2D Artwork: Beast Wars: Future - Sequentials

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Art' started by Altitron, Jul 5, 2010.

  1. Altitron

    Altitron Commercial Artist

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  2. netkid

    netkid Where's my Goddamn shoe!

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    NICE. Someday I will make my own comic.
     
  3. Superquad7

    Superquad7 We're only human. Super Mod

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    You've already gotten me excited here, Alty! It's looking great so far! :thumb 
     
  4. Altitron

    Altitron Commercial Artist

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    Page 1 update:

    [​IMG]

    I'll be changing Terrorsaur in the fourth panel very soon. I know he's way too big sitting next to Megatron like that.

    - Alty
     

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  5. TGping

    TGping Well-Known Member

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    looking great so far, great line quality on megs in the last panel. Did you do the script for this, and are there going to be word balloons?
     
  6. Altitron

    Altitron Commercial Artist

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    Thanks, TG. Robcbh has written 70 some odd pages for the script. I've sketched up some rough layouts for the first 5 pages of that epic novel of his. And yes, there will be word balloons and text blocks. All of that will be post-production Photoshop work. There will also be a prologue page to lead into the comic itself.

    - Alty
     
  7. Superquad7

    Superquad7 We're only human. Super Mod

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  8. Altitron

    Altitron Commercial Artist

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    Update to page 1:

    [​IMG]

    - Alty
     
  9. TGping

    TGping Well-Known Member

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    Looking very good. An overall thing to keep in mind, be sure to leave enough room for word balloons in each panel. You may want to go ahead and indicate lightly were word balloons would go.

    Then if you feel frisky take it a step further, take into account the 'white space' of word balloons and use them to draw the veiwers eye to the correct place.

    I gotta say I REALLY like the variety in your lines and your overall style here. BUT... I have two minor nitpicks to throw your way :(  In the last panel Meg's head is touching the panel border, creating an awkward tangent.
    And Dinobot's head seems a little out of proportion with his body.

    If the C&C is a little much let me know :)  I am used to recieving and dishing things out from art school :D  ...dont think I made anyone cry though!
     
  10. Altitron

    Altitron Commercial Artist

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    You're fine, TG. I actually think you're being too nice, from one accomplished artist to another.

    These panels were drawn with the text blocks, word balloons, and their respective arrangements all predetermined. I can pencil in rough ovals if you'd like. I don't know what you mean by 'white space', though.

    I've grown aware of the general no-no in regards to how Megatron's head intersects/borders the top of the panel, but I'm at a loss as to how to correct it. Should I draw his head beyond the boundary of the panel? Should I lower the pane so that it runs even deeper below his head? Should I raise the boundary, and provide some clearance between the two? I value your opinion.

    I can't say I agree with you about Dinobot, but then again, you didn't specify exactly how the head is out of proportion. Too big or too small? Off-center? Too low?

    Thanks again, TG.

    - Alty
     
  11. TGping

    TGping Well-Known Member

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    Alright Alty! I'll speak more plainly :) 

    I think DB's head is too big, or his foreshortened hand is too small. One thing to help with that is to have his arm/hand farther from his body so it doesn;t blend in with it. Think of keeping the silhouette stronger.

    TO fix megs head, I was thinking of making that panel border just horizontal from its starting point on the left side. Some creative rearranging would be in order. From a story telling point of view there really isn't a reason for the angled panel borders. So since its not really needed to emphasize anything I say go for a more traditional panel layout, and keep things rectangular.

    Can't wait to see the rest!
     
  12. Altitron

    Altitron Commercial Artist

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    Update:

    [​IMG]

    Nearly done, I think...

    - Alty
     
  13. TGping

    TGping Well-Known Member

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    Looking great!

    Crits:
    - to keep continuity consistent you want to flip the second panel so the ship is facing the other way. That way it faces the same way as the one in the las panel. Continuity not only refers to prose but to story telling. Specifically this is visual continuity :) 

    -Since you are already cropping the ship's wing off in the last panel, you may as well enlarge it more so that it looks even closer to us, since we already get a pretty clear view of it in the second panel I think the trade in dynamism and drama are worth it.

    And a clarification on the 'white spaces' from before. When word balloons are put on the page they are almost always a white feild with black lettering. And so it would naturally create areas of contrast with things that are colored or are gray-scaled. So essentially you have to think of them as part of the composition and plan accordingly. You said you were already accounting for them, so I dont think you really have to worry about them, and if you do I'll definitely let you know :D 
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2010
  14. Robcbh

    Robcbh Well-Known Member

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    I dont think that necessarily the case, considering 2 things. I think the angle on the bottom panel Darksyde is just enough that it looks like it is still moving in the same same direction(to its right), albeit maybe a bit more slowly or more wide because they have taken damage. Also take into consideration they were just surprised fired on by a ship. They may have quickly tried to avoid more shots.


    I totally agree with this point however. The you can add extremely detailed characters through the windows.
     
  15. TGping

    TGping Well-Known Member

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    Robcbh- I dunno, that's a bit of a stretch, if he wants to keep the current layout he might need to do more work than flipping a panel in photoshop. The reason is, Alty has to take in the lowest common denominator of his audience. Which means he needs to keep the story telling clear, and to keep the current layout he'll need to add some indication of the ship being ambushed, then changing directions. Otherwise part of the audience will be confused. Really you need to underestimate the audience or they won't 'get it'. Which could in turn lead to an inset panel which would suck, because there is no reason whatsoever to have an inset panel.

    Alty doesn't have to take my advice, but visual continuity is important, and often overlooked by professionals in the feild. He has a chance to easily solidify his storytelling and I stand by that.

    Other advantages of having the ship face the right is it will make it seem like its going faster, at least to audiences that read from left to right. And having the first thing on the page face left immediately in the beginning of the story takes a person out of the story by halting their reading flow. The ship facing left is also out of continuity with the crew since they all face the right when we go to interior views. Its like they all belong somewhere else.

    Sorry for the long winded response, but broken continuity has bothered me for some time now, and reading mainstream comics doesn't help at all. But watching well directed movies does help, watch an old John Wayne movie and you'll see all sorts of glorious continuity :) 


    As far as seeing the crew of the ship, excellent idea!
     
  16. Altitron

    Altitron Commercial Artist

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    I think it's a good point you make in regards to maintaining the arrangement of the ships throughout the page. I think it would look better for the ship in the second panel to be facing to the right. That way it doesn't feel like it is going against the flow of normal eye direction when reading.

    I'll have to take another look at the Darksyde and see what I can do to make it more interesting in relation to the Axalon.

    Thanks, TG.

    I tried doing this initially in the third panel, but I didn't like it in the end because the space I was working with was so small. I'll have another go at it in the last panel, where I have a lot more room to work. We'll see how it goes.

    - Alty
     
  17. Superquad7

    Superquad7 We're only human. Super Mod

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    Alty, Megatron's head SO close to that panel border really creates some unnecessary tention, I think.

    Also, since we're discussing the ship, I think that maybe an angled shot would give a more of a dynamic shot. That's really minor, I'd think though.

    Honestly, I think once the piece has some colors and such, it'll really pop a lot visually :) 

    Man, keep up the awesome work! :thumb 
     
  18. dsn1014

    dsn1014 41:75:74:6f:62:6f:74

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    I really enjoy the level of detail you hit with your work. Looking forward to seeing this progress.
     
  19. Altitron

    Altitron Commercial Artist

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    You're right. TG mentioned it earlier. I took care of that before I drew the last panel. I just scanned it by itself and pasted it onto the previous update. Lazy FTW. :) 

    - Alty
     
  20. Superquad7

    Superquad7 We're only human. Super Mod

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    No way man! That's one of the beauties of Photoshop and other computer programs. Instead of having to draw the whole illustration all over again, you can fix things like that so very easily now (which is why I suggested it).

    Again, keep up the great work! It's so great to see a sequential page from this project. :) 
     

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