Discussion in 'Transformers Funnies' started by Agent 539, Nov 22, 2015.
MP Autobots vs Megatron 3271
MP Power Station 3295
MP Go-Bots?!? 3324
Soundwave: Megatron arrives!
Megatron: Soundwave. Prepare for internal scanning. I want to know what's in that box.
Soundwave: Scan complete. Multiple robotic lifeforms detected.
Megatron: Reflector. Remove the lid off the box. QUICKLY!
Megatron: (Maniacal laugh) With these little contraptions, we will crush the Autobots once and for all.
-Meanwhile, Prowl and Red Alert are on patrol.-
Red Alert: I can't wait til we get back to base. Inferno has the latest episode of "As the Kitchen Sinks" on DVR and I can't wait to find out who has the real will.
Prowl: I think it's Donna. She's always the cause of every problem.
Red Alert: Prowl, what are these things?
Prowl: I'm not sure. They seem to be made of some sort of alien metal and I'm detecting multiple energy sources.
Red Alert: Prowl, get back! I'm registering several high spikes in energy!
Red Alert: What are they? Transformers?
Prowl: I don't think so. They are not that sophisticated.
Red Alert: PROWL...HELP!!!
Prowl: Too...many of...them. I can't get...free to...hmph!
Prime: Blaster. Still no word from Prowl or Red Alert?
Blaster: Negative bossbot. The request line has been silent all day.
Prime: Keep trying. We may have to organize...
Blaster: Hold the phone Prime. I got someone on the other line.
Megatron: PRIME! I have Prowl and the schizoid a little tied up at the moment. I suggest you come and retrieve them or I'll mail you their burnt bodies. You pay postage. Ciao!
Prime: Sideswipe, Brawn. Let's roll!
Megatron: He should be here right about...
Megatron: If you guys come any closer, I'll blast Red Alert's head to smithereens! Go-Bots...sieze them!
Prime: Did he say Go-Bots?
Prime: Mirage, now!
Brawn: What are these little thing? Some sort of inferior robot?
Sideswipe: Not sure but I know they aren't built for fighting.
Red Alert: Thanks Mirage!
Mirage: I'll have you free in a second Prowl.
Prime: Oh Megatron...
Prime: ...was very...
Go-Bots?!? Vector Sigma! Of all of the hair-brained schemes that you've come up with, this takes the oil cake. And I thought Kremzeek was your worst idea.
MP The Portable Spacebrigde 3340
Red Alert: I can't believe Donna had the real will. Did you see that coming? It had me stumped.
Warpath: Sometimes, I wonder >ZING!< how you ever became Security Director.
Powerglide: Hey guys, here comes Optimus and Prowl. Thank the Matrix they didn't bring my girlfriend.
Perceptor: Prime, has it suffered any damage?
Prime: Don't worry Perceptor, my sensors indicate no damage to its internal circuitry or housing. Prowl, check with Red Alert about securing the area. Powerglide, can you bring Perceptor' invention?
Powerglide: Sure thing Optimus.
Prowl: This testing site is pretty much out in the open. Is the area secure?
Red Alert: We're running patrols on both sides. I have Smokescreen and Warpath on sentry now.
Red Alert: You were right. Donna did have the real will.
Prowl: I told you she was trouble.
Perceptor: Thank you Powerglide. It's one of my best inventions. It took me all of...
Prime: Go on with your demonstration Perceptor.
Wheeljack: I'm curious to see what this can do as well Prime.
Perceptor: Very well. This is an inter-dimensional transwarping duplex device.
Perceptor: A personal spacebridge. Really Wheeljack, I figured you would have grasped the concept. I would suggest you cease viewing "As The Kicthen Sinks."
Perceptor: >ahem< The concept is very simple. My device will generate up to four mini spacebridges specifically coordinated to Autobot strongholds on Cybertron. Observe.
Perceptor: These mini spacebridges will continue to operate for a span of two breems. This would mean we can travel to Cybertron at a moment's notice without needing to hi-jack a Decepticon spacebridge or Omega Supreme falling apart every time he thinks about transforming.
Prime: I must admit that your mini spacebridge device has merit. I'm relieved that isn't the size of Hoist and Grapple's solar power tower.
Powerglide: Great concept, poooooooor execution.
Wheeljack: Or not needing to run shuttles between Cybertron and Earth for energon cubes.
Prime: Wheeljack, what are you talking about?
Perceptor: Wheeljack, maybe once we get back to headquarters, I'll look over your logic circuits.
Prime: Of course, we can't let the Decepticons find out about this. I approve of this device. Well done Perceptor.
Powerglide: And you won't need the Constructicons to help you build it this time either.
Wheeljack: Oh great! This jerk gets all of the Prime blessings and I'm stuck making trinkets! Remember my shockblast cannon Prime! It works now! Powerglide, you talk too much!
Perceptor: WHEELJACK! Have you blown your diodes!
Wheeljack: Shut up you over-powered microscope! I was the team's inventor before you came along.
Perceptor: This is madness! You don't have to...>oomph!<
Wheeljack: Now to nab this doohickie and scram!
Blaster: Calling all cars. Prowl, we have a situation here. Where is Wheeljack?
Prowl: He's with Prime at the testing site. There was a loud boom so we figured Perceptor's device works. Why the inquire about Wheeljack's whereabouts?
Blaster: Well we've found Wheeljack out like a light but Bumblebee's helping him reboot his systems now. So the better question is detective...
Prowl:...if you guys are nursing Wheeljack, who do we have with us?
Red Alert: Wheeljack! Stop firing!
Wheeljack: You bozos are really slow on the uptake.
Wheeljack: My friends know me as Wheeljack...
Exhaust:...but my enemies know me as Exhaust!
Red Alert: He was masquerading as Wheeljack all of this time? When did he make the switch? Proooo...>oomph!<
Prowl: Nail him! >argh!<
Exhaust: You'll never take me alive copper! I'm smoking hot!
Exhaust: Smoke Tactics? Oh the irony!
Warpath: >POW!< Smokescreen! I'll >BANG!< get him for you!
Exhaust: Blow it out your exhaust Warpath! You'll get nothing but rusty air filters from me!
Time to light up the roads!
Starscream: Did you get the device?
Exhaust: Yeah, their plans went up in smoke.
Starscream: Quickly! Give me the device!
Exhaust: Temper, temper! I think I have what you need.
Starscream: Stop blowing smoke up my afterburners!
Exhaust: I need a light.
MP The Portable Spacebridge II 3346
Perceptor: Prime. Are you still functional?
Prime:...what happened...? What hit me?
Perceptor: Wheeljack's shockblast cannon to be exact. I'm surprised it didn't blow up in his face again. He must have put some serious work into...
Prime: Not now Perceptor. I can't believe Wheeljack went rogue.
Prowl: That wasn't Wheeljack that wiped us out Prime.
Warpath: It was Exhaust playing >ZING!< hallowe'en with us.
Prowl: Somehow' Exhaust knocked out Wheeljack at headquarters and waited around to steal the personal spacebride device.
Perceptor: Now it makes sense why Wheeljack seemed so daft.
Prime: Megatron's gone too far this time! I'm going to set up a mobile command base here. Perceptor, repair Red Alert and Smokescreen.
Perceptor: I'm on it.
Prime: Roller, I need you to find Powerglide. Once he's found, transmit his coordinates to Warpath.
Prime: Warpath. Provide escort for Roller. Once he finds Powerglide, help bring him back.
Warpath: >POW!< Right away Prime.
Prime: Prowl, cover Perceptor while he's repairing Red Alert and Smokescreen.
Prime: Blaster. How is the situation at base?
Blaster: Situation's under control now. We've revived Wheeljack and the other Autobots are investigating how Exhaust got in.
Wheeljack: Prime, be aware that Exhaust is pretending to be me. He's...
Prime: I know Wheeljack. He already made off with Perceptor's PSD.
Prime: Needless to say, we have to find the Decepticons before they use it. I'm going to go after them.
Prowl: How are you going to find them? They could be anywhere by now.
Perceptor: I took the precaution of installing a tracking device that's activated when my...PSD...is in use.
Perceptor: Wheeljack designed an energy reader specifically tuned to the energetic output of my invention. Once they activate it and they will, you'll know exactly where they are.
Prime: Blaster, I'm going to transmit my coordinates. Have Mirage meet me. I'm going to hit Megatron HARD!
Megatron: So this is the personal spacebridge device Perceptor so lovingly fashioned for the Decepticon cause. Magnificent.
Exhaust: That doohickie will place our Decepticon troops in the backyard of any Autobot stronghold. We'll turn their bases into smokey lounges.
Megatron: Indeed. Starscream!
Megatron: You're supposed to be a scientist, figure out how this thing works. I want that device functional as soon as possible...like now!
Starscream: Don't rush me Megatron! I'll be done when I get done!
Megatron: You try my patience STARSCREAM!
Starscream: You'll have my report when I'm done and not a minUTE SOONER!
Prime: I'm glad you caught up to me this quickly.
Prime: Grimlock. Once Wheeljack learns the location of the Decepticons, I want you to meet me there.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock want to munch metal!
Prime: Easy big fella. You, Snarl and Swoop will have your fill of Decepticons.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock more happier than Donna having real will.
Prime: That's because you like troublemakers. Mirage, this is what I want you to do.
Starscream: I am ready for my demonstration. Everyone, gather around to witness true genius at work.
Megatron: It took you long enough genius. Activate MY device!
Starscream: DON'T RUSH PERFECTION MEGATRON!!! Observe.
Starscream: This spacebridge generator is capable of creating 4 miniature spacebridges. When the proper coordinates are programmed into the device, these will allow us to appear anywhere on Cybertron. Dry gulching the Autobots will be like shooting berillium ducks in a barrel. All thanks to my...DON'T TOUCH THAT YOU FOOL!!!
Megatron: Exhaust, you've done well. I am very happy.
Exhaust: Thank you chief. Permission to take five.
Megatron: Permission granted. You've earned it.
Wheeljack: Prime! The device just went live. I'm broadcasting coordinates now.
Prime: Thanks Wheeljack. Relay those coordinates to Grimlock and have him meet us there...fast!
Wheeljack: Will do Prime. Get Exhaust for me.
Prime: Don't worry. I have a few scores to settle.
Starscream: I took the liberty of shortening the duration of the bridges. With time, I will be able to adjust the size of them.
Megatron: >manical laugh< The Autobots will never know what hit them.
Soundwave: Vehicle detected. Possible Autobot. Reflector, investigate.
Reflector: What's that cloud of dust?
Prime: The answer is Optimus Prime!
Prime: Speaking of never knowing what hit them!
Starscream: Megatron has fallen...once again! I am your rightful leader anyway. ATTACK!!!
Starscream: NAIL HIM! WHY DO YOU FOOLS KEEP MISSING?!?
Thundercracker: We're not the only ones missing him you geek!
Exhaust: Things are getting a little bit too hot around here. Time for me to blow.
Mirage: Time to blow you out like a candle buddy!
Soundwave: Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw! Attack!
Prime: Starscream, did you really think I'd be foolish enough to come alone?
Thundercracker: What's he talking abo...
Snarl: Me Snarl want to Dino-mite Decepticons to pieces!
Starscream: It's the Dinobots!
Grimlock: You loud. Me can hear you all the way from base. Swoop, shut him up!
Swoop: Me Swoop take care of Dumbscream.
Starscream: Get away from me you dino bozo!
Reflector: No! Please! Don't...>scheeeeehhh<
Grimlock: Me like when Decepticons beg.
Starscream: Let go of me you bird brain!
Swoop: Me Swoop say this hurts you more than it hurts me!
Snarl: Me hope you get the point!
Prime: Mirage, lie Exhaust here. I want to have a word with him.
Mirage: Here he is Prime.
Exhaust: Hey big boss man. I know you're kinda upset and I can see where you're coming from. How about everybody just calm down and have a Cy-Garrete.
Prime: Exhaust, didn't you know...
Prime:...that smoking is bad for your health!
MP Starscream's Master Plan 3393
Megatron: AGAIN! We are mighty Decepticons, not rock 'em sock 'em robots! I am tired of warriors that are satisfied with failure!
Starscream: Maybe it's not the warriors but your idiotic plans of defeating the Autobots!
Megatron: Maybe if you'd spend more time aiming than you do activating your vocalizer, you'd actually contribute to a Decepticon victory.
Starscream: My resolve is sound Megatron, your plans are not! You actually thought that using Go-Bots to defeat the Autobots was a good plan? Bumblebee alone could fight them and win.
Megatron: I'VE HEARD ENOUGH!
Megatron: I'll improve my odds by melting you down and creating a more competent warrior!
Starscream: No matter how many times you knock me down...
Starscream: ...that doesn't change the fact that your plans always fail!
Megatron: Oddly enough Starscream, a bank of circuits have registered some respect for you. Get up.
Megatron: Decepticons, I'm going to allow my second in command to develop a plan to defeat the Autobots.
Starscream: As a matter of fact I do. Gather around fellow Decepticons. This is what we're going to do.
Perceptor: ...and after troubleshooting, I've narrowed the problem down to a faulty microchip.
Wheeljack: Once a new chip is made, Omega Supreme shouldn't break down each time he transforms anymore.
Prowl: ...you've been out here all day. What's troubling you?
Prime: The Decepticons as always. They've been rather too quiet as of late.
Prowl: I'm concerned about that as well. I have a patrol scouting the area. They should be back soon.
Prowl: Here they are now. What did you find Smokescreen?
Smokescreen: The Decepticons are having more fun stealing energy than I do at a casino over at Fort Hayes Power Station.
Prime: Prowl, organize a battle unit. We're going after them.
Starscream: Hurry up! Faster! I want that first batch of energon ready for transport in half an hour!
Megatron: I must admit Starscream, you've done quite well.
Starscream: Of course oh fearless. Sometimes it takes a fresh perspective to devise a genius plan such as this.
Megatron: Don't get a blown diode over it. Pretty soon, the Autobots will be showing up. We'll see how well your plan really works.
Thundercracker: MEGATRON! It's the Autobots!
Reflector: The Autobots! RUN!
Megatron: So it is. Optimus Prime seems to have such an uncanny nack of arriving at the right time.
Starscream: Cowards! Stand your ground!
Prime: This is rich Megatron. Another energy stealing scheme? Your Go-Bots plan was more original.
Prime: Did you even begin to believe that we'd let you walk out of here with all of this energy?
Megatron: Talk to the hand Prime. You'll do nothing.
Starscream: Besides, you wouldn't want to interrupt a Deception going straight and gathering energy the honest way.
Bluestreak: Hah! A Decepticon going straight. I wouldn't trust you from 11:59 to midnight manifold mouth.
Megatron: You're a hypocrite Prime. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings yet you've come here to oppress us as usual. The wages of war have blinded you.
Reflector: So go back to base you autobozos. We're busy being industrious.
Prowl: Oh shut-up Repeat! Something isn't right about this whole setup and I'm going to find out what it is.
Frenzy: When can we ice these geeks?
Rumble: After the Autobots leave you ditz.
Prowl: So that's their game. The human workers tied up.
Frenzy: Hey...where did this extra shadow come from?
Prowl: I'm here for hostage negotiations. PRIME! The Decepticons have been playing us for suckers.
Prime: I should have known.
Prowl: Go ahead Repeat! Tax a circuit!
Reflector: Can't we have a peaceful discussion about this?
Skywarp: Starscream's plans are no better than Megatron's!
Starscream: I HEARD THAT!
Megatron: This is the last time I let you make plans...ahhhhh!
Starscream: I'll fry Optimus Prime's circuits!
Prowl: Don't move manifold mouth!
Megatron: You and your idiotic plans! Decepticons, RETREAT!
Prowl: The Decepticons, they're escaping.
Prime: Let them go. We'll untie the hostages and return the energy. Good work Autobots.
MP Negavator: Reloaded 3420
Megatron: I trust that you are ready for your demonstration Cobra Commander.
Cobra Commander(CC): As a matter of fact, I am.
CC: This has been a glorious partnership between Cobra and the Decepticons. I am always pleased when both parties can profit...and when I can shut Tomax and Xamot up.
Starscream: I'm not sure if we can fully trust this human. Something about his style seems familiar but I can't put my finger on it.
CC: You are just threatened by my superiority!
Starscream: You'll be superiorly crushed under my foot!
Megatron: SILENCE FOOL! I have no time for this excessive bickering.
CC: Okay boys. We're ready.
Megatron: Magnificent. The specs that Starscream provided during his short stint in the original negavator has come to fruition.
Rumble: And it drives like a dream boss.
CC: Now that you have your >ahem< product, I'll kindly leave as soon as you make good on your side of the bargain.
Megatron: The only thing you've proved is that it moves. I want to see it in action.
Starscream: There is something very familiar about you and it's bugging me.
Soundwave: A cursory evaluation reveals that voice pitch, diction and speech patterns are similar.
CC: Very Strange.
Megatron: Soundwave. Do you see what I see?
Soundwave: It appears to be the Autobot Powerglide.
Megatron: Correction! It appears to be a target!
Powerglide: What do we have here? Red Alert, I've spotted the Decepticons having a picnic with a human and...a tank?
Red Alert: Is it Blitzwing?
Powerglide: No, this tank is uglier than he is.
Powerglide: I'M HIT! I'M GOING DOWN!
CC: What are your thoughts now?
Megatron: >maniacal laugh< I am pleased. Thundercracker and Skywarp will deliver the payoff. Starscream will fly you back to your headquarters. I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about.
Cliffjumper: C'mon guys! Powerglide's down and the Decepticons could be on him at any moment!
Warpath: Like >POW!< ease of the >ZING!< throttle Cliffjumper. We'll >BANG!< get there soon enough.
Red Alert: Powerglide has his beacon activated. I am not detecting any irregularities within the sending pattern. Therefore, he is not under attack.
Smokescreen: Red, you're sounding more like Perceptor every day now.
When did you stop watching, "As the Kitchen Sinks?"
Red Alert: When they introduced Nemesis Donna.
Warpath: >ZOOM!< Powerglide ol' buddy. How >ZANG!< are you hurt?
Powerglide: for starters, I can't fly. Something's wrong with my transformation circuitry. I can't transform. My systems won't even recognize the process.
Red Alert: This hydro-gun will put out the smoke and begin the repair process for your chasis.
Powerglide: Thanks Red. I'm sure I'm gonna hear it from my girlfriend later.
Smokescreen: I still can't believe he has a girlfriend. And she's loaded as well. Powerglide, tell her to give me a free pass at her casino.
Powerglide: Not on your life!
Red Alert: I'm going to place Powerglide on you Warpath. Cliffjumper, have you reached Prime yet?
Cliffjumper: Hold on Red. Yeah Prime. Powerglide said that the Decepticons have this weird looking tank. We're going to to intercept them now.
Prime: No Cliffjumper. Just find them and wait for us to get there.
Rumble: So how was your date with Cobra Commander Starscream?
Starscream: Shut up you fool. For some odd reason, it was like flying with myself.
Reflector: Maybe you two have a kindred spirit.
Starscream: He was annoying!
Megatron: Know you know how I feel.
Reflector: How's the ride Frenzy?
Frenzy: Rolls like a dream. That snake guy really knew what he was doing when he cranked this job out.
Rumble: And this new rail system is top flight. The way I shot Powerglide out of the air...
Cliffjumper: Listen to them laughing at us. It's enough to overheat my crankcase.
Red Alert: Cliffjumper, you heard what Prime said. Do not engage the Decepticons.
Cliffjumper: Sorry Red! I'm going to stick my foot so far up Megatron's exhaust...
Cliffjumper: ...that he'll be plugged up for weeks!
Megatron: So it seems.
Rumble: I'm gonna ice this geek.
Reflector: Take that Autobozo!
Megatron: >maniacal laugh< The Autobots are doomed!
Warpath: You >BLAM!< wait here Powerglide. I'm going to go >BOOM!< tank the Decepticons plans.
Red Alert: Warpath no! Stay here!
Starscream: These Autobots are coming out of the woodwor...ahhhh!
Warparth: Rumble, tanks >ZOW!< for the memories! Heh heh heh!
Rumble: You'll be a memory once I'm through with you!
Frenzy: Ice that geek you GEEK!
Smokescreen: Mind if I cut in?
Reflector: Why does this always happen to me?
Reflector: Who shot me?
Red Alert: I did! You looked like you needed a nap! Oh why do these plans always go belly up?
Warpath: Uh...>zam< what hit me?
Red Alert: Smokescreen! Provide a distraction so I can get to Cliffjumper and Warpath.
Smokescreen: One hard to see through cloud coming up!
Megatron: HIT HIM YOU FOOLS!
Smokescreen: You can't hit what you can't see!
Red Alert: Warpath, are you funtional?
Warpath: >choom< Barely.
Red Alert: I'm gonna get you out of the line of fire.
Rumble: Boss, I can't see him. I'm shooting blind.
Megatron: Use the auto-targeting feature you dolt!
Rumble: Pop goes the weasel!
Megatron: About time. This smoke is irritating.
Megatron: ...get up.
Megatron: I believe we still have one more Autobot to deal with.
Rumble: I can't wait to ice that geeky Red Alert.
Frenzy: Then I'll run him over.
Rumble: Then I'll ice him again.
Red Alert: Why do these plans always go south?
Optimus Prime: MEGATRON!
Soundwave: The Autobots!
Optimus Prime: Autobots! Transform and attack!
Wheeljack: Prowl, give me cover fire! I have something that will take out that tank!
Prowl: Got it! These guys are taken care of.
Megatron: Prime! Why don't you go away!
Optimus Prime: Because you knee'd me Megatron!
Megatron: Oh shut up!
Red Alert: Hold it Repeat!
Reflector: Whatever you say Schizo.
Rumble: Frenzy, swing me around, I have Wheeljack in my sights!
Wheeljack: I wouldn't stick around after this fellas!
Frenzy: Hey! He threw something on here!
Rumble: I...I...can't control it! It's going bonkers!
Frenzy: Bail out!
Wheeljack: Brace yourselves! It's gonna blow!
Megatron: Decepticons! RETREAT!
Optimus Prime: Good job Wheeljack. Hopefully, Megatron will not try another stunt like this again.
Wheeljack: Thanks Optimus. I'm just surprised that my bomb worked.
Optimus Prime: As am I. Let's gather the wounded and head home. Autobots...roll out!
MP Dawn of the Drone I 3481
Exhaust: Man, this is a real drag. They sure are taking their sweet time getting here.
Rumble: Yeah Exhaust. You need to kick back and look the scenery. It ain't Cybertron though.
Frenzy: This scenery's for geeks.
Rumble: You're a geek you geek!
Rumble: Megatron's here and that geeky Starscream.
Starscream: I heard that you pint-sized pipsqueak.
Megatron: SILENCE! I have not time for your insignificant prattle! Soundwave, report.
Soundwave: Laserbeak has spotted Optimus Prime and he is alone.
Megatron: I hope that you are ready with your end Starscream.
Starscream: One day Megatron, you're going to push me too far and I'll...
Megatron: You'll do nothing. Now, while I'll stand here and pretend to be scared...
Megatron: ...have you my device at the ready?
Starscream: ...here oh fearless.
Megatron: I hope that your androids are ready for their picnic with our special guest of honor.
Spike: I can't believe it Optimus. Another day out on patrol and nothing to show for it.
Spike: A whole month with no Decepticon activity. I know they didn't turn legit. They must be up to something.
Prime: Although the quiet time has been really nice, I'm hoping that Megatron shows up soon. I rather have him in my sights than out of them.
Megatron: You'll have your wish soon enough.
Megatron: Drones, activate!
Spike: Optimus, they're driving on the wrong side of the road. They're coming right at us.
Prime: Hold tight Spike!
Spike: There's no one driving it. What am I saying? I'm used to cars with no drivers.
Spike: You can knock them back but they keep coming!
Prime: I have to get you out of here before you get hurt. Roller!
Prime: Take Spike back to base and bring reinforcements.
Prime: What have you cooked up now Megatron?
Megatron: Prime, I'm surprised at you lying down on the job.
Megatron: Maybe you need a nap. >maniacal laughter<
To be continued...
MP Dawn of the Drone II 3490
Prowl: Any word on Prime Bumblebee?
Bumblebee: Nothing yet Prowl. Teletraan's been in contact with Sky Spy, Powerglide, Cosmos and Skyfire and their searches haven't turned up anything.
Tracks: It is strange for Prime not to report in by now. I'll bet Smokescreen's casino money that Prime's in trouble.
Huffer: I knew there would be trouble. Whenever the Decepticons are too quiet, that's when they're at their worst. I think...
Prowl: Can it Huffer.
Red Alert: Have you reached Optimus yet Blaster?
Blaster: Negative Red. The boss man's signal went dark hours ago.
Bumblebee: Guys! It's Spike riding in Roller!
Spike: Optimus is in trouble! He sent me here to get you guys!
Red Alert: Slow down Spike. I'm about to blow a diode trying to figure out what's happened.
Tracks: It's quite clear Red Alert. Prime's up to his smoke stacks in trouble and Megatron is most likely the cause of it.
Red Alert: But how do we find him.
Prowl: Roller has a special bond with Prime being that he's one third of the full unit. He'll be able to lead us right to him.
Huffer: I kept telling everyone that this quiet time was nothing but trouble but would anybody listen? Noooooooo.
Tracks: I think you need to stay here and see Perceptor about that paint job Huffer. It's looking bad. Too bad yours can't look as good as mine.
Huffer: Good grief!
Spike: We're getting close to where Optimus and I ran into those drones.
Prowl: Indeed. I can see evidence of a battle.
Megatron: How deductive of you Prowl. You're about to see the evidence of another battle.
Megatron: How do you like my drones? The fleshling got a taste of them.
Megatron: You'll get the main course!
Bluestreak: Main course? But we're not even hungry. Ha ha ha ha!
Sideswipe: Now's not the time Bluestreak.
Track: Who write's his dialog anyway? It's awful and tasteless.
Smokescreen: Which one? Bluestreak or Megatron's?
Megatron: FLIPPANT FOOLS! We'll see who gets the last laugh. Drones, activate! ATTACK!
Prowl: Roller, get Spike out of here!
Sideswipe: They're coming in fast!
Bluestreak: Too late Sideswipe! Megatron gave me a plate full of Tracks!
Tracks: I don't know what's worse. This clown damaging my gorgeous paint job or your jokes!
Bluestreak: Everybody's a comedian.
Sideswipe: Prowl! On your wheels!
Wheeljack: Easy for you to say. You don't have tire tracks running across you windshield.
Bluestreak: Then you better go catch it!
Wheeljack: Vector Sigma! Who decided to bring him along?
Prowl: Tracks, you and Red Alert provide cover for Spike and find Optimus. We'll keep these drones busy.
Tracks: Right. Good luck.
Prowl: Smokescreen, take that tanker out of the equation.
Smokescreen: I don't think I have a choice. It's giving chase.
Prowl: Sideswipe. Pit maneuver.
Smokescreen: Have you ever seen that movie "Duel?"
Smokescreen: The strong, silent type huh? Guess you won't be seeing much of anything.
Megatron: >maniacal laughter< Your cheap tricks won't save you when I'm the one in the driver seat.
Spike: Did you hear that? He must be controlling them with that helmet.
Tracks: Then we just have to borrow it from him. Besides, it's an ugly accessory.
Tracks: I owe you for scratching my paint job Megatron!
Megatron: You fool! Not the helmet!
Tracks: I'm taking it from you. It's not your color anyway.
Tracks: Found Prime by the way.
Soundwave: The Autobot Tracks!
Prime: I think now would be a good time to release me Exhaust.
Exhaust: No can do boss man. They have me on guard duty and right now, I'm taking five. Soundwave's got it.
Mirage: What gives? They just stopped
Wheeljack: The signal must have been interrupted.
Prowl: C'mon, let's get after Megatron! Autobots, roll for it!
Tracks: Have a seat you uncharismatic bore.
Prime: I warned you Exhaust!
Exhaust: What a drag!
Spike: Red Alert, I got the helmet!
Megatron: Give that back fleshling!
Red Alert: Don't you dare!
Wheeljack: I'll have you free in a second.
Exhaust: Hey Tracks, have I ever told you how cherry your paint job is?
Tracks: I don't need you to tell me what I already know. Now make like a block of ice on mute!
Prowl: Tax a circuit Megatron. I dare you.
Prime: Lying down on the job Megatron? Maybe you should go home and take a nap. Leave...NOW!
Megatron: You haven't seen the last of me Prime! Decepticons, retreat!
Wheeljack: So that's the device Megatron used to control those drones. He's already tried that trick once.
Prime: I have a feeling that he will eventually build a formidable driving force and that's something we'll have to be ready for. Autobots, roll out.
love the shots
Not every solar cycle ya see some star potential funnies like your MP Theater, Agent 539.
great job! Can't wait to read more!
Thanks guys. I appreciate it. A board member suggested that I collect all of my work and stick it in one thread. I'll post more as time goes on.
MP Big Trouble at Dinobot Island 3538
Prime: Wheeljack, where are the Dinobots?
Wheeljack: I don't know Prime. I haven't seen them in a while.
Prowl: It's been awfully quiet without them stomping around.
Wheeljack: Maybe they're in a tizzy about something again. You know how Grimlock suffers from cabin fever.
Bumblebee: Do you think they're getting into trouble Optimus?
Prime: It could be possible Bumblebee. I want you to find the Dinobots and bring them back to base.
Bumblebee: Right Optimus.
Prime: Wheeljack. Prowl. Go with him. If there is any tension with Grimlock, I don't need to escalate the situation any further.
Prowl: Will do Prime.
Professor(Prof.) Montoya: ...so with the location only known to myself, my team and I will trek to the site and recover the Crystal of Acron.
Reporter: Professor Montoya, you've mentioned that the location of the crystal is a secret. Could you tell us about the origin of the crystal?
Prof. Montoya: Certainly miss. Nearly 3000 years ago...
Prof. Montoya: ...an ancient civilization called the Acron existed. Their high priest created a crystal.
Prof. Montoya: He embedded it with great power beyond imagination according to the scrolls that my team were able to recover. Although there is no description of it's power, I did manage to learn it's location.
Megatron: Which is why you're going to tell me where it is professor!
All: Decepticons! Help!
Megatron: Soundwave, I would like to have a word with the professor. Kindly invite him to initiate a conversation with us.
Prof. Montoya: Let me go!
Megatron: Are you going to tell me the location of the crystal?
Prof. Montoya: You'd get more out of a toaster than you will from me you over-sized wind up toy! I'll never tell you!
Megatron: How noble. Soundwave, probe his mind. Make it as painful as the nonsense he spews.
Soundwave: Brain scan initiated.
Prof. Montoya: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Soundwave: Scan complete. The location of the crystal is known.
Megatron: Excellent! Thank you professor. You've been most helpful.
Prof. Montoya: uuuuugggggghhhhh!
Megatron: Oh shut up!
Wheeljack: The Dinobots are the most temperamental bunch I've ever run across. They're always taking a powder and crying about it later.
Bumblebee: Wouldn't you too if you were kept locked in a closet like a broom?
Wheeljack: But headquarters is too small Bumblebee. We can barely fit Skyfire in there or Tracks' ego or Powerglide's bragging.
Bumblebee: Is that why Optimus told you to come along?
Wheeljack: Very funny.
Prowl: That's enough you two. Bumblebee is right Wheeljack. We need to come up with a better solution than the closet.
Slag: Stupid Autobots are here.
Bumblebee: Glad to see you too you big bozo.
Wheeljack: What's the problem now Grimlock?
Prowl: Why are you guys out here?
Grimlock: Us Dinobots wanted to take walk in nature. (Credit: Dr. Smoov)
Snarl: Us want to see trees.
Swoop: Me want to fly in fresh breeze.
Grimlock: Stupid Autobots keep Dinobots in cave forever. Me feel like Smokescreen in casino.
Slag: Stupid Autobots roll out over cliff!
Swoop: Me Swoop think Autobots okay. They built us.
Grimlock: They built us to fight. To destroy Decepticons: They no build us to have fun. We should change sub-group name to Chain Gang.
Wheeljack: Aren't you guys over-exaggerating a bit?
Snarl: Me Snarl not dumb. Over-exaggerate is redundant.
Wheeljack: Vector Sigma!
Slag: Me Slag always say trouble shows up with Autobots!
Prowl: We can fight about this later! Wheeljack, can you analyze that burst of energy?
Bumblebee: No need to analyze it Prowl.
Wheeljack: That's the same energy signature we detected on...
Both: ...Dinobot Island!
Megatron: Frenzy! You clumsy fool! If you've damaged my crystal, I'll turn you into a Ford Pinto!
Frenzy: Sorry boss. I slipped.
Megatron: I should slip my fusion cannon over your face! Now shut up!
Rumble: Way to go you geek! Megatron will ice you while you're recharging tonight.
Megatron: Both of you shut up!
Soundwave: Thermal, composition and energy sprectrum analysis indicate that the crystal is intact. Secondary analysis detects that the crystal's internal energy source is now active.
Megatron: Rumble, dig up my crystal and so help me if you fools damage it any further!
Rumble: I-i-it-it's here Mega-Megatron.
Megatron: Then compose your vocalizer and give it to me.
Megatron: We'll be able to harness the energy and build the ultimate weapon to destroy the Autobots!
Prowl: Let's not and say we did Megatron!
Megatron: Autobots! You're like metal shavings in my servos!
Wheeljack: You'll have proton missles up your exhaust port if you don't can the chatter!
Prowl: So put the crystal back in the ground before we put you in the ground! NOW!
Megatron: You must be running on bad energon. What can two Autobots and a Go-Bot plan to do against us?
Bumblebee: Who are you calling Go-Bot Mega-Jerk!
Grimlock: Me Grimlock says no one picks on bug except us! DINOBOTS!
Thundercracker: Megatron, they have us surrounded!
Megatron: Dazzling deduction.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock say you in trouble Mega-Crumb!
Megatron: Quiet you overgrown lizard. Prowl, control your pets.
Megatron: In case none of you have noticed, this crystal is already expelling energy. If you fools don't back up, I'll accidently break the crystal and who know's what would happen.
Prowl: Can you verify that Wheeljack?
Wheeljack: He's right Prowl. That crystal is registering some major leakage.
Prowl: Everyone, stand down!
Megatron: Decepticons, while they're distracted! Retreat!
Swoop: These creatures cute but Dinobots no taste good.
Grimlock: Hmmm... Dinobot Island has been more busier than me thought.
Snarl: These things are cute. Can me keep one to love him and hug him and call him George?
Grimlock: No Snarl. Dinobots already have Autobots and the Go-Bot as pets.
Bumblebee: I heard that Jurassic Park!
Slag: Me Slag no think they cute.
Prowl: I suspect that the crystal Megatron just made off with is the source of Dinobot Island's oversized population. We have to track down Megatron and return the crystal to stop this madness.
Bumblebee: Now would be a good time to transform and get this fang factory off of me!
Grimlock: Me Grimlock thinks he like the taste of Go-Bots.
To Be Continued...
Very funny comics. And wow, you have a lot of masterpieces! Cool collection.
Awesome stuff, 539!
MP Big Trouble at Dinobot Island II 3552
Swoop: Dinobots no fool around.
Grimlock: Dinobots, transform. Get rid of guests!
Slag: Me feel good to get spiders off back.
Snarl: But Spiders cute.
Slag: Spiders stupid. Just like Autobots.
Wheeljack: Tell me how you really feel Slag.
Slag: Wheeljack also stupid.
Bumblebee: Yeah! Look at 'em go!
Prowl: Now that those creatures are gone, we can concentrate on finding Megatron. Come on guys, lets go.
Grimlock: Us Dinobots no do what cop car says. This not "Dragnet!"
Prowl: Listen Grimlock, we don't have time for this! The longer that crystal stays out of the ground, the more chaos Dinobot Island and perhaps the whole Earth will experience.
Grimlock: You just like Optimus. Always bark orders. Dinobots more powerful than Autobots. Why we should listen to dumb Prowl?
Bumblebee: I've heard enough! Listen you big baby! You claim that you're really powerful but all I hear is nothing but powerful complaining!
Snarl: Me Snarl Dinobot, not step stool.
Grimlock: You talk to me Grimlock that way? Me should...
Bumblebee: You should be quiet and listen every now and then! Optimus or any of us don't give orders to hear ourselves talk. There's a reason and that reason is to stop the Decepticons. You think I wouldn't want to chuck my gun away and have fun really exploring Earth? I can't because of this badge I wear. It's the same as the red one on your chest. It's a pledge to protect life and work as a team to defeat the Decepticons.
Bumblebee: We wear it to fight evil, not become it or shy away from it!
Grimlock: Me Grimlock no like Go-bot's talk! Me should bite Go-Bot's head off!
Bumblebee: But you won't and let me tell you why. Because deep down inside, you know I'm right. And you also know that as long as Megatron is running around, no Autobot can relax. That includes you. So what's it going be Grimlock? You want to work the "chain gang" or do you want to be a Dinobot?
Snarl: Me think Go-Bot make sense.
Slag: Autobots stupid but we Dinobots Autobots too.
Grimlock: Me say Go-Bot right. Us Dinobots but us may not be here if Megatron rule Earth. What next Prowl?
Bumblebee: Welcome back Dinobots and stop calling me Go-Bot.
Grimlock: Yes sir!
Prowl: Great speech Bumblebee. We all need a reminder every now and then.
Wheeljack: For being one of the smallest, you act like the biggest.
Bumblebee: It was nothing guys. We're all on the same team. We need each other.
Prowl: Now that everyone's on the same page, let's get that crystal from Megatron.
Bumblebee: What happened to him?
Wheeljack: Give me room. I need to see what's wrong with him. Swoop, can you talk?
Swoop: Me Swoop lost power when flying too high.
Wheeljack: That's a start. Now get your beak out of my face.
Prowl: Speaking of lost power, I can't get in contact with base. All I get is static.
Grimlock: You still fix Swoop after Dinobots argue with Autobots?
Wheeljack: Yes Grimlock. I know it may be a shock to you but we actually care if you function.
Bumblebee: We're a team Grimlock. Sure, we'll have conflict at times but in the end, we're all on the same side.
Prowl: Are we done with the back and forth? We need to get that crystal now! Bumblebee, Grimlock, Slag and Snarl, we need to find Megatron. Wheeljack will stay with Swoop and repair him.
Grimlock: Wheeljack take good care of Swoop.
Wheeljack: Don't worry Grimlock, after all, Ratchet and I did build you guys.
Slag and Snarl: Don't remind us!
Megatron: Get up you fool!
Thundercracker: What happened?
Megatron: You thought you were Icarus instead of a jet. Soundwave, see what's wrong with him.
Soundwave: Analysis of Thundercracker's circuitry indicates that he ascended into an unknown field that created a conflict with his flight capabilities.
Thundercracker: I don't understand it Megatron. I reached a certain altitude and everything went blank.
Megatron: Everything including your intelligence! It appears that we are prisoners on this island.
Rumble: You mean to tell me that I'm gonna be stuck on this island forever listening to Reflector argue with himself?
Rumble: HELP! Get this geeky dinosaur off me!
Reflector: I am not a snack!
Thundercracker: Where are these things coming from?
Frenzy: I don't care where these geeks came from, as long as they leave! Get your teeth out of my chasis!
Megatron: Decepticons! Stop playing around with these creatures. We have to find some way off of this island.
Reflector: I'll have you free in a minute.
Rumble: Which one are you talking to?
Rumble: Which you?
Rumble: Cut that out!
Grimlock: Me Grimlock say Hi!
Megatron: What the...?
Thundercracker: First it's dinosaurs and spiders, then it's Dinobots. What could make it any worse?
Slag: Thundercracker mouth make it worse.
Snarl: Me Snarl say have seat!
Prowl: Freeze Repeat! Tax a circuit and I'll administer justice acid pellet style.
Reflector: How do we end up in these situations?
Snarl: Me Snarl say Reflector not repeat, Reflector redundant! Me also say Frenzy snack!
Frenzy: Let me out of here!
Bumblebee: I have a little score to settle with you Megatron! Calling me a Go-Bot?
Megatron: How dare you! When I get up, I'll reduce you to metallic ash!
Grimlock: Me Grimlock say float like butterfly, sting like bee!
Bumblebee: How does it feel to get beat up by a Go-Bot?
Megatron: Prime already did it!
Swoop: Look! Wheeljack fix Swoop!
Wheeljack: Just in time too. I took additional readings of the energy field that shut down Swoop. If that crystal explodes above ground, time could collapse on itself and we're all done for.
Swoop: Me want Frenzy to take ride with Swoop.
Frenzy: I thought these Dinobots were stupid but they're down right psychotic!
Swoop! Me think Frenzy no have fun.
Wheeljack: I got the crystal. I'll go put it back in the ground. Bumblebee, uh have fun with Megatron.
Bumblebee: Will do! Just blowing off a little steam!
Grimlock: Me Grimlock referee!
Prowl: You Decepticons take it real easy.
Reflector: This is a long shot but can't we find a peaceful solution?
Slag: Decepticons stupider than Autobots.
Snarl: Stupider Decepticons talk funny. We should get rid of two.
Snarl: You two.
Reflector: Which two?
Snarl: You two.
Rumble: Not this again!
Megatron: Decepticons, we've lost the advantage! Thundercracker, create a sonic boom!
Thundercracker: One sonic boom coming up!
Megatron: Decepticons, RETREAT!
Prowl: My audio receptors!
Wheeljack: I'll be glad when we get this crystal in the ground.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock want to put down crystal.
Bumblebee: Wheeljack, he's part of the team.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock team player.
Slag: Me Slag think you Autobots not stupid.
Prowl: We'll have our differences every now and then but we will always be willing to work them out.
Wheeljack: Swoop, what did you do with Frenzy?
Swoop: Me Swoop got rid of him. Me hate noisy passengers.
That was a good speech Bumblebee!
I feel like I'm watching the real thing! Good job!
Separate names with a comma.