Like the title of this thread says, I need some advice. Please keep this thread as friendly as possible. I decided to put this in the General Discussion section instead of the Fuzzy world one, because I need some serious advice. There is no simple way of saying it, so I'll just say it the only way I know too. I have a crush on this girl that goes to the same High School as I do. This isn't one of those childish ones that lead to nothing, but a serious one here. My problem here, is that I know for a fact that she has a boyfriend, and he's a year older than I am. I've met him in the past, and he's a nice guy. I don't want to be the cause of them breaking up, just so I can have any chance with her, but I have no idea what to do in this situation. And that's where the advice comes in. I'm begining to become friends with her. We both play the bass drum in our schools marching band. That's all I can think of right now. If any of you have any helpful advice for me, it will be greatly apreciated. Thanks in advance for any and all help.
Dude, you're in high school. Find another chick. There's tons of them. Its not worth it to pine over one girl and wait, especially if she already has someone. Spread yourself out and meet other girls. If she ever breaks up with the dude she's with, go in for the kill.
They'll break up eventually. Just stay a close friend like a vulture circling. But until that day comes, no touchy.
I know that, it's just that I don't know what to do for now. Wether I should just stay away from her all together, become close friends with her, or what. I know I won't be able to do any major moves till she and he are no longer seeing each other, but I don't know what, if any, moves I should make for the time being. Thanks in advance to anybody who gives me any helpful advice.
Stay friends or acquaintances. If you get too chummy, you've entered the friend zone and she might just use you for emotional support. That's something you want to avoid.
High school romances tend to be short-lived; you'll most likely have your opportunity at some point. In the meantime, meet and spend time with other people, letting her see that you know how to have good, positive relationships. It might make you more attractive in her eyes down the road. And (not to be the spelling Nazi, but since you play the instrument it's probably good to know), it's BASS drum.
Sorry about that, I wasn't really paying attention to my spelling when I wrote it. I just edited it. I'm surprised that people are actually posting on this thread. I guessed that it would get only about two replies and then be ignored for the rest of time. Just to add to what I've been saying, this is different than any crush I've ever had. Her good looks aren't the main reason that I'm attracted to her, there a bonus, but nothing more. It's mainly her personality. The reason that I decided to create this thread, is that I've never had a girlfriend before, and I have no idea what to do when and if they ever break up. I also don't know what to do till than.
Listen to the Fresh, he speaks the truth. And don't worry about it. In a year or two it will be insignificant.
avoid the friendship zone at all costs!!! I went to a college that was 60% female, and didn't get any the entire time because I made too much of an attempt to become super good friends with every chick I wanted. I was a big dummy. now I know better.
Count your losses and move on... If you two are to become better friends, then even more so since it'd be wrong to complicate her life... If you can't handle just being friends and hoping that they'll break up, definitely count your losses and move on... If you CAN handle being just friends and being patient, then by all means do so... Just don't expect anything out of it or it will definitely sour on you...
Yep. If she'll ditch him, then she could ditch you too. Plus it's not really the right thing to do in the first place.
I don't think I can add to anything that isn't already said so I'll say this: Since you never had a gf before don't pick the girl you have a crush on to be your first one. Find a nice girl who shares your interest and ask her out for a date. You'll find that you are attracted to more than good looks and before you know it you and that girl will become more than just friends. And stay friends with that girl you like and she'll get to know you better and maybe down the road you and her will be an item but don't ever butt into her relationship while she still has a bf. I had crushes on two girls during HS and never got anywhere with them because I was afraid to ask them out and didn't know if they had bfs at the time. Be brave and don't let good opportunity pass you by.
If you decide to be her friend/acquaintance, whatever you do, do not be the clever and manipulative, yet extremely loyal and supportive kind of best friend who does what he can to sew the seeds of mistrust between this girl and her boyfriend. If you do that, you'll bring about the inevitable and guaranteed end of their relationship much sooner, thus making him as the bad guy in her eyes forever and you as her shining white knight who saved her from a very bad decision.
I'd recommend knocking her out and cleaning up afterwards, DNA testing has made it too easy to get caught if you attack the old fasioned way.
Im in a similar situation as you. Im in highschool too, and the girl I like is exactly a year younger than me. She dosent have a boyfriend or anything, only problem is she cant date til she is 16. So, I still have to wait a half a year to ask her out. I know how you feel. Try to get to become friends with her, not good friends, but someone she can ask advice for, someone she can trust. You will get to know her better, and she will gain your trust. But if she mentions shes having trouble with her boyfriend, and asks what she should do, dont make it seem like you want them to break up. Just ask whats wrong, tell her to do what she thinks is best. That way she cant say that you urged her to break up with him. DO NOT FORCE THEM TO BREAK UP! That could be a bad thing, because she might still like the other guy, and not want to go out with anyone else. Oh and what ever you do, dont come up with an evil plan creating a nonexisting third person who is really you, and say he likes her, but it is really you, but she dosent know that. Believe me, it dosent work well.
Also, I would recommend telling her that you want to sex her up real bad. Do whatever you must do, just don't be creepy. I have vague and hazy memories of another thread like this one a while ago with some guy trying to impress this girl who didn't know who he was and he was going to put poems or something in her locker and other freaky shit too. Don't be that guy.
See, that would probably fly 50 years ago. Now that's called stalking. Good job all around fellas. Let's hope this kid figures it out.
