Movies by which you judge others

Only the first Jaws.

Speaking of Speilberg and killer animals...

JURASSIC PARK!

This should go without saying.

Trust me, with the number of people I've met who thought 2 was directed by Speilberg, it should still be said as a reminder.

Now I hope I'm not alone here, is there anyone else who only likes just the FIRST 3 Indiana Jones & Star Wars films? Crystal Skull & prequels were awful. I can't even get through any of the Episodes without almost falling asleep.

Yes. In fact, FUCK yes.

Sorry man, but 1941 is about five minutes of awesome and two hours of "oh God, let me die."

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I still haven't seen Crystal Skull. I just can't bring myself to go out of my way to be pissed off these days. That's why I haven't watched the review of Equilibrium some nerk has up on That Guy With The Glasses.

It is not a bad movie per se, just has some really bad parts. But if you have managed to stay away all of this time I really see no point with you watching it. Almost like when you visit your dying relative and remember them sick in the hospital instead of vibrant during their life. Sort of like that. If you can remember Indy from the first 3 movies...it is probably for the best.

My Advice,

DON'T see it. You're really not missing anything other than the "quite-obvious-from-the-trailers" thing as to WHY Mutt Williams is there and WHY Marion is there. Indy + Marion x saving her from Nazi's & protecting a sacred artifact empowered by God = You know what it equals.

And what's an even greater pisser? The Crystal Skull is not the big "fancy-smancy" treasure. No my friend, THERE IS NO TREASURE. Physically speaking. No, the Goddamn treasure is KNOWLEDGE. ****ing Knowledge! What's the message of the film? Knowledge is power? Screw that, I want some 10,000 year old golden Norse God sword of flames that's worth risking your life for, not "knowledge."

Now add on top of that monkeys, vine swinging, excessive hits to the crotch, never ending waterfall drops, no gruesome deaths, unmemorable villains, "JONESY!", triple-super-double crosses, a complete waste of John Hurt, ALIENS!, flying saucers!, CGI Gophers, and the now-immortalized "NUKE THE FRIDGE" and you've got yourself a stinking pile of cinematic garbage.

Needless to say, I felt the theater feeling incredibly let down and strongly convinced that Lucas and Speilberg had no ****ing idea as to how they even accomplished the previous 3 films.

Heed my warning Optimus Sledge, seeing Indy4 will completely ruin the magic that has been instilled inside of your mind with the last 3 films. Once you see Indy4, it cannot be unseen.

There be some truth in here.

Protip for having a good time: Pretend to love Twilight. It's the easiest way to troll the shit out of uptight douchebags. They'll be proclaiming you captain of the failboat (or whatever retarded internet phrase is cool at the time) before you know it.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that it's ok to love terrible things as long as you know that it's really terrible. For instance, it's ok to love Equilibrium, just don't try to pretend that it's not kinda shitty.

Get out.