Animated Sixshot: It's a Sari Thing

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by SoundFire Prime, Apr 25, 2009.

  1. SoundFire Prime

    SoundFire Prime Well-Known Member

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    Sari and Sixshot are meditating at the baseball diamond in the Detroit City Park. They are deep in concentration. Sixshot comes out his trance and opens his eyes. He looks at Sari.

    Sixshot: “So…is it hypnosis?”

    Sari opens her eyes and looks at Sixshot.

    Sari: “…What?”

    Sixshot: “Yeah, hypnosis, you know, like my old pal, Mindwipe. When bots look into his optics, they turn into complete idiots and do whatever the pit his asks, no fighting back. So, I ask again, are you like, hypnotizing boys? That’s how you do monkey mind tricks, right?”

    Sari: “It’s not hypnosis, Sixshot. You’re close, but it’s definitely not hypnosis.”

    Sixshot: “Then what is it?!”

    Sari smiles playfully and winks at Sixshot. She zips her lip and tosses an imaginary zipper over her shoulder.

    Sixshot: “Oh, don’t tell me, it’s a girl thing, right?”

    Sari nods her head.

    Sari: “You wouldn’t understand even if I told you.”

    Sixshot: “Oh, that’s it! The gloves are off now, sister!”

    Sixshot stands up and picks up Sari. He hangs her upside down.

    Sari: “…You’re kidding, right?”

    Sixshot: “Try me, Jenny.”

    Sari: “…Who?”

    Sixshot: “Never mind, you teenage robot, you, and no, I’m not kidding.”

    Sari pouts her lip and speaks in a soft, sad voice.

    Sari: “Pleas put me down, Uncle Sixshot. I don’t want you to hurt me. You would never hurt your little monkey, would you?”

    Sixshot: “…Of course I would never hurt you, Sari.”

    Sixshot turns Sari right side up and gently puts her down. Sari brushes the dirt off of her skirt and smiles.

    Sari: “Thank you and have a nice day.”

    Sixshot: “Sure, I…wait, how did you..?”

    Sari crosses her arms and shakes her head. Sixshot growls furiously.

    Sixshot: “Come on kid, don’t make me beg. I just want to know how it works, that’s all. Please?”

    Sari sighs.

    Sari: “You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

    Sixshot: “Is Wheelie the most hated guy on Cybertron?”

    Sari: “……”

    Sixshot: “The answer is yes.”

    Sari: “…Fine, but on one condition.”

    Sixshot sighs impatiently.

    Sixshot: “Dare I ask?”

    Sari: “You have to let me call you a great big softy in front of the Autobots.”

    Sixshot: “SAY WHAT?!”

    Sari shrugs and speaks in a sing-song voice.

    Sari: “Okay, I guess you don’t want me to tell you the secret.”

    Sixshot: “……Fine, whatever.”

    Sari: “Good, thank you. Can I sit on your shoulder first?”

    Sixshot picks Sari up and sits her down on his shoulder. Sixshot starts walking.

    Sixshot: “Okay, so first, how did you make me put you down like that?”

    Sari: “Because, I know that you have a soft spot for kids, myself included, and that you would never do anything to hurt them. So what I did was, I pouted my lip and acted like I was all sad and stuff, like you were hurting me, and when you saw that I looked sad, you felt really guilty and put me down when I asked you to.”

    Sixshot: “…So it’s guilt?”

    Sari: “Yes, and no. See, it’s called manipulation, and it exploits other peoples’ emotions. Do you understand so far?”

    Sixshot: “I guess so. So, you were able to make me put you down by exploiting my guilt, because I would never do anything to hurt you in the first place, even though I was threatening you?”

    Sari: “Yes, exactly.”

    Sixshot: “Okay, but how did you get your dad to agree to letting me drive you guys home that night?”

    Sari: “Well, that’s one of the best kinds of manipulation. You know how parents love their kids, right? In fact, don’t you have a son?”

    Sixshot glares impatiently at Sari.

    Sixshot: “My son, if I can even call him that without becoming violently ill, was a deadbeat drudge. He hated me, and I hated him. So no, I don’t know how parents love their kids, savvy?”

    Sari gulps.

    Sari: “…Okay. Well, anyway, most dads love their kids, they especially love their daughters. A lot of dads try their best to take care of their daughters and keep them out of trouble. They tend to do anything for them, within reason, mind you. Now, my dad loves me, and I love him. We share a really special bond. I guess you can say he has a bit of a soft spot for me. He likes to think of me as Daddy’s little girl, you know what I’m saying?”

    Sixshot: “Again, I haven’t had much luck with kids.”

    Sari: “…Right. Well, being Daddy’s little girl, he’ll do anything to make me happy. So usually, I tend to take advantage of that. If I act really sweet and loving, I can ask him for pretty much anything and he’ll never say no. Here’s a way I like to seal the deal, if I call him “Daddy” it just makes him melt. If there’s one thing fathers can’t resist, it’s being called “Daddy” by there daughters, and, if you can imagine, I do that quite a lot, and it works. Are you with me so far?”

    Sixshot nods his head.

    Sixshot: “Fascinating. I had no idea how there was so much to it. You sure know your stuff, Monkey.”

    Sari giggles.

    Sari: “Well, I should. After all, it is a girl thing.”

    Sixshot: “I’ll thank you not to say that again.”

    Sari: “Right, sorry.”

    Sixshot: “Okay, now tell me about how it works on adolescent monkey boys.”

    Sari smiles devilishly. Her cheeks turn pink.

    Sari: “That’s the best part.”

    Sixshot: “Oh boy.”

    Sari: “Well, it’s no secret that boys like pretty girls, right?”

    Sixshot: “Last time I checked, boys are suckers for pretty girls.”

    Sari: “Right, well, when a boy sees a girl he thinks is really pretty, it’s like nothing else in the world matters to him, and it makes him kind of stupid, too.”

    Sixshot: “Estupido, por que?”

    Sari: “Yeah, oh, see that boy on the bike over there? Watch this.”

    A teenage boy on a bicycle rides past Sixshot and Sari. The teenage boy looks at Sari. Sari looks at him and waves. The teenage boy crashes into a tree. Sixshot laughs.

    Sixshot: “Oh wow, that’s gonna hurt in the morning!”

    Sari: “You see what I mean by stupid?”

    Sixshot: “Yeah, so what was that?”

    Sari: “Love.”

    Sixshot: “Oh, I see, it’s…love?!”

    Sari: “Lovesickness, to be exact.”

    Sixshot: “…You lost me.”

    Sari: “Lovesickness, it’s what happens when a boy likes a pretty girl, or when a girl likes a cute boy. When that boy looked at me, and I smiled and waved to him, he became lovesick, because he thought I was pretty, and when you’re lovesick, you tend to do stupid things, like crash your bike into a tree, or do whatever a pretty girl tells you without thinking.”

    Sixshot strokes his chin. He snaps his finger.

    Sixshot: “Oh, so that’s how you got ice cream from that kid in the park the other day, right?”

    Sari: “Now you’re getting it! Do you have any more questions?”

    Sixshot: “…So…I guess…it kind of is a girl thing?”

    Sari winks at Sixshot.

    Sari: “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, big guy.”

    Sixshot blushes.

    Sixshot: “Oh…yeah…I guess you were right, then. I guess I’ll never get the hang of this human stuff.”

    Sari: “Hey, come on, don’t be like that, big guy. You’re new here, it’s just gonna take a while to get used to earth customs. Don’t worry, you’ll get it. Hey, if it’ll make you feel any better, I’ll help you out. If you have any questions about humans, just ask me.”

    Sixshot looks at Sari. Sari smiles reassuringly and nods her head.

    Sixshot: “Anything?”

    Sari: “Anything for you, Uncle Sixshot.”

    Sixshot: “Cool, hey, you wanna go play video games at the Autobot base?”

    Sari: “Okay.”

    Sixshot: “Good. Oh, and by the way, I have a question for you.”

    Sari: “Go right ahead, you can ask me anything.”

    Sixshot: “Where do the infants of your species originate?”

    Sari: “……Uh, how about you ask me something else?”

    The end
     
  2. Riltht

    Riltht Full-Time Doomsayer

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    Gotta like the ending :thumbs2: 
     
  3. myhobby

    myhobby ArigatouArigatouArigatou-

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    looks like sari's fed up with explaining the laserbeaks and the waspinators
    to big robots:lol 

    i'll bet that the boy on the bike was Jimmy again:dunce 
     
  4. SoundFire Prime

    SoundFire Prime Well-Known Member

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    ^ Laserbeaks and Waspinators! Genius! No, it wasn't Jimmy on the bike, it was some other poor soul who became entranced by Sari's beautiful blue eyes. Cupid's arrow is a cruel mistress. :eek: 
     
  5. Ace Convoy

    Ace Convoy Well-Known Member

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    it would be funny if Saris Dad was walking up behind them when she explaning this.
     
  6. SoundFire Prime

    SoundFire Prime Well-Known Member

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    ^ It certainly would be awkward...
     
  7. Brolga01

    Brolga01 Olé

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    :lol 
     
  8. jtfire

    jtfire Well-Known Member

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    Great work keep it up!
     
  9. Unicron the Pla

    Unicron the Pla Cybertronian Accountant

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    That would of probably happen to me, crash on a tree for seeing a cute girl wave at me specialy one like sari.
     

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