Not sure how good this will be, and is mostly a test to see if anyone would be interested; but I am trying to do something different with the concept then just a retelling of the original. I'm looking for comments, ideas, or suggestions on how to improve it. ----- In a darkened room a grizzled old robot with dull faded silver armor sits watching an orb before him, showing a group of robots fighting. A red and Blue distract a large green one with an ax throw. While a purple and black female cocoons the large green one in a sticky substance, before a large explosion is set off destroying most the island around them. "The final players are ready to join us." he speaks in a low aging voice as the explosion happens, speaking to a pair of of robots in the same room with him. The first one is what could be best described as 'cute and fluffy'. with the brown fur that blends with the blue and white metal of his body. His face looks rather young and inexperienced almost like he was fresh off the assembly line. He flips up a green visor that he had been using to monitor the proceedings himself to reveal his blue optics and smiles. "Oh what astounding news! Finally our mission can truly begin! Yes, I can't wait to meet Spiderlady!" He laughs joyfully. The one next to him is taller and lankier robot, looking more monstrous with his claw like hands, and the extra eight limbs that hand off his back in a cloak-like fashion. He looks to the younger robot, his eight green eyes blink in unison. "Oh I wisssh you were sssso sssslagging happy all the time. It unnervesss even me." He says with a slight hiss as his mandibles move along with his mouth. He gaze shifts from the younger robot to the elder in the room. "Ssso what are we sssupposed to do with thessse new pawnsss? Itsss not like I don't have a tough enough time with that delusssional dinosssaur..." "They will arrive on the planet within the hour. The female will be found by the Maximals, much to her dismay. The Wasp will slink off to repair himself; he has an usual healing ability. Make sure that the Predacons find him. The pair hold the key to our mission and opening up the path to our future. I just hope that things will unfold before our situation grows worse. No please, take your leave. My bringing them here has exhausted my circuits and I need to rest." "Yes sir!" the pair reply in unison and disappear into the darkness. ------- In the middle of a dense prehistoric looking jungle, there is a sudden bright flash that captures the attention of a group of four beasts. In the trees above them, a rather large looking raccoon sits and watch with bright blue eyes. "Hey guys, what was that?" The cheetah asks eagerly before he starts to run off in the direction of the flash. "Oh would you cool your heels already, pussycat? Rhinox detected some sort of abnormal energy and were supposed to be escorting him to its point of origin!" The rat complains grumpily. "Oh lighten up, Rattrap. Everyone knows Escort missions are the most annoying thing ever. Rhinox can take care of himself, Bigbot's with him. And maybe this flash is the thing he detected!" The Cheetah replies, not waiting for Rattrap to follow. "Even more reason we should be cautious!" Rattrap complains and slumps. "Kids... Who did I piss off in a past life to get stuck babysitting kids all day!" He grumbles to himself and scurries after the Cheetah. Behind him a large Rhino and Ape run after them. "You could at least wait up for us!" Rhinox yells as he chases after the pair. "You know how those two are. With the Predacons around were all in danger as even one of them is more then a match for us." The Ape replies with a bit of a chortle. "Yeah, I know; and Cheetor sees this as his chance to prove himself a warrior and hero and join the Elite Guard. That's not the problem, the energy signal of that flash matches up with the signals I got this morning. Those two could be running into danger!" Rhinox replies, seeming even grumpier then Rattrap. "Right, Never can be just a simple mission can it? Well lets get a move on." The Ape replies with a sigh. With a lunge, Rattrap tackles Cheetor to the ground. "Hey! Watch it1 What are you doing!" Cheetor growls "Stopping you from doing something stupid! Just look at the size of those things!" "Yeah, but one's scattered across the field and the other is unconscious! We'll be fine." "Do either of your to bumblebrains know how to wait?" Rhinox grumbles as he walks closer to the unconscious female. This is interesting..." He grumbles and the other three quickly join him in looking to the feminine spider-like robot, who starts to stir. "Ugh..." She says softly, her red optics blinking as she looks to quartet of animals. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me..." She says with a sigh and slowly stands up. "Just what I need, MORE Organics... Now where did that Wasp get to? He's my only way back." "Back where?" Cheetor asks stepping forward before Rattrap can stop him. "Back to my la... Wait who said that?" Black Archnia asks quickly turning around. "I did, surely you've seen other Transformers before." Cheetor replies and transforms into a long lanky robot, with a cat-like face. Black Archnia blinks her four eyes as she studies Cheetor, and then smiles devilishly. "Amazing. I never expected that there were other techno-organic hybrids like myself... This could make things much easier." Cheetor looks two the others behind him. "Come on out, It's okay. She doesn't seem to want to slag us!" Rattrap sighs and looks to the others. "We're all gonna die, aren't we?" He asks before Transforming into a short skinny robot, his face having vague ratlike features as well as what looks like an exposed brain under a glass dome. Rhinox and the Ape follow suit. Rhinox becoming a Short stocky robot; looking much older then the others, the Rhino head laying flush against his chest. Two small horns adorn his forehead. The Ape is the tallest of the group, having a rather average build compared to the others. Unlike the others he doesn't have his animal head displayed on his chest. Upon seeing him Black Archnia's mood changes quickly. "OPTIMUS! What are /you/ doing here?" She Sneers and charges at him. "I thought you said she wasn't gonna slag us!" Rattrap yells and ducks for cover. The Ape Robot quickly pulls out a pair of long swords taking up a guarding stance. Blocking her with the flat sides as not to harm her. "Optimus? How do you know my Ancestor? My name is Primal." Black Archnia calms down some, though is still leery of the Ape in front of her. "Primal? What kind of dopey name is that?" "Get me angry and find out." He replies bluntly. "Now why do you sound like you know my Ancestor personally?" "How could he be your Ancestor; I just seen him and that other jerk Sentinel just a few moments ago." Rhinox blinks in realization as everything starts to click together for him. "By the the Allspark, You're Black Archnia... But the history records said you were obliterated in an explosion saving them from the rogue Autobot Wasp. But how could you be here... that was over 5,000 deca-cycles ago. A rather jovial chuckle sounds from the tree above them as the blue-eyed Raccoon jumps down to join them. "Isn't obvious! Explosion mustsa blew the Spiderlady here! So awesome to get to witness a living part of history!" The raccoon exclaims as he shifts into his robot mode, the same as the young robot earlier. He flips up his green visor and looks over her with wide-eyed admiration. "So much we could learn form her!" He says and clasps his hands together. "Heinlad, its about time you joined us. I really wish you would stop disappearing on your team like you do." Primal says with a sigh. "Oh, I am so sorry Bigbot, but I just can't explore this world we crashed on. There is so much to see and learn if you just took the time to see beneath the surface." "Could you get this little rat away from me?" Black Archnia sneers, not caring for being talked about like she's should be preserved in a museum. "I am not the rat, Spiderlady. I am the Raccoon. That grumpy one over there is the Rat!" Heinlad laughs playfully and points towards Rattrap. "Regardless, it would be better to discuss this back at the base before were found." Primal replies before Rattrap can pipe up and start an argument. "Oh, I am afraid that it is too late for that Primal. We've already found your band of merry Maximals." Says a deep purple and silver robot that towers over all the others. He points a dripping plasma sword towards the Maximals "Now it is time for you to hand over the driver, so that I can finally get off this rock!"
Impressive This story is impressive and well written. Funny thing is I've been planning to do a photocomic with a similar beginning. Although many people probably have the same idea after watching "Predacons Rising".
Yeah, I'm kinda surprised I seem to be the first. I've spent the weekened planning out the basics of how to do it without it being a retread and keeping the animated spirit. I'm combining elements of various eras of TFs, espically all the Beast Era series. Not sure how far it will go; right now I'm mostly seeing if people would actually be interested in this or if I'd just be writting it for myself.
I've just started writing the script for my Beast Wars Animated comic. I'm thinking I might need to make a plot outline before I finish the whole first script.
For those interested in this still, I've gotten back into writing. I'll be updating this Soon-ish. Sorry it took so long, My old computer died and I lost everythign, and it killed my mood but I've recently felt like starting again. So look for Episode 2, later this month if not Early Jan.
It's not too bad at all. Interesting given I had expressed my desire to write a Beast Wars Animated in the fanfic group. I had a much different origin in mind however. Megatron and Optimus were the same from Animated but in newly obtained beast modes.
I'm actually surprised that I still seem to be the only one that's done this. I got this idea in my head shortly after the episode first aired. My mind wouldnt let it go, and shortly after I wrote this, sorta as a 'Proof of Concept' to see how well it would go over. Then my computer died and I lost all I'd written for the next part. But this week I got the urge to write; and this is on my list of next to update. I'm not sure of everyone's background, though Rattrap might be Rattletrap. I'm sorta going for a "Wizard of Oz" type angle, with Blackarchia waking up and finding all these people that are very reminiscent of people she actually knew.
Rattletrap was definately Rattrap in my idea. He would have been serving a community service sentence for all his shady dealings on Cybertron.
Alright, after several set backs and a long time thinking over things; I have an update! Not a new Chapter yet. That will come later. I recently woke up in the middle of the night thinking about this, specifically the cast and the world. As such I've been slowly hammering out my ideas. As such I've got a brief version of the back story to the Beast Wars, as well as bios, and the hint of things to come. I'm not sure how well all this will link up with the original chapter, but I finally know where I am going to go and have been merging ideas from various versions of the Beast Era. I have also included the first fan character in the series, one of our own that seems very obvious. I feel that I will likely get some flack for not including one American Beast Wars character, but I felt that his arc in this would either end up being too much or a retread or not true enough to the character, so I included a similar character that I felt I might have more freedom with as I doubt he's as popular. Also, Cyberwolf, I hope you don't mind that used the 'community service' idea for Rattrap. Back story: Ever since the final battle with the Decepticons and their feared leader Megatron, ended Cybertron has been at peace, with the Decepticon leader’s believed death. Records of the end of the war are however, faulty due to the havoc caused during the war, when the Cybertron Intelligence Agency’s leader LongArm Prime is revealed to be a Decepticon traitor, which lead to a mass overhaul of the system. In peace Cybertron’s prospered and grew greatly renowned through the Galaxy, but as with all great societies, it the seeds of decent were sewn. Lower class bots began seeing the Elite Guard as becoming corrupt and bloated, bullying the weaker while growing weak and useless themselves without a threat to combat. And a threat did rise. At first just a group of rabble and miscreants the rebel threat grew stronger, and eventually took a name for its self. They called themselves, The Predacons. A group formed in the spirit of the old Decepticons. Starting to believe that maybe Megatron was right about the Autobots that ruled Cybertron. And at the center of this movement there was a new Megatron. Many rumors surround him. Some say that he is the original Megatron, that we was never killed and only placed in a deep stasis lock. Others believe that he is the Descendent of the original, looking to avenger the wrongs committed against his predecessor. The ‘official’ story from the Elite guard is that he simply a mech with delusions of grandeur, and has taken the name of Megatron to inflate his ego and grain support and frighten civilians. Regardless of his origins, this Megatron struck many blows against the Elite Guard, and with each victory his power and popularity grew, and so did The Predacon movement. A new war seemed to be on the horizon, and its first battle would be fought over the most prominent symbol of the Elite guard, their central base: Fortress Maximus. The battle was long and fierce, and it was here that Megatron met the bane of his existence; Primal Prime, the ‘One Mech Army.’ The strongest and most heavily armed fighter the Elite Guard has. Primal Prime’s immense power while enraged drove off Megatron and his Personal guard. Not intent to let Megatron escape while he was on the run, Ursa Magnus placed Primal Prime in charge of a crew to hunt down and bring this Megatron to justice just like his predecessor Optimus had done so long ago. Realizing that they would need an trump card if they were to beat the Elite Guard, Megatron set out to find the Decommissioned Omega Supreme when Primal Prime came after him. After a fierce space Megatron’s Tran warp drive exploded and caught both his and Primal’s crews in the blast warping them to a strange unknown world, with little hope of rescue. Cast: Maximals: Primal Prime - Member of the Elite Guard and Leader of the Maxium crew, named and renowned for his ability to go into a ‘Primal Rage’ when angered. Despite his anger, Primal has a good spark, and will protect the things he cares about no matter the cost. He finds himself taxed by his crew most the time, feeling that they were specifically chosen to push his buttons. He’s not the most experienced leader and is used to be a loner; having made a name for himself as a ‘One Mech Army’. After Megatron’s retreat at the Battle of Fortress Maximus, He was placed in charge of a crew to hunt down the rebel leader and bring him to Justice. Rhinox - A constantly cranky Doctor, who despite his profession is also the powerhouse of the team. Feared for his strength, but respected for how he can easily prefer even the most delicate of operations. He also believes himself to be the most sane and level headed member of the crew, as he is usually the one that keeps things from falling apart, both figuratively and literally. Like Primal, he doesn’t really seem to like the team he has been stuck with, especially the enigma that is Heinlad, who shows him up at every opportunity. Rattrap - Better known as Rattletrap, Cheetor gave him the name ‘Rattrap’ after they landed and he scanned a rat as his alternate mode, the others felt the name was fitting due to his reputation as a dirty rat that would sell his motherboard for a pack of Energon. Placed on the team by Elite Guard Leader Ursa Magnus, for community service after being caught in his latest scandal of selling classified info about Fortress Maximus to a sleazy Predacon thief trying to make a name for himself. No one on the team really trusts him, and believes that he’d defect to the Predacons the first chance he gets, so they try to keep him on a short leash. Cheetor - The youngest member of the team, eager to win and wanting to prove himself at any price. This makes him almost as bad as Rattrap, if he didn’t believe he was doing it for all the right reasons. After all, the Predacons aren’t going to play fair, then why should he? His ideals constantly puts him at odds with Rattrap who is only using his skills because he’s forced to. He was named Cheetor by Rattrap, in one of their arguments. Who claimed it was fitting he scanned a cheetah when he’s always such a lousy Cheater. Heinlad - A rather odd addition to the crew by the Cybertron Council., though no one really knows who appointed him. A very eccentric and excitable young mech, who seems oddly aloof and seems to simple vanish into thin air at times. Rhinox strongly distrusts him, as Heinlad always seems to know more about everything going on then he lets on, even being able to repair things that even Rhinox would have trouble with. He is mostly tolerated because the crew does agree that things always seem to go right when he’s around. He seems to have an odd fascination with Black Archnia. Black Archnia - Formerly known as Elita One, until an becoming horrible disfigured in an Accident making her into a Techno-organic being. She has since pursued ways to make herself normal once again, as she runs from her past and those that might help her because she believes they left her to die. This lead to the creation of the monstrous Waspinator, in efforts to understand her condition by trying to recreate it. Seemingly sacrificing herself to save her friends from an explosion transported her and Waspinator to this strange new world we people very familiar to those they used to know. Black Archnia forms an uneasy alliance with the Maximals, after Waspinator continues to prove to be a real threat to her for what she did. Ursa Magnus - Leader of the Elite Guard, known for being a ‘bear of a mech’. Under his command Cybertron has seen its longest era of Peace yet. After seeing Primal’s performance at the Battle of Fortress Maximus, It was his idea to place Primal Prime in command of a small team to groom the so-called 'One Mech Army' as an eventual replacement Magnus when he retires. Vector Prime - He is believed to be a myth, one of the oldest known Transformers dating back to an original thirteen. Very few believe that he exists, and even fewer believe that he is a master of time and space; or that he is an unseen guiding hand to the development of the transformer race that legend states. Even though throughout the years that have been reports of an elderly golden knight appearing around major turning points in history that guided the influential figures of their day. These are widely panned by the CIA as the though of being the same person, and that any similarities between these knights and ‘Vector Prime’ are coincidental. Predacons: Megatron - A cunning and ruthless leader, who quickly made a name for himself for those disillusioned with the rule of the Elite Guard, and has become a boogeyman to the rest of the populous, his name spoken only in hushed tones for fear of his name bringing him forth. While he initially cursed his ‘exile’ on whatever planet this is, he believes He has found the trump card that he was looking for. In the wreck of a strange ship he found an alien device, some kind of strange ‘driver’. Brief examination shows it to several co-ordinates that he believes will lead him to an ancient technology that he can use to return to Cybertron and finish off this ‘Beast War’ once and for all. Unfortunately for him, Primal’s crew captured in in the battle, and now he will do anything to reclaim it. Terrorsaur - Too call Terrorsaur Power Hunger or opportunistic is an understatement. He’ll jump at the chance for even the smallest bit of power, and fight to the death over any bit of power he does gain. So it was natural that he’d fall in with the Predacons, where his skills in battle quickly promoted him through the ranks to Megatron’s Personal guard. But even this is not enough for Terrorsaur, wanting to gain control of the Predacons. He wishes to be the first to get a hold of the alien driver and use whatever technology it leads him to, to reformat himself in a larger more powerful form so that Megatron will be the one bowing to him. Tarantulus - An enigmatic mad scientist, who appeared in Megatron’s Personal Guard one day. Not even Megatron himself can recall when or why he appointed the seemingly crazed mech, but finds him too useful to get rid of. Tarantulus is capable of building just about anything, little seems to be beyond his talents; when he is around, which seems to most infuriate Megatron as the spider only seems to be around when needed most. The other Predacons believe he’s got his owns agenda, with Inferno being the most suspicious him, believing him to be more of a threat then Terrorsaur. Tarantulus has recently grown interested in the being known as Waspinator, especially the transwarp energies of his body and convinces Waspinator to join the Predacons. Inferno - Inferno was the first person Megatron appointed to his personal guard. A former mercenary known across the galaxy, he was to be executed by the Elite Guard. Megatron seeing the benefit of having such a warrior in his ranks staged one of his riots and freed him. Since then Inferno has never left Megatron’s side. Inferno will do anything for Megatron, Sometimes not seeming to have any other though in his processor except for pleasing Megatron and will blindly follow all orders to the letter. Waspinator - Waspinator is likely to be the unluckiest mechs in the universe. Starting life as Wasp, the most promising student in his class a Autoboot Camp, only to be branded a traitor by several of his classmates. He spent years locked away in an Autobot prison, slowly driven mad by the truth of his innocence and that no one would believe him. Eventually managing to escape when one of the elite guard forgot to lock his cell, he made a break for it and to hunt down the one that had locked him away. Finding him on Earth, he attempted to steal the life of his tormentor, but was soon discovered. He soon discovered Black Archnia, a femme with a similar tortured past as him, and convinced him to become stronger through her experiments to finally have his revenge on those that wronged him, and so Waspinator was born. A hulking monstrous techno organic wasp. But his happiest over his upgrade wasn’t to last, when he heard he was just being used. He was so mad, he could just explode. And he did. His explosion rocked the island, and transported him and the Black Archnia to this strange world where he once again falls victim to the interest of a Spider, the mad Tarantulus. Bazooka - Next to Inferno, Bazooka is Megatron’s most trusted warrior. Fiercely loyal and more honorable then most Autobots, Bazooka is mech to be both respected and feared, as once he makes a promise to carry out something, he becomes dedicated to its accomplishment despite any harm that might come to his body. With his thick armor and massive strength Bazooka is a force to be reckoned with. His only weakness being his expectations of others, believing everyone should be as honorable as he is and can be easily lead astray by those that fail to meet them.
Hmm, interesting that you included Heinrad/lad in your cast. And it sounds like you've borrowed some characteristics from Big Convoy for Primal Prime. You can tell i'm a BW Neo fan. This story seems like a really good idea, thrusting TFA BA into a BW future world.
When I thought of it, a person who gets their name from their Rage; Big Convoy seemed a natural choice. It also allows for a bit of a diffrent take on a 'Prime grows into a leader' arc, then what is usually presented. Heinlad, I orginally included him becuase at the time I first wrote this I had just gotten his toy. But he also fills a role. My version is fairly heavily inspired by David Tennent's take on the Doctor, with maybe a bit of Hiro thrown in. Bit surprised you didn't comment on Bazooka's use since he was also a Neo character. I was alternating on him or Archadis, and decided to go with him to have a character sorta like Dinobot, and the thought Archadis would be too much like a effeminine Terrorsaur. What might not be so easily noticable, is that Inferno is another Amalgam character. He takes elements from BW2 Autostinger and might be a bit closer to Lugnut in personality.
Ah, i see you know you Japanese BW stuff, Dark Law. I'm skimming through my memories for Bazooka...oh he's that armoured dinosaur that Big Convoy trashed along with Crazybolt in one Neo ep right? I agree with you on how Big Convoy was a refreshing different take on the usual presentation of Convoy/Prime leaders. He was fascinatingly anti-social. You wonder how he became a Convoy with that loner attitude. This is something i kinda wanted to write a fic on myself actually. Excellent work and creativity with picking interesting characteristics from various BW characters here. Hope to see this continue!
I don't know it as well as the Japanese G1 stuff, and I admit to looking through the Wiki for some of the Neo characters as I don't it as well as BW2, and it had alot more 'one off' characters. Bazooka is indeed the Ankyliosuarus, doubt I have that spelt right. When I read that he was an Honor-bound Predacon, without much exposure he felt perfect, as I felt their was no way I could do Justice to Dinobot. And since you mentioned him; Crazy Bolt is the Predacon theif mentioned in Rattrap Bio. I might have him show up proper in the series at somepoint being sorta a Swindle-esque type character. He'd end up having an interesting chemestry with Rattrap, I think. The wonderful thing about the Japanese BW series is that there are several really great ideas and characters that can make for interesting stories, or just went completely untapped. The second chapter is coming along rather nicely. I might actually have it up by the end of the week, if Christmas doesn't get too distracting.
