Best Work Stories!!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Trenner Dios, Jun 25, 2007.

  1. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    I worked at a pizza place as a delivery driver for almost 3 years. I have also taken customer catalog orders over the phone for Eastbay and Miles Kimball. If there is one thing I've learned, when you deal with customers on a daily basis, you get some great stories.

    Let's hear some!!

    EDIT: I should add that open bath robes are not appropriate attire for answering the door to pay for your pizza....
     
  2. OmegaScourge

    OmegaScourge Custom Made TFW2005 Supporter

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    if its a hot chic and i was the deliverly boy, then i'm all for it
     
  3. My03Tundra

    My03Tundra LOVES TO EDIT POSTS!!

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    Yeah, but we know what you'd want to deliver.

    Hmmm... where to start. I worked for two years doing technical support on Windows XP Products, then for two MISERABLE years working for UPS and now I do collections on Sears credit cards. I have MANY stories there, but in general my favorites are my collection customers now that make up wild state laws that don't exist or try to make it seem like they do. Yeah, those delusional people are ALWAYS fun to deal with.

    With UPS, when I worked in the billing department, we had a policy to get people on an off the phones as quickly as possible. When we got a customer with a longer then normal billing adjustment, without fail, our bosses would be right there down our throats. After awhile, and after enough of us SAID something, they gave the people with a large volume of adjustments to the commercial account group.

    Technical support. Man. That was one job I miss as I worked with a stellar group of people and the calls by far were the funniest. I was working with a "funny" guy in Las Vegas, who, after I restored his internet connection gleefully said "Oh, My God, you made my nipples hard." I was laughing hysterically, and me being the professional said "glad I could help you out today, sir."
     
  4. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    This one time we drove over an IED in my Bradley. I was kinda sleeping in the back--you can't really fall asleep on account of the noise and vibration, but you enter this sorta fugue state--when all of the sudden we just shook and then stopped. In about two seconds, the rear compartment was full of smoke. I was the only one back there, 'cause we'd dropped the actual squad off earlier.

    So I'm shouting and trying to figure out what's happening, and I can't see shit on account of the smoke. I hear the Bradley commander shout, "Doc, you okay?" And I was like, "Yeah, but I still wanna get the fuck out!" The handle on the door hatch was bent and wouldn't turn, turned out later the driver had been injured so he couldn't lower the ramp, I can see flames down the hellhole in the driver's compartment, and the turret was at 6 o'clock, so when I popped the troop hatch, it only went up a few inches before hitting the main barrel--just enough for me to see the rest of the crew running away.

    Turned out later they were just going to get a tanker bar from the other Bradley to wedge the door handle open. Didn't know that at the time, though, so I kinda spooked and got the adrenaline strength to open it myself. Think I actually bent steel a little, which I know damn well I'm not tough enough to do normally.

    Anyways, yeah, that's my best work story. Sorta. At least it's the one I tell when other people talk about how much their job sucks.
     
  5. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    Why would you assume it was a good experience?

    Of course one was an old man, and the other one was a fat old man with a horribly disgusting skin disease all over his legs.
     
  6. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    This happened while I was working at Dulles Airport as part of the field electrical crew. During one of the horribly snowy winters, I got sent out with one of the regular electricians to repair a burnt-out high voltage junction that took care of a few streetlights on that side of the road. I knew they had turned the circuit off, but when I got to the area where we’d be repairing the junction, I noticed that there was ice and snow everywhere else…and we had just pulled up to this one place where there was a big puddle of water. Now, this was back before I had a comprehensive knowledge of electricity and wiring, so I was under the assumption that all of that water was still electrically charged (which, of course, it wasn’t, since A) the circuit was off and B) there was no way it could have any residual charge since the water was close to ground and any remaining current would have shorted to the dirt anyway.) I thought we were about to use the high voltage grappling pole to open the cover or do some high-follutin’, “keep everyone away from the high voltage short” type of repair.

    I was dumb enough to ask “Is that all water because the shorted junction melted the snow?”

    Electrician, like most electricians, was a man of few words: “Yup. Go open its cover, reach in and pull it out.”
     
  7. OmegaScourge

    OmegaScourge Custom Made TFW2005 Supporter

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    Oops...double post.
     
  8. OmegaScourge

    OmegaScourge Custom Made TFW2005 Supporter

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    i think i read that in one of our reports, i think...but that was long time ago.

    i got to go out once (damn being Intel), being in the last vehicle in the convoy...and on our way back south from Baghdad (somewhat 3hrs into it), i just started to fall asleep...then we hear a big boom, i wake up, and we're hauling ass, the commo goes nuts from everyone calling to see what happened...my heart pounding hard (from being spooked like crap)....but in the end, it was our gunner was using up some ammo.
     
  9. KidDynamite

    KidDynamite don't know nothing Veteran

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    I've told this one before in Toyark, but what the heck.

    Many years ago I used to work at Target. Target had an exclusive Star Wars 12" Biker Scout and Speeder Bike, and there were rumors (true) that it was a short run, very limited exclusive. It was huge and expensive...I think $50 or more if I remember, and it sold for at least double that on ebay at the time.

    Now. Star Wars collectors. They were well known in our store for their tenacious dedication and rudeness. Each of us who worked near the toy department (I was in Electronics) fielded literally dozens of phone calls asking if it was in stock each shift for a couple of months. Imagine that, if you can. We had to take 20, 30, 40 calls about this stupid thing in a 6 or 7 hour shift. Already we were understaffed, trying to help other customers in a busy store, cleaning and straightening, and for me (I was an assistant manager in my department, but without a real department manager, making me a defacto manager without the title or pay) tracking stock levels and other managery things. Most of them were rude and treated us like we were stupid and had no idea what we were talking about. Not the best way to get what you want, nerds. We know damn well what the dumb thing was, most of us had talked to literally hundreds of different people about it. Every single person in the store, from cashiers to floor people to stockers to managers, was intimately aware of the details of this product.

    Well, on top of all the others, we had one particularly tenacious and rude guy who called every hour on the hour. Every day. That's 16 times a day. It did not matter to him that we'd told him 8 previous times that day that it was not in stock and we expected more to come in but didn't have details. He assumed whoever he talked to was stupid and had no idea and would call back hoping to catch someone else. He also seems to genuinely believe that a Target receives multiple trucks all throughout the day, and that merchandise somehow magically gravitates off the trucks and immediately onto shelves as soon as the trucks dock. Of course, generally there was only maybe 2 people at a time on that side of the store, so usually he'd just get transferred back to the same person over and over. Not the sharpest tool in the shed in spite of his smugness, when he was talking to you he would often berate and insult the previous person he'd spoken to the hour before, not realizing that you were that person.

    So. One day I was feeling particularly devious and it was a quiet night, not much going on, and I got an idea after talking to him the first time. I wait an hour and he calls right on schedule. I field it and tell him to let me go check. I set the phone down for a minute, then pick it back up and cheerfully tell him "Yep, we've got ONE. You better hurry". He hurriedly says "hold it for me" as he's hanging up the phone, I can tell he's in a hurry. A couple of minutes later he comes in all blustery and out of breath and tells me he's the guy who called about the Speeder Bike. I smile sweetly and hand him the $5, 10 piece or whatever it was (it was very small) Lego Speeder Bike. He was so furious. His face turned beet red and he started cursing me out and yelling about how stupid I was, so I called security and had him escorted out of the store. He stopped calling, although I heard later he had ALSO been calling other Target stores in the area every hour on the hour too, and didn't stop calling them. Maybe they should have done what I did.
     
  10. Cheetatron

    Cheetatron Eh

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    Jeez that mental image *blarg* Ill never forgive you for this shit, thats some fucked up repugnant shit.

    Classic
     
  11. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    Ohmahgaw. Words cannot describe how LOL-inducing that is. Holy shit, that's hilarious! Sweet, sweet justice has been served. :lol 
     
  12. Trenner Dios

    Trenner Dios Humility > Huge Ego

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    ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SEE IT!!

    Don't give me that mental image crap, I didn't even go into detail about the skin deformity the one guy had....but now I'm tempted to.
     
  13. Smasher

    Smasher HUNKY BEATS

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    Star Wars collectors? Rude? No way!! :lol 

    Well, I remember when I had successfully gotten Microsoft certified and transitioned from the freight industry to the tech industry. I was given a laptop, and I wanted to be made local administrator of it.

    My help desk tech didn't want to do it, so I very idiotically pulled out my Microsoft card and showed it to him as if he and I were part of an exclusive club or something. He looked at me like I had an eyeball in the middle of my forehead and said "I have a wallet full of those."
     
  14. Mr. Jiggles

    Mr. Jiggles loves your mother.

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    I got a blowjob in a QA room once.

    And I burned a hole in my nutsack smoking a cigarette in the bathroom.
     
  15. seeker311

    seeker311 The Collector

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    I have so many: 1) I used to work at a restaurant and got second degree burns, 2) I worked at a club and on father's day 2001 saw a man get shot. I have so many that I could write a book.
     
  16. Omegatron

    Omegatron Mandatory Fun. Buy it now TFW2005 Supporter

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    Hmm...15 to 20 thousand people come through our doors during a given week, so we're bound to get some morons. Like the guy who came up to customer service, wondering why we didn't change all of our movie times with daylight savings time. He believed that we hadn't done so, because his movie had started an hour earlier than the time he'd read in the paper. Naturally, the guy in question had no concept that the movie might be playing in more than one auditorium, and that the show he'd bought a ticket for was on the other side of the building. Nope, it was the daylight savings time that did it.

    We run free kid shows during the summer- G and PG rated movies for parents and kids, absolutely free. However, one customer last week was yelling at us because we charged more for concessions than we did for tickets. Maybe we ought to pay people to take all this damn popcorn off our hands.

    Finally, while working at an IMAX theatre, another manager reports that a customer wasn't happy because they were no longer plaing Superman there, and hadn't advertised the fact. Because, you know, most businesses advertise the products they don't have.
     
  17. wavelength

    wavelength Well-Known Member

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    ok, i work half an hour a day, 6 days a week for a paper round. one week...
    monday- not raining until i get to the shop. then it poors it down until just after i have put my bike in the garage.
    tuesday-see monday
    wednesday- raining all the way through the paper round, and on the way to school as well.
    thursday-monday
    friday-monday
    saturday- again monday, but now the road is covered in an inch of water. and i ride a bike. sao my trowsers get soaked as well as the raincoat.

    though i think my wages went to a commission though :) 
     
  18. smkspy

    smkspy is one nice fucking kitty

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    Man, when I delivered Pizzas I can't even remember all the times customers would tip with either whole joints or letting me sit in on one and eat their pizzas with them.

    I'm tying to remember all my grocery store experiences...
     
  19. jourdo

    jourdo TFW2005 Supporter

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    You win the thread. Jiggles was close... but I think screwing over a "collector" wins this one.
     
  20. Phy

    Phy I want... ROOM SERVICE!!

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    You were tipped with j's, and you can't remember how many times it happened.

    I think there may be some sort of connection here. I can't quite grasp it. Ops? You're a clever guy, what am I missing here?
     

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