a more fitting end for the animated movie

Discussion in 'Transformers Fan Fiction' started by GENOZAUR, Mar 17, 2007.

  1. GENOZAUR

    GENOZAUR Banned

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    this is just my idea of a more suitable ending for the 80's animated movie. people.

    Rodimus Prime stood before a balcony, trying to determine what to say to his allies, who had accepted him as leader and bearer of the Matrix. He didn't think himself worthy, but conditions had refused him any other option. So there he stood. .A new age is upon us now. By banding together, Mecha, Femme, Junkion, Human, and even Orphans we have saved our very existence. We have saved our Universe, preserved our way of life, destroyed the greatest threat to our galaxy, and sent an army bent on conquest to the far reaches of known autobot territory. this day is the beginning of a new age, an age of peace and harmony Opening his mouth, he finally found the right thing to say. "Let this mark the end of the Cybertronian Wars, as we march forward to a new age of peace and happiness. Till all are one!" and with that thought voiced aloud he contemplated the past.

    we will remember those who we traveled with. He thought to himself, To the last hour, the last day, the last mile of the road we travel. until the day when all are one. "I don't know if I will ever be the great leader that you were, Rhodimus Prime thought to himself, but for sure I’ll give it my best shot" "rest in peace Optimus Prime." He said to himself. Rest in peace, father "Till all are one!" repeated the gathered Autobots. Kup, Springer, and Arcee joined hands with Wreck-Gar, who was to become the first ally in this new era. "Till all are one!". "Till all are one!" "Till all are one!" repeated the gathered Autobots. " Cheering, the gathered crowd repeated the statement at ear shattering volume. “TILL ALL ARE ONE!” Leaving the partying crowd, the new Prime walked off on his own, but was soon found by ultra magnus, who gave him a pat on the back “We did it Roddy, we won. The Decepticons are scattered, their leader has been permanently deactivated, and you’re the new Prime. Optimus would be proud of you…I know I am.” Sighing softly, Rodimus turned his optics to his old friend, a line of fluid running down his cheek. “Would he be magnus? I’m the reason he's dead, and nothing I do will ever remove that taint from my Spark.”“But Roddy….” “No buts magnus. I know I never intended for it to happen but just the same i have only myself to blame for his passing. nothing you or anyone else could ever tell me will ever change that for a fact otherwise. i can only hope that i will prove myself worthy of this role bestowed upon me. perhaps i can redeem myself by my actions in life from this moment forward.

    Looking towards the heavens, Rodimus sighed and wiped the fluid from his optics.” I hope I’m doing the right thing Optimus. I know you’re up there….please guide me to do that which is the right and just thing.” "If ultra magnus spoke " if you don't feel ready for this, we can wait . ", he murmured. The Autobot leader shook his head and rested one hand on his chest, directly above the flames emblazoned there. The seams of his chestplate seemed to glow with a supernatural azure light- the light of the Matrix, ultra magnus suddenly realized- and Rodimus's face softened. A gentle smile lit his face as the fear in his optics bled away into an eerie calm. ultra magnus felt chills run down his body; it suddenly seemed as though the two of them were no longer alone in the area. the air began to shimmer around them, the area in front of them became bathed in a blinding white light. slowly but surely the light began to take shape and form in front of them. the features were blurry at first as it began to slowly take one step and then another step away from the light emminating from behind it. someone was walking towards them from the other side of the matrix. magnus could sense more then see who it was.

    a legendary warrior stood before them restored to his youth. he stood tall and proud in the red, white and blue colors he so proudly wore in life. the age no longer visable on his face and body. the hero in his youngest days his youth restored to him in full. he stood there next to Rhodimus holding out his left hand. Rodimus lifted his hand off his chest and laid it back by his side. The hand was reflexively clenched in a half-fist, like a small child's hand as it grasps the hand of it's parent. the father was there for his son plainly visable to the both of them not entirely solid but physical enough to be felt by the 2 of them. my brother, my comrade, my friend may you rest in peace magnus thought as he saw his brothers spiret standing before them as alive and lively as he had ever been in life, even his injuries from his final battle had been fully healed "I'm ready, 'magnus. Do what you have to." " . . . But- are you sure?" He shook his head, the faint smile still playing on his lips. "It's all right. After all," and the Matrix light flickered and strengthened, "I'm not alone.". time would eventually heal his wounds and he would come to terms with it and prove to be worthy of his new role in life. The sun rises over Cybertron The Autobots had won, but rebuilding the wreck that Cybetron had become would take years, and the Decepticons were not extinct, only driven away. There would be years of hardship ahead, but the large-scale war had finally ended.

    Some time later, we see a large round table. Seated there are Rhodimus, Arcee, Soundwave, Cyclonus, Kup, ultra magnus, springer, Scourge, Grimlock, and Blitzwing. We hear Rhodimus's voice: "It was a world transformed. Things were not what they seemed." We see a new symbol on the command center of Cyberton--a combination of the Autobot and Decepticon symbols. "After the last Cybertronian war there was peace at last. Autobot and Decepticon met each other as equals, and finally there was lasting peace." "For those who tried to manipulate us. . ." We see the ruins of of the Hall of leaders, most especially the remains of Galvatrons cruiser. ". . .and those who tried to dominate us. . ." We see the remains of Unicrons body floating through space. ". .And the worst among us were gone at last. We see a tomb dedicated to Megatron greatest leader of the Decepticons ..We were the masters of our own destiny. We had reached the end of the road, and the road led to a new road, a road traveled as one. And we will look to the horizon with hope. . ." We see Springer and Arcee with a smaller robot, possibly theirs. ". . .we will remember those who we traveled with. . ." We pan a hall of fallen warriors--Ironhide, Ratchet , Huffer, Brawn, Wheeljack, Windcharger, Tracks, Raul, Prowl, Optimus Prime and thier fellow autobots who gave their lives for the cause at autobot city are represented as statues as well as Thundercracker, Skywarp and Megatron in the hall of hero's ". .To the last hour, the last day, the last mile of the road we travel. . ." The sun rises over Cybertron. ". . until the day when all are one. . ." The Autobots had won, but rebuilding the wreck that Cybertron had become would take years, There would be years of hardship ahead, but the large-scale war had finally ended.



    as for that whole matrix scene between ultra magnus rhodimus prime and optimus i figure that song faith of the heart would work well for the scene
     
  2. Fairlady_Z

    Fairlady_Z Official Voice of Flareup

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    Good story.

    I like your working in the brother connection between Magnus & Op. I really liked the last paragraph as an alternate ending to the TF saga. Maybe with Galvatron perminantly gone peace could have been eventually negotioated with the Cons. I'm a sucker for any story with Rodimus.

    A few gramatical notes - Whenever a new character speaks, a new paragraph should start. You also have a few misspelllings, I know how those can sometimes be easy to miss even after you'd checked over your story 100 times and you can still miss a word or two. It can be frustrating. Rodimus not Rhodimus. Make sure all characters names are capitalized. Make sure you have capital "I" not "i" if you are using the personal pronoun. These are just a few things I noticed to help make your story more readable.

    Shameless plug - I have a story that takes place right after the movie as well and deals with some of the same issues/themes that yours does. You might enjoy reading it, just follow the link in my sig. It was written before the brother connection between Magnus/Op was revealed in Dreamwave though so I didn't mention it unfortunately.

    Keep writing. You have some very cool ideas and some powerful scenes (I loved the Matrix vision of Optimus). You just need to be more careful with your grammar and spelling. Hope I've helped a bit.

    I also read your other post, Chromia as Kup's "daughter." Hmm, can I have permission to possibly use this idea?
     
  3. Rotorstorm

    Rotorstorm OriginalRotorstorm Fanboy

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    that does make closure for the series but i doubt the decepticons would have just layed down their arms like that. uit's routed to far into their systems

    a good read and good idea though
     
  4. Fairlady_Z

    Fairlady_Z Official Voice of Flareup

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    Oh, I also forgot to mention go to youtube and type in "Faith of the Spark" and I think you'll get a pleasant music video surprise with Optimus and the movie.
     
  5. surak777

    surak777 Autobot Musician TFW2005 Supporter

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    nice work
     
  6. GENOZAUR

    GENOZAUR Banned

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    to fairlady z

    go for it there is a very visable resemblance in both colorscheme, facial features, helmit design, and vehicle mode.

    as for who blurr and arcee's father is well it's ironhide.

    what with hot rod literally being the son of optimus prime i figure arcee and blurr being ironhides son and daughter would give hot rod someone in his owna ge group to relate to.
     

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