Breathing Deeply

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Rumble02, Sep 20, 2010.

  1. Rumble02

    Rumble02 Radicon of Obliticons

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    So today I got the call that a good friend of mine (and a great man) was killed in a car accident. I have buried six people this year. I just dont know how much more I can take, but on top of that My four year old has been too surrounded by death this year. Do i take her to the funeral? She even told me today, " daddy its ok Stephen cant really be dead cuz he is too young" What am i supposed to say to that? Sorry I know this is a really downer thread but i just feel like the end of my rope has come and gone and now im just hanging onto a ledge. Please pray for the family of Stephen Frost. I'll miss you Frosty!
     
  2. Leadfoot

    Leadfoot The Strongest.

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    I was seven years old when my uncle died in a car accident. I witnessed my grandmother cursing god to hell and members of my family bursting into hysterical tears. He was 26 years old.

    When I was nine it happened again, to my other uncle, who was only 20. Same situation again. Both of them were cut down in the primes of their lives.

    To me, a seven year old, and my four year old brother, it was the most shocking and heartbreaking realization possible that death can take anyone. My family pretty much runs from casually Episcopalian to agnostic, so not terribly religious, but the explanation we received was that death was a threshold we all cross, but that we will have a chance to see those we knew in life on the other side. Nothing more specific than that. It did help.

    I can only wish you luck, and tell you that kids are resilient and they will come to terms with it.
     
  3. Dran0n

    Dran0n Junk male

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    That's a bummer, I wish you good luck in this difficult time.
     
  4. moreprimeland

    moreprimeland Optimus told me to do it! Moderator TFW2005 Supporter

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    Thoughts and prayers sent...so sorry about your friend.

    As for your daughter..you have to explain to her what you think she is mature enough to handle..4 IS young..but if she wants to ask questions (and is), she should receive answers, perhaps somewhat edited..in her statement she knows people die but equates death with being older..perhaps you have to gently confirm that younger people die too.
     
  5. Allsparky

    Allsparky Denied

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    My condolences to you brother. In 2006 I buried My brother in Jan., my great uncle in Mar., a dear friend in Sept., and my grandmother that Thanksgiving weekend. All while trying to finish an electrical apprenticeship. It literally felt like everytime I tried to get up I was emotionally knocked backed down. I destroyed a very good friendship with another from a result of pushing people away in anger. Something I've never been able to repair. I cannot offer you any advice on your daughter as I myself am not a parent. However, surround yourself with and latch onto those that are still in your life, and those that you love. Six people in one year has got to be extremely tough and I will most definately keep those six, as well as you my friend in heartfelt prayers. God Bless, Good luck weathering your storm, and peace be with you.
     
  6. jorod74

    jorod74 Psycholagnist (Ret.)

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    not trying to win any kind of pissing contest (and with this subject, no one wins it anyway) but last month, i not only watched my mother die, but i worked on her personally for 15 minutes trying to save her while waiting for a crew to get to her with the equipment i didn't have.

    my hatred for a couple weeks knew no bounds. to have the skills, training, understanding, but to be hamstrung with no tools and very little sight, i hated any being that would allow that kind of thing.

    so, my condolences are given without hesitation.

    speaking for the 4 year old, i would not take her to the funeral; however, i am not suggesting you avoid dealing with the issue. i can't judge how your child will react to the ceremony (boredom, fright, thinking it's a tea party, whatever) but from personal experience, i have seen 3 year old kids handle things like this better than 10 year olds. and vice versa.

    being overly cautious here myself, i think being in a situation that may confuse her could be more harmful than anything.


    i have never attended a funeral (not even my mother's- she did not want one) in my life because i cannot sit through it. I do other things to help the friends and family who are attending. i have to function to get through it. and the people can depend upon me.

    i really wish that death takes a holiday from your world for a while. 6 in one year is just not fair.
     
  7. MyTea Boc

    MyTea Boc Beardy Boyo!

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    A friend of mine buried his older brother last week after he was hit by a drunk driver, and it was one of the hardest funerals I've ever had to attend. It is never fair when someone dies young.

    You've had a really tough time this year. My thoughts are with you and the family.
     
  8. Rumble02

    Rumble02 Radicon of Obliticons

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    thanks everyone. I appreciate all the sharing. Sounds like this year has taken its tole on most of us. Jorod74, i am truly sorry for you losing your mother, and having to do so in such a frightening way is beyond my comprehension. If you ever wanna talk more pm me and ill give you my digits.
     
  9. Nyarlahotep

    Nyarlahotep Radicon Scourge

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    I just lost my uncle over the last week...I hope that everyone that knows Stephen is able to find solace in what a great man he must have been. Sorry for your lost.
     

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