Advice needed

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Valdric_gundam, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. Valdric_gundam

    Valdric_gundam Aes Sedai

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    O.k. guys I'm not the kind of guy to ask for any advice, but I'm at a slight impass... o.k. to get started, you see I have a Girlfreind and her and I have been going out for about a year,and I love her very much... but you see... before I started to go out with her, there was another girl I had my eye on... this is where my problem only starts... any way, not but a week ago I finaly decided to spill my heart out to the other girl... I told her how I felt and in some sort of odd way she told me how she felt, and just last night my Girlfreind told me if I ever find another girl that I if I love her with the same intencity that I love my Girl with, she would let me go... this is where another bit of trouble jumps up, when my girl and I began going out... I swore not to hurt her... now hopefuly you see where my trouble is... I'm stuck between two women... and I dont want to hurt any of them... please help.
     
  2. Lance Halberd

    Lance Halberd oh hai

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    I take it polyamory or some sort of "open relationship" is out of the question?
     
  3. Valdric_gundam

    Valdric_gundam Aes Sedai

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    ??????... the hell is an open relationship....
     
  4. Cobalt Agent

    Cobalt Agent My dick kills dinosaurs

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    In other words, would your girl fancy you searching someone else's yogurt cave?
     
  5. Deceptikitty

    Deceptikitty all about the hasubandos

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    :lol 

    Sounds like you got yourself into a pickle. Anyway, if the other girl says it's okay, you should break it off. If you didn't want to hurt any of them in the first place, then why were you going around admitting your feelings to another girl? Unless I'm reading this wrong.
     
  6. mineraljane

    mineraljane Gravity Hugger

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    Not to sound crass or unsympathetic, but you're 17 years old. If you're lucky, you're going to have your heart broken and break the heart of another many more times in your life. This isn't to mitigate the feelings you have right now, because they are very real and powerful. At this point in your life though, go with your heart and enjoy life.
     
  7. Lance Halberd

    Lance Halberd oh hai

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    Think of it as a non-committal commitment. I'm trying to think of a type of relationship that would fit your situation.

    1. There's a girl you like, but you never acted on it.

    2. Shortly thereafter, you start dating your current girlfriend

    3. A year passes, and you tell the first girl, let's call her Girl A, how you feel about her.

    4. Girl A then tells you the feeling is mutual.

    5. Girl B (your current gf) tells you that if you find another girl you love as much as her, she would let you go.

    6. You swore you wouldn't hurt Girl B and you don't want to hurt Girl A.

    Do Girl A and Girl B know each other by any chance? It just seems ... oddly coincidental ... that Girl B was giving you a free way out right after you and Girl A shared your feelings for each other.
     
  8. Red Alert

    Red Alert Security

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    agreed,do they know each other?they could be setting you up.
     
  9. Valdric_gundam

    Valdric_gundam Aes Sedai

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    to put it this way, they have only heard of eachother... they don't talk at all...
     
  10. MegaPrime33

    MegaPrime33 Follow me @NerdActivist TFW2005 Supporter

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    As far as you know, they dont. I dont see what the problem is really. You're complaining about the fact that 2 girls both want you and that you can't choose which one. Go with the one you want the most. How do you know which one is the one you want the most? You can either go by your gut feelings, or do it scientifically and out way the pros and cons. Either way you still have a girlfriend.
     
  11. Metalhead

    Metalhead hates things

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    Either that or girl B wants to dump him in a way where she won't feel any guilt and he'll be the one feeling like an asshole.

    My advice - ditch 'em both and start experimenting with drugs (JOKE)
     
  12. Omega77

    Omega77 Crystal City

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    I'm guessing that said girls are also around this age. I'm not condoning hurting people on purpose, but they way you've approached this, you kinda set it up for somebody to be hurt. Sometimes, hurt will come into all our lives, and how we deal with these is part of what makes us who we are. Had your current girl told you this information before letting your feelings be known to the other girl, you might have been able to make it out. Even then, there's not promise feelings wouldn't be hurt. That is what makes situations like this sticky, you never really know how someone is going to react, because, honestly, they don't know themselves until it happens.
     
  13. Valdric_gundam

    Valdric_gundam Aes Sedai

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    well while I was gone for the like half hour, I called both girls up, and they are comming down to my place... and I'm gonna take all of your advice, thanks every one... wish me luck.
     
  14. Cobalt Agent

    Cobalt Agent My dick kills dinosaurs

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    Could you, like, record this and put it on YouTube? Use a good camera because all the videos on there of bitches beating the shit out of eachother are from camera phones with shitty quality.
     
  15. MegaPrime33

    MegaPrime33 Follow me @NerdActivist TFW2005 Supporter

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    Yeah I dont think any of us advised that you have both girls come to your house for a talk.


    Orgy yes, but not a talk.
     
  16. Lance Halberd

    Lance Halberd oh hai

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    Best of luck!

    Also, ask Girl A and Girl B if they would be willing to do anal.

    The girl that says yes is the girl for you. Why? Because she has that much more trust in you.

    Plus, she may be willing to do other stuff.
     
  17. seeker311

    seeker311 The Collector

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    Well, sounds like you shouldnt have gotten with the current girlfriend to begin with if you still had feelings for the other chick. Plus, whatever she might say, youre still gonna end up hurting youre current girlfriend if you leave her for the other chick. Third, replace the word girlfriend with wife and see how it looks to you...
     
  18. P. Smitty

    P. Smitty Active Member

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    I cannot see this ending well.

    Either way, my 2 cents (since you know you asked for it by posting this) is that you're going to end up with neither girl in the end. It was patently unfair to the girl you were seeing to even be considering a relationship with this other girl while you were together. and let me tell you from experience - no matter what she said about releasing you if you found someone else - she didn't mean it - at least not the way you took it (she might have meant it as in I'll dump your ass and make you suffer). and the other girl (if she's smart) will look at the situation and realise that you were not entirely loyal to the last girl and decide that you may not be loyal to her either.

    either way at this point you're hooped!
     
  19. Deceptikitty

    Deceptikitty all about the hasubandos

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    A2M?
     
  20. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    Are you fucking kidding me! Abort! ABORT!

    Make your decision and then talk to them individually. This isn't the Bachelor. Girls will not take kindly to your little group talk...

    You are just going to end up without either of them…
     

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