A romantic quandary.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Spartan-117, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. Spartan-117

    Spartan-117 Well-Known Member

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    Don't mistake this for one of those "I like a girl, help me" threads.
    I'm past high school, my balls have indeed dropped and I'm capable of asking a girl out should the need arise. So it's not one of those threads.
    Instead my dilemma comes from where do you meet girls? Where did those of you with long term significant others meet?
    I find people telling me I need to get out to pubs and clubs more and/or learn to dance in order to meet girls. Which is fair enough.
    My dilemma comes from the type of girl you meet and the relationship you form.
    In my mind I don't see how you can form any sort of meaningful relationship with anyone by being totally hammered and flailing at them like you're having a seizure. I understand how that can work in terms of casual sex, which really doesn't interest me. Well it does interest me, not just the amount of preparation that goes into it like chat up lines and buying drinks. Too much expense and effort, casual sex should just be "ready, set, fuck" really.
    This isn't a "I'm desperate for a girlfriend" thing either.
    I'm just curious to find out if my thinking is wrong and that you can form something deep and meaningful at a bar (or at least start to) or if the general consensus is that the best relationships come about slowly without a particularly direct approach, that is to say that you don't set out with any particular romantic or sexual intentions.
    Does this make sense?
     
  2. Jux

    Jux Please, call me Steve. Veteran

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    I've met plenty of women at the bars and dance clubs, and yeah, learning to be able to dance out on the floor with women is a great way to get further.

    You'll get the bar sluts, and you'll get nice girls just out to have a good time. Have fun with all of them, flirt, dance, etc., just to get comfortable with it. If you meet someone that you have a good time with and want to go out with, then does it matter you met at a club? I have a lot of good women friends that I've met by going out - some I'd consider longer things with, and some I wouldn't.

    That's not to say it's the only way to meet women. Work (yeah, I know), school, the local coffee shop, etc. Hell, if you see a cute girl next in line at the supermarket, strike up a conversation, get a phone number out of it.

    The biggest advice is just to be yourself and have fun, and enjoy whatever comes your way.

    *edit: A big part of going out to meet people is staying within the age range you're comfortable with. The dance clubs by the local college are probably sure to be full of young women out to get plowed and hook up, as opposed to other places that might be a bit more matured and looking for serious things. That plays big into it too, so keep that in mind when you're out looking to meet people.
     
  3. MegaMoonMan

    MegaMoonMan www.megamoonman.com TFW2005 Supporter

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    It's not impossible to meet a good woman at a bar, but it is a lot easier to meet drunken floozies at that same bar.

    You could throw a party, and invite everybody you know, and tell them to bring their hot friends.

    There's always the internet. That works for a lot of people.
     
  4. KA

    KA PENIS GOES WHERE?!!

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    i dont think its dependant on where you meet em. by thinking that way youve already got preconceived perceptions going into getting knowing somebody and thatll just fuck up things.

    btw i got hitched with somebody from uni.
     
  5. 138 Scourge

    138 Scourge WE R 138

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    I met my last girlfriend/baby's momma through friends of friends, but we first got to know each other at a bar...so, that can work. Then again, seeing as how all that worked out for me (not well), maybe not.

    I have no idea. I work too much these days to even consider trying to find someone else.
     
  6. Fairy Princess

    Fairy Princess Banned

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    Just find a skank on mySpace....
     
  7. Sideways

    Sideways Banned

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    i met a girl on myspace. Nothing serious. We just mess around.hehehe.
    she lives about 25 minutes from me.
     
  8. tikgnat

    tikgnat Baweepgranaweepninnybong. TFW2005 Supporter

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    I use 'russianbride.com'.

    ;) 

    Seriously though, I found that by increasing my hobbies outside of home means I meet more people... for instance I go to my gong Fu classes, and BAM! Girls everywhere. (Although more importantly, Girls with similar interests everywhere)

    Strike up conversations and BAM! New friends. And with new friends would come the opportunity to meet more girls.

    BAM! With the spice weasel.

    Me, I met my other half through her sister through Uni.
     
  9. smangerbot

    smangerbot The Holy Zombie Jesus TFW2005 Supporter

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    i've never been good at meeting girls. all my girlfriends (present and past) were friends beforehand. i dunno why i'm even posting in this thread, sorry for wasting your time guys.
     
  10. llamatron

    llamatron Shut up, Nigel. TFW2005 Supporter

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    Uni is the greatest thing on the planet for meeting girls.
     
  11. smangerbot

    smangerbot The Holy Zombie Jesus TFW2005 Supporter

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    other than hanging around schools, i agree.
     
  12. Night Flame

    Night Flame TFW2005 Supporter

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    I met my wife at work, but really what it boils down to is just getting out of the house. If you have things you enjoy doing, find clubs dedicated to those things. Even spectacularly dorky things. Model building clubs? Book clubs? Photography clubs? If you live in or around a halfway decent sized city, there's bound to be a club around for almost anything you could think of.

    The problem with meeting people at bars and nightclubs is that it's VERY difficult to find the three or four people of the opposite sex who aren't just looking for the next good time. Plus, if you don't much care for the atmosphere, it's pretty pointless to think you're going to meet someone that'll enjoy the same things you do at a place dedicated to an atmosphere you don't care for at all.

    It's really just about mixing. Find people to hang with with a common interest, and hang. It's pretty much that simple.
     
  13. aussiehippy

    aussiehippy Au contraire, Blackadder.

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    Well, I met my current girlfriend in a bar, and that is going quite well.

    It's by no means the ONLY place to meet a girl, but bars are quite good for feeling relaxed and yourself. I think the big distinction is whether you are going out to a bar with the express intention of meeting a woman. In my experience the girls don't like people who try too hard, like, if you learn to dance like John Travolta and then keep grooving out on the dancefloor in the vain hope of catching their eye, you'll probably go home disappointed.

    Best not to go actively looking for girls, and just have a few places you go for hobbies, or for chilling with mates. Be relaxed and yourself, and girls will be more interested. That's certainly how it works around here.

    On the other hand, if you just want a shag, go to one of the meat markets, get pissed and pull a dodgy bird. Easy.
     
  14. pscoop

    pscoop Dead inside

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    Met my wife through my sister. My sister had the hots for a waiter/friend of mine that I used to work with. She came to hit on him and brought my wife as her wingman. We all went out drinking after work and things just happened.

    Before that I would just hook up with sluts that I worked with when we went to the bar after work.....I kinda miss working in a resturant.

    I guess the moral here is, "Booze helps you score with chicks"
     

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