A question to those in a relationship

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by General Magnus, Jan 2, 2008.

  1. General Magnus

    General Magnus Da Custodes of the Emprah

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    During a dinner a couple of day ago, me and my friends were discussing relationships. How could a guy become a girl´s "bitch" ("pau mandado" in portuguese). All of them pointed that I was tha type of guy because being the only one that a) hasn´t got a gf, b) hasn´t got laid, and c) because of my good nature (I´m a fairly likeable person).

    In the words of one of them "As soon as she open her legs to you, you will do EVERYTHING she tells you. You will not know hew to stand up to her because you are inexperinced" Truth be told, I have zero experience in relationships and that friend of mine knows me for over an decade, but I´m not sure on how this would go. I´m stuborn, in certain things i´m proud (sometimes borderline arrogant) and being a single son I sometimes suffer from the "can´t take NO for an awser" I´m also extremely pessimistic (as in hope for the best and prepare for worst).

    Were do you draw the line in your relationship? How can I avoid becoming someone´s bitch?
     
  2. Omnius

    Omnius Well-Known Member

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    In well before lock - if you feel she's walking all over you, stand up for yourself.

    I'll get in with a sensible reply before the inevitable derailment ensues.

    (Remember Omnius' Rule #1).
     
  3. Gears

    Gears buh-buh-body ya Veteran

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    It depends on the woman too. Some try to be more controlling and power-hungry than others. You'll want to stay away from those women.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2008
  4. smangerbot

    smangerbot The Holy Zombie Jesus TFW2005 Supporter

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    sometimes they can be very subtle about it though, you may not even notice till someone tells you!
     
  5. Deceptikitty

    Deceptikitty all about the hasubandos

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    I don't think all women are manipulative like that. It just has to do with self-esteem and how you view yourself - the same goes with girls, too. My friend was getting stalked by some obsessive guy, and yet she didn't tell him to stop because in her own words, "I haven't had a boy pay this much attention to me before." If a girl with controlling tendencies goes out with a guy who has low self esteem he'll feel that she's his only chance for a relationship, and therefore do anything she wants to stay in it.

    At least that's my opinion.
     
  6. smangerbot

    smangerbot The Holy Zombie Jesus TFW2005 Supporter

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    yeah that can be true too.
     
  7. Foster

    Foster Super Mod

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    The best way to avoid being a bitch is by making sure she is. There's no such thing as an equal relationship. There's always an imbalance. And in your first long-term relationship, it's hard to gain the upper hand. Try for someone younger.

    We're really not all that different from canines.
     
  8. smangerbot

    smangerbot The Holy Zombie Jesus TFW2005 Supporter

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    that is also true.
     
  9. Random Autobot

    Random Autobot Soviet Kanukistani

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    You got to have hand. So, the first time your girlfriend starts to get controlling and bossy with you, you break up with her. She will be so stunned that she will beg to be given another chance, and you will have "hand".

    However, the best overall defence against this is a good offence. Women, with the exception of those with a huge case of penis envy, want their man to be a strong force in their life. They don't want a sniveling milquetoast constantly asking them what they are thinking, or how they are feeling, or if they're ok. Those are the questions they want to be asking us.
     
  10. smangerbot

    smangerbot The Holy Zombie Jesus TFW2005 Supporter

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    hand? like as in hand shandy?
     
  11. .SentinelPrime Is Dead.

    .SentinelPrime Is Dead. Banned

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    The last girl I was with before my ex girlfriend was a year older then me. she also happened to be the older sister of my ex. anyways. the older sister was very very bossy. its not so bad being a he bitch to a woman, as long as the pussy is really good. I mean if all she does is lay there and expect you to do the work, its not really worth it.

    Long term relationships are hard. I'm pretty much in my first one ever. its definitely something new to me. a lot of work, but the bond I'm forming with my girl is amazing.
     
  12. Team Jetfire

    Team Jetfire Pop-POP!

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    I think it happeneds a few days after the wedding...ZING!

    I keed...

    Just like anything else in life there are compromises, When you are in a long term relationship there will be something’s that your friends don't like and there will be something’s you partner won't like. The tough thing is finding the balance between the two.
     
  13. Random Autobot

    Random Autobot Soviet Kanukistani

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    You've never seen that episode of Seinfeld? With georges piano playing girlfriend, who had all the "hand" in the relationship?
     
  14. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    This'll probably sound heavy-handed, but I honestly don't mean it to be.

    A relationship--any relationship--is extraordinarily complex. It's got all sorts of subtleties and fine points that you're probably not going to be able to grasp your first time around.

    So yeah, you may end up getting whipped. Or you made end up trying to hard to avoid it and driving her off. Or hell, you may be like a relationship prodigy and figure it all out. That's life, y'know?

    There's a Southern (well, Southern US) expression: Don't borrow trouble. In other words, avoid being concerned about something that's not an issue at the moment.

    Live life, meet a girl, date said girl, and if--or rather, when--you find yourself in a relationship, worry about being a bitch. Then ask your friends who know and see you around her for their opinion, 'cause they'll be the best source of advice.

    And for what it's worth, getting whipped isn't always a bad thing. I was, and it taught me a lot about who I would rather be, and how to accomplish that.
     
  15. Foster

    Foster Super Mod

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    HAWT.
     
  16. Bendimus Prime

    Bendimus Prime Rolls for initiative TFW2005 Supporter

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    Well, like what is she "making" you do? Does she tell you that you can't see your friends, cause that's going too far. Or, does she ask you to skip them one day to do something with her, cause that's just part of being in a relationship. If you want a strong relationship, staying out all night drinking and playing video games with your buddies will start coming to an end. And if that sounds like too much to handle, then stay single.
     
  17. drippy

    drippy is a freethinker.

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    The best way to avoid this is to be in a relationship with a girl who is not bossy or controlling.

    That's not to say you can't pump and dump the bossy and controlling chicks. Feel free if you're so inclined.
     
  18. 03Mach1

    03Mach1 Reason Has No Voice

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    Not to sound cliche, but a relationship is not about the 'upper hand'. It's about loving someone without limits. Who cares who wins which argument or who does which medial task. If you have to worry about being someone's bitch, then it's not a relationship.
     
  19. Bryan

    Bryan ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    Oh, one point of language. Your English is excellent, but "pessimistic" really just means assuming the worst possible outcome will occur in any situation.

    Hoping for the best while preparing for the worst is really more just...I don't know, being cautiously optimistic?
     
  20. General Magnus

    General Magnus Da Custodes of the Emprah

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    As in:

    "I don´t like your friends"

    "You should get rid of your toys"

    "Help me do this" (not one but 100th times)

    "You think your work is important? I need your help, so drop whatever you´r doing and come help me"


    These kind of things. I´m a guy who values his personal space above all other things.
     

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