An open letter to my wife regarding toilet paper

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Super_Megatron, Jun 22, 2007.

  1. Super_Megatron

    Super_Megatron Veteran

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    I would have yelled out to her to bring me some motherfucking TP but she was out and the dog just looked at me like I was crazy for asking it to get me some. WTF.
     
  2. Super_Megatron

    Super_Megatron Veteran

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    How would you even get a proper wiping with that? You're just asking for an itchy ass in an hour. I hate it when I miss a spot and then have to do a second wiping later in the day.
     
  3. Super_Megatron

    Super_Megatron Veteran

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    Then I would get my hair wet.
     
  4. Lady_Prime

    Lady_Prime Prime's Leading Lady

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    Okay, from a woman's perspective....let me give all of you guys some advice.

    Make damn sure that when you leave the bathroom, make sure it is stocked up for the next run with nature. Don't trust anyone to give you what you need when nature calls. That is why my bathroom is stocked up on these things: shampoo, body soap, toilet paper and lysol. I never have to worry about any of these things because when I leave the bathroom, they are there.

    For your wife to leave the bathroom without TP is punishable by death. It's that one moment you had a run in with Taco Bell that you will need a whole roll on its own..

    Love, Heather
     
  5. Super_Megatron

    Super_Megatron Veteran

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    I think sometime this weekend I'm going to hide all the toilet paper in the house and see how she reacts. Maybe I'll take her out for tacos first too.
     
  6. Wreckgar

    Wreckgar Anthony Stark Veteran

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    You should wrap one in an airtight plastic bag and stick it in the toilet resevour. Women never check that thing.
     
  7. Optimus Scourge

    Optimus Scourge Arcee's boy toy Veteran

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    :lol 
     
  8. Ops_was_a_truck

    Ops_was_a_truck JOOOLIE ANDREWWWWWS!!!!!!

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    This had me rolling. :lolol 
     
  9. Rumble02

    Rumble02 Radicon of Obliticons

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    Five Bloody Pages About Tp And Shit>!woot> And I Just Want You To Know I Too Have Used A Whole Roll In One Sitting And Then Suprising Still Needed The Shower And Some Panteeen Pro V Just To Feel Clean Enough To Continue Living
     
  10. Cheetatron

    Cheetatron Drat, outsmarted by a Lorry, I am disgraced

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    ROFLOL
     
  11. TrickyDisco

    TrickyDisco <b><font color=blue>Voted TFW2005's Sexiest Female

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    This one killed me :lol  :lolol 
     
  12. My03Tundra

    My03Tundra LOVES TO EDIT POSTS!!

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    Super_Megatron, please answer these questions and comments for me.

    1. WHY did you post this crappy thread? I love bathroom humor and its complete lack of intellect (why I love it) as much as the next person but I don't need to see this.

    2. WHERE did you get that kind of toilet paper holder? Sounds useful, and handy, for a large family that has a lot of crap to deal with. Or, for one person who's just full of it. ;-)

    3. WHO said you have to walk up stairs to get more toilet paper? Does your wife make you take a dump in the basement because of your stench?

    4. WHEN do you wash your hands? AFTER you've wiped and pulled up your pants? Or AFTER your wife reminds you too?

    5. WHAT is it with your house that it keeps popping up on those Google Earth image searches over Canada?
     
  13. TJOmega

    TJOmega The Plastic Addict Content Contributor

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    It's perfectly fair, I think a lot of us have letters we would like to send to a wife or girlfriend...

    Dear Wife,

    I'll leave the toilet seat down for you when you start leaving it up for me.

    Love, Your Husband.
     
  14. Atomsplitter

    Atomsplitter Needs a new title.

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    Ba dum tssh.
     
  15. Razerwire

    Razerwire 99 Problems... Veteran

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    TMMFI. For those wondering, that stands for TOO MUCH MOTHER FUCKING INFORMATION.
     
  16. Samana Rombuca

    Samana Rombuca Well-Known Member

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    Uhmm... everybody poops. Everybody =)
     
  17. atlianz

    atlianz TFW2005 Supporter

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    Maybe tweezing or waxing will fix that!
     
  18. My03Tundra

    My03Tundra LOVES TO EDIT POSTS!!

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    I could elaborate on one sh... crappy incident I had. I was in a public restroom and was running low on toilet paper. Well, I used one sheet and it slipped and landed in the floor. I left it alone, but while standing up, stood up on it. I rubbed it off on the floor and while walking out shuffled my feet on the theatre floor...

    Thankfully it was AFTER the movie and after that I got out of there kinda quickly.
     
  19. My03Tundra

    My03Tundra LOVES TO EDIT POSTS!!

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    Yeah, have you shaved anything before? Imagine THAT itch.
     
  20. Kickback

    Kickback @GeekWithChris Administrator News Staff

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    The correct order of these questions needs to be "WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHY, WHEN and then HOW". Did you learn nothing in grade-school?