Man's mouthy parrot reveals girlfriend's affair

[drippy]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/01/17/uk.parrot/index.html

LONDON, England -- A computer programmer found out his girlfriend was having an affair when his pet parrot kept repeating her lover's name, British media reported Tuesday.

The African grey parrot kept squawking "I love you, Gary" as his owner, Chris Taylor, sat with girlfriend Suzy Collins on the sofa of their shared flat in Leeds, northern England.

But when Taylor saw Collins's embarrassed reaction, he realized she had been having an affair -- meeting her lover in the flat whilst Ziggy looked on, the UK's Press Association reported.

Ziggy even mimicked Collins's voice each time she answered her telephone, calling out "Hiya Gary," according to newspaper reports.

Call-center worker Collins, 25, admitted the four-month affair with a colleague called Gary to her boyfriend and left the flat she had shared with Taylor, 30, for a year.

Taylor said he had also been forced to part with Ziggy after the bird continued to call out Gary's name and refused to stop squawking the phrases in his ex-girlfriend's voice, media reports said.

"I wasn't sorry to see the back of Suzy after what she did, but it really broke my heart to let Ziggy go," he said.

"I love him to bits and I really miss having him around, but it was torture hearing him repeat that name over and over again.

"I still can't believe he's gone. I know I'll get over Suzy, but I don't think I'll ever get over Ziggy."

Taylor acquired Ziggy as a chick eight years ago and named him after the David Bowie character Ziggy Stardust.

The bird has now found a new home through the offices of a local parrot dealer. Collins, who admitted the affair, said: "I'm not proud of what I did but I'm sure Chris would be the first to admit we were having problems."

She added to The Guardian newspaper: "I am surprised to hear he got rid of that bird.

"He spent more time talking to it than he did to me."

[Nerd Bomber]

That's awesome...not the whole affair and the parting with the parrot but that the parrot 'recorded' it.

[Zero Prime]

But having to here "I love you Gary" over and over again. Ahh, that would suck.

[TSFC]

Yeah, that definitely would suck. Here's a clue for him though, when the woman says "He'd be the first to tell you we were having problems" and "He spent more time talking to it than he did to me."

I'm starting to think she had a reason to cheat for a while now. Not that I condone it.

[Wing alpha]

a cool parrot if you ask me.

sucks for the guy though

[Draven]

Yeah, that definitely would suck. Here's a clue for him though, when the woman says "He'd be the first to tell you we were having problems" and "He spent more time talking to it than he did to me."
I'm starting to think she had a reason to cheat for a while now. Not that I condone it.
That's why human beings have the ability to talk to each other. There is never a good enough excuse to cheat on someone.
However, kudos to the parrot. This could have only been funnier if it had kept saying "Your woman is a slut".

[MikeTSI]

This could have only been funnier if it had kept saying "Your woman is a slut".

Or maybe "How does Garys dick taste?"
:D

[Draven]

Or maybe "How does Garys dick taste?"
:D
Or maybe "Gary, that's not in where you think it is!"

[Random Autobot]

Sorry, but this story would be far funnier if the bird kept squaking "Fuck me, Gary!" over and over again.

[Lance Halberd]

Or maybe "Gary, that's not in where you think it is!"

:lol :lol

In college, we had this friend Mario. Or as we called him "Wrong Hole Mario". Yeah, exactly. Everyone knows this story before I even tell it.

Both he and his ladyfriend were on the large side, and Mario was a little nearsighted. One night as a small group of us were outside his apartment, we heard his ladyfriend exclaim at the top of her lungs "WRONG HOLE, MARIO!!!"

Good times, good times.

[Random Autobot]

:lol :lol

In college, we had this friend Mario. Or as we called him "Wrong Hole Mario". Yeah, exactly. Everyone knows this story before I even tell it.

Both he and his ladyfriend were on the large side, and Mario was a little nearsighted. One night as a small group of us were outside his apartment, we heard his ladyfriend exclaim at the top of her lungs "WRONG HOLE, MARIO!!!"

Good times, good times.

:lol :lol :lol :lol

[TSFC]

Lol! X-d

[rattrap007]

"Squak!! Do me harder Gary... Rawk"

"Rawk.. who's your daddy?"

[Wreckgar]

Yeah, that definitely would suck. Here's a clue for him though, when the woman says "He'd be the first to tell you we were having problems" and "He spent more time talking to it than he did to me."

I'm starting to think she had a reason to cheat for a while now. Not that I condone it.
Or maybe she was just trying to justify cheating so she doesn't look like the whore she is? If it's not working, break up, don't cheat and stay with someone.

[Insane Galvatron]

Or maybe she was just trying to justify cheating so she doesn't look like the whore she is? If it's not working, break up, don't cheat and stay with someone.Quoted for truth. Been there, done that.

[Optimus]

:lol :lol

In college, we had this friend Mario. Or as we called him "Wrong Hole Mario". Yeah, exactly. Everyone knows this story before I even tell it.

Both he and his ladyfriend were on the large side, and Mario was a little nearsighted. One night as a small group of us were outside his apartment, we heard his ladyfriend exclaim at the top of her lungs "WRONG HOLE, MARIO!!!"

Good times, good times.

*falls over laughing, smacks head on dresser, and dies*

[Arcee]

:lol :lol

In college, we had this friend Mario. Or as we called him "Wrong Hole Mario". Yeah, exactly. Everyone knows this story before I even tell it.

Both he and his ladyfriend were on the large side, and Mario was a little nearsighted. One night as a small group of us were outside his apartment, we heard his ladyfriend exclaim at the top of her lungs "WRONG HOLE, MARIO!!!"

Good times, good times.

*falls off chair laughing*
That is the funniest thing have read in a long while.

[aksmth]

She broke the golden rule. No records. No e-mails, no text messages, no pictures, no video, no parrots. Simple rules.

[Jux]

nm

[FreshDebesh]

:lol :lol

In college, we had this friend Mario. Or as we called him "Wrong Hole Mario". Yeah, exactly. Everyone knows this story before I even tell it.

Both he and his ladyfriend were on the large side, and Mario was a little nearsighted. One night as a small group of us were outside his apartment, we heard his ladyfriend exclaim at the top of her lungs "WRONG HOLE, MARIO!!!"

Good times, good times.
There has to be a Super Mario joke in their somewhere.

[Streck]

How large was she? Could he have been mistakenly targeting, say, her navel?

[drippy]

nm
was this your one rude post of the day? i gotta know.

[Jux]

was this your one rude post of the day? i gotta know.

No, I've yet to use my rude credit for the day.

It was actually a botched "O RLY" joke.

[flamepanther]

Or maybe she was just trying to justify cheating so she doesn't look like the whore she is? If it's not working, break up, don't cheat and stay with someone.If it hadn't already been said, I was gonna. There is never a "reason" to cheat. Either work it out, or leave. Don't try to have it both ways.

[Lance Halberd]

How large was she? Could he have been mistakenly targeting, say, her navel?

She was shaped like a Red Delicious apple. Very big on top, with a slight taper downwards. In choir, she was a soprano. The kind of soprano that would give Richard Wagner a boner the same caliber as the ones he got when he though about how much he hated the Jews.

I never worked out the mechanics of their copulation, but I always pictured elephant seals whenever they mentioned it.

[dragontron88]

Its a real life, organic laserbeak!

[Ops_was_a_truck]

You know, if she had shopped at Michael Palin's pet shop, none of this would have happened.

[Harbinger]

Or maybe she was just trying to justify cheating so she doesn't look like the whore she is? If it's not working, break up, don't cheat and stay with someone.


how very true. if your having relationship problems sleeping with somone else isnt gonna fix it.

and above all i feel sorry for the poor parrot. not its fault his former masters whore of a ex taught him the wrong things to say. poor lil' guy :(

[drippy]

how very true. if your having relationship problems sleeping with somone else isnt gonna fix it.


I don't condone cheating in any way. That being said, I don't think there's any cheater in the world who expects to "fix" their current relationship through having sex with another person.