A question about dreams

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Spartan Prime, Jan 18, 2011.

  1. Spartan Prime

    Spartan Prime is an apathetic douchebag

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2006
    Posts:
    3,225
    Trophy Points:
    207
    Likes:
    +3
    Alright, a few weeks ago I had posted about a girl I was crazy about breaking up with me just before New Years and my birthday. I was hurt, still am a bit, but I've been largely over it for a little while now. I'm moving on with life, going to school, working, blah blah.

    The past FOUR nights, though, I've been dreaming about her coming to my house, or us stumbling upon one another while out and about, and us both apologizing and working things out, and everything was groovy between her and I again.

    Now, I have NEVER dreamt about something this many times, not so identically and certainly not in succession. I dont reckon we have anyone here big into dreams or psych who could weigh in on this and tell me what's going on in my head, is there?
     
  2. Leadfoot

    Leadfoot The Strongest.

    Joined:
    May 10, 2010
    Posts:
    1,290
    Trophy Points:
    126
    Likes:
    +0
    Dreams have never been definitively explained.

    One theory is that it is the brain's way of filtering out and categorizing useless information sort of like defragging for your mind.

    Another is that dreams are the realm of one's own most deeply kept subconscious desires and fears. This is the one that makes the most sense to me. It seems likely that in your case, for whatever reason, your desire to be with this girl is more deeply rooted than a simple attraction.

    In terms of the frequency of which you dream about it, it only reaffirms the potency of this desire. In my case, I dream about missing classes, oversleeping and missing exams, etc. most likely because I have spent the majority of my life in fear of doing so; it is a deeply rooted subconscious fear.

    My only qualification is that I minored in psych, but I hope that helps.
     
  3. Aernaroth

    Aernaroth <b><font color=blue>I voted for Super_Megatron and Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Posts:
    23,506
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    347
    Likes:
    +135
    Please tell us, using single words, only the good things about your mother.
     
  4. seeker311

    seeker311 The Collector

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Posts:
    9,188
    News Credits:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    197
    Likes:
    +28
    Ive had similar experiences: In highschool, I was trying to talk to this girl I really liked and finally told her how i felt about her. When she said she didnt feel the same way, I began to have dreams about her for the next month; in the dreams, she would either be very mean or just be a tease. I stopped talking to her for a while and they went away.

    About every other month, I have dreams about an ex that I broke up with back in 2003. They are either about her being a little B****, her trying to get back with me or us just being civil with each other. Ive been having those for the last 7 years; they were driving me nuts at first but now I just roll with them..

    And yes, I majored in psychology so Ive done my own introspection of this and have my own asnwers as to why these dreams keep reoccurring...
     
  5. Voiceroy

    Voiceroy Trans-fo-mahs!

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2004
    Posts:
    3,278
    News Credits:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    186
    Likes:
    +15
    Well, I'm no psychologist, but my wife has a gift for analyzing dreams and has some good books on the subject which I've learned a great deal from too.

    If you're still feeling even a little hurt (after all, it was only a few weeks ago that you broke up), that would explain the recurring themes in your dreams. And if you're both apologizing for something in your dreams, it might have something to do with some sort of personal guilt you feel, and only you know if that feeling is self-imposed or genuine. Like that you might feel personally responsible for the break-up and blame yourself for what happened, or somehow if you had done something differently or apologized for whatever it was that you'd have been able to work things out.

    But the repeat themes in your dreams is nothing to worry about -- just a natural part of the process. It's just your subconscious mind trying to sort through your feelings.

    I'll give you an example from one of my own break-ups.

    Back in 2002 (2 years before I met my wife), I was given the "I just wanna be friends" speech by a girl that I had already fallen in love with. Even though it was long-distance, I thought we'd already established a healthy dating relationship, and the break-up tore me up. But I also didn't know the girl that well due to distance, and afterwards I learned some things about myself through the experience.

    But for at least a month I kept dreaming about her, and a recurring theme was that I kept telling her that I could change for her to be what she needed. But I didn't need to because we weren't compatible, and I had already realized that. However, because I was in love with her, my subconscious wasn't willing to let go.

    It just took some time before my subconscious came to terms with reality. And a few months later, I met another girl whom I dated for about 9 months before I realized she was bipolar and discovered she had a history of mental illness in her family. I knew I needed to break it off with her as quickly as possible, but I was afraid to do it because of the type person she was.

    I started having nightmares with common themes: bound in chains; underwater gasping for breath; imprisoned; running; and having to fight for my life in a public arena.

    Through some sort of miracle, she called to break it off with me. Said she felt she was "holding me back" and that we "weren't right for each other."

    What a relief that was.

    And the nightmares ended.

    As for how to get through this, take this with a grain of salt since I'm not a doctor (although I've played one on TV ;)  ), but here's some stuff you might consider to help you get through this and get your mind off of it.

    - Be active: go do stuff that you enjoy.
    - Be social: go hang out with friends.
    - Be charitable: go find ways to help others -- it's a sure way to get your mind off yourself.
     
  6. Human Beastbox

    Human Beastbox The Murdinator

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Posts:
    3,720
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +1
    WIN.
     
  7. One

    One Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2009
    Posts:
    623
    Trophy Points:
    101
    Likes:
    +0
    I say you haven't really gotten over her maybe? not sure dreams are strange things. I say go contact her (if she let you) and tell her about it? don't know what to tell you really dude im sorry.
     
  8. x BlackMagnus x

    x BlackMagnus x Is not impressed

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Posts:
    10,458
    News Credits:
    103
    Trophy Points:
    201
    Likes:
    +104
    ...Groovy?
     
  9. Farrk

    Farrk Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2010
    Posts:
    300
    Trophy Points:
    76
    Likes:
    +0
    Don't bring his smother into this.

    I MEANT MOTHER! Ohhh nooooooo jar of worms open! :( 

    I'd go with Leadfoot's advice, seems right to me.
     
  10. Nachtsider

    Nachtsider Banned

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Posts:
    12,544
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    201
    Likes:
    +3
    It's a sign. You must now look her up, stalk her, kill her and wear her skin.
     
  11. KA

    KA PENIS GOES WHERE?!!

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2003
    Posts:
    23,225
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    312
    Likes:
    +17
    seems to me like you regret not doing her in the pooper.
     
  12. Mr. Sparklebot

    Mr. Sparklebot 'Til All Are Juan

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2009
    Posts:
    2,927
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +1
    ^^^
    [​IMG]
     
  13. SkywarpsNipples

    SkywarpsNipples ホンマおもろい人やね〜

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Posts:
    3,525
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +6
    Or him regretting not letting HER do him in the pooper.
     
  14. grayman

    grayman The Alpha and The Omega TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2006
    Posts:
    1,706
    News Credits:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    207
    Location:
    Miami, Florida
    Likes:
    +2
    Ebay:
    If you really care about someone and loose them, it can take much more than a few weeks to move on. I believe that you simply miss being with this girl. If you regret giving up on the relationship, try to rekindle it. If you feel that the relationship wasn't good for you, then do things for yourself and in time, the dreams will go away.
     
  15. Scorpion

    Scorpion Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2005
    Posts:
    1,147
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    176
    Likes:
    +1
    Optimus Sledge, is that you?
     
  16. x BlackMagnus x

    x BlackMagnus x Is not impressed

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Posts:
    10,458
    News Credits:
    103
    Trophy Points:
    201
    Likes:
    +104
    :confused2 
     
  17. Optimus1986

    Optimus1986 TMNT & Hulk Fanatic

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2008
    Posts:
    3,918
    Trophy Points:
    151
    Likes:
    +0
    [​IMG]
     
  18. Spartan Prime

    Spartan Prime is an apathetic douchebag

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2006
    Posts:
    3,225
    Trophy Points:
    207
    Likes:
    +3
    Thanks to those of you who actually helped and offered real advice.
     
  19. Dran0n

    Dran0n Junk male

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Posts:
    13,284
    News Credits:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    217
    Location:
    Cygnus X-1 (ya bish)
    Likes:
    +6
    Aw, dammit! You've done and added things from memory. You will begin to lose the sense of what is and isn't reality. SEE YOU IN LIMBO.
     
  20. Haloid1177

    Haloid1177 Hey, That's Pretty Good TFW2005 Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2009
    Posts:
    29,050
    News Credits:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    317
    Location:
    Somewhere Between Life and Death
    Likes:
    +56
    At the rate you are having these dreams, they will be wet before too long.
     

Share This Page