Lance Halberd
Last Activity:
Mar 15, 2017
Joined:
Feb 17, 2003
Posts:
5,779
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226
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Lance Halberd

oh hai

Lance Halberd was last seen:
Mar 15, 2017
    1. Bryan
      Bryan
      Yeah, he's come a long way since Third Rock From the Sun, no denying that. I bet he had some laryngitis from using that voice.
    2. Bryan
      Bryan
      Man, that movie was really, really, really gay.

      No, really. If I never hear the phrase, "gnawing on my cock" again, I won't mind.
    3. llamatron
      llamatron
      Sounds delicious
    4. llamatron
      llamatron
      I'm hungry for your love.

      I'm also hungry for muffins.

      I think I'm just hungry in general today.
    5. Bryan
      Bryan
      Rigged!
    6. Bryan
      Bryan
      Yeah, I came here to say the same thing Jux did.
    7. Jux
      Jux
      Post it
    8. funkatron101
    9. Bryan
      Bryan
      :lol Ah, now I feel like a self-centered asshole.


      ...it's probably the gun.
    10. Bryan
      Bryan
      :lol

      No worries, guy. Go back to skating on thin ice.
    11. Bryan
      Bryan
      Boot(y) camp?

      And it's not so much that I'm a prize as it is that the few times I've been there, two things are evident:

      1) It's apparently very obvious that I'm straight.

      2) It's also apparent that my simple presence there suggests a possibility to the clientele that is very enticing because of #1.

      So I feel like there wouldn't be any effort, and I want to earn it, y'know? Plus, there might be some expectation of...er, reciprocity.
    12. Seth Buzzard
      Seth Buzzard
      Lance is full of rad.
    13. Lennox
      Lennox
      How odd! I was just noticing that my friends list was severely lacking in people named Lance Halberd.

      Or any people at all.
    14. Bryan
      Bryan
      Actually, we mostly had real Porta Potties.

      The trick was to be waiting for one early in the morning, which isn't a usual time to 'chill.' But if you could get in it right after the hajjis cleaned it and before it got hot, it was about as good as it got.

      And it was your's 'til you finished. But nobody really hid it--many was the morning I'd be out running and have a guy wave to me with his 'chill' magazine as he headed to 'chill.'

      I've got a few other good stories about mastur...err, 'chilling' when I was gone. It's a big part of your free time, y'know.
    15. Bumble Prime
      Bumble Prime
      yeah im just now starting to play with all the cool new features
    16. funkatron101
      funkatron101
      All too true. Gay men have no where to hide.

      I will say I have never really had the size bragging conversation in person without a woman initiating it. As I said before, it seems like Kellie tries to mention it to her girlfriends any time she can. But if it was just guys? Well that would be "gay!" Which ironically isn't gay, ha!

      Online however, every dude magically becomes 10 inches. Amazing, ain't it?
    17. funkatron101
      funkatron101
      I blame women. You take them out of the equation, and there is no reason talk about it.

      This is going to sound awful, and I would never tell her this, but I absolutely hate it when Kellie tells her friends that I am big. Why? This is the awful part.

      I've never cheated on a girl, and I certainly would never plan to cheat on my wife, but the off chance that Kellie has some sort of gorgeous friend for a three way, or a drunken mistake, I wouldn't want the girl to say "I thought you were bigger.." when I dropped my pants.

      Kellie brags as though I am John Holmes, when I certainly am not. Women use this as a power play. They brag to their girlfriends to show that they have the ideal guy, they made the right choice, and they criticize a guy when they want to feel superior. It's their ego we are stroking, we just get caught up in the stupid game.
    18. funkatron101
      funkatron101
      Congratulations! We have anointed you as the TFW2005 dong specialist. Notification of this special honor must have gotten lost in the mail. I apologize.

      As the T.F.W.D.S., your duties include, but are not limited to:
      - Having complete knowledge of each member's member; Size, girth, and special markings;
      - to call-out any particular member who lies or exaggerates the size of their genitalia; and
      - to promote proper dong hygiene.

      Welcome aboard. You are a true asset to the team, and we look forward to your expertise in helping this department grow!
    19. funkatron101
      funkatron101
      I'm glad someone does. Kellie just loves me for my above-average, but nothing to really brag about, dong.
    20. smangerbot
      smangerbot
      i like strawberries.
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