Ive been away for about a month on the boards(well, not really, but checking in now and again) mostly due to a null state that ive been in. Its hard to describe just how it felt, but i really needed it. Ive gone through quite alot of shit lately and i guess its time to spill the beans since im really trying here, and it will only help the transition, so here goes: My life so far has been dissapointing and depressing, i could go into all the details, but that would take forever, and i dont want to open the book that far, so lets just stick with that one statement. Ive been confused for the longest time about who i am and what i think about things in general. You have the blacks and the whites, but im just one big area of grey. Career wise i still have no clue what im going to do. My education is seriously lax and i would probably need to read all the books again just to brush up. I'm 1.5 credits away from a basic arts degree, but that and 1.25 will get me a cup of coffee. Ive been painstakingly trying to get a job out where i live now since i moved out of my parents place, and just got one(its always the last place you apply to....). I get more hours, but no real solid schedule, which is a bit dissapointing, because i cant plan anything to keep my rituals going, so ill have to plan week by week as the schedule comes. On top of all that i have a daughter, which is great and all but if i decide to go with any certain careers, she will be a factor, because if i have to move away for it, it would be extremely hard on me emotionally. So, thats my life right now. The time i spent thinking really put things in perspective though. Im not as afraid to move forward as i once was, and im ready to make a genuine effort to make the most of life. I find alot of people focus in the here and now, but i like to think of the future, and what id like to experience before i die. Im still young but i find that thinking this way really makes life more fufilling. Thanks for listening! Tarngold PS: i know a few people on here are wondering about deals i made before my dissapearing act, but ill be in contact soon, with PICTURES!!!