Animated Sixshot: The Art of Mind Tricks

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by SoundFire Prime, Apr 21, 2009.

  1. SoundFire Prime

    SoundFire Prime Well-Known Member

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    It’s a beautiful sunny day in Detroit. Sari is at the city park. She is meditating in the center of the parks baseball diamond. A large alien tripod walks up behind Sari and emits a loud, deep bellow. Sari remains still and does not open her eyes. The tripod transforms and reveals itself to be Sixshot. Sixshot stands in front of Sari. He speaks in a sing-song voice and tries to get her attention.

    Sixshot: “Oh Monkey, there’s an awesome giant robot with pretty…uh…really cool red eyes standing in front of you.”

    Sari says nothing. Her eyes stay closed.

    Sixshot: “Uh…don’t you want to talk to him? Come on…he’s really…awesome.”

    Sari says nothing. Her eyes stay closed. Sixshot strokes his chin in thought.

    Sixshot: “What would she do now? Maybe…no, that’s not it…oh, I’ve got it.”

    Sixshot tries to speak in a soft, sweet, innocent voice.

    Sixshot: “Aw, come on little monkey, don’t you want to talk to the…awesome robot? Ugh, what now? Oh, I know...um…pleeeaaase?”

    Sari’s eyes stay closed.

    Sari: “Sixshot, please, that is by far the worst display of manipulation I have ever heard.”

    Sixshot: “Well, maybe if you taught me how to use Jedi monkey mind tricks, I would…”

    Sari opens her eyes and sighs impatiently. She stands up.

    Sari: “I already told you, it’s not something you can actually learn, you have to kind of be born with it. Besides, it only works for girls, anyway.”

    Sixshot crosses his arms and looks at Sari doubtfully.

    Sixshot: “Only for girls, huh, and why might that be, pray tell?”

    Sari: “Well, it’s just something a lot of girls are good at, you know?”

    Sixshot: “No, I don’t.”

    Sari: “It’s kind of hard to explain, I guess, but girls just seem to have this, I don’t know, kind of power over boys. You know, like, if a girl acts really cute and sweet in front of a boy, she can get him to do whatever she wants. It's because a lot of boys don't have strong will power, or something. Do you get it?”

    Sixshot: “Oh, believe me, I know a thing or two about will power. So, if you were to go over to that adolescent human male over there and ask him for one of his frozen dairy treats, he would just give it to you, no questions asked?”

    Sari: “It actually is as easy as you think it is. See, what you would have to do is go up to him and look pretty and act cute, and then if he likes you, you have to ask him really nicely for one of his ice creams. Only then will he give one to you, if you’re lucky, and that’s pretty much all there is to it.”

    Sixshot points towards the teenage boy with two ice cream cones.

    Sixshot: “Well then, my pretty little Mindwipe in training, why don’t you go over there and show me how it’s done, savvy? Oh, and I dare you, too.”

    Sari looks over at the teenage boy and smiles with fierce determination.

    Sari: “All right, you big blue meanie, I’ll show you how it’s done. Watch and learn. How do I look?”

    Sixshot speaks in a sarcastic tone of voice.

    Sixshot: “Like a million space credits, now go get ‘em, Tigatron.”

    Sari brushes the dirt off her skirt and takes a deep breath. She walks over to the teenage boy with an innocent smile on her face. The teenage boy sees Sari and smiles nervously. Sixshot watches studiously.

    Sari: “Hi, I’m Sari, what’s your name?”

    Jimmy: “…Oh, hello, my name is…Jimmy…what’s up?”

    Sari: “Nothing, say, where did you get the ice cream cones?”

    Jimmy: “…Huh? Oh, sorry, down by the playground. It’s a little bit of a walk from here. If you hurry, you can get there before the ice cream truck leaves. He’ll be gone in a few minutes.”

    Sari: “Oh, all the way down there, huh? Hey, do you think I could have one of those?”

    Jimmy: “Uh…sorry, I can’t…I’d like to, but I can’t. I’m supposed to give one of these to my friend. He’s waiting for me down by the water fountain. I should probably go now, sorry.”

    Sari looks back at Sixshot. Sixshot rubs his hands together and snickers evilly. He gives Sari the loser sign with his hand. Sari sticks her tongue at Sixshot.

    Sixshot: “The monkey might as well give up. There’s no way she’ll ever…say what?!”

    Sari steps so close to Jimmy that he backs away slowly. She smiles angelically and looks at Jimmy with her big blue eyes. Jimmy looks at Sari and gulps. His face turns red. Sixshot watches in amazement.

    Sixshot: “By the Matrix of Leadership! What sorcery is this?!

    Jimmy: “Wow…Sari…you…look…really…really pretty.”

    Sari giggles.

    Sari: “Aw, thank you, that’s so sweet. Can I ask you for a favor, Jimmy?”

    Jimmy: “…Sure…Sari.”

    Sari speaks in a soft, sweet, angelic voice.

    Sari: “Can you please give me one of those ice cream cones? It would make me really happy if you did. You do want to make me happy, don’t you, Jimmy?”

    Jimmy looks into Sari’s eyes and nods his head absent mindedly. Sari giggles.

    Sari: “Good, thank you Jimmy. That makes me really happy. Now, can I have one of those cones, please?”

    Jimmy: “…Sure…Sari.”

    Sixshot’s mouth plate falls off and reveals his mouth. His jaw drops.

    Sixshot: “No…fragging…way! Is he really that stupid?! Come on, stupid kid, don’t give in to her! Be strong, you hear me? Be strong!”

    Jimmy absent mindedly hands one of the ice cream cones to Sari. Sari takes it and smiles. Sixshot bangs his head on a tree. The other ice cream cone falls out of Jimmy’s hand, though he doesn't seem to notice. Sari giggles. Sixshot sighs and puts his face in his palm. He curses in Cybertronian.

    Sari: “Uh, Jimmy, you should probably get going now, your friend is still waiting for you.”

    Jimmy: “…Huh? Oh man, I forgot! I’d better get going...Thanks, Sari.”

    Sari: “No, thank you. Bye Jimmy.”

    Sari waves goodbye to Jimmy. Jimmy trips, and then runs off. Sixshot reattaches his mouth plate to his face and cracks his neck. Sari walks over to Sixshot, ice cream in hand, and smiles victoriously.

    Sari: “It’s just like shooting cyber ducks in a barrel, right, Uncle Sixshot?”

    Sixshot: “…Kid, as a Decepticon, I’ve manipulated my fair share of suckers, but that was just phenomenal, and it only took you…four minutes! What’s your secret, really?”

    Sari winks at Sixshot.

    Sari: “I already told you, it’s a girl thing, you wouldn’t understand even if I told you.”

    Sari holds up her ice cream cone and offers it to Sixshot. Sixshot smacks it out of her hand. Sari frowns.

    Sixshot: “All right, Monkey, you had your fun, but now it’s my turn. I’m going to show you how a real con artist works, through example.”

    Sixshot casually walks over to a passing hot dog vendor.

    Sixshot: “Greetings, boiled swine dispenser.”

    Hot Dog Vendor: “Uh, hello, giant robot.”

    Sixshot: “I regret to inform you that I have no currency on my person, but may I kindly purchase one of your warm canines anyway?”

    Hot Dog Vendor: “Sorry buddy, no cash, no dog.”

    Sixshot begins laughing. The hot dog vendor joins in. After a moment of laughter, Sixshot quickly pulls out his gun and points it at the hot dog vendor’s forehead. The hot dog vendor tries to scream, but Sixshot scares him into silence by growling menacingly.

    Sixshot: “Look, you don’t want any trouble, and I don’t want any trouble, so let’s just figure this out together, okay?”

    The hot dog vendor nods his head.

    Sixshot: “Good, now then, I’m feeling generous today, so I’ll give you two choices. You can either surrender the boiled swine and walk away from the cart like nothing ever happened, or you could stay and pay with your greedy little head on a stick. So, what’s it going to be, monkey?”

    The hot dog vendor slowly backs away from the hot dog cart. He runs away screaming. Sixshot laughs and eats all the hot dogs. He walks back over to Sari, who is staring at him with her arms crossed.

    Sixshot: “Sorry kid, cute and cuddly may work for you, but my way is better and faster. It looks like I win this time. Oh well, better luck next time, you little heartbreaker.”

    Sixshot laughs evilly. Sari frowns turns her back to Sixshot.

    Sari: “I was just trying to have some fun with you, you big blue meanie.”

    Sixshot: “Aw, come on, don’t be like that, Sari. Look, I’m sorry; I guess I went a little too far, huh? Come on, you don’t really think I’m a big blue meanie, do you, Monkey?”

    Sari looks at Sixshot. Sixshot waves his hand. Sari’s frown turns to a smile.

    Sari: “Of course I don’t, Sixshot. You’re right; I guess we both got carried away with this whole contest, huh? I’m sorry.”

    Sixshot chuckles and pats Sari on her head. He transforms into a humvee and opens the door.

    Sixshot: “Come on, let’s go home. Beachcomber wants you to show him where he can find a place to surf, even though there are no oceans in Michigan, just lakes, but I don’t think he knows that.”

    Sari gets in. Sixshot closes the door. Sari speaks in a soft, sweet voice.

    Sari: “Uncle Sixshot, can I pleeeaaase drive?”

    Sixshot: “…No.”

    Sari: “DARN IT!”

    The end
     
  2. myhobby

    myhobby ArigatouArigatouArigatou-

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    not that you'd know it from just how big the lakes are.
    and there are some pretty big waves when the wind picks up.(not robot huge, but pretty close)

    i like sari's strategy better:eek: 

    however, sari=/=brat, sari=evil!!!
    but cute evil...
    dah!!! i'm one of them!!!
     
  3. SoundFire Prime

    SoundFire Prime Well-Known Member

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    ^ I've never been to Michigan, so I don't know too much about the whole Great Lakes deal. :dunce  Guess I should do some research.

    I like Sari's strategy, too. :eek: 

    When you're father is a filthy rich robot mogul, there's bound to be a little bratiness in there somewhere. The trick, however, is to use it to your advantage. :wink: 
     
  4. myhobby

    myhobby ArigatouArigatouArigatou-

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    i don't really expect anyone who isn't a Michigander to know much about that
    kind of thing. (shrug)

    though, i haven't seen anyone surfing surfing.
    wind surfing is very popular.
    that should make beachcomber happy:cool: 
     
  5. Ace Convoy

    Ace Convoy Well-Known Member

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    Ebay:
    stinkin girl charm.
     
  6. SoundFire Prime

    SoundFire Prime Well-Known Member

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    ^ None can resist Sari Sumdac's hypnotic blue eyes ;) 
     
  7. Ace Convoy

    Ace Convoy Well-Known Member

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    Ebay:
    I lost a Mcdonalds gift card that way.
     
  8. SoundFire Prime

    SoundFire Prime Well-Known Member

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    ^ Aw man, that bites. I feel sorry for you. :(  But I bet it must have felt really awesome having a girl stare at you like that. :eek: 
     
  9. Ace Convoy

    Ace Convoy Well-Known Member

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    not really cause she was holding my nintendo ds hostage i actually thought it was a fair trade.
     
  10. Mr. Sparklebot

    Mr. Sparklebot 'Til All Are Juan

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    I think that's a typo, shouldn't that be Sari saying that? Whatever, your story was funny, great writing! :popcorn 
     
  11. SoundFire Prime

    SoundFire Prime Well-Known Member

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    :banghead:  Crap, crap, crap! How the heck could I have missed that?! Thanks a lot, man, I owe you one. I'll have to get right on fixing that. Edit: Done and done.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2009

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