Anyone thought of their own riffs before the Rifftrax guys do it?

Discussion in 'Transformers Movie Discussion' started by uruseiranma, Jul 14, 2011.

  1. uruseiranma

    uruseiranma Well-Known Member

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    Here's some that have gone through my head recently:

    Kennedy: Then you tell NASA to move Heaven and Earth. We've got to get to the moon.
    Bill Corbett: We will not be beaten by Wallace and Gromit! We must get that cheese!

    *Sam walks outside and sees his parents*
    Mom: Sammy!
    *walks back inside for a moment*
    Kevin Corbett (pretending to be Shia offscreen): My agent is SO DEAD!
    *Sam walks back outside*
    Sam: I missed you guys so much!

    *After Sentinel awakes and almost attacks Optimus*
    Ratchet: Have no fear.
    Mike Nelson (in higher-pitched voice): Underdog is here!

    *Sentinel looking around frantically*
    Sentinel: The war...the war!
    Kevin Murphy: Yeah I know, Kevin Costner and Elijah Wood in one movie!?

    *Sam screams after Bumblebee's mid-air transformation, and Bee skids to a stop*
    Kevin Corbett: OK, We are not going any further until you stop screaming like a little girl!!

    *The group returns to Nest*
    Sam: You have to guard him because he is the key to the whole thing.
    Sentinel: Indeed I am.
    Mike Nelson (in gravelly voice): Are you the gatekeeper?

    *Soundwave grabbing Carly*
    Soundwave: You're mine!
    Mike Nelson: Now this is just crazy. People obsessively grabbing Transformers, I can understand, but Transformers obsessively grabbing humans, it's just crazy.

    *Megatron blasts Lincoln away*
    Kevin Murphy: Ok guys, bring in that other Lincoln with the monkey head!

    *Megatron is seen seated in Lincoln's seat*
    Mike Nelson: Yeah, a little stiff, but I'll break it in.

    *Shia spazzes and rolls over a table, as almost noone notices*
    Bill Corbett: Yeah, this is a typical day for the crew of Transformers, Shia throwing himself around to get attention.

    *Sam and Epps roll into Chicago as we see destruction everywhere*
    Kevin Murphy: The Cubs lose the World Series! The Cubs lose the World Series!

    *Young soldier volunteering to squirrel-jump*
    Soldier: I'll find my own ride home, sir.
    Bill Corbett: I got my bus pass, afterall.

    *Shockwave walking by the building*
    Kevin Murphy: Tum-te-tum, just taking a walk, not thinking about killing any hu-(debris falls on his head)-rrraarrggh, Shockwave MAD!!


    Anyone else think of any?
     
  2. Chopperface

    Chopperface Holtzmanned

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    :lolol  Man, you got some good ones.

    Optimus narrates the war for Cybertron in the opening: "We were once a powerful race of Cybertronians..."
    Bill Corbett: "Just to let you dumbasses who aren't Transformers nerds know for the umpteenth time."

    Ratchet struggles against his Decepticon captors: "Get off of me!"
    Mike: *imitates Rasputia from Norbit* "Don't nobody be goin' down there unless you done paid for it!"

    Humans are being killed in Chicago by the Decepticons
    Mike and Robert sing: "Got a good job in the city, dying like a man every night and day. Big robots keep on coming, oh the old red coot bot keep on burning... our asses!"
     
  3. uruseiranma

    uruseiranma Well-Known Member

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    Glad to see someone liked my thread.

    I thought of a few more:

    *Optimus Narrates*
    But then came the war- the war between the Autobots who dreamed of Peace-
    Bill Corbett: Thanks to Inception *BWWOOOMMMM!!*
    -and the Decepticons, who dreamed of Tyranny."
    Bill Corbett: Also thanks to Inception *BWWOOOMMMM!!*

    *Dylan jumps over the bridge segments*
    Kevin Murphy: I can FLY!!

    *Starscream gets the jump on Sam*
    Starscream: What a treat! You and me-alone!
    Kevin Murphy: Oh God, Bay, didn't you learn anything from that stuff with the two dogs in the last one!?

    *Optimus shoots down the control Pillar's perch*
    Kevin Murphy: Hey, that was Batman's favorite perching place!

    *Carly is talking to Megatron*
    Mike Nelson: You know, this makes me think of the Iron Giant.
    Kevin Murphy: Really, Mike?
    Mike Nelson: Yeah, makes me think that I'd rather be WATCHING the Iron Giant than Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

    *Dylan and Sam talk*
    Dylan: You think you're a hero?
    Sam: No, I'm just the messenger.
    Mike Nelson: Well, aside from his girly screams, he's no Joan of Arc.
     
  4. Autovolt 127

    Autovolt 127 Get In The Titan, Prime!

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    :lolol 
     
  5. uruseiranma

    uruseiranma Well-Known Member

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    *The opening space sequence ends*
    Kevin Murphy: You know guys, I don't understand what the big deal is with all this 3D stu-
    *Carly suddenly appears, walking up the stairs*
    Kevin Murphy: -OHMYGODILOVE3D!!!

    *Shia's kicking his car engine*
    Kevin: Come on Shia, Crystal Skull is in the past, let go of the anger and move on.

    *Shia's delivering packages*
    Mike/Kevin/Bill: Making ticking noises like there's 'something' inside them. :p 

    *Sam's car is trapped by NEST and he's screaming like a madman*
    Mike, Kevin, & Bill: *screaming in wild crazy ways*
    Bill: MIKE WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?!
    Mike: I DON'T KNOW!!
    Bill: OKAY THEN!!
    *they continue screaming until Shia stops onscreen*

    *The drive down the street and the Driller knocks off Prime's trailer a second time*
    Bill Corbett: Ok Optimus, I think it's time to rethink how to accessorize.

    *Soundwave turns Bumblebee away*
    Soundwave: Turn around!
    Kevin Murphy: (imitating SW's voice and singing Total Eclipse) Every now and then I feel a little bit lonely-

    (I can imagine them doing plenty of 'senile Grandpa' jokes regarding Sentinel)
     
  6. uruseiranma

    uruseiranma Well-Known Member

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    Thought of a few more:

    *Carly: They said they were here for our resources (pronounces it re-zore-sez)*
    Bill Corbett: Hey guys, what are re-zore-sez, anyways?
    Kevin Murphy: I don't know, uh, Power Ranger fuel cells perhaps?

    *Dillon: Yes, but one resource in particular. One unique to our planet.*
    *Carly: ...us?*
    *Dillon: You're very smart.*
    Bill (in a girlish-sounding voice): I am? Whee! Ask me another question!

    *Sam (after finding out that Carly's in Chicago): I'm going.*
    Mike: I deserve a vacation, and Chicago sounds like a great place to visit.

    *Dillon (as the attack continues): Get the dogs in the back.*
    Kevin Murphy: This is the 21st Century, pal. They prefer to be called maids.

    *Epps: You're gonna get yourself killed Sam...is that what you want!?*
    Bill Corbett (begging): That's what I want! Pleaseohpleaseohplease!

    *Epps: It's over...i'm sorry, but it's over.*
    Mike Nelson: I saw you in Wall Street 2-you have no future in acting.

    *Optimus Prime (flying around a corner): I'm coming for you!!*
    Kevin Murphy (about to speak when):
    Mike Nelson: Kevin, don't...just, don't.

    *Optimus: Get DOWN here, Sentinel!*
    Kevin Murphy: Sentinel Octavius Prime, you come down here right now and apologize for destroying this City!

    *Sentinel: Optimus, you forget your place!*
    Bill: Aisle 8 of the toy section at Target?

    *Dillon: There's only one future for me! (suddenly hit with newspapers)*
    Kevin Murphy: Damn Newsies!!

    *Megatron (blasting into Sentinel, 'saving' Optimus): THIS! IS!*
    Mike/Bill/Kevin: SPAR-TAAAHHH!!!


    Plus, now that the film's out...anyone else got any goodies/ideas?
     
  7. Autovolt 127

    Autovolt 127 Get In The Titan, Prime!

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    :lolol 

    Even more great stuff.
     
  8. seekerblackout

    seekerblackout Banned

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    I :lolol  at the Maids one :lolol 
     
  9. megatron66

    megatron66 OD'd on candy

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    :lol  These are my faves by far!!! These are great! Keep it up!!!
     
  10. uruseiranma

    uruseiranma Well-Known Member

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    Really? I'm the only one who is keeping this thread going? Well, here's a couple more:

    *Buzz Aldrin looking rather blank-eyed and smiling looking from one point to the other*
    Mike (pretending to be Buzz): So Mr Bay, you're saying this will make me look cool to my Grandkids?


    *One dread looks from one to the other, after Sideswipe says they'll be let go with their dignity*
    Bill (pretending to be the 1st Dread talking to the second one): Dignity in a Michael Bay movie? What's he talking about?
    Bill: (pretending to be the 2nd dread communicating back): I don't have a clue.

    *Carly is locked inside Soundwave: SAM I CAN'T GET OUT!*
    Bill: So she's never heard of a doorhandle before?

    *Soundwave releases several tentacles that begin to creep towards Carly, as she's trapped inside him*
    Mike: Well, I guess we should have expected this kind of scene sooner or later.

    *Sam (yelling, and his voice cracks): Let her GO!*
    Kevin: Hm, maybe one of the crew kneed him in the groin?

    *Mearing (to Sam): We'll debrief you in transit.*
    Mike/Kevin/Bill (reacting in disgust): UGH! NO! STOP, PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!

    *During the battle scene, one Decepticon transforms, does a full body rotation, and then starts disintegrating humans*
    Kevin (pretending to be the Decepticon): Well, that was a long trip, think I'll stretch my vertebrae and then DESTROY SOME HUMANS!!

    *Optimus: Your leaders will now understand...Decepticons will never leave your planet alone. And we had to make them think that we had gone.*
    Kevin: All while causing the untold deaths of hundreds of people? That doesn't make much sense.
    Bill: Kevin, what did I say about trying to find logic in a Transformers movie directed by Michael Bay?
    Kevin: That it's im-
    Bill: Impossible, yes. So no more questions.

    *Sam: WHERE IS SHE!?*
    Bill: I think what he means is (imitating Christian Bale's Batman)-'WHERE IS SHE!?'

    *Sam is dragged through the glass railing and dropped over the edge, courtesy of Laserbeak*
    Mike/Bill/Kevin: YES!! WHOO! GO EVIL ROBO-TURKEY!!'

    *Suddenly, Sam rises up on the drone ship*
    Mike/Bill/Kevin: WHAT!? Wh-no, nonono, how dare you give us hope, movie!

    *Sam (screaming from drone ship): CARLY!!! CARLY!!!*
    Mike: STELLA!!! Oh, I mean, CARLY!!

    *Carly breaks free from Dylan's henchman after hitting him just a couple times*
    Kevin: Well, that was easy enough. Why didn't she try to escape sooner?

    *Bumblebee turns the guns on Dylan's Trump Tower Penthouse*
    Mike (in Ah-nold's voice): Hasta la Vista, McDreamy.

    *The Wreckers are slowly trying to untangle Optimus from the cables*
    Mike: You know, for being called The Wreckers, they're being rather delicate with those cables.

    *Soundwave (laughing evilly): Hahahaha, I understand.*
    Kevin (imitating the deep voice): I'll get you next time, Gadget.

    *Sam is running to get to the pillar, jumping and sliding like mad*
    Mike: What the-how's he doing THAT!?
    Bill: I don't know, someone spiked his energy drink?
     

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