Apology to victims of Autism-spectrum disorders

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Bryan, Jul 31, 2011.

  1. Sage o' G-fruit

    Sage o' G-fruit Critics gonna critique

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    Oh man. :lol 

    I would love it if you could believe that I'm Tycho. That would be great.
     
  2. smkspy

    smkspy Remember true fans

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    Oh this thread just got so good.

    I dunno Bryan, I've known you a long time on here, and you've never come across as the type of person to just accept something so, well,... convenient, to explain something about yourself. And that's what Aspergers can be for many, a convenient way to reason why you may behave odd or differently from others. Look at some of the responses on here. "Oh I'm shy in social situations" It's cause of aspergers. "I like dinosaurs alot when most people don't" It's cause of Aspergers. I have the feeling that the psychiatrist that diagnosed you must have been pretty hot, I could see this thread being totally opposite in its intent.
     
  3. Triple Melter

    Triple Melter EGG GANG™

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    lollers. Got some bad news about all those elves in WoW
     
  4. Sage o' G-fruit

    Sage o' G-fruit Critics gonna critique

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    Exactly. For me, Bryan actually changing his opinion on anything (and apologizing no less) is just one hell of a pill to swallow.
     
  5. DethPike

    DethPike Master of Sinanju

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    I always thought Aspergers was just an excuse for socially inept folks to get away with acting like jerks.
     
  6. Goaliebot

    Goaliebot All Makes and Models

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    OK, I'm gonna share something.

    No, I don't have Aspergers.


    My son does.

    He's 9, he's a great little guy, and two Psychiatrists have now independently diagnosed him with it. We didn't seek this diagnosis out. We didn't "seek out some easy answer to excuse our little brat's bad behavior". We sought help on the advice of several people who witnessed, as we did, our little guy's constant struggles with understanding the subtleties of social interaction and other people's emotions (positive or negative).

    This is the little boy who would look at a strangers baby and, if it really was ugly, tell said stranger matter-of-factly "your baby isn't very attractive, is it?". And he was baffled and upset when said stranger would react poorly. "But it wasn't a cute baby, Daddy, I wasn't lying, was I?". He wasn't, and he meaned no harm. But at 8 years old and very smart, he knew something was wrong.

    He tries so hard. He's incredibly smart with maths and sciences - this boy is 9 and reads astronomy textbooks for fun. He loves to play with other kids but invariably ends up accidentally pissing them off or alienating them, and it breaks his heart EVERY TIME.

    He struggles with strange ticks and quirks - he can't have any wet spots on his clothes, yet he loves to swim. He can't take very loud noises, so he has to wear noise-cancelling headphones at loud events. He was wearing them at Universal Studios last year when one of the "cast members" very kindly made fun of him to his face. Thanks Popeye, for the memories.

    And yes, by golly I read the same internet idiot kids and teens self-diagnosing themselves with "Assburgers" and using it as an excuse to be selfish idiots. I see it and it pisses me off to no end to watch people lie and fake something so real that we deal with every day just so they can mope and be jerks. But I don't use those idiots as a reason to dismiss real Aspergers (diagnosed properly, by professionals).

    We have books and books on real Aspergers. He goes to "social therapy" where they teach him how to interact with people and read emotions. We work with him every day, neither coddling him but also never becoming those "yelling" parents who can't cope. He is on no medication - there is no medication for Autism-Spectrum disorders. Just therapy and teaching them, and getting support from educators and fellow parents where needed. We struggle every day, but we love him to pieces.

    He has a baby sister and he is SO kind and gentle with her. He understands babies, they are so clear with communicating how they feel. They cry when unhappy and smile/laugh when happy. There is no tone to read, no facial cues, no social situations. One day we overheard him talking to his baby sister, telling her not to cry, that everything would be OK... and then he confided in her that he too feels sad sometimes because he doesn't have many friends because he has "the asperger brain" and people don't like him.

    And my wife and I cried and cried.

    So you know what, Bryan? Don't you dare lie about this. Don't you dare make this some giant evil trolling where you try to prove there's no such thing as Aspergers. Just don't.

    IF you are telling the truth, then I have some real helpful things I can say and share. But if you are trolling on this... just stop. It isn't funny to a parent like me who watches a wonderful little boy struggle every day with real Aspergers. He doesn't want to have it. He wishes he was normal. He tries so hard.

    Is he faking? Is he simply looking for attention or an excuse to be a jerk?

    Tell me.
     
  7. TFXProtector

    TFXProtector TFW2005 Supporter

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    This just about broke my heart. And this is why I said I think this one giant trolling thread. As Bryan said, I'm no expert. I never claimed to be. I've known people who have Asperger's and this post explains it perfectly. I don't have to be an expert. I'm someone who just opened their eyes and paid attention.

    If this turns out to be a joke, I hope there's a punishment involved.
     
  8. Transquito

    Transquito Reach For The Light

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    *salutes Goaliebot*
     
  9. Chrono Grimlock

    Chrono Grimlock Buttstuff Werewolf

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    Don't. Don't you dare speak for anyone else. Don't you dare say someone needs punishment.
     
  10. G1Wheeljack

    G1Wheeljack Well-Known Member

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    I really hope this is sincere, as I have been diagnosed with Aspergers since I was in 1st Grade and it has made my life quite difficult at times, so I get offended when people say thing like it's not real and it's just an excuse. I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt here though and wish Bryan the best of luck dealing with work.
     
  11. yodafett

    yodafett Well-Known Member

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    Yeah. Did you read the part where he's speaking for himself? That's what the "I hope" implies. His own hopes and desires. And he's not alone in that hope.


    I do not have much direct experience with Aspergers, but I do have a relative with a different autism spectrum disorder (Rett Syndrome), and joking about having ANY condition like that is not even remotely funny. I like Bryan and tend to agree with a lot of what he says, even if not HOW it's said... but this kind of thing is not a laughing matter, period.
     
  12. power3921

    power3921 Well-Known Member

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    You basicly just described me at that age, before I met several wonderfull people who understand and were able and willing to help. The tgeacher for the special education class i was put in in 4th grade was checking in on me for years, several teachers from middleschool still check in on me now that im in high school. You sound like an amazing parent, and your child is lucky to have someone who loves and wants to help, no matter how hard it can be. I still dont know how my parents have been able to be so good with me.
     
  13. Cavshock

    Cavshock Well-Known Member

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    Are they going to ship you home to get it straightened out or is your commander gonna sweep it under the rug to keep you in country?
    Keep your chin up Troop, everything happens for a reason.

    Chuck
     
  14. Chrono Grimlock

    Chrono Grimlock Buttstuff Werewolf

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  15. yodafett

    yodafett Well-Known Member

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    Fair enough about that, lol
     
  16. Chaos Muffin

    Chaos Muffin Misadventure Veteran

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    Does'nt the illness become worse when someone constantly repeats to themselves that there's something wrong with them?

    Some people have Cancer, but they've never used it for an excuse. They used it for a reason to fight and live harder.
     
  17. Scrapper6

    Scrapper6 Lord of Constructicons

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    I find this comment rather ignorant in the whole. For one thing comparing Cancer to anything on the Autism Spectrum is impossible. Cancer is a terminal life-altering illness 9 times out of 10. Autism and others on the Autistic Spectrum are life-altering, but they are nowhere near as debilitating in the physical sense.

    Constantly repeating something as truth after being told by a responsible professional with knowledge on the subject does not mean you're going to get 'worse' you can't get 'worse' when you have Autism or Aspergers or anything related to them. You can build your expectations too high, you can stroke your ego a little bit too much, but you can not make yourself 'worse'.

    And if you think someone with Aspergers doesn't try their hardest to live according to the values they hold then you don't know much about the subject matter at hand. It is a constant struggle because those of us with Aspergers need to work doubly hard in order understand social niceties and things and keep them in mind at every turn. To avoid blowing up in rage or sorrow and suffer harsh emotional breakdowns.

    The problem is these so-called sufferers of Aspergers who completely act like douchebags just because they claim they have this affliction, that is not how a person with Aspergers behaves. At least not how any of the people I've known with the affliction act in public, in person or online, and I count myself among them. Sure sometimes I can be a jerk as I already said, but that is not because of Aspergers, it is because I overreact or let my emotions control how I respond to someone's blatantly frustrating comment.
     
  18. Creaky

    Creaky King of Puppies

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    Aspie here chiming in to say that's very true. If anything for me it works in quite the opposite way that some people who claim to have it works - I see that being a dick makes my life more difficult, therefore the logical thing to do is not be a dick. Being confrontational just upsets me anyway, on the few occassions I let my emotions rule me I end up coming away feeling upset, even if I've 'won' (whatever that means). Which leads me to suspect that those who use it as an excuse to be arsey (online and offline) are probably self-diagnosed, badly diagnosed, or simply want to be diagnosed.

    I think it's the new 'All the cool kids are self-harming, so I'll do it too'. It's a genuine condition (in the case of self harm, also a problem), but people lynch onto it like parasites and make everyone with the condition look like jerks. It also helps make it look like a problem, when in all honesty it's really not. Not for me, anyway. I also never use it as an excuse - I really don't like talking about it at all (took a few minutes to decide whether to post this): I'm me, and that's made up of lots of things, my mental 'wiring' is just a part of that. (Although, I think it makes me more predisposed to toy collecting - much rather play with toys then spend time with people. ;) )

    Also, Bryan: you may have been told this already, but I'll mention it anyway - it shouldn't effect your work. If you have Aspergers, you've had since day one, and it's not stopped you yet. Nothing needs to change, I hope your boss understands that. :) 
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2011
  19. smkspy

    smkspy Remember true fans

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    Wait, How did you go from thinking you MAY have Aspergers to grouping yourself with those have been diagnosed? I certainly hope the above was just a typo on your part.
     
  20. Sage o' G-fruit

    Sage o' G-fruit Critics gonna critique

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    I think it was more like "I may have lost the battle, but I will win the war."