An open letter to my wife regarding toilet paper

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Super_Megatron, Jun 22, 2007.

  1. Jux

    Jux Please, call me Steve. Veteran

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    I haven't had to change a roll of TP ever since I moved in with three girls. I don't know where they're even keeping it, but full rolls just keep showing up.
     
  2. adamthered

    adamthered Reads comics. Starts shit

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    I call that the "upside down ziplock bag full of liquid rapidly upzipped" shits.

    The worst is when you're wife forgets to replace it, you go to the closet, no more TP, you go to the kitchen, no more paper towels, and not a Kleenex to be found, so you wind up in the shower just to clean yourself :D 
     
  3. Star Sabre James

    Star Sabre James The JUICE

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    Some crazy woman I know wrote this to her husband one day. It seems to fit here.

    "The mystery of the missing toilet paper goes on for another day and another..."
     
  4. Boardwise

    Boardwise There are no strings on me Veteran

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    I'm curious as to what her response will be.
     
  5. Foster

    Foster Haslab Victory Saber Backer #3 Veteran

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    In this case, the proper procedure is to wipe with your boxers, leave them on the floor with your pants, and march bottomless through the house singing TV theme songs at the top of your voice until you find her. Then tell her to restock the asswipe, wash your grungy shorts, fix you a sammich and don't skimp on the fucking mustard.

    I recommend the "Married with Children" theme.
     
  6. Jux

    Jux Please, call me Steve. Veteran

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    And how long were you married?
     
  7. Gnaw

    Gnaw Banned

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    :lolol 
     
  8. Foster

    Foster Haslab Victory Saber Backer #3 Veteran

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    I was married three years and never found myself on the throne with an empty toilet paper dispenser. But I did find a fuck of a lot of empty rum bottles. Other questions?
     
  9. adamthered

    adamthered Reads comics. Starts shit

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    Wouldn't it have been your ex then that was always on the quest for more TP? :D 
     
  10. Foster

    Foster Haslab Victory Saber Backer #3 Veteran

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    :lolol 
     
  11. Optimus

    Optimus Well-Known Member

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    My family members often leave empty cardboard on the roll. Fortunately there are spares next to the toilet in both bathrooms.
     
  12. Darkravager

    Darkravager Zombie Hunter

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    Luckily we keep the TP within arms reach from the toilet. My problem is that my wife keeps getting out new rolls and doesn't actually throw away the empty tube, just sets the new roll on top of the old tube.
     
  13. SPLIT LIP

    SPLIT LIP Be strong enough to be gentle

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    What. The. Fuck.
     
  14. atlianz

    atlianz TFW2005 Supporter

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    Im sure theres a towel somewhere in that bathroom.
     
  15. Seth Buzzard

    Seth Buzzard R.I.P. Buzzbeak Content Contributor

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    You know at my work when your sitting on the toilet new rolls are in reach but when ever some one finish the on the dispenser they never put a new one on. They just leave the new roll on top of the tank. I mean come on; you’re sitting right there why not just put the roll on the thing?
     
  16. Spekkio

    Spekkio Master of War

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    Supposedly women are supposed to be all clean 'n' shit, but I find myself in the same situation all the time...gotta go potty and there's just cardboard sitting there.
     
  17. Taker

    Taker Chilean TF Fan

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    That's why we keep the toilete paper in the bathroom...even the ones we haven't opened :D 
     
  18. Jux

    Jux Please, call me Steve. Veteran

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    Just hop into the shower.
     
  19. Optimus

    Optimus Well-Known Member

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    I have seen the opposite, on occasion my family members will put an unfinished roll with quite a few sheets left on top of a new roll. Finish off the old one before putting on!
     
  20. Super_Megatron

    Super_Megatron Veteran

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    Can't hurt! The best would be if you walked up to my wife and gave it to her.