This sounds like something my little sister would do....

 

Hahaha wow, I need to sleep.


When I read your post the 1st time, I thought you said "This sounds like something me & my little sister would do....", and considering that I just read posts about the 14 year old pregnancy stuff, well haah.

 

i laugh at the old Robin Harris joke (and it was used in the movie "Bebe's Kids") about his dad would put on the old blues record that skipped... "hit ya when i wanna," *WHACK*, "when i wanna," *WHACK*, "when i wanna", *WHACK*...

Hey, i still remember getting paddled by the Bus Driver, getting to the Principal's office, getting 3 more licks from him and then getting home and discovering the school called my mom and she took swings at me.

As terrifying as that was to me, i'd support that kind of thing in schools right now.

kids know that adults can't touch them. they know this and take advantage of it.
but you get the right mom with a belt in a room with these wannabe thugs and things will change.

Have you ever had a "come to Jesus" meeting with a 70 year old grandmother with a peach switch (a limber stick that bends for a reason)? they call it that because after 2 hits with it, you're calling for him to make her stop.

after one of those sessions, i didn't even give dirty looks to people i hated.

 

My folks never touched me and I never pulled dumb shit like this worse thing I did was freak out in school a couple times.

You don't have to beat kids to make them behave.

 

Why are we talking about child abus- sorry, I meant "physical punishment."
But seriously, why? I thought we were laughing at the sad state of the next generation.

 

Ye, I certainly don't agree with that....

 

Perhaps. But you need to slap some sense into them every now and then.

 

Oh dear lord....why?  

 

Sometimes I feel like giving the middle finger to my generation...

 

I have seen worse treatment of kids growing up around me.
for every beating i got for doing something dumb and for a few hours thinking Dad was a S.O.B., i saw parents that were harsher.
My dad's parents were that harsh.

There is a big difference between disciplining a child and outright abuse.

i have seen it, and believe me, all that creates is a child with either a broken spirit, or some serious hate toward the parents.

i think a few whacks with a belt is better in the long run than bailing kids outta jail, dealing with teen pregnancy or worse...finding your kid in the morgue because one time too many they felt invincible.

 

This! Since when has beating another human being ever ok?

I can't imagine inflicting physical pain onto the tiny person I carried inside me for 9 months and who trusts me completely to protect them, and then calling it 'tough love'...huh? The betrayal in their eyes as I assault them with my hands/switch/belt whatever would make me want to jump off a high cliff.

There are gentler forms of punishment that are just as, if not more, effective. While I have smacked my kids in the past, it's never been affective at changing the undesirable behaviour and I don't think simply increasing the brutality of the physical punishment would make it more effective. I prefer time-out/grounding, restriction of privileges and an explanation of why the behaviour is not acceptable. Kids will learn self-regulation once they realise that they will have the consequences of their actions to deal with. IN the case of this girl, there would be a total disintigration of trust, she would no longer have an x-box, she would no longer be left alone...she will be constantly watched/chaperoned (which would be embarrassing for her in front of her friends) and she would have to deal with me expressing how disappointed I am with her behaviour.....over and over.....me using the saddest voice possible. Eventually, she would regain some trust and be able to have her x-box back and some more privacy.....and I am pretty sure she will value that trust a lot more. All this without beating her or using physical punishment.

 

I'm product of and a believer of Butt Whoopins -_-

She'll be lucky if the hanger breaks while whackin her and I don't switch to a belt.

 

disciplining your kids with a butt whooping is different from beating them. taking an object and smacking their face with it is abuse, giving them belt marks across their hindquarters is not.

 

I agree. My mom would whoop my ass sometimes, but this is how she did it: She'd always give me a couple warnings, and if I kept acting out, on the third time, she'd basically take me out to the car (if we were out in public), and give me a sound spanking on the butt. No objects, just her hand. She said she did this because she always wanted to feel just how hard she was hitting me, and didn't want to use a belt or spoon or whatever. She stopped spanking me once I got around 10 or 11 years old. There was no need to spank me after that, because I had already been conditioned in my behaviour by then. Yeah, I still did bad things, but I would always think things through whether it was worth it or not, and when I got caught, it was enough for her to be "disappointed" in me to make me feel like shit.

Like anything in life, I believe in balance and not doing anything to excess. Sometimes, kids need to be spanked. You just have to know when to spank and when not to. Sometimes, spanking sends the wrong message. eg: My buddy's kid beat the shit out of another kid at school. It wasn't a fight at all; he basically destroyed the other kid, totally unprovoked just cause he didn't like the kid. So what did my buddy do? He spanked the crap out of his kid. I think that sends the wrong message in that specific situation. So you beat up another kid, so as punishment, I'm gonna beat you up. Doesn't really help, IMO.

 

Honestly, to me....inflicting physical pain on a child never ok. Justifying it by saying that it isn't as bad as a roundhouse kick to the face (not your words, but I am seeking emphasis, here) is disengenuous...at best. Something doesn't have to be the very worst it can be, in order for it to be wrong.

Now, a smack with an open hand, I can see and accept as discipline...I choose not to discipline that way, but won't go all "won't somebody save the children" when I see other people smack their kids. A belt? Any physical beating with an object, other than an open hand IS...in my honest opinion....abuse. I would hand myself over to the authorities myself if I ever found myself using my children as a whipping post....they deserve better than to be hit with a belt by the one person they trust implicitly to protect them from harm. I will NOT shatter that trust.

There is a difference...a huge difference...between an open handed smack and a smack with an object. Believe me, I have seen kids sport real injuries that occured when they were 'disciplined' with an object.....by parents who honestly believed they needed to do what they did to discipline their kids. Well-meaning parents can harm their children, because it is much easier to use excessive force when you use anything other than an (open) hand.

 

my mom spanked me with wood spoon
my 2nd stepfather spanked me with belt
they pushed me with no tv for 2 weeks

 

Wasn't there a story awhile ago of a kid who got injured from a paddling at school so his *rightfully* pissed off mother sued the place?

 

the line between excessive and just the right amount is definitely blurred. i was and am raised on the belt, but my dad's done things to me with it i sure as hell wouldn't call discipline.

if the kid's injured more than a red ass, she has the right to be pissed off. hell, i don't even support anyone other than legal guardians physically disciplining their kids or intimidating them verbally.

 

My grandfather once slapped me in the face because i talked back to him.
i could deal with spankings/belt beatings, but being struck in the face was...well, demeaning.

but, as my mother told me about growing up in her time, it didn't matter if the man lied, the man stole, or whatever, the child never talked back to the father.

different generations, different approaches.