ben 10 transforms and rolls out

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by onecoolchris, Oct 30, 2008.

  1. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    One day Ben 10 was walking through a forest with his Grandpa Max and cousin Gwen. Then all of the sudden they heard a grinding sound. It sounded like metal against metal. "What is that sound," said Gwen. "Well it's getting major butt whooping," said ben. Then they heard footsteps coming closer and closer until...
    cliffhanger, sorry for the short chapter
     
  2. Star Streaker

    Star Streaker Decepticon

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    Uhhh... does that even qualify for a fanfic, NAY a chapter? *looks in an english book*

    Don't mean to be rude but, that is TOO short to post.
     
  3. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    i know

    i know i'm not a good writer
     
  4. Star Streaker

    Star Streaker Decepticon

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    I never said you wernt a good writer. Hell look at mine, A Streak in the Stars. I cant say your bad. I am terrable. It's just that it was too short to post really.
     
  5. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    you think

    you think the story will still work
     
  6. Star Streaker

    Star Streaker Decepticon

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    Prehaps. It's up to you.
     
  7. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    thanks

    thanks i'll continue
     
  8. mklgf

    mklgf New Member

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    I Agree. It's A Interesting Concept But The Chapter was too short.
     
  9. TF rocks

    TF rocks Try and stop me!

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    Try reading some of the other fanfics here, like mine. Linky in the siggy. Just try to make it longer and more understandable.
     
  10. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    you know

    i meant it to be proaloge
     
  11. deltaprime

    deltaprime The Christian Transfan

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    I've had the idea for a Ben10 Cybertonian form for a while. Probably call him Autoben or something. I've actually got alot of crazy crossover ideas. I won't drill you for a short first chapter since you said it was meant to be just a prologue(or however that's spelled). Anyway, can't wait to see where this is headed.
     
  12. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    sorry

    sorry i forgot to update because i had school i'll try update on christmas break
     
  13. SmokescreenWRX

    SmokescreenWRX Dude. Wait, what?

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    Just a few friendly tips:
    Proofread your first draft, then let someone else read it.
    Don't make any edits unless you're absolutely sure it's needed.
    Pace is important in any story, if it's too fast, you miss things, if it's too slow, you'll lose readers. Character development is also key -- don't get too overwhelmed with details, but we as the readers want to know *why* a character makes the choices they do.
    Above all -- don't take criticism (either positive or negative) to heart.

    Happy writing!
     
  14. David Hingtgen

    David Hingtgen Chromaticon

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    I'm always fond of the Gwen-10 stuff more than Ben (canon and non). Gwencee? Blackagwenia? :) 
     
  15. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    those are great names

    those are great names
     
  16. David Hingtgen

    David Hingtgen Chromaticon

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    Heh heh. After I posted, I thought Gwenarachnia might be better. (and would make for some cool fan-art based on that idea)
     
  17. Takeout

    Takeout Mistress of the Night

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    I've seen cameo appearances that lasted longer than that prologue.
     
  18. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    sorry

    i'm sorry. i'm not doing the story anymore because I totally forgot about it and I don't want that to happen again, but just for you guys I'll think about finishing it, okay. If I don't finish it, maybe you guys finish it in your words right where I left off.
     
  19. mrfang2

    mrfang2 leader of team rejects

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    i can help you write it. just tell me if its the old show or alien force.
     
  20. onecoolchris

    onecoolchris commander in chief

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    old show
     

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