Advice for a friend of mine

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Leadfoot, Feb 27, 2011.

  1. Leadfoot

    Leadfoot The Strongest.

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    So I have this friend I've known for about ten years, one of my closest friends ever. He's been unemployed for a couple of years now and he's 31. He lives with his sister, who's a single mom, and essentially survives off hers and his dad's good graces.

    The other day we were hanging out, and he tells me that he has been ignoring his credit card bill for over a year, and with interest and penalties he owes five grand. He got the card back when he was a college student, and had basically been using it all this time to buy basic essentials when times have been financially tough.

    Now to some people this may seem like a no brainer, but this friend of mine is, shall we say, unique. He is very intelligent and talented, but has a certain set of problems that seem insurmountable. He's been clinically depressed for most of his life, and is constitutionally incapable of holding down a regular job - he can't keep a tight schedule or sustain healthy sleeping patterns. His condition has really beaten him down for so long that he feels he needs to feign apathy about everything, but I could tell this credit card thing really has gotten to him. He's going to have to file for bankruptcy, and his father's patience is really wearing thin.

    Does anybody know of a good way to earn money on one's own schedule? Any insight into how my friend might be helped?
     
  2. Predaking

    Predaking Well-Known Member

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    He may need medicine to help him live a normal life so he can get and hold down a job. With the advancement in medicine there's no reason why he can't find a drug that enables him to function in today's society (with a doctor's help of course). Tell him to schedule an appointment with a Psychiatrist asap.
     
  3. terry981

    terry981 Well-Known Member

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    I go for a prayer. Don't forget about God.
     
  4. madhatprime

    madhatprime Well-Known Member

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    I personally don't thing drugs help. Not unless he really wants it. Drugs end up being a crutch and most people don't ever heal or become better because of it...Sure depression is mainly low seritonin in the brain and drugs may help that, but then he'll be addicted to them. That is why I say that he must want the change in the first place, and understand that the drug is only there until he is better. I have seen it work. I had a friend that had the same issue, she got better, got off the meds and is doing fine.

    That said, what does he like to do for fun? More fun (and exercise) help the release of endorphins, and raise seritonin levels, so that may be a start as well.
     
  5. Haloid1177

    Haloid1177 Hey, That's Pretty Good TFW2005 Supporter

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    Seriously, I think medicine is the best bet. See if you can get him over his depression, and then start with getting him a job. Without solving depression, your friend won't be able to do much of anything.

    Or get him laid. That always solves depression.
     
  6. TheIncredibleHulk

    TheIncredibleHulk Find Gary Busey!

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    Does he suffer from an internet disease?
     
  7. Starscream NZ

    Starscream NZ Well-Known Member

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    Having been clinically depressed, and being on meds, I can say from personal experience that the drugs don't work.

    Well, they do, but not necessarily in the way you would hope they would. They elevate your mood from down to an average sort of level, but you don't really get any great highs either, they also tend to completely kill off your sex drive, or ability to perform.

    While they treat the issue, they do not resolve it either. The way I overcame depression was through initially talking to a therapist, then making life changes. I rid myself of a relationship that wasn't working, a friend that was getting into drugs, and focused on improving myself. Through that I gained the confidence to wean myself off the meds (believe me, the after-affects of these meds is horrible, worst experience of my life). And now live a happier life. I now work full time, have a great relationship, and am happy with myself, and pill free.
     
  8. Moonscream

    Moonscream YES, We EXIST!

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    Some states legally allow you to default on credit cards without penalty if you actually CANNOT pay, and the companies can't do anything about it. Try and find out what free legal advice your friend can get in your state, they'll know about the state's programs and laws.

    On the other thing...having been through similar to Starscream NZ, I concur with his assessment of how the drugs work. I did similar as well, to get out of my situation.

    The most important thing that your friend can do for himself, and if he's 'cultivating apathy' and won't change that there's nothing you or anyone else can do, is decide to change himself for the better. If he doesn't make that decision, no therapy, no drugs, no anything will be able to help him because it all requires him to meet it halfway - drugs don't take themselves, appointments don't keep themselves, psychiatrist's suggestions don't magically make changes just because they're suggested. Do try to talk him into getting some help...but if it doesn't work, you've done what you could and it won't be your fault if he doesn't choose to change.

    --Moony
     
  9. Deceptijohn

    Deceptijohn Metallikato Master

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    This is bad advice. Solve your own problems, don't look for some magical teakettle to do it for you. I could link some articles of people praying for their sick kids to get healed...right up until they died, but I think you get my point.




    On topic...If he doesn't mind the damage to his credit rating there is no reason to sweat that credit card debt. The issuing bank will sell the debt to a collection agency which will harass the shit out of him, but he need never pay them a cent.

    If he wants to work from home there are several customer service companies that will let you work the phones from home, but it does require some upfront money for a separate phone line(and phone), a headset and a computer with internet access.

    Good luck and best wishes.
     
  10. Moonscream

    Moonscream YES, We EXIST!

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    Actually, there's a simple explanation: the faith of the person must be equal to or greater than that of the person doing the healing/prayer. Even if that person is a tiny baby. I'm sure you've read articles about people living and being healed despite what conventional medicine has told and done to/for them, too.

    Science calls it 'the placebo effect'.

    --Moony
     
  11. Plastic Man

    Plastic Man The Man in Black

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    Data entry jobs can be had where you work from home on a project by project basis.

    Hard to say what he can do without knowing him. Just needs to get a job. Can he do art? Graphic design? Website design? He could be a junker and trash dive and do the scrap metal thing. Good luck.
     
  12. Rodimus Major

    Rodimus Major Custom User Title

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    He should join the army.
     
  13. mrhillz

    mrhillz Changed his user title. TFW2005 Supporter

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    Well, to be honest that sounds just like me about 7 months ago. I take antidepresssants, was unemployed for about a year and a half, until I found the job that I'm currently at. I'm currently living with the parents, but things are really looking positive this year for me.

    The best advice I can give your friend is to stick with it. When you're depressed, you have no motivation to do anything. I literally almost stopped job hunting altogether because my thinking was, "why bother, they aren't going to hire me anyways, bad economy, etc." . The problem is, the longer you're out of work, it shows on your applications, and that might reduce the chance of getting a job at the place you want to.

    He might see if he qualifies for any agencies that can help him find work, that's what's helped me several times before. Hell, the only way I got my job was a good friend told me about an opening at his work place. So really, try to keep your chin up and try, as I know it's really hard to do, to put your best foot forward. Keep me posted if he ever finds a job :) 
     
  14. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

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    He could try working at a callcentre. Its crap work, but they'll take pretty much anyone.

    Or he could try selling drugs. Make your own hours, good returns, work outdoors that allows you to meet interesting people...
     
  15. 46+2

    46+2 Well-Known Member

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    I'm surprised he cant collect SS or something.
     
  16. TheIncredibleHulk

    TheIncredibleHulk Find Gary Busey!

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    Oh god. How true this is.....
     
  17. KA

    KA PENIS GOES WHERE?!!

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    :lol  harsh ^

    You sound like good friend leadfoot dude. I think you have the right idea, just watching from the sidelines as your friend dig his own graves just aint right. Guess you gotta tell him stuff he wont like to hear.

    On the plus side 5k in cc debt sounds recoverable. Its not like 20 or 30k or summat.

    P.s. He should try getting into youtube reviews, i heard those guys earn bajillions!
     
  18. jtwhoib

    jtwhoib Protocol

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    I also take anti-depressants everyday. I also had to file for bankruptcy. Mine has just now cleared 12 years later. It takes hard work, patience, and faith, but it can be beat. The power of prayer also does work wonders!
     
  19. exclusacon

    exclusacon Expert with the Scopes!

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    Disability insurance...
     
  20. jtwhoib

    jtwhoib Protocol

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    That seems to help also.
     

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