Let all who have quarrel take it up verbally in messaging, let them settle their differences peacefully or not at all. Those who wish to save their lives will lose them, but he who gives up all his money for the sake of combinic awesomeness hath my eternal commendation. As for the rest, you have received your reward.
Behold, i sit at the fragilious table and bang my head against it. If anyone hears, let them enter, and talk me out of this madness, or they shall be talked in. One hits themselves repeatedly, that it may feel good for them to stop. If this confuzzleth thee, beware each and every kowinkeydink which ariseth in thy life, it is the mark of mustardseed faith. Ours is a high and lowly destiny.

Read it a few more times. you'll get it eventually.