I live in a condo and there's a new tenant in the building whose been letting his large dog use the front lawn as a bathroom- and he doesn't clean it up. There are now 15 giant piles of turd all over the front of the building and its utterly disgusting. The other owners in the building are responsible and would never do this- so the solution falls on me.

So I've made it my mission to catch the lazy, inconsiderate, selfish, pathetic dickbag that's doing this. Last night I saw him from my balcony but it was too dark to record him. I dressed up and raced down to confront him and as luck would have it- he vanished before I got there-  

I already know the kind of jackass I'm dealing with. He won't admit to any wrong doing. He won't clean up his own mess. He will lie and deny it when I face him- that is who he is. Just watch. I'm done with people like this and I want a quick, permanent and final solution. No warnings, no typed letters and polite reminders F that BS! People like that do not have enough respect for others to warrant patience and politeness.

I want to scrape up all the feces into a giant vinyl bag, add hot water to liquefy it and press it under his door with a clever note attached. Yes- that would be fair and it would send the right message. Do not use shared space as your personal toilet you worthless idiot.

The city Bylaw enforcement requires a mailing address to star the complaint/fining/clean up process but I have not been able to get the info I need. I've started a conversation with 'the board' but until I have concrete proof, like a photo or a confrontation I can't exactly start filling a revenge bag. I just loathe people like this...

50+ people in this building and only 1 thinks he can do this crap and get away with it.

 

Set up a video security system pointed at the front lawn. If you can see him from your balcony but it was too dark to record, get one of those night-vision systems.

 

I would go with CCTV as well.

Spoiler

Or collect those feces in bag, put it in front of his door, set it on fire, ring the bell and run away hoping that he will try to stomp it, but this method is ill advised.

 

become best friends, lure him into a false sense of security, finagle his key away long enough to get a copy made, then when he's gone start sneaking in and pooping in his house.

 

I would be nice diplomatic about it and not adversarial, he maybe just naive and inconsiderate. If it fails, turn up the heat.

 

If you know what this person is like, I would not confront him, it may not be a wise move.

I would somehow get a picture and get the address and let the bylaw enforcement do their job.

 

Just drill him in the face as soon as you see him.

 

Rats eat dog shit. I bet it’s a building code violation to have that much on the lawn. Call your town’s inspection office. Once the owners of the building start getting slapped with violations and/or fines, I’m sure they will take care of the problem.

 

I won't actually do this (because I have considered everything you've mentioned) but it would be the most satisfying recourse. I don't want to have to snap a photo or video of him- I don't like being that guy- but that is the world we live in. Seldom do people ever fess up to any wrong doing- and I'm all out of polite and diplomatic.

The sneaky weasel only does this at night when no one is around- because that's the kind of person he is. I will do my best to keep my cool if/when I do see him (I've been making a concentrated effort to be watching the front of the property door) but I already know what I'm dealing with. The pure lack of consideration for others is evidence enough- thats how I know. Any responsible dog owner is aware of the Bylaws, and wouldn't want to be turning their front lawn into a dog toilet.

Why me? Sadly, because it has been over 2 weeks and 0 complaints have been logged to the managment company. Dozens of people have gone in and out passing the giant piles of crap everywhere and either A have not noticed or B thought "Ooooh, this is gross, some body else will have to clean it up or do something about it unnnhhh I'm just too lame uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgghghghghhhh." as with most wishy washy, apathetic, lazy, selfish do-nothings.

The reason our building doesn't look like a ghetto shit hole is because I do 2 clean ups a year- I take a large leaf bag and pick up all manner of trash, dead animals, abandoned bikes, food, car parts that roll in from the street, waste, etc.

I've lived in some pretty low income areas before (and so have friends) and never had a clown so blatently disregard the common property to leave such a foul mess. My cats litter goes into the dumpster- it doesn't wind up outside the door because I'm too lazy to take it to where it belongs-  

I can't wait to meet him face to face- any day now.

 

Well, I'm not the best person to ask how to take action, as I'm usually one who avoids conflict. However, people in my apartment complex do the same thing, and it aggravates the hell outta me. I'd say, if you happen to run into them, bring it up and lecture him on it. If they ignore you, get evidence and bring it to the main office, and let them deal with it.

 

I like this idea.

 

While he sounds like a dick, you aren't exactly making yourself sound great either, you daring lawn vigilantee.

Maybe you should just buy a house and have your own yard to worry about.

 

Do you have a condo board? File a complaint through them. Does he have a landlord? File a complaint to them.

Explain that you will be monitoring your property, and if their tenant is responsible, expecting immediate action. If there's any way to imply that you will hold him, and them, responsible for any damage to your property or cleanup costs, that might also be a good idea.

 

Too much effort.

 

This sounds like one of Dwight’s schemes against Jim in The Office.

 

Everything I would suggest would result in a lengthy prison term.

 

Send 5K to my personal untraceable Swiss bank account and I will take care of the problem permanently. No one will ever see that neighbor again and I will make sure the dog gets a good home..after all, its not the dog's fault. See my highly professional ad on Craig's List.

 

Why is this your personal problem? You say you clean up outside twice a year - are you getting compensated for that? If not, why are you doing someone else's job?

Is there signage? Something like a "no dogs allowed on grass" sign on the actual grass? Somewhere he can't possibly miss it?

Sounds like you're getting all huffy and pissed over something that is not only not your problem, but you haven't tried any basic, non-aggressive countermeasures. A polite but firm note on his door could solve the entire problem, something to the effect of "Please do not allow your dog to shit on the common lawn that everyone uses - if he must, pick it up. Signed, everyone else who lives here"

 

Call local code compliance. It is a health hazard. Trust me. Those people LOVE to write people up on that sort of stuff. Gives them a power trip. Use it to your advantage for once.