffen_amidst_conspiracy

Cungitron · Apr 11, 2008

Meh. Even if it is true. Guns n Roses have become a joke of a band. A real life Spinal Tap. Saw them play Download Festival Ireland in 2006 and they were shit.

They played an instrumental version of Christina Aguilera's Beautiful ffs.
Thank god Metallica played the next day. (though Therapy? did rock on the first day)

But anyways i wont be buying Chinese Democracy. Axl aint gettin my money

KidDynamite · Apr 11, 2008

I think Axl just really, really wanted a Dr. Pepper.

Super_Megatron · Apr 11, 2008

I haven't bought a CD in 8 years but will buy this.

aussiehippy · Apr 11, 2008

Hmm, this news so soon after the Dr Pepper press release.....

COINCIDENCE?

Bryan · Apr 11, 2008

As a card-carrying member of Generation Y, I feel almost obligated to purchase this.

If it's actually released, I mean.

Insane Galvatron · Apr 11, 2008

KidDynamite said: ↑

I think Axl just really, really wanted a Dr. Pepper.
Click to expand...

That comment coupled with your sig made me LOL.

Foster · Apr 11, 2008

It can't be any worse than St. Anger. Advantage: Axl.

Omnibus Prime · Apr 11, 2008

I look forward to my free Dr. Pepper. The album, not so much.

cannabisprime · Apr 11, 2008

14 years too late for this one...
... go figure, GnR has a song called 14 Years too..

Grimlock_13 · Apr 11, 2008

G n' R died in 1993. But I'm sure I'll buy Axl n' Friends' album IF it's released this year.

KA · Apr 11, 2008

il buy anything to sing woah oh oh oh to, yowza.

Omegatron · Apr 11, 2008

Chinese Dr. Pepperocracy? Yea.

but I'll believe it when I actually see it on store shelves.

Edge · Apr 11, 2008

I'll just take the dr. pepper please

Joe Moore · Apr 11, 2008

Edge said: ↑

I'll just take the dr. pepper please
Click to expand...

+1

Obvious Prime · Apr 11, 2008

Well, looks like my little "trip" to China worked.

Dusty · Apr 11, 2008

Axel looks like a botox injected, white rasta-man..BUT...he's still got that fucking awesome voice. And I'm certain that this album will be great.

Chinese Democracy sale +1

Prisoner1138 · Apr 11, 2008

WHAT? Axl lost his voice years ago, he sounds like crap these days. That's like saying Ozzy still has his voice.

toma · Apr 11, 2008

i wouldn't mind a dr pepper right now actually

Red leader · Apr 11, 2008

If it were the original line up and it actually ever gets released I'd buy it

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Chinese Democracy Finished? Dr. Pepper Line Forms to the Right

Deefuzz Beard On! Beardmaster! Veteran

Cungitron Destroyer of Worlds

KidDynamite Do good recklessly Veteran

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aussiehippy Au contraire, Blackadder.

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Insane Galvatron is not insane. Really!

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Omnibus Prime I'm too old for this shit TFW2005 Supporter

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Grimlock_13 Currently facepalming at your post

KA Well-Known Member

Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

Edge weapon of destruction

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Obvious Prime Purple Repaint

Dusty Well-Known Member

Prisoner1138 TFW2005 Supporter

toma eskimo in disguise

Red leader Well-Known Member

Log in or Sign up

Chinese Democracy Finished? Dr. Pepper Line Forms to the Right

Deefuzz Beard On! Beardmaster! Veteran

Cungitron Destroyer of Worlds

KidDynamite Do good recklessly Veteran

Super_Megatron Veteran

aussiehippy Au contraire, Blackadder.

Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

Insane Galvatron is not insane. Really!

Foster Haslab Victory Saber Backer #3 Veteran

Omnibus Prime I'm too old for this shit TFW2005 Supporter

cannabisprime Well-Known Member

Grimlock_13 Currently facepalming at your post

KA Well-Known Member

Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

Edge weapon of destruction

Joe Moore Is Not Jim... Veteran

Obvious Prime Purple Repaint

Dusty Well-Known Member

Prisoner1138 TFW2005 Supporter

toma eskimo in disguise

Red leader Well-Known Member

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