She always was, and I wouldn't say timid as they have gotten in arguments recently over what he's been doing, it's just she doesn't wanna actually sit down and have a discussion about it for said reasons. I don't know, it isn't my business but she doesn't seem to ask anyone else for help except me and her gay friend. It's a mess.

I don't wanna just flat out ask that because I feel she'll get pissed with me about it and then just drop the whole thing. She doesn't like talking about herself personally at all to anyone usually, which makes this even more unusual.

It's also complicated that it's totally out in the open that I liked her at one point, and I can't just straight up be an asshole about it all and tell her how to actually deal with it because she'll just dismiss it as jealousy, even though I took her making it clear it was never gonna happen to heart and dropped it. It's a mess.

 

When you're in love you sometimes put up with shit you shouldn't (Captain Obvious!).
I guess to me, the important thing would be whether she thinks it's actually ok for him to call her these things. If she realizes it's disrespectful and she is independent, at some point she'll reach a breaking point and gtfo on her own.

You say she's getting into fights with him about it- sounds like she's already starting to push back.

Her loving him/having a crush will buy this guy some time, but every girlfriend I've known who dated a jackass and knew she deserved better eventually reached the Fck It point.

So unless it gets worse or her safety is in question- let her stand her own ground and let this guy dig his own grave. Just my 2 cents.

 

Well, I'm of the school of thought that knowing what caused a failure can help avoiding that mistake in the future. I have been giving the guy encouragement towards changing his lifestyle for years every time he complains to me about being single. It might hurt his feelings now, but if it helps him make a positive change, where's the harm?

I think that will work. He'll be down abut it, I just hope he doesn't turn into a gibbering man-child.

I was thinking about talking to him about it, but you are right, it has to come from her.

 

I'd say mention it to her when you see it, but really, it's not something you can fix. She has to decide to get out of a bad situation on her own. She's an adult (I assume) and should be allowed to make her own mistakes. Now if it ever turns physically violent within eye-shot, put a pool-cue across his teeth.

 

I mean I'm not making her decisions for her or anything, I just listen and try to get her to think about the shit she's describing and how she'd view it if it was anyone but her. I doubt they'll break up anytime soon, especially since what's causing the fights is about to stop for the year. My only fear for her is she'll wait another year to do anything and the same shit will happen because I don't see the guy changing.

 

People can be very forgiving when relationships are involved (even to a fault). I guess just stick around and support her and mention something when it feels like it goes too far.

 

I have a date to go one tomorrow and its confirmed for a date and this is like the least ambiguous thing ever and Im pumped

 

Penguin suit?

 

Relax. Have fun. Enjoy your time with her, and be yourself.

 

Remember, stick in her poopahahahahahahhahaha.

No really, just have fun.

 

Unless he wears a penguin suit none of that can happen.

 

Like I'm pretty sure this one will go well, like theres no "oh hey bt dubs i have a boyfriend" and no "im yr friends ex" no this is just ayy pick me up at 7 its a date. This willl be gooda  

I'ma be real, of all the cool ass things in my apartment the penguin suits not up here. It got lost long ago. Mom made me a giant fish head thats pretty cool tho

 

So the date was cool. We talked a lot and saw Interstellar which was mind blowing but not as mind blowing as 2001 or anything. I feel like I couldve gone in for a kiss but i got nervous and came out of the hug to soon and then i was like shit she was totally going in. And then I realized i didnt complement her look and i was liek shit she looked really good

but she said shed come with me to Thee Oh Sees Saturday so I guess she digs me.

 

After several great dates with someone I recently met, it suddenly went sour out of nowhere. Just the other day we had a nice time together but I think he was expecting something more since we were about 5 dates in (the guys know what I mean). Needless to say, he dumped me the following day.

Oh well. Life goes on and I suppose I just weeded out a bad one. Still, I feel somewhat hurt because I went out of my way to drop my guard after he encouraged me to do so. I really feel like I have a lot to offer a guy but he needs to be patient. As the old saying goes good things are worth waiting for  
And at least I can vent here in the meantime! Thanks for listening...

 

Yeah well if you had a penguin suit it would have gone better everything's better with a penguin suit...

Whelp he's an asshole but that's the dating world we live in. I apologize on behalf of all men.

 

you are welcome.  

i got news from my friend (who was once my girlfriend) that she is inviting my family to her wedding on Christmas day. i'm not gonna lie, though i wish her happiness, it is kinda bittersweet. but whatever.

 

^ This just made my day

You're right though, that is how dating goes. No wonder it takes more than a few dates to warm up to someone. One thing I noticed is the ones who talked a lot ended up changing in the blink of any eye. It's like they were trying to distract me from discovering who they really were.